Patterico's Pontifications

It seems that our host has learned the value of the late Friday news dump!

Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States (bd7e62) — 11/26/2010 @ 7:16 pm

Hey, hubby, you got in the very first comment, which is as it should be, since you are the Number Onest person in the whole US of A.!

Michelle Obama (bd7e62) — 11/26/2010 @ 7:18 pm

Well, hey, I should have gotten in the second comment, then!

Joe Biden (bd7e62) — 11/26/2010 @ 7:18 pm

Enjoy it while you can, sucker, ’cause I’m taking that number one slot away from you in two years! I can see the White House from my house!

Sarah Palin (bd7e62) — 11/26/2010 @ 7:20 pm

Bitch, there won’t be a United States for you to become President of come 2012.

Kim Jong-il (bd7e62) — 11/26/2010 @ 7:22 pm

Anybody see my dunk today?

Split my lip on the damn rim!

Barack (df87cd) — 11/26/2010 @ 7:39 pm

and there’s absolutely no truth to the rumor that Michelle decked me.

O (9d1bb3) — 11/26/2010 @ 7:43 pm

Is there some kind of rule that if you’re a statist lesbian, you must be named Janet?

janet napolitano (db4a41) — 11/26/2010 @ 8:19 pm

Ouch! The Hammer has been nailed.

Tom DeLay (9d1bb3) — 11/26/2010 @ 9:23 pm

Is there some kind of rule that if you’re a statist lesbian, you must be named Janet?

no, why do you ask?

Hillary Clinton (fb8750) — 11/26/2010 @ 10:51 pm

sorry dad, i didn’t mean to hit you but could you please stop crying so i can go to sleep?

Malia Obama (fb8750) — 11/26/2010 @ 10:53 pm

Well, I guess we’ve got a lock on this game. One more half to play, and we’re in line for the BCS championship game

Nick Saban at halftime (b7507f) — 11/26/2010 @ 10:56 pm

Yeah…don’t bother sending an invitation to team reunions……

Boise State kicker (ed7a50) — 11/27/2010 @ 12:13 am

Penguin love is the best!

h-f (cbc068) — 11/27/2010 @ 3:28 am

Just a minute, beyotches! Everyone knows that I’M the number one slot here.

Lindsay Lohan (cbc068) — 11/27/2010 @ 3:31 am

It’s been sooo long since anyone inserted something into my slot!

Gloria, whose comments make our faces all red (cbc068) — 11/27/2010 @ 3:34 am

LiLo, your next to last word should have a “u” and not an “o” in it.

Britney (bd7e62) — 11/27/2010 @ 4:38 am

Yeah, what she said!

Samantha Ronson (bd7e62) — 11/27/2010 @ 4:39 am

It is still Friday, isn’t it?

Stopped clock (bd7e62) — 11/27/2010 @ 4:46 am

At no time should anything less than exhalting praises by this blog be construed as anything other than exhaulting praises of her royal majesty.

We the management regret any inconvienences that this may have caused

Patterico (73bef6) — 11/27/2010 @ 5:39 am

That self-made politician, millionaire, and celebrity Sarah Palin sure is a moron. Best she stay in Alaska with the other morons and let Jeb runt he country.

Babs Bush (a8a9b2) — 11/27/2010 @ 6:18 am

Former First Lady Barbara Bush wrote:

let Jeb runt he country.

I would have to wash my admittedly tiny brain out with acid.

Oliver Willis (bd7e62) — 11/27/2010 @ 7:15 am

Former First Lady Barbara Bush wrote:

let Jeb runt he country.

What the @#$% kind of stupid @#$%ing idea is that from that old bag who spat out the worst @#$%ing ^&*hole to ever be selected President by the !@# )(*^(=)ed Supreme Court?

Amanda Marcotte (bd7e62) — 11/27/2010 @ 7:17 am

Having my mouth permanently affixed to the President’s ballz makes it difficult to shovel lard into my piehole. But I manage.

Oliver Willis (85b089) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:05 am

Palin calling people stupid is just stupid, and I know stupid, as I am the stupiderest one around. Except for EPWJ.

the chimperor/lovie (b98cae) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:07 am

Brad Freidman is a good and honorable man committed to fairness in voting and would never associate with convicted drug smugglers and bombers and perjurers and DeLay and you freakin wingnutz are loco muy loco.

Chris Hooten (b98cae) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:10 am

Sarah is the smartest most beautiful accomplished experienced person EVAH and her compelling life story and accomplishments and popularity make her the perfect person to destroy Barack Obama in the 2012 elections, and any criticism of her shows that you do not care about conservative values and are probably a sexist RINO establishment person who does not have our country’s best interests at heart.

Generic Palin Fan (85b089) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:17 am

We still deserve to be national champions! We try hard! It doesn’t matter if we lose to crappy teams like Nevada. Barack Obama wants to give oppressed teams like us socialism, right? Just corporate fat cats from bcs conferences like the big 10 and sec are racist to us. Or something.

