Rudy Giuliani Brings The Funny: Butt-Dials News Reporter
[guest post by Dana]
I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted by this never-ending circus of indignant, self-righteous politicians moralizing at the American people while We The Actual People witness both sides of the political aisle puff up their smug, self-imagined heroic little chests and launch yet another attack on their enemies and simultaneously expose themselves as little more than money-grubbing, power-driven festering pustules on the pocked-marked ass of the Body Politic.
But. Leave it to security expert Rudy Giuliani to unknowingly inject some much-needed laughs into the putrefying political landscape by butt-dialing a reporter. And not for the first time:
Late in the night Oct. 16, Rudy Giuliani made a phone call to this reporter.
The fact that Giuliani was reaching out wasn’t remarkable. He and the reporter had spoken earlier that evening for a story about his ties to a fringe Iranian opposition group.
But this call, it would soon become clear, wasn’t a typical case of a source following up with a reporter.
The call came in at 11:07 p.m. and went to voicemail; the reporter was asleep.
The next morning, a message exactly three minutes long was sitting in the reporter’s voicemail. In the recording, the words tumbling out of Giuliani’s mouth were not directed at the reporter. He was speaking to someone else, someone in the same room.
Giuliani can be heard discussing overseas dealings and lamenting the need for cash, though it’s difficult to discern the full context of the conversation.
[…]
“You know,” Giuliani says at the start of the recording. “Charles would have a hard time with a fraud case ‘cause he didn’t do any due diligence.”
It wasn’t clear who Charles is, or who may have been implicated in a fraud. In fact, much of the message’s first minute is difficult to comprehend, in part because the voice of the other man in the conversation is muffled and barely intelligible.
But then, Giuliani says something that’s crystal clear.
“Let’s get back to business.”
He goes on.
“I gotta get you to get on Bahrain.”
Giuliani is well-connected in the kingdom of Bahrain.
The report describes Giuliani interaction and business dealings with Bahrain, which ultimately, seem unclear to me. Perhaps he is more like an ambassador to the country, as the Bahrain News Agency suggested. Or perhaps Giuliani did indeed advise the Bahrain police force on counterterrorism measures… What comes next on the voicemail, though, would make a great scene in a film where two small time bumbling crooks, who are just desperate to pull off at least one big score in their embarrassingly unsuccessful careers, slowly come to the stark realization that, although they have the will to do the job, they just don’t have the brain power left to actually figure out how to make it happen:
Giuliani can be heard telling the man that he’s “got to call Robert again tomorrow.”
“Is Robert around?” Giuliani asks.
“He’s in Turkey,” the man responds.
Giuliani replies instantly. “The problem is we need some money.”
The two men then go silent. Nine seconds pass. No word is spoken. Then Giuliani chimes in again.
“We need a few hundred thousand,” he says.
Actually, all of the messages read like some dark comedy about small-time crooks realizing that whatever edge they once had, and dull as it may have been, is no longer. As for this not being the first time that Giuliani has butt-dialed a reporter:
The first one happened when the NBC News reporter was at a fifth-birthday party for an extended family member in Central Jersey.
It was 3:37 p.m. Saturday, Sept. 28, and a pink unicorn piñata had just been strung up around a tree in the backyard.
Amid his 3-year-old daughter’s excitement, the reporter decided to let Giuliani’s call go to his voicemail.
The previous day, the reporter interviewed Giuliani for an article quoting several of his former Justice Department colleagues who said they believed he committed crimes in his effort to push the Ukrainians to launch an investigation of former Vice President Joe Biden.
After the pink unicorn piñata came the bouncy castle and then cake. It wasn’t until at least an hour after the call that the reporter realized it had led to a three-minute voicemail, the maximum his phone allows.
In the message, Giuliani is heard talking to at least one other person. The conversation appears to pick up almost exactly where Giuliani’s phone call with the reporter left off the day before, with Giuliani insisting he was the target of attacks because he was making public accusations about a powerful Democratic politician.
“I expected it would happen,” Giuliani says at the start of the recording. “The minute you touch on one of the protected people, they go crazy. They come after you.”
“You got the truth on your side,” an unidentified man says.
“It’s very powerful,” Giuliani replies.
Read the whole report for the details on this conversation. Ultimately, here is the good news and the bad news:
The good news is that there’s no clear evidence of a crime in the transcript, or something even more disastrous like Rudy admitting that the CrowdStrike stuff is kooky nonsense that they’re feeding to the Fox News audience. It’s mostly just him rambling about stuff that sounds crime-y — unknown business he has in Bahrain and Turkey
The bad news is that the writers of the “President Trump” reality show we now inhabit have apparently decided to take the show in a more comic direction.
I’m sure any number of people will start dissecting Guiliani’s voicemails, and shaping them into something that benefits their political preference, as well as adding to their favorite conspiracy theories. Have at it. As for me, it’s been a hella hard week, so I’m just here for the laughs.
