A Needed Humor Break
[guest post by JVW]
I get the sense that we could all use a little light humor right now, so I am submitting to everyone the truly awesome Twitter parody account, @LosFelizDayCare. For those of you who aren’t up on the posh spots in Southern California, Los Feliz is a neighborhood in Los Angeles located slightly northwest of downtown, and noted for its beautiful old Spanish-style homes, happening nightspots (recall the 1996 movie Swingers), and general trendiness, which in course in these parts strongly depends upon holding all of the requisite progressive values. So some wag set up a Twitter account for a fictional daycare center, and sends out hilarious tweets showcasing what sort of parent and child the center would cater to. As with any great parody, it is close enough to the truth that it is damn near believable: the Twitter page includes the warning “We do not accept immunized children.” Go to the Twitter page for all the glorious tweets, but in the meantime, here is a very small sampling of the comedy gold:
PEANUT ALERT: all children have been moved to the cellar until further notice. pic.twitter.com/2LtAXtzTQY
— Los Feliz Day Care (@LosFelizDayCare) December 16, 2013
Good luck to Tristan's dad, Ella's moms, Taran's guardian and Kima's (former) stepbrother at the Oscars tonight!
— Los Feliz Day Care (@LosFelizDayCare) March 2, 2014
Our landscaping engineer, Sergio, prefers that you just go ahead and call him Sergio, not SAIR-he-oh with the trilled r.
— Los Feliz Day Care (@LosFelizDayCare) January 7, 2014
Effective monday, any LFDC child that spills a Game of Thrones spoiler will have an automatic timeout and lose their monthly Sunflower Hour.
— Los Feliz Day Care (@LosFelizDayCare) April 3, 2014
Edie called Roman a "slacktivist" and long story short there was a biting incident. Feelings poems written and now they're planting together
— Los Feliz Day Care (@LosFelizDayCare) May 6, 2014
The Special Person of the Week for the 42nd week running is everyone.
— Los Feliz Day Care (@LosFelizDayCare) May 20, 2014
Lawyers out there? We have a situation where the child is technically the breadwinner (commercials) for her family. Do we bill her then?
— Los Feliz Day Care (@LosFelizDayCare) July 31, 2014
After many complaints, we put a trigger warning on the side of the nursery's jack-in-the-box so that it induces as little stress as possible
— Los Feliz Day Care (@LosFelizDayCare) August 7, 2014
More problems. Alden said Van's parents' marriage doesn't count because it was a Burning Man wedding, and that sent Van into another episode
— Los Feliz Day Care (@LosFelizDayCare) September 10, 2014
Teacher Gary got a little carried away in class and now all of our Little Lions (3 year olds) identify as Libertarian.
— Los Feliz Day Care (@LosFelizDayCare) October 18, 2014
We've been a #BullyFreeZone since September of 2012. However, "bullying" Leonardo's moms into composting their trash is highly encouraged.
— Los Feliz Day Care (@LosFelizDayCare) October 22, 2014
– JVW
Page seems to have been taken down.
kishnevi (b58549) — 10/23/2014 @ 3:07 pmOr maybe Twitter was having a tantrum.
kishnevi (b58549) — 10/23/2014 @ 3:12 pmKishnevi, are the embedded tweets showing? That’s the key thing.
I might be able to fix the URL to the @LosFelizDayCare Twitter page, but it always seems to mess up the embeds when I edit these sort of pages. Sigh, WordPress.
JVW (60ca93) — 10/23/2014 @ 3:19 pmAre you sure this account isn’t real? It really seems like it is.
Dejectedhead (a094a6) — 10/23/2014 @ 3:21 pmI think everything works, but depending upon your device/browser you may not be able to access the parody Twitter page unless you are registered with Twitter. It does seem to work in some circumstances, though.
JVW (60ca93) — 10/23/2014 @ 3:23 pmAre you sure this account isn’t real? It really seems like it is.
I know, hence the whole brilliance of the comedy. If you scroll through their Twitter page, you will actually see that some Day Care site in Indiana asked them if they were the real deal. The response is hilarious.
JVW (60ca93) — 10/23/2014 @ 3:24 pmOn a side note, I see the University of North Carolina fake classes story is breaking about 3 years after it was discovered. I find it hilarious that students would get an A or a B.
If you take a fake class and get a B, you should feel real bad about yourself.
Dejectedhead (a094a6) — 10/23/2014 @ 3:34 pmI’m pulling our child out as soon as our people can schedule it.
askeptic (efcf22) — 10/23/2014 @ 3:43 pmI hate it I miss it I hate that I miss it
happyfeet (e4bb01) — 10/23/2014 @ 3:55 pm“We do not accept immunized children.” — that’s PERFECT!!! Outstanding!
