Sockpuppet Friday—The Bad Review Edition!
[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here. Or by Twitter @AaronWorthing.]
As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sock puppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself, a lot.
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
—————————–
Now it might be light blogging today (we’ll see how it goes), but…
First, Big Journalism has posted a version of my piece on NPR and elevated it to Featured Story status. Cool. Of course regular readers got to see virtually the same work two days earlier, so that makes you ahead of the curve and in general one of the cool kids.
Second, did you know that Amazon.com is selling a version of the article, for about three bucks?
Which led me to think… I wonder what would happen if they started to get some bad user reviews…? hint, hint…
Update: And a belated thanks to Average Joe for pointing out to me that they were selling the article on Amazon. I would suggest that if you buy it, you should do so using the search box on the side, so that Patrick gets a little money back (with no additional cost to you). But… really, are there going to be a lot of people who regularly read this site and want to pay $3 for that POS?
[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]
on a serious, non-sockpuppet note, i know one of you alerted me to the fact that the article was on amazon, but i don’t remember who and in which thread. so if you tell me who did and on what thread, i will give credit where credit is due in an update.
Aaron Worthing (e7d72e) — 7/8/2011 @ 6:56 amI’ve been gang raped in a Nixonian Nazi sympathizing holocaust of comments!
Anita Busched (e7577d) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:05 amAaron, looks like AverageJoe, here. (I love the search function in Firefox…)
no one you know (325a59) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:06 amSorry, Average Joe.
no one you know (325a59) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:07 am…not AverageJoe. Now if I’d only use Live Preview, heh.
no one you know (325a59) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:07 amthanks noyk. that is where i saw it.
Aaron Worthing (e7d72e) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:08 amI can tell by the remarks in the comment section of this blog that none of you are scientist or lawyers, and therefore IMNSHO, unworthy of said privilege.
EricPeedSchlongston (e7577d) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:09 amhey did you see my post at Big Government! and Big Journalism! and on Fox news! and… and… and…
Aaron Worthing, the Attention Gigalo (e7d72e) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:09 ammmmm, constitutionally literate gigolos…Hey wait – we’re chaste as well as chased! We’re the TEA PARTY!
Tea Party Hotties (325a59) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:13 am!
A scientist or lawyer would know how to spell “gigolo!”
EricPeedSchlongston (e7577d) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:13 amAnita, no matter what others say, or our actual record, we’re a reliable historical resource—HONEST!
GuardianUK (e7577d) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:19 amRichard Stengel’s essay on the Constitution was utterly fascinating. I can’t wait to read more of his articles.
Retracto, the Correction Alpaca (a15aa7) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:23 amunemployment up
ColonelHaiku (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:25 amMontana vacation off
grizzly bear hit off
Aaron, watch your mailbox. Your ginormous check and your secret decoder ring will be arriving any day now.
Andrew Breitbart (291f9a) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:29 amSo. Wednesday’s coming fast. Where’s my book-advance money? I’ve got parties to get to, you know!
Casey Anthony, flashing that winning, adorable smile (325a59) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:29 amAaron, a hint to save you time: the enclosed message will say, “BE SURE TO READ YOUR CONSTITUTION.”
Andrew Breitbart (325a59) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:32 amAmericans don’t care about unemployment, unless they’re unemployed.
David Plouffe (e7577d) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:34 amwhen will em s em
ColonelHaiku (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:34 amexpect the unexpected?
not in my lifetime
grizzly assassin
ColonelHaiku (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:37 amsuckle at furry hind teat
have mad killah skillz
Pffft! 18K jobs created in June, and unemployment up to 9.2%—FUNEMPLOYMENT Summer! Great beach weather expected.
MakeBelieveMedia (e7577d) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:37 amNew gun control laws except for mexican drug cartels.
MakeBelieveMedia (e7577d) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:40 amliberal mincing
ColonelHaiku (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:41 amcombined with the light loafers
source of amusement
The bad economy will have no effect on Barack Hussein Obama’s reelection. Just you wait and see.
david pfouffe wannabe (ef780c) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:42 amOK, it was my father’s dream to get rid of me, so what! At least my mother didn’t get a tatoo.
