Patterico's Pontifications


The Non-Stop Hilarity of Rudy Giuliani

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 7:16 am

This New Yorker interview with Rudy Giuliani is gold. Rudy is always entertaining, as the nearly senile septuagenarian lawyer who might say anything next. But this interview is great even for him.

First, there are the tapes that totally contradict the BuzzFeed story — and also, tapes? What tapes? Oh yeah, tapes. Well, the tapes have nothing to do with this:

Did President Trump’s lawyers or you yourself reach out to the special counsel’s office after the story, as has just been reported?

I can’t discuss that. President Trump would not have done that. If anybody would have done it, obviously it would have been his lawyers, and I really can’t discuss that. That would be confidential.

Do you—

But I can tell you, from the moment I read the story, I knew the story was false.


Because I have been through all the tapes, I have been through all the texts, I have been through all the e-mails, and I knew none existed. And then, basically, when the special counsel said that, just in case there are any others I might not know about, they probably went through others and found the same thing.

Wait, what tapes have you gone through?

I shouldn’t have said tapes. They alleged there were texts and e-mails that corroborated that Cohen was saying the President told him to lie. There were no texts, there were no e-mails, and the President never told him to lie.

So, there were no tapes you listened to, though?

No tapes. Well, I have listened to tapes, but none of them concern this.

Then there is the insane ranting about his possible legacy as the guy who lies for Trump:

Saying things for Trump, not always being truthful about it—do you ever worry that this will be your legacy? Does that ever worry you in any way?

Absolutely. I am afraid it will be on my gravestone. “Rudy Giuliani: He lied for Trump.” Somehow, I don’t think that will be it. But, if it is, so what do I care? I’ll be dead. I figure I can explain it to St. Peter. He will be on my side, because I am, so far . . . I don’t think, as a lawyer, I ever said anything that’s untruthful.

You crazy, Rudy.

[Cross-posted at The Jury Talks Back.]

57 Responses to “The Non-Stop Hilarity of Rudy Giuliani”

  1. New Yorker for the win!!!

    Colonel Haiku (93c406)

  2. poor man

    happyfeet (28a91b)

  3. Completely astounding! “I shouldn’t have said Tapes.” Hahaha!

    Tillman (61f3c8)

  4. In other words, Rudy is talking out of his a$$. Problem is, he’s not as good at this practice as his boss.

    Paul Montagu (d33a2c)

  5. I dont see the point of going to one of Glenn Simpsons preferred outlets,

    Narciso (b84796)

  6. The DOJ should interview everyone in the Mueller team about leaks. Mueller knows this is a possibility. He only disputed the Buzzfeed story to try to keep this from happening.

    AZ Bob (885937)

  7. I know what Rudi is doing. He wants people to stop detesting him for being such a sleazeball in his professional, political and personal life, and instead pity him as a poor old man who is going senile in front of our eyes.

    nk (dbc370)

  8. In other words, Rudy is talking out of his a$$

    I thought you only soul searched by looking through the eyes. :-)

    BuDuh (3be8af)

  9. Why did it take a whole day to knock down the story, we dont recognize this same pattern again and again?

    Narciso (b84796)

  10. You note the left doesn’t look into fast and furious or the IRS matter or the dumpsterfire that the Arab spring became.

    Narciso (b84796)

  11. And having talked to one of Jane Meyers interviewees, you’d be shocked (ala major remault) how what she prints has little relation to what was said.

    Narciso (b84796)

  12. Shakespeare could have done wonders with this material once he decided if it was comedy or tragedy.

    John B Boddie (66f464)

  13. Re your number #9, Narciso, people on this blog were quick to concern troll Kristin Gillebrand over a perceptible health problem, the multi-posting about Rudy G. might be a slow-mo version of the same tactic.

    urbanleftbehind (5eecdb)

  14. I wonder if hes related to the other chotiner, Rudy is trying to disabuse these idiots on the fusion GPS train of their pretensions, some people are unable to disengage.