Steven Den Beste (99cfa1) — 10/23/2014 @ 4:01 pmOh noes ! Poor miss happyfeet !
Alastor (e7cb73) — 10/23/2014 @ 4:02 pmyou can check out any time you want, but you can never leave.
redc1c4 (269d8e) — 10/23/2014 @ 4:07 pmin other upbeat and happy news, has Obola come to NYC?
redc1c4 (269d8e) — 10/23/2014 @ 4:08 pmI would like all of us to take a moment, in silence, to remember “Buck-buck Obama”. May (s)he roost in peace and be lifted up on eagle’s, err, chickens, err, rooster’s – aww to hell with it!
felipe (40f0f0) — 10/23/2014 @ 4:14 pmThis one is my favorite!
“Had to write an incident report – Ash called Lulu the B word after she showed him how to hold his Zen rake. That’s not bossy that’s helpful”.
felipe (40f0f0) — 10/23/2014 @ 4:26 pm11 What is with this “Miss Happfeet”. I have way to many sexual dreams about Mr Happy to this let this slight stand.
highpockets (4718b6) — 10/23/2014 @ 4:39 pmFunny Stuff!
Colonel Haiku (2601c0) — 10/23/2014 @ 4:45 pmLove it! I know Los Feliz well and can say this is hilariously spot on.
Dana (f3cc14) — 10/23/2014 @ 5:07 pmBut, the foods good at the Messhall.
askeptic (efcf22) — 10/23/2014 @ 5:14 pmthis is funny… and it could be my neighborhood here in Lost Angels as well…
i had to close the page, or i’d have wound up reading everything they’ve ever posted.
redc1c4 (6d1848) — 10/23/2014 @ 5:27 pmThank you for this fantastic thread and for the link to additional fake Day Care tweets. Yeah, sadly there are actual people like this and yeah, we’re all feeling pretty smug and sanctimonious here right now that whatever our own problems may be, at least we’re not like THOSE people.
elissa (dec38f) — 10/23/2014 @ 5:29 pmredc1c4 #20 – I’m back at April 30 and still going further back !
Feb 3 – “If you’re having bedtime issues tonight we’re sorry. We reminded the children that we’re on a relatively tiny rock blasting thru outer space”
Alastor (e7cb73) — 10/23/2014 @ 5:57 pmI made myself stop. Saving it for when I need it.
felipe (40f0f0) — 10/23/2014 @ 6:03 pmI linked it on my Facebook page, for all six of my friends.
nk (dbc370) — 10/23/2014 @ 6:05 pmmeanwhile, the doc in NYC is positive for Obola, at least with the initial testing
from the HQ, of course.
redc1c4 (cf3b04) — 10/23/2014 @ 6:08 pm“Fu*k your privilege. Fu*k your comfort.”
– 6 year old Che Katzenstein, Valedictorian – Los Feliz Day Care
Colonel Haiku (2601c0) — 10/23/2014 @ 6:17 pmYeah, but it’s in Brooklyn. Is it just the one bridge Manhattan would need to blow up?
nk (dbc370) — 10/23/2014 @ 6:17 pm#27: to here them tell it, the “doctor” went all over town the last few days, subways, Uber, crowded bars & restaurants, etc…
his GF is likely having kittens now as well.
redc1c4 (589173) — 10/23/2014 @ 8:59 pmI forgot Brooklyn is on Long Island. My brother lives on Long Island.
nk (dbc370) — 10/23/2014 @ 9:03 pmAnd I just saw that the guy lives in Manhattan. Maybe if the Dems look to be in danger of losing blue state voters, they might get on Obama’s case.
nk (dbc370) — 10/23/2014 @ 9:09 pmto me, new york is new york… i’ve never cared enough to figure out more than that.
besides, if it was as great as everyone says, LA wouldn’t be neckdeep in goobers from there, whining about how everything is better there, but never going back to stay.
welcome to Lost Angels: now, GTFO.
redc1c4 (a6e73d) — 10/23/2014 @ 10:34 pmI am afraid that you can find that attitude in a trendy neighborhood in probably any moderately large urban area. One of the risks of prosperity, it breeds idiots…
NeoCon_1 (bc232b) — 10/24/2014 @ 11:18 amI don’t know if anyone here watches (watched) the sitcom Last Man Standing, but that daycare center sounds a lot like the one in season 1 of that show (except for income level, probably).
malclave (4f3ec1) — 10/24/2014 @ 8:47 pmI was born in’ ’51 at Hollywood Pres. My dad built a home on Effingham Place (only one block long) just North of Los Fielz Blvd. We moved there in ’54 and I grew up there. I moved to OC in ’71.
This is horrifying news, but not really suprising.
I’m outta here to Texas in 2-3 weeks.
Bill C. (68890e) — 10/24/2014 @ 8:52 pm