Patterico's Pontifications

4/1/2006

One of My Favorite Punch Lines

Filed under: General,Humor — Patterico @ 12:02 am



Punch lines can be fun, and funny, all by themselves. People who heard the joke are quickly reminded of the humor — and people who haven’t, get to guess what the joke was that led to the punch line.

Here is the punch line to one of my favorite jokes:

“No, you don’t understand. ‘Chunks’ is my dog.”

Feel free to put your favorite punch lines in the comments.

64 Responses to “One of My Favorite Punch Lines”

  1. Block that kick! Block that kick!

    See Dubya (921613)

  2. My all-time favorite punchline:

    Rectum? It damn near killed ’em!

    Anyone know this joke?

    JVW (d667c9)

  3. But Doc, I don’t get up until 9 o’clock.

    Bill Maron (ee2ae1)

  4. You and your damn Bran Muffins! We coulda been here 20 years ago!

    paul (464e99)

  5. “Oh my God, it’s my husband! Quick, hide in inside this chest.”

    nk (2ab789)

  6. I don’t know who the twins are but the guy in the middle is Willie Nelson. H/T to Imus in the Morning.

    Lonetown (7a5098)

  7. “Makes no nevermind, Pardner, jus’ gonna be me and you”

    RLS (0516f0)

  8. And he turned into a woman.

    hymnia (d53087)

  9. jvw I was going to use that punch line!

    Dayna (3166cf)

  10. Walk him, and pitch to the rhino.

    See Dubya (921613)

  11. “Potatoes”
    (hint: blonde hiding in sack, from sheriff)

    Retired Geezer (f99719)

  12. No, Padre, it’s not a miracle, just a matter of professional curtesy.

    Black Jack (d8da01)

  13. “That is Jesus Christ. He thinks he’s Jack Nicklaus.”

    CraigC (8e5f52)

  14. I think you misunderstood, mon Colonel. The men use the camel to ride into town.

    Roy Lofquist (a01fed)

  15. I thought you said your dog does not bite.

    Is not my dog.

    Harry Arthur (b318a5)

  16. “Shut up refrigerator!”

    Polybius (e56744)

  17. “Naw, that’s all right. You can keep the duck.”

    Bobby (194852)

  18. “Because if they dragged ’em around by their ankles, they’d fill up with dirt.”

    CraigC (8e5f52)

  19. Are you crazy? That dog would bite you!

    DanH (426919)

  20. “That’d be the butt, Bob.”

    Peg C. (5907f4)

  21. “You’re not really out here for the hunting, are you?”

    I’ve never met a bear joke that didn’t make me laugh.

    Capt Nemo (808b29)

  22. “I don’t know; I never looked.”

    David (d09108)

  23. Peg C.–That one really happened!

    See Dubya (3fb86e)

  24. Walk out? Hell, help me find my keys and we’ll drive out!

    Twenty Patterico Bucks to anyone knowing this joke.

    Dr. Deano (7f152b)

  25. With a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

    Andrew (08ba2c)

  26. “Got any grapes?”

    Joel B. (568776)

  27. Death–by BOOYA!

    See Dubya (3fb86e)

  28. I know #25, but I don’t think we can tell it here….

    CraigC (8e5f52)

  29. “So one of the engineers walked up to the bathroom where the scientists were hiding, knocks, and says ‘Ticket Please!'”

    s/scientists/mathematicians/ as needed.

    Al (2e2489)

  30. “Oh, you’re gonna hate Thursdays”

    West Coast Minority (51c752)

  31. “That’s cuz we ain’t played cowboys an’ Arabs yet.”

    paul (464e99)

  32. Yeah, but how do it know?

    JM Hanes (98d201)

  33. “just a victim of being in Congress while black”

    Best laugh all week

    Ray Simpson (75a3b5)

  34. “Just put it on my bill.”

    “But you don’t understand! I get ‘it’ [this is a family website, right?] twice a year and I fall down twice a day!”