P.S. The reporter notes that Giuliani’s phone mailbox is now full. It’s very likely that his butt has been particularly busy with impeachment stuff and all, and that any number of the recipients of those voicemails have filled up his mailbox asking him, or his butt to call them back.
(Cross-posted at The Jury Talks Back.)
–Dana
Comedy gold.
Dana (05f22b) — 10/25/2019 @ 3:36 pmOnly the best, baby.
Colonel Klink (Ret) (6e7a1c) — 10/25/2019 @ 3:42 pmI think the moral of the story is: “If Rudy calls you, let it go to voicemail.”
Davethulhu (fab944) — 10/25/2019 @ 4:18 pmRemember when Trump turned to Rudy as an informal adviser on cybersecurity because he was such an expert and all.
Dana (05f22b) — 10/25/2019 @ 4:56 pmI was under the impression you guys thought Rudy has been talking out his butt since he aligned with Trump
Steveg (3d1266) — 10/25/2019 @ 5:00 pmThe bad news is that the writers of the “President Trump” reality show we now inhabit have apparently decided to take the show in a more comic direction.
I am inclined to think that’s the good news.
Kishnevi (1f5233) — 10/25/2019 @ 5:16 pmGood point, kishnevi.
Dana (05f22b) — 10/25/2019 @ 5:23 pmRelated to Giuliani, ProPublica has a piece on that pro-Trump hack, John Solomon, and his ties to Giuliani’s buddies, the two indicted Ukrainians, Parnas and Fruman.
Paul Montagu (00daa1) — 10/25/2019 @ 5:24 pmIn the piece, Solomon also revealed how he committed a basic journalistic sin, basing his “reporting” on a single unvetted source. Also of note is that Solomon’s attorneys are diGenova and Toensing, the same husband-wife team defending Firtash, Parnas and Fruman. Who knows, maybe they’ll be defending Giuliani pretty soon as well.
Who says Rudy butt-dialed? The Chinese government could easily have turned on Rudy’s phone remotely and directed the conversation to the reporter’s number. They can do it to any cellphone. They can do it to just about any Chinese-made wireless device. The computer you are using right now, for example. Your TV remote. Your car fob. Your microwave!
nk (dbc370) — 10/25/2019 @ 5:33 pmAlexa? Really? You’re going to pay Jeff Bezos to bug your entire home? Good grief, you people!
nk (dbc370) — 10/25/2019 @ 5:35 pm@8: Thank heavens there aren’t any pro-Schiff hacks in the media. But, if there were, ProPublica would be on the case.
Munroe (53beca) — 10/25/2019 @ 5:38 pmTrump: Spending on Middle East wars could have been used on inner-city scholarships
Comedy gold!
Rip Murdock (b1f26f) — 10/25/2019 @ 5:46 pmFrom “America’s Mayor” to “America’s ‘Betrayer.'”
“Leadership”….eh, Rudolph?
DCSCA (797bc0) — 10/25/2019 @ 6:03 pmI don’t know what to make of this story. I mean, seriously, how does one make a cell phone call with your butt? Let your cheeks do the dialing, I suppose.
It doesn’t make any sense. Well, it would if you mistook your cell phone for toilet paper, by why would anyone make a call while sitting on a commode? Wiping you ass is one thing, but sending your sh!t out on voicemail is quite another. And taking exactly three minutes to do so is quite extraordinary, not once but twice! Using Charmin would take like five seconds, and soiled tissue doesn’t broadcast.
As for Giuliani, few know, remember or are willing to forget that when he was mayor of NYC, he was the one who insisted, in fact demanded, that the command center for counter-terrorism be housed in the World Trade Center, over the objections of security officials. So, when the Twin Towers fell on 9-11, it completely destroyed the capability for New York (and the US) to respond to the attack, because there was no command center anymore. It took several weeks to restructure and reorganize a command center, costing millions and endangering thousands of lives.
This is the guy that foreign governments turn to for counter-terrorism and security advice? This is the guy Trump wants as his personal attorney?
And he’s not getting paid enough, apparently. Once a successful prosecutor for the SDNY, who bravely took down mobsters, he’s become a bad joke ever since. Now, he sees himself as some sort of international mobster or lawyer. Peddling his conspiracy theories, representing bad actors all around.
Haven’t seen too much of him on television lately. He’s an embarrassment. He can’t even dial the right number with his butt cheeks.
An NBC reporter? Why not CNN or ABC or CBS or PBS? Why not the NY Times or the Washington Post?
Giuliani is a complete failure. He had his moment in the sun, but that lasted for about a morning. Now, he’s exposed. He’s sending out his sh!t for all the world to see, because he doesn’t known the difference between a cell phone and toilet paper.
