Stupid Criminals, Vol. 2
[Guest post by DRJ]
This is Vol. 2 (Vol. 1 is here) in my continuing but infrequent series of posts on criminals who didn’t have the best plan:
“Wig? Check. Handgun? Check. Photo ID? Best left at home.
A woman wearing a wig walked into a bank Thursday and filled out an application to open an account. Then, she whipped out a semi-automatic pistol and demanded cash from a teller.
But her plan was less than foolproof, authorities said. She fled on foot without getting any money — and left behind her account application, complete with her former address and a copy of her photo identification. She was in police custody within an hour.
“We’re probably not dealing with the smartest person in the world,” Warren Police Commissioner William Dwyer said.”
The police said the woman, who is in her mid-30’s, needed money and turned to robbery. The police commissioner said they see a lot of that because of the bad economy.
— DRJ
“We’re probably not dealing with the smartest person in the world,” Warren Police Commissioner William Dwyer said.” He went on to describe the sun as “hot” and “very far away”.
…the woman, who is in her mid-30’s, needed money and turned to robbery. The police commissioner said they see a lot of that because of the bad economy.
The bad economy makes people stupid?
Apogee (366e8b) — 4/3/2008 @ 7:32 pmThat comment rankled me but I included it to be completely fair.
Still, I remember a former police chief in my town who claimed that crime went up when it was hot. The neighboring city’s police chief swore that crime went up on payday. I think there are as many theories about crime as there are people, and they are probably all a little bit right and a little bit wrong.
DRJ (a431ca) — 4/3/2008 @ 7:35 pmIt’s supposed to be 95 degrees this Friday. I’m not taking any chances, so I’m locking my doors and staying inside.
Apogee (366e8b) — 4/3/2008 @ 7:41 pmGood plan!
DRJ (a431ca) — 4/3/2008 @ 7:50 pmIn case you’ve never tried this…just go to youtube and type in stupid criminals. Warning, it’s very hard on your stomach muscles from laughing.
allan (8f1bf1) — 4/3/2008 @ 7:51 pmGoodness, no, Apogee; it’s just that with the news claiming the sky is falling, they’re worried about not being supported in the manner they’re accustomed to, so they turn to robbery…..
Foxfier (74f1c8) — 4/3/2008 @ 7:53 pmThere is a direct corrolation, a perfect corrolation actually, between increased consumption of ice cream and increase in violent crime. Especially rape. We really should outlaw ice cream.
nk (34c5da) — 4/3/2008 @ 7:57 pmI heard a story yesterday about a would be robber who went into a store, gun in hand, and was told that they had no money on hand, and wouldn’t until the manager arrived. The robber thereupon wrote down his cell phone number and ordered them to call him when the manager arrived.
They did, and he came back. Of course, the manager had first called the police to make sure they were present when he did come back.
The correlation with a bad economy shouldn’t be too surprising. An marginally performing employee who is kept on in better times won’t be given the benefit of the doubt when revenue is less, and might well attempt crime when laid off, especially if he/she has a prior history of such. (And presumably there’s some sort of correlation between stupid employees and marginally performing employees.)
kishnevi (3cf898) — 4/3/2008 @ 8:04 pmThe economy will improve, crime will drop sharply and the homeless will once again be living somewhere off the street…as soon as Obama is elected. Always happens when our leadership changes from Rep to Dem.
Strangest thing.
ManlyDad (d62cf6) — 4/3/2008 @ 8:07 pmkishnevi –
Foxfier (74f1c8) — 4/3/2008 @ 8:16 pmI would only specify that it’s stupid and lazy/dishonest ones…I’ve got a cousin who is dumb as a box of rocks (well, a couple….) but a really great worker– loyal as can be, will work himself nearly to death, wouldn’t steal to feed himself. Right now, a fishing boat and a mill are fighting over him. *smile*
ManlyDad…
Another Drew (8018ee) — 4/3/2008 @ 8:54 pmIsn’t it amazing how that happens, and yet the raw numbers hardly move.
There’s a lie being told somewhere in that briarpatch.
Man, speaking of dumb criminals, my truck got broken into the other day for the third time. Well, broken into is a bit much–I can’t lock the doors anymore because the last time it was stolen, the thieves totally destroyed the lock mechanism on both doors, so now I just disconnect the entire electrical system every time I stop.
Anyway, this jerk-off thief takes apart the ignition, jams a screwdriver into the actuator mechanism, and turns. When nothing happens, because the battery isn’t connected, he (I’m guessing) keeps on turning until the damn thing breaks off way inside the steering column. I had to take apart the entire steering column to get it running again, so I basically have to hotwire my truck every time I use it, and now the whole steering column is just hanging out there, kept together with baling wire. I just want to catch them in the act next time.
On the plus side, I now know how to steal a really old car.
I should put a note on the steering wheel: “Dear thieves, I hope you can read. The truck is broken. You will be unable to steal it. Please use the bus. Thank you.”
Russell (5ecf4a) — 4/3/2008 @ 10:36 pmHer defense: I blame Bush!
Patricia (f56a97) — 4/4/2008 @ 7:13 am