[Guest post by Aaron Worthing]
As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sock puppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself, alot.
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]
Pronounced "Patter-EE-koh"
E-mail: Just use my moniker Patterico, followed by the @ symbol, followed by gmail.com
Disclaimer: Simpsons avatar may resemble a younger Patterico...
The statements made on this web site reflect the personal opinions of the author. They are not made in any official capacity, and do not represent the opinions of the author's employer.
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First!
Some Dumb Guy (9b018a) — 10/15/2010 @ 1:54 pmObama absolutely positivity wants me to run with him in 2012 (if Hillary doesn’t want the job).
Joe Biden (04b86d) — 10/15/2010 @ 1:54 pmWhen they, uh, do a colonoscopy, they go up, uh, up, uh, where is it they go? The same place my head is, you say? Ohhhhh…..
Harry Ried (728e13) — 10/15/2010 @ 1:59 pmShe was asking for it!
Charlie Wilson (aefe1c) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:03 pmIt is! It is!
His head is SO much bigger than his skull it’s like… squirting out of his ears an’ junk!
I got some on me the other day…
J Biden (ab0a05) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:10 pmI think I might have made a mistake about something.
Barack Obama (8ec277) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:12 pmI am NOT A WITCH! I’M ONE OF YOU! ER, WAIT A MINUTE…
Christine O'Donell (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:27 pmHow do you create jobs? I was told there would be no math at this debate…
Tricky Dickie Blumenthal (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:28 pmThat was such a hilarious comment Obama made, that Biden was his best choice. He is really opening himself up with that one.
BTW, I never watch the Beck program, but I have it on this afternoon to relieve a headache. I am amazed at the sophistication of the arguments on this show. It’s really a lot better than any other editorial style Fox show (let alone the other networks).
Just the way they discussed climate change was very insightful. Anyone with a date w/ loneliness tonight is well advised to try to catch the rerun tonight (is there one?)
Dustin (b54cdc) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:28 pmI just voted. Hey, YOU THERE! VOTE FOR MY HUSBAND, D’YOU HEAR ME?!!
Michelle the Head Klingon (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:29 pmAs I’ve always said, I’ve always wanted to be Mayor of Chicago. What? You have no record of that? Watch for the dead fish wrapper on your doorstep, pal.
Rhambo (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:31 pmDON’T ASK HIM ANY QUESTIONS, WE’RE REPORTERS AND YOU’RE NOT!
Chicago MFM (aka Praetorian Guard) (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:33 pmDear concerned Republicans:
Our polling methods are above reproach and our partnership with Marshall University is purely educational in context. While we have no Republican clients, I can state that we are NOT stooges of the West Virginia Democratic party. The fact that I am in charge of a West Virginia Democrat’s House re-election campaign means absolutely nothing.
Curtis Wilkerson, Orion Strategies (ded5f2) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:33 pmBeck often does great shows. I hate his propensity to cry, but that’s just me.
Christoph (8ec277) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:35 pmHit me again! Really, I can take it! Thank you sir, may I have another?
CA Voters (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:35 pmOh, that Christine O’Donnell is a witch and I hate that dodoohead because she wants to make it illegal for me to masturbate all the time and she is a stupidhead that tells lies and is a witchy liar.
Dustin (958c81) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:36 pmKarl Rove is channeling illegal foreign contributions. I know, because we did the same thing big – time when we won.
David Axel Rose (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:37 pmMike Castle was a totally awesome politico – and you’re all going to lust wantonly for his presence when Pootey Coon wins.
Dustin (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:38 pmI was a banned Troll once, but now am reformed. Just watch.
Cristoph (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:39 pmI hate Lobster Hootchies. That is all.
feets don't fail me now (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:40 pmThis is off topic and it’s offensive that that they even tried me, but I was acquitted today. So good news as far as it goes.
Geert Wilders (8ec277) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:42 pmHi guys. I may have forgotten to remind all of you that Sharron Angle is extreme. I wasn’t sure if I included that in my notes for last night.
Be sure to catch me with my two buddies, Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd this Saturday in our three man show called “Totally Alive Guys To Admire” at Mandalay Bay. As always, the buffet is open 24 hours.
Harry Reid (D, NV) (ded5f2) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:43 pmI am a smart and well – educated college person, but I’m not a climatologist, although I like to play one when it’s convenient. What’s that? You say I have no life experience? What’s that got to do with it? I know things…
Leviticus (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:43 pmI know I may get a little wordy and verbose now and then, but it is just because I am passionate about the fact that O’Donnell should be burned at the stake for keeping me from masturbating and because she lies about all of the lies that I know she lied about. Castle might have voted for Cap and Trade, but that would cause way less damage than that uneducated spinster floozie being in the Senate where he witchy lying way would show through for all to see. She would probably cast a spell on me, and turn me into a newt.
