Patterico's Pontifications

4/26/2012

Romney Saves Dogs While Obama Eats Them

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 9:58 pm

The key issue of the upcoming election is, of course, how the candidate treats dogs. (Don’t try to distract us with crap about the Supreme Court majority or $5 trillion added to the deficit in 4 years. It’s all about the dogs). And the clear winner is not the guy who eats dogs, but the guy who saves their lives:

“We heard a whole bunch of screaming,” said Josh Romney, who immediately hopped onto his Jet Ski. “We tore out of there and my dad hopped on the other Jet Ski and came out right after us.”

Roughly 300 yards out onto the lake, six adult family members and their dog were floundering in the water, after their boat suddenly sprung a huge leak — sinking in less than 90 seconds, Josh said…

In the middle of the rescue, the governor actually took a dunking himself — thrown off the Jet Ski as one anxious boater scrambled aboard and tipped the craft off-balance.

The rescuing Romneys also managed to snatch the family dog, McKenzie, from a watery grave — grabbing the Scottish terrier first because it was the only passenger without a lifejacket.

“It looked like it wasn’t going to last much longer,” said Josh, who held the waterlogged pooch on the ride back to shore.

I’d heard this story before, of course, but I remember it as a pedestrian tale about Romney saving the lives of some human beings. I had forgotten that he saved a dog as well, rendering this a keeper.

UPDATE: I initially said Obama spent $5 trillion in 4 years. Of course he has spent far far more. $5 trillion is just how much further in the ditch we are. I knew this, but had an episode of brain flatulence. Thanks to Beldar for catching me giving Obama far too much credit.

Although what this all has to do with dogs is beyond me. Can we keep our eye on the ball, people?

41 Responses to “Romney Saves Dogs While Obama Eats Them”

  1. Incredibly, there are those who still say the dog holocaust was a hoax.

    Despite chilling evidence of the culinary preferences of the White House, some still cling to the belief that their dogs are still alive, foraging in the alleys and trashcans of some distant city. Hope dies hard. Too many unanswered calls for Toby, Max and Phideaux, too many lonely nights without the sound of heavy breathing from the bedside, too many worried looks as newspapers are scanned for the lost and found. They are looking for closure.

    Ken_phd (9e5b9b)

  2. Obama saved a dog once . . . saved it for a late-night snack.

    Mitt bought puppy chow; Barack chowed down on a puppy.

    Mitt brought home a doggie bag; Barack brought home doggie-in-a-bag.

    Icy (02812a)

  3. If the presentation of the dog Obama ate was impeccable, does that help somehow? Presentation is important to the kewl krowd, or so I’ve heard.

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  4. we gotta a whole lotta monies but we still pay rent – cause you can’t buy a house in heaven!

    you and your little dog too!

    happyfeet (3c92a1)

  5. Sorry to quibble, but OMB figures disclose that federal government spending in current dollars has actually been about $3.5T in each of 2009 and 2010, with an estimated $3.8T for 2011 (as of Sep. 30 fiscal year-ending).

    You’re thinking of the deficits — the money spent beyond that which all federal revenue sources have brought in. I can understand why you’d make that kind of mistake, since dogs are what we’re all focused on these days.

    Beldar (99176b)

  6. (Sorry, meant to include a link to my source.)

    Beldar (99176b)

  7. communists eat dogs.
    Republicans save dogs.

    sickofrinos (44de53)

  8. Slightly larger context. It appears that, some years ago when Sarkozy was education minister in France, or whatever they call that post, a gunman took some kids hostage in a school. During the standoff, Sarkozy went into the school and talked the gunman into letting him leave with the kids. I can sure see Obama doing that. Not.
    But I can see Romney doing that.
    Gunman was subsequently shot about seventy-eleven times trying to escape. Cops and kids…. Funny. International thing, I guess.

    Richard Aubrey (a75643)

  9. I can sure see Obama doing that. Not

    Obama is our god, Obama is our soul, Obama is ….Oh forget it.

    Ipso Fatso (7434b9)

  10. Predicted Dem spin: Romneys prioritise saving animals over human beings, film at 11.

    Robin Munn (69cc95)

  11. Romney, just like that monicle-wearing toff on the Titanic, cares more about the fate of a dog than for the 3rd-Class passengers freezing to death on the water.