TOTUS (1c9132) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:45 amSurely you didn’t expect me to answer your tweets, you conservative ninnys. Actually, I don’t speak that well, so throw in a few UHs, AHs, MMMs, etc. Reading is hard.
Barack Hussein Obama, President Forever (ef780c) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:45 amif Biden have stroke
ColonelHaiku (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:45 amPelosi waiting in wings?
comedy central
Is this a Town Hall
ColonelHaiku (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:48 amor Potemkin Village Hall,
Barry Obama?
What are capital
ColonelHaiku (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:50 amcities of states fitty one
thru fitty seven?
obvious that Math
ColonelHaiku (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:52 amwasn’t your strong suit, was it
mister president?
Mmmmm, MuhMummmm, Ahmmmah. Caylee’s last words.
Mommy (1c9132) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:53 amThat’s what happens when you buy the cheap duct tape.
Home Depot Clerk (e7577d) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:57 am30 and 31…
dude. seriously, dude.
Aaron Worthing (e7d72e) — 7/8/2011 @ 8:04 amSorry, delete it!
Home Depot Clerk (e7577d) — 7/8/2011 @ 8:05 am‘He did what?’
DAvid Cameron (d380ce) — 7/8/2011 @ 8:06 amIf you union goons didn’t vote Democrat, don’t ask me for help. As if I was going to help you anyway.
JoeyB (ef780c) — 7/8/2011 @ 8:11 amI enjoy reading the insightful postings of Aaron Worthing. An intellectual presentation always.
mr. archer (4de175) — 7/8/2011 @ 8:16 amI thought Amazon ceased their California associate program thanks to the Guv.
Is Patrick still receiving commissions?
Ed from SFV (7d7851) — 7/8/2011 @ 8:28 amEd, that is a good question that… i have no answer to.
i don’t think that is the same program as he is using, but… i’ll ask.
Aaron Worthing (e7d72e) — 7/8/2011 @ 8:33 amYou guys gotta reelect Obama. I don’t want him here overshadowing my limelight.
Rahmbo E (3cb7fd) — 7/8/2011 @ 8:35 amIf Casey Anthony marries Richard Stengel, she would become Casey Stengel.
The laws protecting the people of America have been around for a few hundred years, but I see new ways they can be lost I never knew existed before.
Each of the above needs to get on with their lives, now that they got away with the destruction of something precious. In order to do that, they need to keep the people who hate them away from those who are undecided.
Yoga Berries (fb9900) — 7/8/2011 @ 8:56 amNow that was funny! And look, no personal attacks! Yoga, that was well put.
O-mah (4de175) — 7/8/2011 @ 8:59 amThe Constitution mandates the immediate and permanent imprisonment of Aaron Worthing.
OK, I haven’t read it in awhile, but I’m just sure that’s in there somewhere.
Richard Stengel (890cbf) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:00 amMr Worthing,
I know you think you are achieving notoriety, but I’ll have you know that my work is now the number one best seller in dollar stores in the US, as well as, it appearing in most outhouses across the country.
Sincerely.
R,Richard
R-Richard St-Stengel (d29614) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:13 amWhy Sockpuppets only on Friday? Some of us, me and The Rhodesian, play the game 24/7.
butt-licker (1c9132) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:14 amWhy Sockpuppets only on Friday? Some of us, me and The Rhodesian, play the game 24/7.
Comment by butt-licker — 7/8/2011 @ 9:14 am
Come on over; the sockpuppet party never stops!
AOSHQ (325a59) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:15 amAaron Worthing wishes he was TIME-worthy.
Richard Stengel, Constitutional Expert (ef780c) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:17 amaaron worthing two
FranklinDelvecchioRooseveldt (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:17 amwords will live in infamy
just a gigolo
Come on over; the sockpuppet party never stops!
Comment by AOSHQ — 7/8/2011 @ 9:15 am
Yeah well, the downside is, no one reads the posts, only the comments. And judging by the double postings, neither do I.
Ace the Ewok Hobo Hunter (325a59) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:18 amAOSHQ has posts? Who knew?