Dustin (b88cc9) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:44 pmHarry, I’ve told you to stop doing imitations of me during televised debates. This is your last warning.
Skelator (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:45 pmShe’s a witch!
Dustin (b54cdc) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:46 pmHey, I was told there would be no Python questions during this debate.
Bearded Hairy Marxist (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:46 pmDustin, you’re allowed to sockpuppet in this thread.
Michael Hiltzik (8ec277) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:47 pmGawd, I hate those harpy broads on The View.
Bill O'Loofah (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:48 pmClimate change — to deny it exists, to just put your head in the sand and, ‘oh no, it doesn’t exist, what are you talking about,’ is about like standing on the floor of Macy’s during the month of December and claiming Santa Claus doesn’t exist.
Nick Rahall (D, WV) (ded5f2) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:49 pmThe next time you try to tell the truth on my show, I’m going to hold my breath till I turn blue, and when no one in the audience tries to revive me, I’ll expect someone to perform an anal rape – rape immediately. No, not you, Behar.
Whoopee Cushion (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:50 pm(Actual Dustin here).
No, I think O’Donnell would be a better Senator than Castle would. My argument was that she can’t win. I admit I’m eating crow on the margin she would lose by, given the most recent poll.
Spinster Floozie is a hilarious expression. Someone has been paying good attention to my whining, I see.
Dustin (b54cdc) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:52 pmNick, what did I tell you? They’re all scientific illiterates here, and I know something about scientific illiteracy. Just ask me, I know things…
Leviticus (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:53 pmI knew the builders of the Erie Canal – and you Tea Partiers, you’re no Builders of the Erie Canal.
Steny Hoyer (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:55 pmIf this keeps up, I’m going to put my copy of Winnie the Pooh in storage.
Allahpundit (8ec277) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:55 pmI was told there would be no science during this debate. Is Thomas Dolby in the house?
Nancy Botox (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:56 pmIf you all don’t shut it right now, I’m going to ban the whole lot of you – again.
Charles Ponytail Biker Dude (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:57 pmTo be clear, I don’t hate her innards because she is a teapartier or because she is a woman but because she is a lying witch that lies and probably masturbates while she is lying and 25% of woman loathe her like I do. I love all God’s creatures that worship the truth, but she once worshipped the Dark Lord and she lies, therefore, me and 25% of Delaware women hate her.
Dustin (b88cc9) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:58 pmI did not beat my wife, her face just got in the way of my fist.
Charlie Wilsonian (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 2:59 pmIf you really want to know, my poster ID is really a kind of homage to Fabio.
Christoph (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 3:00 pmPerhaps I didn’t actually know the meaning of shovel-ready because I never used one in my life. But it sounded good and fooled lots of people.
Barack H. Obama (9d1bb3) — 10/15/2010 @ 3:01 pmWell, I put his head on my body ’cause he’s got such a great smile.
To the last commenter (8ec277) — 10/15/2010 @ 3:01 pmWait, did someone just call me the “n” word again? They did, they did, I tell you!
John Lewis (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 3:01 pmBarack, get back in the house, you’re scaring the dog.
Michelle the Head Klingon (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 3:02 pmOur country’s in the proverbial shitter, and I’ve never been prouder. Now eat your goddamn vegetables while I scarf down this triple cheeseburger.
Michelle the Head Klingon (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 3:04 pmDid someone just bogart my cigarette?
Obambi (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 3:04 pmIf you don’t like O’donnell, it’s probably because she’s a woman or a Tea Partier.
Tea Partiers never care about ethics because they are an extraneous issue.
And I don’t know how to read polls and think 25% of women dislike O’Donnell when it really said 75% did.
If you don’t agree, you are a jackass.
O'Donnell Defense Force (b54cdc) — 10/15/2010 @ 3:08 pmWatch me destroy the Beck rally with my gathering of humor – impaired Trolldom. Barring that, you can watch me mug endlessly for the camera after every farking lame – ass joke I and my Ivy League prebubescent writers can think of.
John "Clown Nose Off" Stewat (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 3:08 pmIn case anyone’s wondering, I really sucked while I tried to get my start at Second City in Chicago. In fact, I never even got onto the main stage – thank you, Mr. Clown – Nose – On Stewie!
