Patterico's Pontifications

5/2/2007

Judge’s Pants Suit

Filed under: Buffoons,General — Patterico @ 12:08 am

Wow. It takes a judge to file one of the most frivolous lawsuits in history: a $67 million suit against a dry cleaning business for losing a pair of pants. (Via Orin Kerr.) The judge has been offered $12,000 in settlement for the pants, but no deal.

According to court papers, here’s how Pearson calculates the damages and legal fees:

He believes he is entitled to $1,500 for each violation, each day during which the “Satisfaction Guaranteed” sign, and another sign promising “Same Day Service” was up in the store — more than 1200 days.

And he’s multiplying each violation by three because he’s suing Jin and Soo Chung and their son.

He also wants $500,000 in ’emotional damages’ and another $542, 500 in legal fees, even though he is representing himself in court.

He wants $15,000 for ten years worth of weekend car rentals as well.

Yeah, well, I want a pony. And a $50 million mansion, with stables, so I can put it somewhere. For my daughter.

I’d settle for the chance to rip this guy’s complaint into shreds and force-feed it to him, with some horseradish to help it go down easier.

68 Responses to “Judge’s Pants Suit”

  1. This guy should be kicked off the bench for such a BS lawsuit. How can he even file this with a straight face? $12,000 wasn’t good enough for a pair of pants? Emotional damages??? What the hell was he doing with those pants?!

    fngJD (49df46)

  2. You’re attacking that idiot from the wrong end. Do it right and the horseradish would be an irritant.

    C. S. P. Schofield (e3a580)

  3. I would like to date Heidi Klum. $50 million might ease the pain a little. But then, I guess I value Heidi less than a pair of pants.

    Perfect Sense (b6ec8c)

  4. Yeah. I saw that over at Protein Wisdom a few days ago. Unbelievable.

    Dan Collins (93467a)

  5. I agree with the line of thinking in post #1.
    Can the Bar in his locale take action against him?

    I would think that in positive PR alone the lawyers of America would win out on censuring this person.

    Otherwise, we’ll see what Jay Leno, David Letterman, and others do with this. (Of course, you could lead in intellectual integrity-as usual- and self-effacing honesty by hosting a contest on, “Why did the lawyer think his pants were worth $67 million dollars?”

    MD in Philly (3d3f72)

  6. I defended a dry cleaner against a dissatisfied customer once. His insurance company paid my fee and costs and instructed me to settle as quickly as possible. It was a matter of protecting the goodwill of the business. For a small business that depends on word of mouth “satisfaction guaranteed” is not a promise — it is survival.

    nk (db0112)

  7. nk… read the story. The business offered him $150 for the pants right off the bat. As he escalated his whining, they offered him increasing amounts of money, up to $12,000.

    I’ve seen customers like this psychopath. They will never, ever, be satisfied if the slightest thing goes wrong, no matter how much the business does to try to compensate him.

    What a moron this administrative judge is.

    PatHMV (0e077d)

  8. American/Koran Legal Relations…

    Or abusing the juducial system for revenge and profit. Two examples

    In Washington DC the Korean owners of a Dry Cleaners are being taken to the legal cleaners by judge who claims they lost his trousers and therefore failed the “Service Guarranteed….

    L'Ombre de l'Olivier (59ce3a)

  9. Check the racial factors involved here, the fact that this case is in DC, and that the plaintiff can pursue this at minimal to no cost to himself, and you will better understand why this magnificent representative of the judicial system couldn’t care less about what you think.
    BTW, he is just starting a ten year term as Administrative Judge.

    great unknown (273e95)

  10. Ironically, less than a week after Pearson dropped off the missing trousers in 2005, Soo Chung found them, she says. She tried to return them to Pearson but he said they were the wrong pants.

    The Chungs say they are certain they have located the missing trousers. “When the pants were brought in, Mrs. Chung noticed the three belt loop situation and in finding them realized that they were Mr. Pearson’s pants based on that.” He also said the receipt tag on the pants “exactly matches the receipt that Mr. Pearson has.”

    Amazing!

    aunursa (e9bd96)

  11. First day on the job and already he’s made his mark. Thanks for the help “Judge”. :-(>

    You’d think he’d know that when he’s working, no one can see his pants anyway. A nice suit or off the rack shirt and clip on tie, in terms of the visual, makes no difference. The robe covers all. But sadly, stunt’s like this tell us quite a bit about what’s inside that part of the anatomy that does show. And in this case, it ain’t pretty.

