Patterico's Pontifications

11/23/2015

Vox Helps You Respond to Your Relatives at Thanksgiving

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 7:42 am



The helpful Voxsplainers at Vox.com have this wonderful resource that helps young, sophisticated progressives address the backwards yammering of their relatives at Thanksgiving:

Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 7.20.05 AM

Thoroughly researched and immaculately proofread, the resource gives you powerful arguments to counter (for example) foolish things said by “you niece” about Syrian refugees:

Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 7.20.58 AM

What naturally occurs to most people reading this is: how do I survive a young punk at my Thanksgiving table quoting Vox’s “How to Survive Your Family’s Thanksgiving Arguments”? I can’t help you there . . . or can I? The article on Bernie Sanders suggests that, in response to your cousin who says “Bernie Sanders doesn’t care about black people,” Vox readers should respond as follows:

Realistically, the correct response to this debate is to stand up, exit the room, go out the front door, drive to an airstrip, rent a small propeller plane, fly to the nearest mountain range, parachute over the highest cliff, and build a new life for yourself up there in the snow.

So: repeat after me: “Bernie Sanders doesn’t care about black people.”

It might help to have pre-printed directions to the nearest airstrip handy.

19 Responses to “Vox Helps You Respond to Your Relatives at Thanksgiving”

  1. Ding.

    Patterico (86c8ed)

  2. I would respond to them the same way I respond to people who have this type of opinion anywhere. “They would not be successful without useful idiots like you.”

    Jim (a9b7c7)

  3. and build a new life for yourself up there in the snow.

    Pfft.

    The better, more telling, more serious reaction would be to move to a city like Detroit, Michigan, where just about all your neighbors will be as liberal or leftwing as you are.

    Live the experience, live the reality, 24/7, 365 days a year.

    Mark (f713e4)

  4. after you voxslap your niece you can enjoy the rest of the holiday knowing that after your niece is slaughtered by obama’s terrorist refugees there’ll be more pie at future thanksgivings for everyone else

    happyfeet (831175)

  5. I am fortunate not to have any people like this in my life but I may try to find some. It could be entertaining.

    DRJ (15874d)

  6. Realistically, the correct response to this debate is to stand up, exit the room, go out the front door, drive to an airstrip, rent a small propeller plane, fly to the nearest mountain range, parachute over the highest cliff, and build a new life for yourself up there in the snow.

    That would show a helluva lot more initiative than one generally ascribes to the average Bernard Sanders voter.

    JVW (d60453)

  7. I am fortunate not to have any people like this in my life but I may try to find some. It could be entertaining.

    Trust me, DRJ, it is not.

    JVW (d60453)

  8. The correct response is to print out a copy of the Vox Thanksgiving Family Resource. And then when you’re annoying relative starts to repeat the Vox response, pull it out, hand it to her, and ask her if she’s simply repeating the Vox liberal talking points.

    Then you can start to discuss the term “Voxsplain” and the dozens of lies that Voxsplaining is responsible for spreading.

    aunursa (92ec49)

  9. Or you could look at them slightly askance and ask for another slice of turkey, then say nothing. I have no idea why anyone would want to argue with their relatives at Thanksgiving or Christmas. I can assure you that those arguements will cease to matter at about the same time the relative ceases.

    Ag80 (eb6ffa)

  10. I have never been to the Vox site. (Every time I see it mentioned, I think it’s Vox Day who is something completely different.) Thanks for biting the bullet for us, Patterico … I think.

    nk (dbc370)

  11. The Voxers are the people who’d need straightening out at our dinner table

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  12. I’m watching the Charlie Sheen Roast on youtube.

    And I know it’s a script. They have their comedy bits written up. Practice their delivery in the mirror, but the undercurrent, reading between the lines, all of these people knew about Charlie’s affliction. That would have been 2011.

    It’s just the radio guy had his panties in a bunch claiming Sheen was keeping his secret, handing out death sentences to hookers.

    I don’t think so. It was more of an open secret. Secret to the public, but common knowledge in the industry.

    papertiger (c2d6da)

  13. It’s harder to find someone in Hollywood who is not HIV, hepatitis, herpes, or other STD, positive, than it is to find one that is, is my opinion.

    nk (dbc370)

  14. Winning!

    Patterico (86c8ed)

  15. We know that liberals hate holidays. Wasn’t it last year they were all being told to pump Obamacare at family gatherings? (That’s what Pajamaboy was all about). I fear the greater mission is to make holidays so unpleasant that we’ll stop having them, seeings how they’re all related to that fictitious sky-god they hate so much (unless Colbert or Pope Francis say something they like).

    Tragic Christian (813e3a)

  16. I tend to issue a demand of “No politics” when I walk in the door. I’m just too sensitive for Thanksgiving.

    DNF (ffe548)

  17. I’m luckier than you guys. The leftist member of the Hoagie family has yet to be born. My Korean wife is about as far left as we get and that’s only because she believes we all should be forced to carry health insurance and it should be paid out of your pay like Social Security.

    Rev. Barack Hussein Hoagie™ (f4eb27)

  18. nk @13: You’re spot on. They have more STD’s than brains.

    Rev. Barack Hussein Hoagie™ (f4eb27)

  19. My family is (are?) all dead, so I’m good.

    Greg (b80e5f)


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