Patterico's Pontifications


Possible ‘Cow Tipping’ Victim Takes Revenge on Innocent Biker

Filed under: Miscellaneous — DRJ @ 8:59 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]

From today’s Denver Post:

“A woman has escaped serious injury and has refused medical treatment after a cow knocked the woman down and walked on her legs in Boulder. Boulder Open Space and Mountain Parks ranger Pete Taylor says the woman was riding her bicycle along the South Boulder Creek Trail on Monday when she encountered the cow and stopped to let the animal cross.

Instead, the cow knocked the woman over and stepped on her legs.

Taylor says the woman wasn’t seriously hurt. Her name was not released. “

A Bike Alliance official described the incident as “odd, rare and random.”


26 Responses to “Possible ‘Cow Tipping’ Victim Takes Revenge on Innocent Biker”

  1. Cow Tipper, episode 5, The Cow Strikes Back

    John Hitchcock (fb941d)

  2. Udderly ridiculous.

    daleyrocks (5d22c0)

  3. Way to milk it for all its worth, daley.

    John Hitchcock (fb941d)

  4. Where’s the beef? This story is all sizzle and no steak.

    Apogee (f4320c)

  5. Are you sure it wasn’t a unicorn? After all, you know what today is.

    Patricia (89cb84)

  6. I thought that all unicorns could be seen shitting rainbows today.

    JD (48009d)

  7. Patricia, you’re being insensitive. After all, what is a unicorn but a cow that had an unfortunate experience?

    John Hitchcock (fb941d)

  8. I think Hunter S. Thompson’s advice for dealing with this was along the lines of that stopping was a huge mistake and the best thing was to stomp on the gas and give the buggers a taste of the chrome.
    Hard to do if you are a Patagonia wearing vegan, but Thompson’s other advice about laying on the horn and chasing the dumb brutes for miles springs to mind… or you can stop in front of a 1000lbs idiot beast with your feet clipped into a bicycle and wish for the best.

    SteveG (1e9402)

  9. So if you’re biking and you see a cow, keep mooving.

    Adriane (6cae82)

  10. Cows Gone Wild – I blame global warming.

    Perfect Sense (9d1b08)

  11. Must’ve been a California Cow escaping the high taxes.

    John Hitchcock (fb941d)

  12. “…and I don’t care what anybody says, those cows look pretty scary to me.”

    Colin Powell at Bush’s ranch in Crawford, Texas, 2000

    backwoods conservative (28e0cc)

  13. The lady thought the cow would walk around her? Sigh.

    A lady is driving in the country and she stops by a farm. She sees the farmer walking fence and asks him, “Why doesn’t that cow have any horns?” He says, “Well, ma’am, some cows never have horns. Other cows don’t have horns until they reach age two. Others until they’ve birthed. Others, still, have horns when they’re young but they drop off later. But the reason that cow does not have horns is because it’s a horse.”

    nk (bbe952)

  14. Over here they’d hire Mexican kids who grew up on a ranch in a family with 8 sons to the haze the things off the trails.
    Of course some cattle would go missing; blamed on “un jaguar” or “leon de montana” and the kids would seem to BBQ an alot, but at least no daft hippies would get mauled by a cow

    SteveG (a87dae)

  15. Sorry, but this story makes no sense. I’ve never seen a cow do ANYTHING that could be considered aggressive, and they’re so picky about where they step you can keep them in with nothing more than a grate. I can’t see one of them walking over a person and her bike.

    Bulls, on the other hand…

    Rob Crawford (04f50f)

  16. Since the story lists no party affiliation for the cow, it must be a Democrat…

    PatHMV (653160)

  17. Her next step is to sue the park to eliminate all cows. That’s why the buffalo are almost all gone from Catalina Island. An idiot women walked up to a buffalo to have her husband take her picture with it. It butted her and she sued. A year later, the buffalo were rounded up and shipped to Montana.

    There should be special parks for fools.

    Mike K (2cf494)

  18. There is – it’s called The District of Columbia.

    Dmac (eb0dd0)

  19. Because we have TV commercials about how cute they are, people forget that cows are large powerful animals and can do damage.

    Boulder’s population characteristics of course may also be a factor …

    SPQR (72771e)

  20. Remember that Boulder is infamous for restricting all hunting of mountain lions over the past four decades, resulting in an influx of predators who have no natural fear of mankind, and have subsequently killed, maimed and in general terrorized the public who ventures unwarily in the forested areas.

    Dmac (eb0dd0)

  21. “When I was younger
    “I used to tip cows for fun, yeah
    “Actually, I didn’t do that
    “‘Cause I didn’t want the cow to be mad…”

    Rich Fader (295108)

  22. Sign on a pasture fence: Do not cross this fence unless you can do the 100 yard dash in 8.9 seconds. The bull can do it 9 flat.

    backwoods conservative (28e0cc)

  23. What?!

    No RAPE charge?

    TC (0b9ca4)

  24. Perhaps she was insensitive to the cowturual differences between them?

    ras (20bd5b)

  25. cows are so dumb (and their eyesight isn’t all that great) that most of the time all you have to is paint the road like a grate.

    Nothing is better than a big juicy burger… breakfast of champions.

    SteveG (a87dae)

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