    Ms. Judged (563114)

  12. And then attorneys wonder why people dislike them so? Give me a break!

    This Judge needs to be thrown off the bench AND lose his license to practice law until he manages to return to Planet Earth!

    What a complete moron.

    Gayle Miller (1288b1)

  13. Why do judges even need pants? They’re an extraneous accessory for someone who wears a long robe and sits behind a raised wooden desk…

    Besides, if anyone does notice that the judge isn’t wearing pants, he can hold them in contempt.

    ///

    “Objection! Defense has just noticed that your Honor has taken the phrase ‘going commando’ to an unacceptable logical extreme. Move to recess until your Honor sees fit to put his pants on.”

    “Bailiff, remove this man from the courtroom immediately!”

    Leviticus (43095b)

  14. “He also wants $500,000 in ‘emotional damages’”

    Those must have been some pants.

    Federal Dog (9afd6c)

  15. Update. This guy hasn’t taken the bench yet. He is scheduled to start tomorrow. Significant opposition is developing against him and it may turnout that he won’t get the job after all.

    Second, he isn’t that kind of judge. He was appointed for a ten year term as an Administrative Law Judge. A different breed of cat and not possessed of the same authority or jurisdiction as a state or federal trial judge or appellate justice.

    Still looks crummy though.

    Ms. Judged (becd1d)

  16. Whoops! Correction. He is presently an Administrative Law Judge being re-appointed for a 10 year term starting tomorrow.

    My bad.

    Ms. Judged (becd1d)

  17. Don’t the feds have a rule that if the defendant tenders the correct ad damnum in his pleadings, the plaintiff rejects it at his peril?

    nk (db0112)

  18. My dry cleaners breaks buttons. Can I sue?

    Tom (efe1e9)

  19. April Fool’s! Oh, wait … geeesh. Pearson plans to call 63 witnesses? I can only hope that the defendant is awarded costs, and is ordered to destroy the pants.

    htom (412a17)

  20. Is there a legal fund for the dry cleaners or will their insurance take care of that?

    Becky (0fe45a)

  21. I can only hope that the defendant is awarded costs, and is ordered to destroy the pants.

    …while the judge is wearing them…

    cathyf (6d1f33)

  22. Of course he’ll never get anything more than a few grand. He’s just hamming it up for some reason.

    But every legitimate plaintiff’s trial lawyer tomorrow has to face juries whose most recent memory of civil law is the crazy judge asking for $67 million for a pair of pants. The insurance industry loves this sort of story because it lowers verdicts, and raises profits.

    These sorts of cases bring down verdict sizes all over the country. Jurors still foam at the mouth when you mention the McDonald’s coffee case. Far from being indicitive of an out-of control tort system, they control the tort system all by themselves, by creating outrage at a threat that doesn’t really exist.

    But the tort-reform crowd, who never talks about the thousands of meritorious tort lawsuits filed every month, or the fact that many injured people who bring lawsuits these days don’t even get enough of a recovery to pay their doctor bills, loves this sort of absurdity so much they talk about it for months.

    Phil (427875)

  23. Why in the world would the dry cleaner offer $12 grand to settle the suit?

    Do you know how Bill O’Reilly has his producers go after bad judges– the ones who give child molesters probation and the like? His producer stalks the judge, gets him on video as the producer asks “hey why did you give that man who molested the 6 year old 3 weeks in jail”. Then we see the judge squirm and say something mean about Bill O’Reilly.

    Anyway, he ought to go after this guy the same way

    Susan R (d20795)

  24. Crazy judges are one of our biggest problems in this country. I think we should solve that problem by just hanging most of ’em.

    Jerry D. Cox (273e95)

  25. Jerry D.:

    You gonna chair the screening committee?

    Ms. Judged (becd1d)

  26. his voicemail may be full by now, but you can find the phone number of judge roy l. pearson on zabasearch.com and express your sentiments directly. i don’t want to annoy patterico any more than usual by posting it on his blog.

    phil got it right, this is just sweet clover for the tort “reformers”, wonder if this is some kind of front?

    the $12,000 settlement offer is an interesting insight into the claims calculus.

    hiya ms. judged, the good weather season in oregon is due to start any day now.

    assistant devil's advocate (4217ff)

  27. #

    You’re attacking that idiot from the wrong end. Do it right and the horseradish would be an irritant.

