“Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn’t invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that.“
“You worry too much. Eat some bacon… What? No, I got no idea if it’ll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon.”
“The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain’t like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain’t spitting it out.”
“You sure do like to tailgate people… Right, because it’s real important you show up to the nothing you have to do on time.”
“Just pay the parking ticket. Don’t be so outraged. You’re not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked.”
I love this guy. As you can see, his specialty is pricking people’s sense of grandeur. Now his son Justin, who runs the Twitter feed, has gotten a TV deal:
Twitter sensation Shit My Dad Says is headed to television.
CBS has picked up a comedy project based on the Twitter account, which has enlisted more than 700,000 followers since launching in August and has made its creator, Justin Halpern, an Internet star.
“Will & Grace” creators David Kohan and Max Mutchnick are on board to executive produce and supervise the writing for the multicamera family comedy, which Halpern will co-pen with Patrick Schumacker. Halpern and Schumacker will also co-exec produce the Warner Bros. TV-produced project, which has received a script commitment.
Justin’s dad, as usual, is keeping Justin down to earth:
“Remember this: you’re just a lucky fucking guy. If people start telling you your dick looks bigger, remember that it’s not.”