Patterico's Pontifications


Year-End Roundup: The Five Best Ted Cruz Twitter Burns of 2017

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 7:00 am

It’s the end of the year, and time for end-of-the-year roundups. Here are the Top Five Ted Cruz Twitter Burns of 2017:

1) Ted Cruz Pwns Deadspin

First, we have this exchange from January. The lefty site Deadspin asked for a picture of Ted Cruz playing basketball:

Cruz’s response:

(Hint: that’s not really him. It’s Duke’s Grayson Allen.) Deadspin made the mistake of responding in the following churlish fashion:

Cruz kept his cool and responded with this:

2) Ted Cruz Pwns New York Times Reporter

Then there is this, from August 14, 2017. A clueless New York Times reporter thought it would be clever to tweet this:

Cruz’s response:



3) Ted Cruz Pwns Ben Sasse

After Ben Sasse did a humorous video apology to Ted Cruz for spilling a Dr. Pepper on him, a Twitter wag made this joke:

Sasse responded:

And Cruz’s response was a hilarious nod to the jokes about him being the Zodiac killer:

4) Ted Cruz Pwns Rand Paul

Rand Paul engaged in his traditional Festivus airing of grievances on Twitter again this year, and he took a couple of shots at Cruz in the process. Cruz had recently gotten into a fracas with Mark Hamill on Twitter, and Sen. Paul had this to say about it:

Cruz got back at Paul pretty good. Everyone I read this to said: “Whoa.”


Finally, we have this:

5) Ted Cruz Pwns Bernie Sanders

After Bernie Sanders suggested east inflatables reviews that we should make the GOP tax “cut” bill permanent:

Cruz responded with this:

Chances of this: zero. But it was good for Cruz to call Bernie’s bluff.

So there you have it: Ted Cruz’s Five Best Twitter Burns of 2017. Feel free to share it with friends.

[Cross-posted at RedState and The Jury Talks Back.]

7 Responses to “Year-End Roundup: The Five Best Ted Cruz Twitter Burns of 2017”

  1. No wonder he wants to keep his day job.

    nk (dbc370)

  2. Twitter’s for twatwaffles.

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  3. Is the Drake burn alluding to Teds Canadian birth? OT I remember justifying my Romney vote by saying “I want to give Drake the movie role of a lifetime 4 years ahead of schedule”.

    urbanleftbehind (87ccb0)

  4. Makes me sad to think what might have been if we had elected a guy like Ted who is

    1) Conservative,
    2) Smart, and
    3) Not criminally insane

    instead of

    4) None of the above.

    Dave (445e97)

  5. Twitter’s for twatwaffles.

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0) — 12/30/2017 @ 8:05 am

    Include or exclude Trump from that description?

    Bill H (383c5d)

  6. Include or exclude Trump from that description?


    There is a Trump exception to every rule.

    Patterico (b56031)


    Home run, Donald; strike out, Tedtoo.

    DCSCA (797bc0)

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