Patterico's Pontifications


“He Kicks the Poor Cat’s Ass”—The Joooos Have Recruited the Entire Animal Kingdom Into Their Conspiracy!

Filed under: General — Aaron Worthing @ 1:46 pm

[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.]

Now this post starts out smirking, but it gets serious, grim even, by the end.  So be warned it’s not all funny.  Still…

All over the world, the Jooooos are hard at work (for the humor impaired, see this important disclaimer).  For instance, in Egypt there was a fatal shark attack in Sinai.  And of course the Egyptians are investigating every possible cause of the attack, even the really, really stupid ones:

Egyptian officials say they have not ruled out the possibility that a fatal shark attack in Sinai on Sunday could have been a plot by the Mossad.

“What is being said about the Mossad throwing the deadly shark [in the sea] to hit tourism in Egypt is not out of the question, but it needs time to confirm,” South Sinai Gov.Muhammad Abdel Fadil Shousha was quoted as saying by the Egyptian state news site

Israeli officials said the claims were too ludicrous to comment on.

Of course they did, but exclusive to Patterico (in the sense that we are taking it from another site), we have photographic evidence.

Other shocking evidence includes the fact that this shark will not hunt from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday, and would never eat pork.

(Update: An Egyptian scientist proves that not everyone in the country is a paranoid idiot.)

Of course in related news, al Qaeda has been recruiting sharks as suicide bombers, as evidenced by this chilling video.

But Mossad’s recruitment of the animal kingdom has not been limited to sharks.  In 2008, Iran arrested Pigeons accused of being Israeli spies:

One of the pigeons was caught near a rose water production plant in the city of Kashan in Isfahan province, the Etemad Melli newspaper reported. It said that some metal rings and “invisible” strings were attached to the bird, suggesting that it might have been somehow communicating what it had seen with the equipment it was carrying.

“Early this month, a black pigeon was caught bearing a blue-coated metal ring, with invisible strings,” a source told the newspaper.

The source gave no further description of the pigeons, nor what their fate might be.

And not just pigeons, but…  squirrels! Besides being a useful tool for distracting dogs (perhaps jihadist dogs?), squirrels have been arrested for spying in Iran:

Iranian intelligence operatives recently detained over a dozen squirrels found within the nation’s borders, claiming the rodents were serving as spies for Western powers determined to undermine the Islamic Republic.

“In recent weeks, intelligence operatives have arrested 14 squirrels within Iran’s borders,” state-sponsored news agency IRNA reported. “The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services.”

Iranian police commander Esmaeil Ahmadi-Moqadam confirmed the report, saying that a number of squirrels had been caught bearing foreign spy gear within Iran’s borders.

Lord I hope they never find out about G-Force:

Err, wrong G-Force.  I mean this one:

(God, what a lame movie that was.)

Oh, and it gets even more frightening than that.  The rats are in on it, too:

The Palestinian Authority’s official news agency Wafa says Israel is using rats to drive Arab families out of their homes in the Old City of Jerusalem.

In the past the news agency, which is controlled and funded by PA President Mahmoud Abbas’s office, has accused Israel of using wild pigs to drive Palestinians out of their homes and fields in the West Bank. In the reports, Palestinians were quoted by the agency as saying that they had seen Israelis release herds of wild pigs, which later attacked them.

But this is the first time that Palestinians have spoken of rats being used against them.

“Rats have become an Israeli weapon to displace and expel Arab residents of the occupied Old City of Jerusalem,” Wafa reported under the title, “Settlers flood the Old City of Jerusalem with rats.” The report continued: “Over the past two months, dozens of settlers come to the alleyways and streets of the Old City carrying iron cages full of rats. They release the rats, which find shelter in open sewage systems.”

And it seems apropos to remind ourselves that according a well-respected Iranian scholar, Tom and Jerry was a Jewish plot by Walt Disney to improve the image of Jews since Jews are basically mice.  Yes, yes, I know you think that Tom and Jerry were created by William Hanna and Joseph Barbera for MGM, but that only goes to show you how deep the conspiracy goes.  And let’s not forget Walt’s overt contributions to this conspiracy that continue up to this very day:

But in Palestine, they have been fighting back for years.  First they had Farfur the Mouse, who was beloved by Palestinian children until the evil Jews murdered him in 2007.  And they also have recruited a giant bee and a Jew-eating rabbit.

All of which is silly, but leads me to a serious point.  Some liberals are fond of claiming that terrorism is born out of oppression, that they are just striking back against those who have wronged them.  But one major flaw in that theory is that a lot of people in that part of the world are so paranoid in their anti-Semitism, that they literally will believe their enemies can and will do anything.  Everything is a Jewish conspiracy.  The rats in their sewers.  A few pigeons crapping on their car.  So naturally other things, like the complete state of crap these economies find themselves in is naturally the Jooos fault, right?  Them and the Americans, naturally.  My point is that stories like this demonstrate that their ability to even perceive actual injustice and assign correct blame is seriously compromised by their paranoid hatred of Jews, yet another reason why their violence is a terrible gauge of the justice of their cause.

As though we should take lectures on human rights from people who intentionally murder children, anyway.

Sorry to bum you out with a horrific picture, but it’s important to remember the cruelty these “human rights advocates” engage in.  There is no reason to intentionally murder a baby, unless you believe that there is something about that child that makes him inherently evil.  They don’t kill Jews because of anything they have done to them.  They kill them out of irrational hate—simply because they are Jews.

Rest in peace, Shalhevet Pass.  Some of us have not forgotten.

Hat tip: Legal Insurrection.  And the title comes from a line in the video talking about Tom and Jerry.