    Andy (6feefb)

  35. “Nah, that’s just frost on my beard.”

    jinnmabe (7da6d1)

  36. #29 Craigc – You are probably right. I wouldn’t want to see it in print anywhere near this blog. And for recognizing a joke I haven’t heard repeated in over 30 years the 25 Patterico Bucks go to you. Don’t spend them all in one place.

    BTW: Does your version include the use of a two by four for safety purposes?

    Dr. Deano (7f152b)

  37. See-Dubya:

    Peg C.–That one really happened!

    Indeed it did, but it’s a prime example of why no one should rely too heavily on any one source for debunking urban legends – at least, not if that one source happens to be Snopes. Had you linked to the same URL a day or two before the last update, you’d have found a cock-sure “proof” that the incident didn’t happen.

    Xrlq (5938d1)

  38. “Maybe if you pet him real nice, he’ll let you.”

    RLS (0516f0)

  39. Iceberg, Goldberg, what’s the difference?

    Black Jack (d8da01)

  40. Haaaaaaaa, RLS. Damn, how could I forget that? That’s one of my favorite jokes.

    Dr. Deano, yes, of course the 2X4 is in there. Well, not in there, but…..

    What are Patterico bucks?

    CraigC (8e5f52)

  41. Just for you, RLS:

    “Because he can.”

    CraigC (8e5f52)

  42. #31: If I’m not mistaken, “Oh, you’ll hate Thursdays” isn’t the punchline, it’s two lines before the punchline, is it not?

    “So the girl comes home from her honeymoon, and her parents say, ‘Delilah, hat gut gemacht?'”

    Voice of Reason (d427f3)

  43. “Do you really believe I would’ve wished for a 12-inch pianist?”

    McGehee (5664e1)

  44. Dammit, I told you no singing!

    Gaius Arbo (26dfcd)

  45. **must be said with a Scottish brogue**

    Damned if I don’t know where you’ve been, or what you’ve been doin’…but it looks like you won first prize.

    Darleen (f20213)

  46. For some reason, I have golf jokes on the brain.

    “Oh, hell, no. She’s left-handed.”

    “Don’t do it. I tried it and took an eight!”

    “Hit the ball, drag Harry. Hit the ball, drag Harry.”

    CraigC (8e5f52)

  47. Voice of Reason, it is “Man, you’re gonna hate Fridays,” but does it really matter? Also one of my favorite jokes.

    CraigC (8e5f52)

  48. “Yes, plactically evely day.”

    Xrlq (576284)

  49. Damn! Then some asshole’s got my pencil!

    Psyberian (dd13d6)

  50. “calm down, your too tense”

    Comment to 42:
    That’s my favorite dog joke.

    Benster (e467ec)

  51. “Iceberg, Greenberg, Goldberg, ther’re all the same.”

    auspatriotman (88b1e3)

  52. “Pierre eez zee greatest fighter pi-lot in zee French Resis-tanzh. Eef he eez going to go down, he eez going to go down in FLAMES!”

    Omnibus Driver (763c83)

  53. “I almost said something when Mabel fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.”

    “Chili and ice tea.”

    Harry Arthur (40c0a6)

  54. Now the real question is how many of these jokes can you tell in the presence of your kids, wife (or significant other), your mother or your minister.

    I’m thinking the list shrinks some …?

    :-)

    Harry Arthur (40c0a6)

  55. A dislexic walks into a bra.

    punslinger (ba56cc)

  56. Well, at these prices, I’m not surprised.

    Black Jack (d8da01)

  57. But think of the money I save.

    punslinger (ba56cc)

  58. You’re Thor? I can’t even pith!

    punslinger (ba56cc)

  59. You should be here in the morning when he’s making donuts!

    punslinger (ba56cc)

  60. “It looked so good, I had to eat it myself”

    RLS (0516f0)

  61. Yeah, but that damn calf over there is an orphan.

    Alan Kellogg (6a4acc)

  62. Okay, I’ll keep an eye out for you.

    punslinger (ba56cc)

  63. Arrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhh! And it’s driving me nuts!

    punslinger (ba56cc)


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