Steve Colbert (84da91) — 10/15/2010 @ 3:10 pmI’ll have a Double-Double, animal style, and a double order of cheese fries, and a Neopolitan shake… and could you hurry up on that, I have to make an appearance about eating salads to fight childhood obesity…
Michelle Obama (1db6c5) — 10/15/2010 @ 3:46 pmMeg is a whore and Christine is a whacko, and you should vote for the white men in those contests.
Amanda Marcotte (bd7e62) — 10/15/2010 @ 3:59 pmShe was asking for it!
Ben Roethlesberger (ed7a50) — 10/15/2010 @ 4:11 pm“Look at the boobs on that babe!”
Barney Frank (848837) — 10/15/2010 @ 4:12 pmBarney Frank, you give me a bone-er.
Achmed the dead terrorist (848837) — 10/15/2010 @ 4:16 pmPlease rise for the San Antonio National Anthem.
Tejana Susana (fb8750) — 10/15/2010 @ 4:21 pmI really do not understand why everyone doesn’t hate O’Donnell as much as I do.
Dustin (d9926c) — 10/15/2010 @ 4:49 pmOkay, one the next one to say “whore” is done!
Oops…
Okay, but she had her fingers crossed.
One more, then.
This time I mean it. And I’m not kidding.
NOW President (9b018a) — 10/15/2010 @ 4:59 pmHey, cool blog. You guys have any idea on how to run a gubernatorial campaign?
And what’s a “guber”?
Meg Whitman (9b018a) — 10/15/2010 @ 5:03 pmI resent that anyone would believe I was lobbying people to vote for my beloved Democratic Party and its leader — my husband — at a polling place in Chicago today. It was just some guy asking me if I could do an impersonation of a Klingon, and I didn’t want to disappoint him.
Michelle Obama (411533) — 10/15/2010 @ 5:43 pmHow dare he try to take my seat! Daddy gave it to ME!
Lisa Murkowski (ed7a50) — 10/15/2010 @ 6:14 pmAnd proper nutrition is very important….
Michelle Obama (8eb9dc) — 10/15/2010 @ 6:28 pmBTW, this cheeseburger and fries are scrumptious.
Then you sprinkle the chicken liberally with “Old Spice.”
Franklin Sherman (7130c5) — 10/15/2010 @ 7:00 pmYou guys inspire me!
Byron Williams (ae99e7) — 10/15/2010 @ 7:09 pmdestroy our country
ColonelHaiku (1606f6) — 10/15/2010 @ 7:15 pmdestroy the private sector
you are out this Fall
Anyone who says I don’t have fashion sense is just jealous. Robin Givhan seconds that.
Michelle R. Obama (9d1bb3) — 10/15/2010 @ 7:16 pmYou think Michelle likes cheesburgers and fries? Heh – just watch me do my stuff. She won’t be anywhere NEAR a polling place on Election Day.
http://hotair.com/headlines/archives/2010/10/15/its-back-and-its-everywhere/
The McRib Sandwich, coming to a Mickey D's near you on Nov 2 (325a59) — 10/15/2010 @ 7:18 pmYou have libelled me. I’m suing. Give me your full name and home address now. The make, model, and license plate of your car would be nice too.
Brett Kimberlin (2af26a) — 10/15/2010 @ 7:29 pmOh, and do you have any teenage female relatives?
@#57- Swing by our mess tent this weekend, Meg. It’s Sauerbraten Saturdays between blitzkriegs during Octoberfest. The beer on tap- Beck’s, of course. Dress casual. Gray works.
Rich Iott (9d1bb3) — 10/15/2010 @ 8:18 pmSo I’m addicted to tanning booths. So what.
Charlie Crist (9d1bb3) — 10/15/2010 @ 8:22 pmYou are all uneducated bitter clingers,stupid tribalists,scotum suckers racists and violent types that wear sheets plus you ought to thank me for pointing out a few of your many flaws.
obama (b89258) — 10/15/2010 @ 10:53 pmYou light up my life.
Debby Boone (f86d61) — 10/16/2010 @ 12:19 amNo, never talk to the Clooney side of the family anymore. George was always an embarrassment.
Deb (f86d61) — 10/16/2010 @ 12:29 amI’m a Friend of Maurice Hinchey.
The Deficit (882387) — 10/16/2010 @ 3:10 amJust like I’m a Friend of Phil Hare.
The Constitution (882387) — 10/16/2010 @ 3:10 amHey, don’t forget us, we’re Friends of Nancy Pelosi.
Lifetime Supply of Botox Injections (882387) — 10/16/2010 @ 3:12 am