[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]

27 Responses to ““He Kicks the Poor Cat’s Ass”—The Joooos Have Recruited the Entire Animal Kingdom Into Their Conspiracy!”

  1. Ugh, I was really enjoying the snarky laughter at the crazy Jew hate until I got to the sniper killing Shalhevet story.

    But I guess the reality is that the same paranoid hatred that makes Egypt’s government look hilarious sometimes is actually pretty horrible rather than funny.

    They are more upset about Jewish sharks than baby killers.

    Dustin (b54cdc)

  2. What about the laser beams? Dammit, I specified laser beams!

    mojo (8096f2)

  3. Mojo

    Only the shark mohels get the lasers. 🙂

    Aaron Worthing (e7d72e)

  4. We are laughing at the insanity, but this mentality is right here among us in the West. I work with Muslims in an engineering/construction environment in S. Cal, and these are grown men and women who speak multiple languages and hold university degrees. And, they are not shy about bringing up the Zionist creation of AIDS and control of the world banking system and media and manipulation of the United States to do Israel’s bidding.

    I will think about this story next time I read about “youth riots” in Paris or Toronto or London. Just a matter of time before it happens here.

    In the meantime, hope the sharks keep halal and kosher.

    TimesDisliker (12fea0)

  5. TD

    You raise a good point. If there was a jewish shark and i ate a whole lot of bacon would i render myself un-kosher?

    I mean that would be the perfect ad for bacon: “Bacon. It will keep you from being eaten by Jewish sharks!”

    Aaron Worthing (e7d72e)

  6. it’s the little known but voracious Gefilte shark…. 8)

    redc1c4 (fb8750)

  7. You laugh, Aaron, about that shark claim?

    I guess you didn’t know Cracked recently revealed that Julia Child was part of a WWII team that manipulated sharks with OTHER sharks. DEAD sharks.

    And Julia Child may have claimed not to be religious, she’s later been linked to TEH JOOOS.

    I don’t think I have to say any more.

    Ken (2e87a6)

  8. Pure disfunctionality, that’s the Middle Eastern culture.

    SPQR (26be8b)

  9. Some one forgot to clue them in, that ‘Deep Blue
    Sea’ wasn’t about real events

    narciso (6075d0)

  10. Ken

    Cracked is an awesome site.

    Aaron Worthing (b8e056)

  11. narciso, I think you are on to something. Anyone who has seen ‘Deep Blue Sea’ has seen that those sharks are very familiar with ovens.

    TimesDisliker (12fea0)

  12. Am I the only one who has noticed that there is only one letter difference between Jaws and Jews?

    The Dana who notices these things (bd7e62)

  13. Waitaminute….

    People meat is often referred to as “long pork”. Those can’t be Jewish sharks!!!!

    wg (55b630)

  14. “Hello, I put my skin for years as a doctor professional and actual
    combat experience written blog:
    And you (all friends) share how to correctly treat skin method. We exchange our connection? “ (26f40a)

  15. I don’t really care what a governor of a godforsaken state of Egypt says or does.

    I do care that every single presidential candidate in the last primary/general election season felt obliged to pay fealty to Israel and AIPAC. I do care that 43 years after the event the USS Liberty incident is still being covered up. I do care that the US government ignores the interests of, say, the 80% of us who aren’t Jews or deluded ‘Christian Zionists’. I do care that organized Jewry and heavily Jewish organizations (hello, ‘A’CLU) are behind every effort to transform this country demographically through mass immigration, legal and illegal.

    stari_momak (53e043)

  16. Resolved, Do not feed the trolls.

    Bar Sinister (0d48e6)

  17. Does Mel Brooks have another film in him, like “History of the World”

    narciso (6075d0)

  18. I present to you Stari_momak, who is officially part of the problem.

    Aaron Worthing (b8e056)

  19. Looney conspiracy theories are indeed the problem.

    SPQR (26be8b)

  20. Good response, Aaron.

    Dustin (b54cdc)

  21. What conspiracy — its out in the open.

    Search for, for example, Foxman, ADL, SB1070.

    I do find it ironic that someone with the monicker of SPQR is *defending* Jews.

    stari_momak (53e043)

  22. Other than the Liberty, of course. That *is* a conspiracy.

    stari_momak (53e043)

  23. “I do care that organized Jewry and heavily Jewish organizations (hello, ‘A’CLU) are behind every effort to transform this country demographically through mass immigration, legal and illegal.”

    Just to clarify, by ‘behind’ I meant ‘in support of’, not necessarily instigators of.

    stari_momak (53e043)

  24. Dana

    Mmmm, as far as Jaws was concerned… well the movie was directed by a jew, Spielberg, who then built a mechanical shark for the movie and… omg… Spielberg is behind it?

    Which begs the question. How much longer will it be before the T-Rexs attack in the middle east?

    And will they have rocket launchers?

    (reference to IMAO’s obsession)

    Aaron Worthing (b8e056)

  25. I do find it ironic that someone with the monicker of SPQR is *defending* Jews.

    He didn’t say a damn thing about ‘the jews’.

    He mocked your terrible points. This may be about loyalty to ‘the jews’ or ‘jewry’ to you, but SPQR would dismiss you if you said similar crap about the USAF (who have bombed US Personnel on accident too, you know).

    You’re wrong from the onset, just because of your racist way of categorizing motivations and human beings.

    Dustin (b54cdc)

  26. Thanks patterico,
    I just up-choked my coffee

    bmertz (d77c52)

  27. Unbelievable how well-written and informaitve this was.

    Coralee (9cdaae)

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