Patterico's Pontifications

7/28/2008

The Fake L.A. Times

Filed under: Dog Trainer,Humor — Patterico @ 6:31 am

This is the funniest thing I have seen in ages: a spoof of the L.A. Times called Not the L.A. Times. Go the link and click around. You will laugh heartily with virtually every press of the mouse button.

I love this:

Genius.

Here are a couple more excerpts to whet your appetite. One is a fake Steve Lopez column:

Arnold and Antonio: You’re off the hook today. You too, Mahony. I’m even declaring a moratorium on the mayor’s transportation czar – you know, the guy whose Humvee I manage to mention in one out of every five columns lately.

Normally, going cold turkey on these clowns would leave me scrambling for material. But I’m not just here to hold bigwigs accountable with my inimitable blend of righteous indignation and rapier wit.

I’m also here to help homeless musicians recover from mental illness and play concerts at Disney Hall. Sure, I’m aware of the many selfless Angelenos who do far more important work in soup kitchens or with special-needs kids, but let’s face it, their stories just aren’t as sexy as a gruff-on-the-outside newspaper columnist with a heart of gold who helps a mentally ill violinist get back on his feet.

That’s why I got a book and movie deal out of it.

The second is a fake retraction:

Oops, they did it again. For the second time this year, the Los Angeles Times has retracted a story that connected hip-hop mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs to a high-profile shooting.

In April, the newspaper apologized for hinting that Combs ordered an attack on rap artist Tupac Shakur in 1994. The mea culpa was issued after TheSmokingGun.com pointed out that a key document in the article should have been spotted as a hoax.

Now, the newspaper is backtracking again, this time on its claim that Combs met with Lee Harvey Oswald two hours before President John F. Kennedy was gunned down in 1963. The Times based its story on data retrieved from Oswald’s PalmPilot.

After The Smoking Gun pointed out that PalmPilots weren’t invented until the 1990s – and that, technically speaking, Combs wasn’t alive in 1963 – the Times launched an internal investigation. Two days later, the paper retracted the article.

I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say who’s behind it, although I know. (It ain’t me. I’m not that funny.) [UPDATE: Since his name is on the bottom of the site, I guess it would have to be OK to say. It's Roy Rivenburg.]

Go to the link, click, and laugh.

28 Responses to “The Fake L.A. Times”

  1. You know, I’d subscribe to that LA Times. Bet it comes with a supply of popcorn.

    Old Coot (cb828a)

  2. I’ll take a wild guess and say it’s Roy Rivenburg. There is a subtle clue at the bottom of the page.

    (Yeah, it’s pretty funny.)

    –JRM

    JRM (355c21)

  3. Good point, JRM. [Slaps forehead.]

    Patterico (cc3b34)

  4. The funniest thing (and there’s lots of funny stuff) is that the link to “California/Local” goes to the real Access Hollywood page.

    brobin (c07c20)

  5. The links in the left column are great, too.

    DRJ (8b9d41)

  6. I thought it was the real LAT that is considered a joke.

    Icy Truth (9cedd0)

  7. Pretty darn funny; thanks for linking.

    My fave: “Burger King Mascot Arrested” “Cops blame creepy fast food character for a string of homicides”

    Oh wait: “LA Times fires the rest of its staff” hahahahaha

    no one you know (1f5ddb)

  8. The “Subscribe” link is pretty classy too… :)

    Scott Jacobs (fa5e57)

  9. Burger King Mascot Arrested” “Cops blame creepy fast food character

    One could only hope …

    JD (75f5c3)

  10. The “Subscribe” link is pretty classy too…

    Comment by Scott Jacobs — 7/28/2008 @ 8:19 am

    Would never have seen that. LOL

    no one you know (1f5ddb)

  11. Roy Rivenburg? You are brilliant. Fantastic satire.

    Vermont Neighbor (31ccb6)

  12. The marketing people for Burger King must be deaf, dumb, and blind. How in the world did they ever think it was a good idea to create such a creepy paper mache’ headed freak as the centerpiece of their marketing campaign?

    JD (75f5c3)

  13. The marketing people for Burger King must be deaf, dumb, and blind. How in the world did they ever think it was a good idea to create such a creepy paper mache’ headed freak as the centerpiece of their marketing campaign?

    Comment by JD — 7/28/2008 @ 8:44 am

    Too true. :) That guy (sic?) gave me the willies from the get go.

    no one you know (1f5ddb)

  14. Remember the very first TV ad, where the guy wakes up and “the king” is in bed with him? That was either stunningly progressive or the creepiest commercial of all time.

    Icy Truth (9cedd0)

  15. How in the world did they ever think it was a good idea to create such a creepy paper mache’ headed freak as the centerpiece of their marketing campaign?

    It worked pretty well for Jack In The Box.

    That commercial series is pretty funny.

    Drumwaster (5ccf59)

  16. Icy Truth:

    “That was either stunningly progressive or the creepiest commercial of all time.”

    I don’t think it’s an either/or proposition.

    brobin (c07c20)

  17. “Hydromaniac sets building on flood” — a line that deserves to be repeated sometime in the future.

    JVW (6a7c34)

  18. Clink the ‘Opinion’ link. Classic.

    Michael M (25ccc4)

  19. How about “Click” instead….

    Michael M (25ccc4)

  20. Absolutely classic!

    okie (cff009)

  21. Wow Steve Lopez. Haven’t heard that name since he split from the Philadelphia Official Mouthpiece of the Democratic Party Inquirer. Looks like his style has fossilized completely. Hope he goes out for drinks with another “don’t let the door hit you in the ass” ex-Philly (Main Line suburban to be precise) boy Kobe B.

    Jack Klompus (cf3660)

  22. “Clink the ‘Opinion’ link. Classic”.
    Michael M at #18″

    Yes it is and I’ll not spoil it for others. Unfortunately it’s quite accurate and I doubt if the LAT editors will get the joke.

    C. Norris (158005)

  23. That was either stunningly progressive or the creepiest commercial of all time.

    Maybe BK was advertising to that small select crowd that relates to Kevin Bacon in that pedophile movie.

    Vermont Neighbor (31ccb6)

  24. Hilarious!

    I especially like the live traffic link — all red.

    And the story about axing the rest of the LAT staff. Look at the Times building!!

    Patricia (f56a97)

  25. Talk about axing sections? I am so tired of the Times obit section. How many times do we have to hear about someone who worked behind the scenes in some 1939 movie? Of course that was a good year.

    Alta Bob (a6d8ba)

  26. I’m looking forward to the Pechanga Tribe or Google taking possession of San Diego. Not so much al Qaeda, and much less Donald Trump. The Pechanga win the bidding providing for the needs of all the gamblers is certain to improve local infrastructure.

    Alan Kellogg (55d165)

  27. At some date in the 1970s, while the
    NYT was closed due to a strike, some
    folks published a print edition parody
    “Not the New York Times” which was
    quite funny.

    jerrybcd (cf1e9f)


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