Boise State Coach (4219b5) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:21 am

That stupid trollop is not qualified to lead a Girl Scout troop and is so stupid she had to pay for her own college because she couldn’t even get a scholarship to Moosejaw Junior College and she has no gravitas and did I mention she is stupid and a bad mother for raising tramps? Oh, and the stupid one has been living rent free in my head since she was nominated for VP. Squatting is a federal offense. And the audacity of this bimbo to write a book, as if. Bitch doesn’t even know north from south and has never learned basic geography, just ask vor. And she is patently unserious, because she answers questions in different ways than other politicians. And she is a quitter. Take that, stupid people.

Generic Palin Hater (306f5d) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:22 am

I suck. Big time.

Boise kicker (306f5d) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:24 am

Like Jenna Jameson at a gang bang.

Boise kicker (b98cae) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:26 am

中国比美国很好的多。barack obama很傻B。美国政府花花费，没有钱。美国的经济共产。我们资本家。我的朋友北韩要枪飞弹到旧金山，哈哈。

Hu jintao (4219b5) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:29 am

I may be the best player in college football, but that Bush fellow screwed up my Heisman chances. No way will the voters pick someone that will win up in trouble again. Plus, I am basically not a good person.

Cam Newton (306f5d) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:29 am

Damn if this whole damn series of blogposts at the Patterico dudes blog doesn’t make my job harder to come up with something cute and memorable.

Saturday (4a1023) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:32 am

Due to excessive ~~whining~~ consumer complaints about Happyfeets use of less than complimentary remarks regarding her exhalted majestic enlightenment, the following punishment schedule is in effect for any derogatory comments of the ~~mayor governor celebrity media star millionaire~~multi-millionare woman from Wasilla:

Calling her stupid: no waffles

Calling her a skank: Martha White week old cupcakes with Kroger brand frosting from a jar

Calling her a self aggrandizing, ruthless promoter and manipulator of the most ~~stupid~~ vulnerable Americans for cold cash: forced to eat Chicken McNuggets, dry no sauce after one hour left under the heat lamps

The Managment (73bef6) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:35 am

You are all disgusting vermin and pale in comparison to my grand exalted morality and intelligence.

Christoph (306f5d) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:40 am

I did not mean Breitbart would be indicted, I meant DeLay would. If you fools would have listened to me we would have Scozzafava, and Castle, and Meercowskee in office, but you are all fake conservatives who are too cowardly to go to the FBI with you slanderous claims of corruption.

EricPWJohnson (306f5d) — 11/27/2010 @ 8:46 am

___________________________________________

We have more to fear from rogue parts of America like racist, bigoted Arizona and violators of copyright laws (who are hurting our wonderful Hollywood and it beautiful celebrities!) than anyone or anything else!

TheHill.com:

The investigative arm of the Homeland Security Department appears to be shutting down websites that facilitate copyright infringement.

Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) has seized dozens of domain names over the past few days, according to TorrentFreak.

Barack Obama (411533) — 11/27/2010 @ 9:01 am

I Pledge allegience to the Woman from the great state of Alaska, and to the cult, upon which she enriches, one movement, under management, with fanactics, and though control for all

Now get this emblazoned on a quilt at K-mart for 49.99 (ten easy payments) and we’ll throw in even more taxes and spending and job losses for Alaskans

Palination (73bef6) — 11/27/2010 @ 9:20 am

Sherrley sherrod is racist.

Andrew breitbart (4219b5) — 11/27/2010 @ 9:22 am

I have a problem with history books saying that during the American Revolution we were at war with the British. We were not. We were at war with the British army.

Whoopi Goldberg (0692b1) — 11/27/2010 @ 9:32 am

Similarly, we didn’t fight the Germans in the World Wars – we fought the German armies.

We need nuance and precision to avoid hatred and intolerance to flourish.

On the other hand, Timothy McVeigh and Scott Roeder were definetely and irrevocably White Christians.

Whoopi Goldberg (0692b1) — 11/27/2010 @ 9:36 am

I can’t believe my daughter is saying such nasty things and I really can’t believe I named this child “Whoopi” Where did I go wrong?

Whoppi Goldberg's Mother (4a1023) — 11/27/2010 @ 10:10 am

I think I am better than people that like Palin, or that have the gall to shop at Kmart.

EricPWJohnson (6e25b4) — 11/27/2010 @ 10:13 am

Liberals will no longer eat halibut after watching the Club Show.
Good.
More for us.

whoever (6713b4) — 11/27/2010 @ 10:26 am

Thank you very much, Boise State Coach.

TCU Fan (d43dcd) — 11/27/2010 @ 12:37 pm

Comments heard within the Vatican in the wake of the condom decision:
— That’s not a Communion wafer, you idiot. It’s a Magnum!
— No more ‘altaring’ young boys with your demon seed!
— God hates fags, but now he loves straights that have AIDS.
— People with every other form of STD are still s*** out of luck. Oh well . . . sucks to be you!
— Now you know what that white pointy hat really represents.
— Go forth and DON’T multiply.
— Thy rod and thy staff . . . and thy protective sheath.
— Protect your ‘St. Peter’.