    Comment by C. S. P. Schofield — 5/2/2007 @ 2:18 am

    Precisely. Take that suit, fold it ’till it’s all corners, dip it in horseradish, and……

    Random Numbers (642128)

  28. He’s just pissed because his favorite crack pipe was in the pocket.

    Kevin Murphy (805c5b)

  29. If this guy doesn’t pull a sanction, nobody ever will.

    mojo (8096f2)

  30. I know the attorney types out there might not agree, but Let this be a warning to any small businessmen out there- if you don’t have a sign on the door forbidding the entrance of an attorney, you’re opening yourself to a similar dillema.

    Perhaps something like: No smoking, pets or attorneys permitted.

    And yes, I am being serious.

    Hollowpoint (d3a158)

  31. A paranoid sociopath with a law degree and a judge’s gavelin his hand is a pretty scary creature. He’s bright enough to look things up, so he’s not a moron–but he’s lost his moral/social compass somewhere.

    Nobody’s shorts are worth $67 million. And yet, and yet, there are lots of sociopaths around for whom the world revolves around them, and when you lose their pants, you’re in trouble. I’ve had the misfortune in my own professional and social life to come across such self absorbed sociopaths on a couple of occasions. It wasn’t fun.

    Of course if the guy had laid off the cream cheese and the bagels, or the booze or whatever, he might have fit into more than one of those five Hickey Freeman suits, and the loss of the one pair of pants that fit his fat fundament wouldn’t have been so tragic.

    Mike Myers (2e43f5)

  32. Both pants pockets have big holes in them. That’s why they are his favorite pants.

    tmac (899d8a)

  33. If the business did find the pants, and tried to return them, and the Judge denied that they were the correct pants (while knowing that they were) and continued to sue, is that not some form of crime, something fraudulent ?

    I wonder how much forensics it would take to establish that the pants were his ?

    Alasdair (0c1945)

  34. […] of Patterico comes this story about a lawyer and his pants. The lawyer took his suit pants to a dry cleaners and […]

    Lawyers and their suits at Hoystory (f2fa8b)

  35. Mike Meyers (#29). I suspect that it was inadvertant, but you seem to have coined a beautiful and appropriate phrase: “a judge’s gavelin.”

    great unknown (9d9e0c)

  36. Judge Roy acted pretty wacko in legal proceedings relating to his divorce if you look at the paperwork. He’s got precedent for being a loon. He tried to get the judge and his wife disbared in those proceedings. The appellate judge didn’t look favorably on it when deciding how to award claims for legal fees. The appeal was final in 2005.

    It looks like judge Roy needed some dough at the time the suit was filed.

    daleyrocks (906622)

  37. I hearby submit that from this point forward, Roy Pearson be nicknamed “Judge Roy Mean.”

    L.N. Smithee (d1de1b)

  38. I think this guy needs to be drafted into the JAG Corp, and assigned to a very small unit in Afghanistan, then have his paperwork misplaced…forever!

    BTW, saw a posting that of our 140K+ troops in Iraq, we have 2-3K JAG’s. No wonder we can’t get it right!

    And, horseradish is too good for him. How about a habanero dip?

    Another Drew (8018ee)

  39. Ol Hickory believed that lawyers were destroying Ameican courts. When President he appointed many regular folk to various benches to try to “save the courts”. This lawyer/judge may prove Jackson to have been right!

    Rodney A Stanton (58294a)

  40. I’m not certain just what the Great Unknown (Post # 33) wants to make of the word “gavelin”. There was supposed to be a space between the words “gavel” and “in”.

    But we give these guys (and ladies) in black dresses enormous power over the lives of others. It’s a shame when a fruitcake slips through the cracks.

    I think that the basic requirements for a judge include a sense of fairness; some learning in the law; intellectual integrity; and a respect for precedent. My grandfather was a Justice of the Peace in a small Arizona town in the late 1940s and 1950’s. I’m not certain he even had a high school education. In his earlier life he had been a foreman on a Oklahoma cattle ranch, and later in life, a foreman on an Arizona Department of Highways road crew. He suffered a heart attack in 1946, so the town elected him Justice of the Peace because he wasn’t physically able to stay on as foreman of the road crew.

    He held the JP position for some 16 years. I sat in his courtroom as a kid when I visited on summer vacation. He sent the more complicated and bigger cases to the county judge in a larger town; but he got the basic things right in the cases he handled because he had a sense of fairness and intellectual integrity. I knew of a similar Justice of the Peace in a small town in San Diego County in the late 60’s and early 70’s. He was a retired Highway Patrolman. He did okay.