A. Breitbart (ef780c) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:20 amHey, let’s teach our students that cheating is the only way to get ahead in the world! Don’t study – lie, falsify, and ORGANIZE!
It’s a good thing that academics is not run like athletics.
Atlanta Teacher (b120ce) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:21 am#43,
BFD. Let me know when you write a New York Times bestselling book, break a story on your blog that leads to front-page stories on most major newspapers in the country, and have your blog entry read by a senator during congressional hearings.
Good day, sir.
The greatest Sockpuppeteer in the history of this blog (f1f4c4) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:23 amthere once was a liberal lout
RichardSkankel (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:26 amof the Constitution he presumed
he knew something about
along came one Aaron
proved said lout’s craw barren
ain’t even close… this one’s a rout
No sock puppet. just a heads up!
Larry Elder will have Craig Huey on his show later. This is the Hahn race, CA-36, with the gangsta-stripper thing that was done by a 3rd party PAC. Would be fantastic to have a fiscal conservative win the district.. the race is that close.
Craig Huey in about an hour (10:35am) on 790. Vote Tuesday, peeps!
Vermont Neighbor (af7a3a) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:32 amWow, President Obama’s statement on the “Jobs Report” gave me another tingle up my leg. He can do no wrong!! It’s criminal that Republicans are against him!!
Chris Mathews (6451eb) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:44 amI have GOT to get Haldeman, Ehrlichman, and Dean in here to see how that Obama works. He is a real piece of work. They could really learn something from those guys.
Richard Milhous Nixon (6451eb) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:56 amthe Audacity
ColonelHaiku (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:13 amof Sheer Indifference will
cost the prez BIGTIME
Hey, John, turn off the (expletive deleted) taperecorders. (expletive deleted) George Wallace is (expletive deleted) killin’ me, he’s (expletive deleted) pulling nearly 20% of my (expletive deleted) voters, while me and McGovern split the rest. If Liddy and Hunt can find some (expletive deleted) nutcase to shoot the SOB then I’ll get all (expletive deleted) Wallace’s votes and we’ll all be home free.
Get those two (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) on the (expletive deleted) phone right now. And, tell ’em I want an update on that (expletive deleted) bugging operation too.
Tricky Dick (1c9132) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:16 amLadies and Gentlemens, Haiku presents…
Mike the Headless Chicken!
http://www.howtobearetronaut.com/2011/07/mike-the-headless-chicken/
ColonelHaiku (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:34 amwouldn’t believe it
ColonelHaiku (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:36 ampossible but current state
of nation confirms
It’s the same program. Either Patterico has given his affiliate account to someone outside California, or the affiliate links here do not produce money anymore. My guess is he’s simply been too busy to look into this issue. I don’t see why it would be a problem if he simply turned the affiliate account over to one of his relatives outside Cali, but this is probably none of my damn business. 🙂
Anyway, just another reason why I don’t live in beautiful California.
Dustin (b7410e) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:38 amAnyway, just another reason why I don’t live in beautiful California.
Comment by Dustin — 7/8/2011 @ 10:38 am
So what am I, chopped liver? Uh, on second thought, you might want to think carefully before you answer.
San Francisco, home of the neverending double entendres (325a59) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:45 amFrom up here, you all look like ants.
Shuttle Atlantis (291f9a) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:47 amIt’s Just. Not. Fair. *pounds fist into Casey Anthony’s photo in prison-issue newspaper*
Ugly overweight male killers on death row everywhere (325a59) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:49 amI feel as if I’ve been literally gang raped.
Metaphorical Gang Rape (291f9a) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:55 amRE: Stengel’s errors: I left a review boosting Aaron’s article on this subject. But it’s on the second page. With a few votes, it would probably reach the main page and perhaps be more prominent than the reviews claiming that they just love Richard’s lying and their problem with this Kindle book is there isn’t more of it.
Gravy Lips Ray, Epsilon Germ Defense Team Three, This Sockpuppet's name is stupid. (b7410e) — 7/8/2011 @ 11:14 amafter reading those
ColonelHaiku (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 11:42 amreviews colonel think Stengel
better quit day job
Gravy
thank you, sir.