    Narciso (b84796)

  15. She sincerely doesn’t look well, her rollout was not as bad as say mortal engines,

    Why do we have to dance to the left’s chosen narrative, again and again?

    Narciso (b84796)

  16. 15… cuz they got the beat, narciso…

    Colonel Haiku (93c406)

  17. The new Yorker well it’s full nina burleigh with the prog agenda, or the Islamist one, ocassionally you get a little friendly fire as with Weinstein or Moonves but that’s because they are disposable.

    Narciso (b84796)

  18. 4… wow… he divines thru teh windows on teh soul and hears voices from subject’s rear portal.

    He has very unusual powers!

    Colonel Haiku (93c406)

  19. Hes like a guest star on the gifted, coronello.

    Narciso (b84796)

  20. The New Yorker had Regulation Knee Pads for Clinton and 0bama and the Long Knives for Rudy and Trump… well, for Republicans in general.

    Colonel Haiku (93c406)

  21. Ah Rudy, the Willie Mays of politics. Just stayed in the game a bit too long after he was useful instead of retiring on top.

    JVW (54fd0b)

  22. Yes he could be Greg Craig and have his firm virtually skate on their Ukraine connection.

    Narciso (7d6f68)

  23. Who still says “tapes.”? Why not “recordings” or “audio”?

    JRH (fe281f)

  24. The kind of folks who still refer to “wiretaps”… old school folks.

    Colonel Haiku (93c406)

  25. If the speculation is true – “if true” – that Mueller’s upcoming report is a nothingburger, who will be held accountable? Who will pay the price?

    Colonel Haiku (93c406)

  26. this is the oligarch connected businessman, whose wife was ‘friendly’ with bill Clinton:

    narciso (d1f714)

  27. As loopy as Rudy sounds, he may’ve been referring to Foghat’s Greatest Hits…

    Colonel Haiku (93c406)

  28. same fellow who also employed Christopher steele on occasion

    who hired waldman, to secure his access visas, who in turn was a back channel to assuange,

    narciso (d1f714)

  29. Like ya’ll… I’m amazed that Rudy is still Trump’s lawyer here…

    As a law-layman… only thing I can think why Rudy is still doing this is to keep up the “stray voltage” mumbo-jumbo to muddy the waters up as much as he can.

    whembly (b9d411)

  30. Just goes to show you that after a certain age, people should bow out of public life. But in Rudy’s defense, he still remembers what he said yesterday. There are some that don’t.

    Kevin M (21ca15)

  31. But in Rudy’s defense, he still remembers what he said yesterday.

    …and categorically denies it!


    Dave (8c1b76)

  32. as opposed to john Tyson (sic) the one who thought that mueller would be wrapping up by the end of 2017, now that’s delusional, knowing who the grand inquisitor is and his minions,

    narciso (d1f714)

  33. The Devil wears Prada.

    DCSCA (797bc0)

  34. Looks like Rudy has more walking back to do. Regarding Trump Tower Moscow, when he said “no plans were ever made. There were no drafts. Nothing in the file,” he was again talking out of his a$$.

    However, hundreds of pages of business documents, emails, text messages, and architectural plans, obtained by BuzzFeed News over a year of reporting, tell a very different story. Trump Tower Moscow was a richly imagined vision of upscale splendor on the banks of the Moscow River.

    Trump was willing to put his country second for the sake of a nine-figure payday for a real estate deal in the country of a hostile foreign power. Trump is unpatriotic and un-American.

    Paul Montagu (12d5f7)

  35. you can’t trust nbc buzzfeed cause they lie a lot

    happyfeet (28a91b)

  36. He’s got legs; and he knows how to use them, Mr. Feet:

    “One-two-three-kick-turn!”-Roger De Bris [Christopher Hewitt] ‘The Producers’ 1967

    DCSCA (797bc0)

  37. Let’s talk about “hiring the best.” Trump hired Cohen. Despite warnings, Trump brought in Manafort, Flynn, Carter, Page, and Stone.

