[guest post by JVW]

As faithful readers know, I don’t blog very often about — or even really pay too much attention to — the various messes that former (and perhaps future) President Donald Trump finds himself in. Frankly, I don’t find him to be all that interesting of a person, though I have recently come to accept him as a part, perhaps even a necessary part, of our political ecosystem, much in the same way that the dung beetle plays a role in nature’s ecosystem.

But I do confess that I have a passing fancy for the collection of flakes, frauds, sycophants, shysters, ignoramuses, ingrates, movers, and marauders that Mr. Trump seems to attract. From Mad Dog Mattis to Omirosa Manigault, there seems to be no shortage of — how shall we put it? — “colorful” personalities who somehow catch the attention of the 45th President of the United States. It takes a special sort of person who is willing to put up with a certain amount of dysfunction and abuse, and some of them have beaten the odds and proved to be very effective at their jobs. Although it helps to be slightly insane when working for a man like Donald Trump, it also turns out not to be an actual job requirement.

In any case, this brings me to the latest member of Team Trump who has stepped into the spotlight, and thank the heavens for it. Alina Habba is a 39-year-old native of New Jersey who serves as the managing partner of her own boutique law firm. No tiresome WASPy silver-spooned Ivy League nitwit* she; her background is instead rather exotic: Chaldean Catholic, the daughter of Assyrian Iraqis who emigrated to the U.S. shortly before she was born. This first-generation real live niece of her Uncle Sam received a bachelor’s degree in political science from Leigh University in Pennsylvania before matriculating to the Widener University School of Law in Delaware. According to The Heavy, she’s currently in her second marriage, this one to a fellow who owns parking garages in New Jersey. The couple have two children together and she serves as stepmother to her husband’s son from a previous marriage.

She is licensed to practice law in New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, and in front of the United States Supreme Court. Her previous clients and cases according to her firm’s website included “a federal class action suit against a New Jersey nursing home accused of various negligent acts and consumer fraud violations, including storing 17 bodies in a storage room in the early stages of the COVID pandemic.” She previously represented Donald Trump in his ongoing legal battles with his niece, Mary Trump.

But forget all of that. The reason that I have rechristened her as Alina Hubba-Hubba is because, well, just look at her! I’ll include a rather fetching screencap below, since I think that is generally acceptable use.

Yowza! How did I not notice this before? I’m pretty agnostic about the fate of Donald Trump in the New York State Supreme Court, but I am definitely going to root for Alina Hubba-Hubba, Esq., especially seeing as how she seems to enjoy needling some jurassic jurist who would be better off watching Matlock reruns and enjoying a mug of warm milk. Mean girls [T]rump old farts every time in my book.

* This should not be construed as a blanket slur on any Ivy League educated lawyers, boss.

– JVW