How Can We Miss Her When She Won’t Go Away? The Lamentations of Hillary! Clinton
[guest post by JVW]
Note: I see that Dana already put up a very good post about Mrs./Senator/Secretary/President Clinton’s talk at the tech conference earlier today. I started this post in the morning, but was distracted by work and by the time I finished my post, Dana’s was already up. So consider this just a companion piece: like another garlic necklace for a political vampire.
Ah, Hillary. You almost had it. That which was your destiny, your birthright. Hadn’t you spent your teen years ingratiating yourself with the adults in your upper middle-class suburb, being the nice, dependable Methodist girl with the bright young future? And didn’t you accurately read the tea leaves while at Wellesley and seamlessly transform yourself from the placid, mousy Goldwater Girl into the combative, feminist McGovernite fighting for every trendy leftist cause?
And how about making it into Yale Law and hooking up with that hillbilly guy with all that charisma who inexplicably managed to bring so many people into his orbit? Yeah, he was a tomcat in heat, but the guy rose up the electoral ladder so damn quickly that you found yourself moving into the White House just a few months after your 45th birthday! And then, as part of the deal, you were put in charge of what the two of you had agreed to promote as his signature program, restructuring health care. You were about to be the most consequential first lady of all-time, in a way that would have made Edith Wilson and Eleanor Roosevelt burn with envy.
Hey, it wasn’t your fault that nobody could ever quite get a handle on the thousand-plus pages of your legislation or that the spineless members of your party in the Senate refused to bow to your unquestionable wisdom and advocate for your plan. And sure, you had to endure the indignity of the whole Lewinsky scandal and impeachment thing, but on the other hand it did land you a nice seat in the Senate from a state amenable to carpetbaggers. You were just 53, and you knew that if you didn’t run for President in 2004 that you would still be an incredibly viable candidate in 2008, when you would “only” be 61 on election day. Yeah, that whole thing with the black guy coming out of nowhere (Bill was right that just ten years earlier Obama would have been fetching your coffee) and snatching victory out of your claws sucked, but you were still such a force that he had to have you inside the tent so he landed you that plum job that would establish your bona fides in foreign policy and pretty much guarantee that the party would turn to you when his run was over. What’s more, he gave you a roadmap of how to build a winning coalition and demonstrated once and for all that the electoral map was decisively tipped in your party’s direction.
But then something happened. Something that nobody — I mean nobody worthwhile like Nate Silver or the Washington Post or “All Things Considered” on NPR or the Harvard faculty — thought even remotely possible. Though you ran up an impressive margin in the popular vote, you found yourself on the losing side of the electoral college in such a decisive fashion that you would have had to turn around the vote in three mid-sized states in order to win. How could that have been possible? You lost because that white working-class vote, the voters that you almost used to beat back Obama’s challenge eight years earlier, abandoned you. How dare they!
Our old friend Hillary has re-inserted herself into the news cycle with an appearance at something called the Code Conference where cutting-edge technology liberals (Vox is a sponsor) gather to grouse about Republicans and remind themselves how the geeky guys from high school are now the coolest cats in town (if that town happens to be Redwood City or Menlo Park, that is). And what better way to prove how cool and progressive you are by brining the twice-failed Democrat candidate for President out of mothballs to chant her litany of grievances against those who have failed her and thwarted her noble ambition to allow our country to be governed by someone as worthy as she. Shannen Coffin over at NRO has a helpful list of all the people that Her Clintonic Majesty blames for her defeat (spoiler: none of them have the maiden name of “Rodham”) and Scott Johnson at Powerline has a pretty thorough round-up of her self-serving version of events and the suck-up reaction she received from the moderator. Even the CNN reporter seems to be rather amused by HRC’s deflection game (lede: “Hillary Clinton says she takes full responsibility for her decisions. There’s just one catch: She says her decisions weren’t the reason that she lost to Donald Trump.”) When you’ve lost CNN. . . .
In any case, Hillary is supposedly working on a book about her 2016 campaign experience and whatever else she wants to cram in there as a valedictory (no one is going to want to read anything from her after this next book, will they?). She received $8 million as an advance for her 2003 early years and White House memoir, Living History, which likely made enough in sales to justify that price, and she received a $14 million advance for her post-Obama Administration memoir, Hard Choices, which almost certainly did not sell enough copies to recoup that very generous outlay. Now that she has nothing to offer a publisher by way of political favors, it is kind of hard seeing this next book receiving any kind of worthwhile advance (though publishers these days seem to have a nasty habit of throwing away huge advances on books by tiresome female authors), so one would expect that Hillary’s remuneration for this (we can hope) swan song will be based wholly upon royalties, i.e. her ability to sell books. Given that, my one hope is that she and her editor decide that the best way to ensure sales is to dish the dirt and settle some scores with various figures in her political life, including Barack & Michelle Obama (fun story being reported on today), Al & Tipper Gore, Patrick Moynihan, Chuck Schumer, Bernie Sanders, John Podesta, Anthony Weiner, and the rest of that sorrid lot. If she does that, I’ll ask to borrow the book from one of my lefty friends.
And let’s have this be the last we ever hear from her and of her.
[Cross-posted at the Jury Talks Back.]
– JVW