    It’s only been two years into his presidency, and the list of indictments, guilty pleas and convictions against his associates is unprecedented. His cabinet is bare.

    Giuliani is an embarrassment, and not just to himself. But then he only plays a lawyer on TV now. With his stumbling, bumbling, mumbling defenses, it’s hard to believe he was once a US attorney who took down major crime bosses in New York, much less that he was once elected mayor.

    As a lawyer on TV, he is the worst advocate for a president whose organization, family, friends and associates are facing serious charges, such as lying to federal investigators and Congress, fraud, tax evasion, money laundering, self-dealing, subornation of perjury, and obstruction of justice, not to mention conspiring with foreign powers and violations of the emoluments clause.

    Tick-tock, drip-drip, the water wheel on this clock keeps slowly winding down to a painful end for all involved.

    Gawain's Ghost (b25cd1)

  38. “Tick-tock, drip-drip, the water wheel on this clock keeps slowly winding down to a painful end for all involved.”

    Some pushback against the daily accusations of racism, that ism, ism, ism. Others choose to chronicle the devious achievements of the rancid rabble, and the so-called loyal political opposition. When they aren’t cheering them on.

    Colonel Haiku (9d2fbb)

  39. More buzzfeed, wow…

    Colonel Haiku (9d2fbb)

  40. Good diagrams though, who did Leopold sleep with to get it

    Narciso (dff1d2)

  41. And now Trump is exasperated that Giuliani can’t talk out of his a$$ as well as the Master of Expulsions From A$$.

    Paul Montagu (12d5f7)

  42. Rudy still has some vestige of a conscience, which puts him at an insurmountable disadvantage in any contest of prevarication against Agent Orange…

    Dave (1bb933)

  43. rudy’s a buffoonish terror profiteer

    quintessential manhattan trash really

    happyfeet (28a91b)

  44. Paul has a window to teh a$$ and an uncanny ability to translate emission transmissions

    Colonel Haiku (9d2fbb)

  45. It’s a gift coronello, you note how the times zeroed in on Rudy for oxycontin but missed Eric holders role in representing Purdue before the supreme court.

    Narciso (5ae54a)

  46. NYT… all teh schiff that’s unfit to print.

    Colonel Haiku (9d2fbb)

  47. And here is where I agree with Trump, 100%.

    “Today, I am officially recognizing the President of the Venezuelan National Assembly, Juan Guaido, as the Interim President of Venezuela,” Trump said in a statement. “In its role as the only legitimate branch of government duly elected by the Venezuelan people, the National Assembly invoked the country’s constitution to declare Nicolas Maduro illegitimate, and the office of the presidency therefore vacant. The people of Venezuela have courageously spoken out against Maduro and his regime and demanded freedom and the rule of law.”

    Paul Montagu (27e440)

  48. missed Eric holders role

    Squirrels! Over there!

    wife was ‘friendly’ with bill Clinton:

    Oh no, the squirrels are over there too!

    What were we talking about again?

    Dustin (6d7686)

  49. Maduro just severed diplomatic relations with the US and ordered all US personnel to leave within 72 hours. If Trump really wanted to double down, he'd say that the US doesn't take orders from an illegitimate head of state.

    Paul Montagu (27e440)

  50. What tapes?

    That would be tapes the special counsel has of conversations between Michael Cohen and Donald Trump. Anythng that mentioned Trump I think got turned over to Trump’s lawyers.

    Sammy Finkelman (102c75)

  51. 54. Paul Montagu (27e440) — 1/23/2019 @ 1:55 pm

    Maduro just severed diplomatic relations with the US and ordered all US personnel to leave within 72 hours. If Trump really wanted to double down, he’d say that the US doesn’t take orders from an illegitimate head of state.

    He did. And Russia doubled down, warning, in vague terms, the United States against military intervention in Venezuela.

    Sammy Finkelman (102c75)

  52. so the situation, roughly resembles panama in 89, except endara was installed by the 101st airborne,

    narciso (d1f714)

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