    Either one of them would have sent this clown Roy Pearson packing on the first day he came into their courtroom. And the Highway Patrolman might have invited Pearson to meet him outside where he would have delivered a good thumping to Pearson. In fact, he might have kicked him in the “gavelin”.

    Mike Myers (2e43f5)

  41. From #21

    But every legitimate plaintiff’s trial lawyer tomorrow has to face juries whose most recent memory of civil law is the crazy judge asking for $67 million for a pair of pants. The insurance industry loves this sort of story because it lowers verdicts, and raises profits.
    These sorts of cases bring down verdict sizes all over the country. Jurors still foam at the mouth when you mention the McDonald’s coffee case. Far from being indicitive of an out-of control tort system, they control the tort system all by themselves, by creating outrage at a threat that doesn’t really exist.
    But the tort-reform crowd, who never talks about the thousands of meritorious tort lawsuits filed every month, or the fact that many injured people who bring lawsuits these days don’t even get enough of a recovery to pay their doctor bills, loves this sort of absurdity so much they talk about it for months.
    Comment by Phil — 5/2/2007 @ 10:17 am

    I’m afraid that I don’t find your argument very convincing, even if the claims you make are true. I think this proves de facto that there are problems in the tort system, maybe the solutions just haven’t been worked out yet. For “the system” to tolerate such abuse and “frivolity” (??) is to impede the timely consideration of those meritorious claims.

    Certainly the insurance industry likes to keep verdicts down, that’s what the lawyers that work for those companies get paid to do.

    I receive some encouragement knowing that when a jury awarded $1,000,000 to a psychic/fortune teller whose “powers” were “lost” when she had a brain MRI done, the verdict and award was somehow overturned by the judge.

    MD in Philly (3d3f72)

  42. I think people should start inundating the man with soiled pant – Ok well, just pants…pull out the oldest, stupidest, skankiest pair of pants in your closest, put them in a box and send them to him…seriously. Pants or a box of kleenex.

    Topsecretk9 (851239)

  43. mike meyers (#39)
    I noted that the coinage was probably inadvertant – i.e., an accidentally missed space. However, the similarity of gavelin and the weapon “javelin” struck me. A judge’s gavel can indeed be a lethal weapon. I agree that said lethal weapon might be appropriately used to administer Patterico’s horseradish to Pearson the wrong way up a one-way street.

    great unknown (1f0f07)

  44. I don’t buy Phil’s argument either…because most lawsuits don’t see a court room. A majority are settled WHICH happens to encourage meritless and frivolous claims. And don’t say that if one is innocent that will bear out at trial – and trial lawyer worth their salt will apprise their client that the sad, sad reality is it is far less expensive to settle the most meritless case than to take it to trial AND people go bankrupt trying to defend themselves against meritless claims AND if they do prevail the other side will most likely file an appeal and the prevailer will not receive any compensation defending that appeal.

    Topsecretk9 (851239)

  45. I thought “gavelin” was similar to “y’all”, as in Judge Roy Bean ought to be givin’ Judge Roy Mean a good ‘ol fashion gavelin’ up one side and down the other.

    MD in Philly (3d3f72)

  46. In DC the one thing you cannot do is be “niggardly”. Sorry Korean dry cleaners. You should have treated the “niggard” the way the welfare state over the last forty years has taught him how to expect to be treated. Just hand over over your wallet and hope for a painless death.

    nk (db0112)

  47. Speaking as someone who has seen his parents fall into civil lawsuit hell (with $50,000+ in charges building up over a $1,900 bill) after they got into a tiff with a vendor, it seems to me that this would be a very convenient and easy way to wreck someone’s life.

    David N. Scott (71e316)

  48. $12,000 but for what? Did this guy have incriminating bodily fluids on the original pants and so he’s worried about a DNA scandal?

    Farfetched… but lawyers in D.C. have been impeached over similar sordid stains.

    Vermont Neighbor (a385c8)

  49. The judge should be terminated. The crycleaner should not be responsible for more than the cost of the pants. Even “a few thousand” is outrageous.

    TCO (4c403f)

  50. Hey ada:

    Still foolin’ them fishies and praying for sunshine? Don’t give a thought. 2, 3 more months tops.

    Ms. Judged (563114)

  51. Been in and around medicine my entire adult wife. Off the top of my head, I can think of four obstetricians who will not take lawyers or their spouses as patients. My long-time contractor has the same policy. You’re not paranoid if there’s someone following you.

