So it appears that CitiGroup is next in line to benefit from planned incompetence, as they are about to receive a generous, expansive care package from Congress – to the tune of $306 Billion.
Excuse me a moment as I ask a whiny, vulgar question of Congress:
Are you dipshits fucking HIGH?????
Seriously, double-yew tee eff, mate? Considering that CitiGroup is in this pickle because of a rush to play in the morass of Bad Risk, I really, really hate this. To be fair, I hate the government giving money to pretty much any private company for anything besides services rendered – even then I think the process by which we pay contractors is highly broken – but this is even worse.
We are rewarding abject failure. And this isn’t the first time Citi has done this, either.
See, one of Citigroup’s biggest groups is CitiBank, which was – once upon a time – First National City Bank. Back in 1920s, they repackaged bad loans to Latin America and sold them as safe securities. I don’t need to tell you (I hope I don’t) what happened to these in 1929.
You’d think a company would learn, wouldn’t you. That perhaps some form of institutional memory might come forth and say, like some sort of Ghost of Christmas Past, that what has come before may yet come again. That perhaps, you know just maybe, this could be a bad idea.
But alas, non. Instead, we have a company once again acting foolishly (one might argue that they acted counter to their fiduciary duties), and everyone else paying the price. I wouldn’t mind this all nearly so much as if the people who made these decisions didn’t have some sort of background that might warn/suggest that these were bad ideas, but such is not the case. What we have are groups of otherwise intelligent people with educations that certainly must include accounting and economics (required for even the highly over-rated MBA – no offense, those who have them, I can explain my distaste for MBAs if you like). Even I, a 30 year old idiot with but Econ 110 and 111, and a few accounting classes, could see these as Too Good To Be True deals. Nothing pays the kinds of returns these things were promised to make (and for a time did make) and be completely on the up and up. It just isn’t bloody possible.
But apparently, knowingly diving head first into a pile of Bad Idea is worthy of rescue. It is worth Billions of dollars of money the Government doesn’t have because they are “Too Big To Fail”.
Bull. If they were too big to fail, they wouldn’t be failing like a hooker at a nunnery.
I wonder what it would take get get myself classified as “too big to fail”? I mean, if people who should know better can get away with a Metric Ass-Load (that’s 1.76 Shit-Tons, if you insist on using Imperial measure) of the people’s money, why not me?
…
Hey, I said I would TRY to not swear. I said nothing about NEVER swearing.
Edit: whoops. Deleted this post by mistake. Feel free to repeat your witty comment, OIDO…