Aaron Worthing (e7d72e) — 7/8/2011 @ 11:48 amI think anyone that uses violent rhetoric should be shot!
Liberal Pundit Industry (394df4) — 7/8/2011 @ 11:55 am62. From up here, you all look like ants.
Comment by
Shuttle AtlantisThe POTUS inhis ivory towerthe White House — 7/8/2011 @ 10:47 am— There. FTFY! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Icy Texan (07c5b7) — 7/8/2011 @ 3:21 pmMedia Matters should continue to receive tax-exempt status, so that I may continue to appear on the left-leaning Chris Matthews Show on the left-leaning MSNBC network, and continue to complain about how right-leaning FOXNews is.
Eric Boehlert (07c5b7) — 7/8/2011 @ 3:24 pmTea Party heh. I just endorsed Mitt for Prez. Take that fools… http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/post/huntsman-gets-a-second-dose-of-bad-news-from-home-state/2011/07/08/gIQAt3Yx3H_blog.html
Jason Chaffetz (481f2a) — 7/8/2011 @ 5:03 pmAnd yeah, sorry for not being funny.
Jason Chaffetz (481f2a) — 7/8/2011 @ 5:04 pmCrap! If I was still Speaker, those bastards wouldn’t dare run videos of me from a year and a half ago saying Obamacare would create 400,000 new jobs immediately.
Nancy P (0cd6a2) — 7/8/2011 @ 5:47 pmThe aledged comment I made about being responsible for the ATF Mexican gun runners before a bunch in Mexico? Just an error in translation.
Eric the man Holder (0cd6a2) — 7/8/2011 @ 5:49 pmI can’t effin believe it! All my work to try that slut in the media and the jury had aquitted her because there wasn’t enough evidence? I don’t give a rat’s butt about the rules of evidence. The slut was guilty, damnit!
Nancy Fallen from Grace (0cd6a2) — 7/8/2011 @ 5:55 pmHey there good lookin! How about we meet outside the jail in a few days when they let me out? After all this time in cell I could use a nite of hot, wild sex.
Casey with her hair down (0cd6a2) — 7/8/2011 @ 5:58 pmGranted, I did not call special session and the fact the legislature sent me a balance budget, therefore clsoing down state government. However, my personal maid and personal chef are essential government employees, without them the Land of Lakes could not function.
Dayton, Gov of MN (0cd6a2) — 7/8/2011 @ 6:05 pmI just want to say thanks Mr. Holder. You have helped us to raise even more money than Hillary Clinton. And that’s saying a lot.
Tom Fitton, Judical Watch. (0cd6a2) — 7/8/2011 @ 6:14 pmDid anyone notice it got quiet around here? There is so much to sockpuppet about this week…..
The Cheshirecat ^..^(____)~~~ (0cd6a2) — 7/8/2011 @ 7:09 pmEPWJ says I don’t have to respect Patterico, so I won’t!
Girl-type JD (^-^) (07c5b7) — 7/8/2011 @ 8:49 pmcolonel want his free
ColonelHaiku (822dce) — 7/8/2011 @ 9:32 pmmachinegun from DoJ’s
fast and furious
I’m so glad I don’t have to go on that vacay to that God-forsaken state, whichever one of the 57 it is.
Michelle R. Obama, First Lady (ef780c) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:09 pmWhy do we even have a constitution? Consider that the constitution outlaws political speech altogether, and the founding fathers never even read it! It’s 3000 years old, and if you playback the audio version, it tells you that Paul McCartney is dead, which is plainly untrue, as he hasn’t been dead in twenty years or more.
Furthermore, I am insane.
Rickie Stengel (b7410e) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:14 pmAmericans care nor that my hands smell like cabbage, nor that they can’t get a job. America is so over this stupid unemployment issue.
Carnie Carney (b7410e) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:16 pmThe economic challenges we face weren’t created overnight and they’re not going to be
Barack Obama (b7410e) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:17 pmsolved overnighteven slightly improved within three years.Have you heard the news?
EricPWJohnson (73cea7) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:21 pmAbout all of the Jews?