    KobeClan (a4db3a)

  52. I mean its eough some jerks are trying to sue Mc Donalds or Burger KIng over thier own obesity and stupididy or suing some gun maker for no other reason then linning ones pockets now its this? as SHAKSPEAR once wrote AND LET US THE FIRST THINGS WE DO LET US KILL ALL THE LAWYERS. And then theres all those lawyer jokes.Q. WHAT DO YOU CALL A LAWYER UP TO HIS NECK IN THE SAND? A.NOT EOUGH SAND

    krazy kagu (a6e311)

  53. What does this have to do with lawyers? The guy’s a judge.

    Leviticus (43095b)

  54. #51:

    Not really a judge; an Administrative Law Judge. Big difference. But real judges and the other kind do have one thing in common; they must be lawyers before they can become judges. Of any kind (in most places). It is that good early training that causes them to bay at the same moon.

    Ms. Judged (becd1d)

  55. Another BS lawsuit. Another persuasive arguement
    for a “loser pays” tort system.

    Mike W (a0928b)

  56. Judge Roy L Pearson – Sometimes the Customer is dead wrong…

    Roy L Pearson, Jr. the most hated and reviled man in America, beating out even Osama Bin Laden

    Planck's Constant (a4eadc)

  57. Well, he’s black. That means he can’t be a racist–and for that matter, that means anything he does is justified as a form of “reparations.” No doubt he plans to share his 67 million with other survivors of the ravages of slavery and the CIA plot to get blacks addicted to crack—Right?

    TheManTheMyth (6e8923)

  58. Let me guess:

    Pearson will lose the case and get nothing.
    The Chung’s will win, but end up bankrupt for paying lawyers fee.
    Lawyers always win and will collect hefty fees.

    Justice is served

    khan lee (8f277b)

  59. Maybe we should answer by helping out?

    posted by deezle on overlawyered.com

    According to Marc Fisher of the Washington Post, a legal defense fund has been established. You can contrubute through the Chung family’s lawyer, Chris Manning.

    Chris Manning
    Manning & Sossamon PLLC
    1532 Sixteenth Street NW
    Washington, DC 20036
    202) 387-2228
    202) 387-2229 (Fax)
    cmanning@manning-sossamon.com
    http://www.manning-sossamon.com

    Becky (0fe45a)

  60. Friday Reading List and Weekend OTP…

    Here’s your Friday reading list from the Yak:
    When Hotlinking Attacks: Wizbang has posted a fabulous a case study demonstrating what can ……

    The Random Yak (dec680)

  61. “Let this be a warning to any small businessmen out there- if you don’t have a sign on the door forbidding the entrance of an attorney, you’re opening yourself to a similar dillema. Perhaps something like: No smoking, pets or attorneys permitted.”

    Slap that sign on courthouses too!

    And yes, I am being serious. Someone get me my gavelin!

    Federal Dog (9afd6c)

  62. I happen to be an attorney and so I hate this idea, and yet, I can’t blame regular folk for feeling thus. Its not attorneys you have to worry about, its liberal attorneys (i.e., the vast majority who paid for law school with mommy and daddy’s money or with the government’s money, depending on their skin color) but one can’t laypeople to be able to make the distinction….

    TheManTheMyth (6e8923)

  63. I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley….

    TheManTheMyth (6e8923)

  64. I understand this suit, we have had trouble at cleaners before and they act like they never saw us before, owner in other town, sorry it looks bad, cant find it, etc, and there seems to be no recourse. i cant say how many times we have been taken to the cleaners. they act like they have no responsibility.

    Dennis Thomas (a36229)

  65. THIS IDIOT SHOULD BE DISBARED, PAY ALL THE COURT COSTS, FIND FOR WASTING THE COURTS TIME AND THE TAXPAYER’S MONEY AND PAY THE CLEANER OWNERS 10,000 FOR THEIR PAIN AND SUFFERING.

    RICHARD RAINER (f58517)

  66. To everyone who is concerned for justice and truth – This exempts Judge Roy Pearson, Jr. and let it be known I would like to start an advocacy group to have his license removed and bar him from ever practicing again. This is justice? He has no sense of real value towards fellow human beings and I can’t imagine anyone going before him in a courtroom and expecting to receive a just hearing. He obviously has some very deeply rooted emotional problems that most likely relate to vendictive behaviors as a result of historical discrimination. Get rid of this guy now!! Anyone want to help with his removal…let me know.

    Jeff Brown (15192e)


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