This Is How You Punch Back
[guest post by JVW]
A crybully* student recently took to the op-ed pages of The Golden Gate Xpress, a student newspaper for San Francisco State University, to unload on the recent macro/microaggression that is burdening young feminists from achieving the academic excellence in the hermetically-sealed environment that they deserve by virtue of their valiant struggle against cis-normative masculine oppression. I of course refer to the existence of the man cave. Here is the aggrieved crybully stating her case:
While I think it’s perfectly acceptable, and even healthy, to have separate spaces where one can enjoy time alone, the gendered language around “man cave” is pretty gross. It takes a passive dig at femininity. It’s as if women are such burden that they’re restricted from that zone, while still expected to readily share all other spaces.
A man cave is essentially an emotional sanctuary for men to escape their responsibilities without the interruption of women or children. It’s as if these men are victimizing themselves and require refuge to revel in their false sense of masculinity.
Sports-related paraphernalia and wall hangings that deify cheap beer are not badges of manhood or some sort of homage to a working-class collective consciousness. They’re the makings of a shrine to big business that has man-cavers nostalgic for a time when they were happy, or actually just drunk, in front of a screen cheering on their favorite billion-dollar sports team with their once single and similarly childless friends.
Stupid, backward, unenlightened men. Your man cave isn’t a pleasant escape from life’s drudgeries where you can indulge in a world of tasty malted beverages and television images of finely-tuned athletes impressing us with their skill, dedication, and pluck. No, it’s just another sad example of the commodification of private time that would best be spent reading The Nation and Ms. magazines and coming to grips with how the brutish corporatism of your own father inculcated within you an attitude of willful ignorance of the needs of collective society as you pursue your own selfish ends. But back to the op-ed piece:
Guys should get over the feudalistic idea of a man cave allowing them to be the “lord of their manor” in a room they can call their own. It bears a juvenile likeness to a tree house with a sign that reads, “No girls allowed.”
The sewing room or craft room, to which a woman might retreat, is identified by the action that takes place there. By that token, a man cave is a place where a man devolves into a grunting subhuman that leaves sexist and racist comments on message boards, then furiously masturbates to free porn.
Oh brother, she’s on to us! Here’s her final paragraph, wrapping up her vapid ideas with a patronizing solution:
The progressive solution is allowing everyone to have his or her own space. In a household where that isn’t possible, the ever-so encumbered married man could actually leave his house. He could be free of his cave and take a walk, go to the gym, take a fishing trip, relieve his stress through meditation on a misty mountaintop in China. Man-cavers can be better than ruminating within their disgusting patriarchal myth.
I have left out a few paragraphs, but you get the general drift of the piece. Though one is sorely tempted to consider this a brilliant parody of mush-minded campus feminism, this screed is apparently pretty representative of the rest of the musings of this particular writer.
But the point of this post is not so much to showcase yet another young campus ideologue spouting stale moonbattery, it’s to call out and celebrate the commenter who left the absolutely perfect response to this twaddle. Behold, my friends, this is how it is done:
* I have decided that I much prefer the new term “crybully” to the previously-employed “social justice warrior.” The former provides an adequate sense of the contempt with which these youngsters should be held, while the latter has a ring to it that is almost noble. I plan to retire my use of SJW for the new term.