Pope Benedict the Arnold (cbc068) — 11/27/2010 @ 1:14 pm

Well, see, what happened was . . . me and happyfeet met at a Irrational Fear & Hatred of Palin support group, and it was — kismet!

The Emperor (cbc068) — 11/27/2010 @ 1:41 pm

@48. not sure thats exactly how it happened…

The Real Emperor (da2cf6) — 11/27/2010 @ 1:56 pm

When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.

ajb (6e25b4) — 11/27/2010 @ 2:14 pm

Listen everyone,

I am under attack yet again and need all those mama grizzlies and their 4xlt’s to put the chicken wings down and tune into my latest special – Trolling for Treasure a Sarah Palin experience. I need your help in my fight to keep America free and freedom comes at a cost – with that, please, please, please support me by purchasing at least 29.99 worth of stuff from by vetted vendors.

Remember, I’m in this fight your you, all by myself, there’s me, and there is everyone else! only I (between my photo shoots, green room pampering, cameo’s, public appearances, book signings, attending TV productions featuring my all american children, investment counselor sessions [you wouldnt believe the tax shelters for millionaires] and building the brand name) have ther pulse of the American people, the you and me.

Palination (73bef6) — 11/27/2010 @ 5:30 pm

Madam Guinan wrote:

Similarly, we didn’t fight the Germans in the World Wars – we fought the German armies.

How ’bout that? I never knew that I was in the Wehrmacht!

A German boy from Dresden who was five years old in 1945 (bd7e62) — 11/27/2010 @ 5:33 pm

I hate Palin. Hate her.

EricPWJohnson (eb5afc) — 11/27/2010 @ 5:34 pm

How much longer is it going to be Friday?

The calendar (bd7e62) — 11/27/2010 @ 5:35 pm

你们这些人只是普通螺母我们没有埋葬你我们将用自己的钱购买你

Hu Jintao (bd7e62) — 11/27/2010 @ 5:41 pm

죽음은 하늘에서 떨어지 덕분에 우리의 친애하는 지도자

Kim Jong-il (bd7e62) — 11/27/2010 @ 5:45 pm

It will be Friday as long as I say it will be, because I am Teh Won.

President Barack Obama (9d1bb3) — 11/27/2010 @ 6:48 pm

I am a small, literally small, pathetic cowardly, racist, skin flute playing pig ignert sock puppeteer.

William Yelverton (eb5afc) — 11/27/2010 @ 6:57 pm

Even I’M embarrassed by my pathetic attempt to sock-puppet at #51.

EricPWJohnson (a8367b) — 11/28/2010 @ 3:04 am

Mark Levin’s a$$ tastes just fine, thank you very much.

gary gulrud (a8367b) — 11/28/2010 @ 3:07 am

Dear adoring mindless fans,

Look at me! I am fighting for you! Shopping is just one more way you can SEND A MESSAGE to those establishment Republicans and godless liberals with my third book entitled “WHY DONT YOU BUY MORE SARAH PALIN BOOKS”.

My Fourth Book is coming out entitled “HOW MUCH SHOULD I CHARGE FOR MY FIFTH BOOK”

Unfortunately, due to a disagreement over what construes ratings, my show is being strategically moved to pay per view, and who knows, maybe an entire PALINTIME Network!

Gosh! Think of the possibilities!

Why I might even wear some tight fitting sweaters and tote a shotgun or even can we say SCUBA!

These episodes are in the planning stages but if you subscribe early under the codename MOMANEEDSATIFFANY6CARAT for the patriotic price of 69.99 – you are guarenteed to be the first people in your grizzly den to see me snorkle.

Wow! Take that Katie!

Palination (73bef6) — 11/28/2010 @ 5:22 am

I thought I was so clever, putting her through that 6 hour marathon, splicing the whole thing together, I showed that snowbilly, Lara what are you doing here. . .

kATIE COURIC (9d0688) — 11/28/2010 @ 5:27 am

But not too embarrassed to try (and fail) again at #61.

EricPWJohnson (a8367b) — 11/28/2010 @ 5:55 am

You’ve proven, you’re beyond shame, my tocayo

kATIE COURIC (9d0688) — 11/28/2010 @ 6:05 am

Hey, did you hear? Katie’s coming out to visit us!

The Great Unwashed (a8367b) — 11/28/2010 @ 6:09 am

Capitalism makes me wanna puke!
That’s why I spend as much time as possible living in a country where all of the money I spend goes into the coffers of a family dictatorship.

Epwedge (a8367b) — 11/28/2010 @ 6:15 am

11/26/2010

Sockpuppet Friday

66 Responses to “Sockpuppet Friday”

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