They hide in Iran,
It’s part of their plan,
To avoid paying higher taxes in Alaska.
The US Federal Deficit went up $45,000,000,000 in June. The US added 18,000 jobs in June.
That’s two and a half million dollars more debt per new job. For a month. That’s the direction we are headed in right now, as a country.
If each of these 18,000 people earn $2500 per month and are taxed for 10,000% of their income, we break even.
Not the CBO (b7410e) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:25 pmOh, I dropped a decimal. If each of these 18,000 workers are bringing home $2500 per month, we merely need a tax rate of 100,000% to close the deficit.
And the democrats have refused to pass a real budget in 800 days or so. Because by not passing a real budget, the spending can continue largely unabated until we crash into the debt ceiling. And instead of demanding we get a real budget passed with absolute urgency, Obama is much more interested in that pesky debt ceiling, already stratospherically high.
Not the CBO (b7410e) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:28 pmI will be asking my senator to propose the “Gaga Amendment”, to allow gender indeterminates to marry whomever they wish.
And you thought I was just being flippant. Guess I showed you!
Stengel (73cea7) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:30 pmEric-jon! Help us! We have been ignored by the census!
Reza Pahlevi Goldbergenstein (b7410e) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:30 pmHey Patterico, thanks so much for all the extra business you have recently directed our way!
…. now about that referral fee… um… this is kinda awkward. At most we can offer you an excellent selection of E-cards and online calendars.
Amazon dot com (b7410e) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:33 pmThe residents, businesses and ‘community groups’ of the 15th District are hard-working and focused on the City’s most important issues: superior Pyrex containers for baking at home, teflon pans appropriate for removing non-stick coating for use on … items, and ‘community outreach’ to unemployed ladies in need of work.
I am proud to have provided your money to special representatives in the community that give our special part of town that unique culture you just can’t find in flyover America.
Janice Freaking Hahn (b7410e) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:39 pmOn Cenk Uygur’s show they displayed a graphic showing how the number of unemployed as a percentage of the workforce is a bigger number than the amount of the deficit as a percentage of the budget. Therefore, ipso facto, creating jobs is more important than curtailing spending.
Ha ha. I win!
Special guest idiot, Al Sharpton (73cea7) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:39 pmGotta love the new math! Also gotta love the continued damn asinine idea that cutting the deficit will somehow conflict with job creation, when the reality is quite the damn opposite.
Dustin (b7410e) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:42 pmI do not want to bend over and let Yelverton have his way with me!
Not again.
O-mah (73cea7) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:51 pmNeocons!!! I will now expertly deconstruct every idea you’ve EVER had:
…
Just a minute …
…
Any second now …
…
NEOCONS!!!!!
Silicon Crock (73cea7) — 7/8/2011 @ 10:57 pmYou all need to lighten up, because being accused of gang rape is not that big a deal. I know because I have the proper perspective, just ask me.
Anita Busched (e7577d) — 7/9/2011 @ 1:13 amHi, Neal!
Anita Busch (a025dd) — 7/9/2011 @ 5:42 amOur country is going to HeQQ in a handbasket when this sockpuppet edition starts to make more sense than what spews out of Obuma’s mouth.
Average White Person (ef780c) — 7/9/2011 @ 8:13 amWhen we ban your incandescent light bulbs, we are taking away a choice that continues to let people waste their own money. Why would the federal government let people waste their money?
If they want more pleasant light than CFLs, and are willing to pay for it, so what? I say they shouldn’t be allowed to do that.
I hope to take away all choices that let people do anything I think is inefficient! Why let people put ice in their water? The government should take away the choice to waste their money on pleasant beverages! Why let people drive over 55 mph? Why let people eat meat?
I love my job!
Energy Secretary and practiced imbecile Chu (b7410e) — 7/9/2011 @ 7:52 pmNumber 28:
What are capital
cities of states fitty one
thru fitty seven?
– Colonel Haiku
Washington D.C., San Juan, St, Thomas, Pago Pago, Saipan and Alexandria, Virginia.
Sammy Finkelman (d3de3a) — 7/10/2011 @ 2:29 pm