Exactly how does one squeeze his butt cheeks to dial a number? While wiping his ass. That’s the only serious question. That, and that Trump promised he would only hire the best.
Gawain's Ghost (b25cd1) — 10/25/2019 @ 6:07 pmI hope he was playing Risk or Monopoly and is being totally misunderstood.
At least we know why they keep getting pink eye.
Dustin (504bb1) — 10/25/2019 @ 6:14 pmPro publica is totally without an agenda
https://www.propublica.org/article/taste-of-the-climate-apocalypse-to-come
Or else it has a total lack of sense of irony.
PG&E is what you can expect with state oversight of the utility industry. No oversight and no power
steveg (354706) — 10/25/2019 @ 6:36 pmDcsca- are you watching the Fox broadcast of the World Series? They had a very interesting cutaway scene between batters that was consummate DCSCA.
urbanleftbehind (456c28) — 10/25/2019 @ 6:37 pmWatching W/S – way too much stepping out of the batters box. just play ball.
rcocean (1a839e) — 10/25/2019 @ 6:39 pmEven once makes him sound like a senile old man. If you can’t handle a cell phone, get a secretary.
rcocean (1a839e) — 10/25/2019 @ 6:40 pmWhile handling e.g. an iPhone, it is not that hard to accidentally initiate a call to someone you recently spoke too.
Sometimes while navigating into, out of, or around the phone app I accidentally start a call. If you aren’t paying attention, and trying to get from the phone screen to some other feature of the phone in a hurry, it could easily happen.
Dave (1bb933) — 10/25/2019 @ 6:43 pm@18. You mean did I “catch the Buzz?” Would that we could all be his age and capable of a good throw.
Tough act for Trump to follow.
DCSCA (797bc0) — 10/25/2019 @ 6:56 pmSome really good baseball all around.
DCSCA (797bc0) — 10/25/2019 @ 6:58 pmCaught in the fourth where after the first Stro batter popped out they went to a space station and had the 2 female astronauts pitching and catching against on their crewmates using a makeshift bat.
urbanleftbehind (456c28) — 10/25/2019 @ 7:07 pmSure. But the thing is, Solomon had the ear of Hannity, and Solomon fed the FoxNews hack with reported and false information, and Trump took that garbage as gospel, leading this president to bad decisions that will lead to his probable impeachment and possible removal.
Paul Montagu (00daa1) — 10/25/2019 @ 7:14 pmEr, badly reported.
Paul Montagu (00daa1) — 10/25/2019 @ 7:30 pm@24. Oh yeah, caught that as well— great PR. Though some nay-saying-wag is bound to calculate the cost of sending up a baseball to orbit. Some years ago the shuttle crew flew an Oscar to float around o camera the evening they awarded a specie Academy Award to George Lucas. But nothing beat Shepard golfing on camera– on the moon.
DCSCA (797bc0) — 10/25/2019 @ 7:40 pmMore on this tight little network involving Solomon, diGenova, Toensing, Firtash and Giuliani.
You could say they’re part of a conspiracy, and of course the spawn of diGenova-Toensing works for Barr, and Barr and diGenova “go back years”.
Paul Montagu (00daa1) — 10/25/2019 @ 8:14 pm#21
Who was that guy the host used to call by his self given nickname “glutes of steel”?
steveg (354706) — 10/25/2019 @ 8:24 pmAnd there’s more:
And Trump.
Paul Montagu (00daa1) — 10/25/2019 @ 8:28 pmsteveg @29. Andrew Sullivan, the guy who obsessed that Trig Palin was really Bristol’s child? Strange person.
nk (dbc370) — 10/25/2019 @ 8:37 pmAnd he’s an old, some olds are older than other olds, and he’s old .
Plus, have you heard him laugh? It’s creepy, and he was married to his cousin, eww, not like 6th, once removed either! Katie Hill is a nun in comparison, well, she wears the costume at least.
Colonel Klink (Ret) (6e7a1c) — 10/25/2019 @ 9:29 pmPaul Montagu (00daa1) — 10/25/2019 @ 8:28 pm
Let’s cite ProPublica, The Daily Beast, and CJR — because Mother Jones and The Nation haven’t yet seen fit to smear Solomon, I guess.
Munroe (53beca) — 10/25/2019 @ 10:00 pmGiuliani saved NYC from being a sheet hole and after 9/11. People dumping on him are doing so for partisan advantage.
That is all.
NJRob (4d595c) — 10/25/2019 @ 10:04 pmSo many mobys. Or is it mobies?
NJRob (4d595c) — 10/25/2019 @ 10:05 pmHe is a political thug, a fixer, and a dirty tricks specialist, who was already past his “use by” date when he gave the New York Senate seat to Hillary while literally (and I know what literally means) parading his mistress before his wife. People supporting him now are doing so for partisan advantage because Trump hasn’t thrown him under the bus yet.
nk (dbc370) — 10/25/2019 @ 10:35 pmHe did good stuff 20 years ago. I supported him and donated money to his campaign when he was running for president.
Like everybody else, I don’t care who he is, I care what he does, and since becoming Trump’s Clouseau-like consigliere, he has disgraced himself.
Dave (1bb933) — 10/25/2019 @ 11:06 pmLaugh away, all you funny people, but Rudy is doing serious work.
lurker (d8c5bc) — 10/26/2019 @ 12:40 am19- Watching W/S – way too much stepping out of the batters box. just play ball.
mg (8cbc69) — 10/26/2019 @ 2:03 amBack in the 60’s batters did that schiff, chin music was on its way. Pitchers used to run the game. 2 – 2 1/2 hr. games. Now they want these punks to waste time selling 4 1/2 hours of advertisements.
@36. You forgot transvestite. At times, America’s Mayor can be such a drag. Flats or pumps today, Rudy?
DCSCA (797bc0) — 10/26/2019 @ 2:08 amhttps://thefederalist.com/2019/10/25/all-the-russia-collusion-clues-are-beginning-to-point-back-to-john-brennan/
mg (8cbc69) — 10/26/2019 @ 2:10 amround zem up
@34. You best revisit his poll numbers on 9/10/01. Rudy wasn’t all that popular in NYC before the attack.
DCSCA (797bc0) — 10/26/2019 @ 2:13 amNoted, ad hominem used yet again as an excuse to avoid substance. Solomon himself admitted that his sources were Parnas and diGenova-Toensing. There’s stronger evidence of a conspiracy involving Solomon-Barr-Giuliani-diGenova-Toensing-Parnas-Fruman-Firtash than there is involving VP Biden-Burisma-Zlochevsky.
Paul Montagu (00daa1) — 10/26/2019 @ 2:40 amAnd Parnas and diGenova-Toensing were able to get two corrupt Ukrainian prosecutors–Shokin and Lutsenko–on board in their quest for dirt against Biden. Meantime, Giuliani has been slumming around Ukraine with sketchy characters in those same efforts.
That’s a nothingburger on Brennan. Ms. Cleveland conveniently forgets to mention anything about the CIA’s highly placed source (read, spy) in the Kremlin–a source who had to flee Russia to the US–had direct knowledge that Putin directed the “sweeping and systematic” effort to undermine the 2016 election, intelligence that was so alarming to Brennan that he walked it over to Obama. Ms. Cleveland a hack by her lie of omission.
Paul Montagu (00daa1) — 10/26/2019 @ 3:04 am44- You must be a gold medal winner at go fish.
mg (8cbc69) — 10/26/2019 @ 3:27 amJust recognizing that we’re in Global Disinformation War, and Trump is a nexus, and he has all these adoring supporters who prop up his bullsh*t, including Barr and Ms. Cleveland and Giuliani and Solomon. In that context, he’s an Enemy of the People.
Paul Montagu (00daa1) — 10/26/2019 @ 3:52 amnk, Giuliani is Paul Vallas, another 90s urban resurgence icon, had Vallas embraced the dark side.
urbanleftbehind (4904a4) — 10/26/2019 @ 6:48 amWhat’s funny is that this is an NBC reporter that Giuliani had spoken to earlier. For a crate of oranges which is always complaining about the #FakeNewsMedia, they’re always sniffing around reporters and TV shows like dogs hanging around the table for scraps.
nk (dbc370) — 10/26/2019 @ 7:15 amThe way a phone call is accidentally “dialed” is that there is a certain button or touch screen menu item that calls back the last number that called you. The calls lasted exactly 3 minutes in both cases because that’s the capacity of the voicemail the phone contract had.
The Sept. 28, call shows that Giuliani believes everything he is saying about Hunter Biden, and more.
We don’t have enough context to know what the October 16 call means.
But, first of all, I think the reporter gets it wrong about “Charles.”
“Charles would have a hard time with a fraud case ’cause he didn’t do any due diligence.”
This means that “Charles” would have a hard time suing someone else for fraud.
“Charles” is not suspected of fraud, although perhaps it may be fraudulent for him to say he was defrauded.
That was apparently a digression in the conversation Giuliani was having.
What he’s doing with, or in, Bahrain and what he needs several hundred thousand dollars to do is just not clear. We do know, from outside of this call, that he is consulting for Bahrain on counter-terrorism measures. Giuliani holds himself out as an expert on anything vaguely terrorism, police or security related.
One person he’s working with on Bahrain is Robert Mangas, who was doing something else in Turkey that day that Giuliani may no longer be involved with, if he was at all. Giuliani is also sometimes a lawyer trying to get people out of jail, or not in it. He also winds up taking up other tasks.
Sammy Finkelman (b4516d) — 10/26/2019 @ 8:28 pm