    Pious Agnostic (7c3d5b)

  12. Don’t braise me, bro.

    Fluffy (875f57)

  13. It might be very interesting for some right-leaning blogger or blog site community to have a bit of fun by doing a comparison and keeping a fully documented day to day running total about the Romney dog stories. What I mean is, track and count the number of times between now and November that a reporter writes an article, or (when interviewing Romney or a family member) they ask specifically about Seamus–as compared to writing/asking about the heroic water rescue. Show of hands: Who here doesn’t think the results will be rather lop-sided?

    There is little cause to be concerned that this game would only serve to keep the dog on roof story alive because, trust me, David Axelrod has every intention of keeping the false narrative of Seamus’ vacation story alive. He believes that his manufactured version of it can and will hurt Romney among low information voters. Using “animal cruelty” is a real branch of the planned Axelrod re-election strategy. The genuine Romney dog and people rescue story is a great antidote to that, so Axelrod and his media minions will do all they can to ignore or bury it.

    elissa (749314)

  14. Jet Ski rescues?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Not something I would be promoting.

    Bill (af584e)

  15. Bill, what are you saying? That jet skis are elitist? That the jet skis used are more central to the story than the actual animal and human lives saved? Or something else? Not sure I underrstand your point.

    elissa (749314)

  16. not sure I can spell either

    elissa (749314)

  17. Emphasizing Romney’s comfort with water sports is a racist dog-whistle, playing on the negative stereotype that Black people cannot swim.

    Pious Agnostic (7c3d5b)

  18. One could say that if the country is going to the dogs, then Romney is the man to save it.

    I’m not saying it, but someone could.

    MD in Philly (3d3f72)

  19. ==Emphasizing Romney’s comfort with water sports is a racist dog-whistle, playing on the negative stereotype that Black people cannot swim.==

    Heh. Have you been reading Tommy Xtopher again, Pious?

    elissa (749314)

  20. Heh. Have you been reading Tommy Xtopher again, Pious?

    All I’m saying is, until we know the races and backgrounds of all persons involved, we cannot know how best to interpret this anecdote.

    Pious Agnostic (7c3d5b)

  21. The dog story is as a good a narrative as any. Romney is not offering anything more than hope and change, either. He has offered no substance that I can see. Beauty contest.

    nk (875f57)

  22. Yeah, but did he air dry the terrier by wearing it as a hat?

    MunDane (861704)

  23. I thought some black guy got gold and silver at swimming at some Olympics. Now if we could see some Chinese in Nascar? That’d be something. But I’ll still be keeping my dog locked up.

    nk (875f57)

  24. Bush made getting Osama an issue but stepping on a sick worm ten years later …? If it ever happened.

    nk (875f57)

  25. this story is another reminder of how 0bama and Romney interpret NDLB… No Dog Left Behind: Romney saves ’em… 0bama filets ’em.

    Colonel Haiku (65290e)

  26. 0bama’s One Term as POTUS: The “Wonder Years”… B0 wondering if he’ll live to see the next Sunrise.

    Colonel Haiku (65290e)

  27. Critical thinking Americans know that there isn’t one among us who wouldn’t have greenlighted that raid on bin Laden, let alone a POTUS.

    EPIC N0 BRAINER!

    Colonel Haiku (65290e)

  28. UPDATE: I initially said Obama spent $5 trillion in 4 years. Of course he has spent far far more. $5 trillion is just how much further in the ditch we are. I knew this, but had an episode of brain flatulence. Thanks to Beldar for catching me giving Obama far too much credit.

    Although what this all has to do with dogs is beyond me. Can we keep our eye on the ball, people?

    Patterico (c232b2)

  29. Romney once saved a drowning terrier. 0bama once drowned a terrier in teriyaki sauce.

    Colonel Haiku (65290e)

  30. Don’tcha know that pets are bad for Mother Gaia?
    Obama was just doing his part to save the world while Romney was trying to destroy it.

    kaf (c41574)

  31. Young Mitt, upset that there’s no more milk: “Doggone it!”
    Young Barack, having just cleaned his plate: “Dog gone.”

    Icy (02812a)

  32. ______________________________________________

    I initially said Obama spent $5 trillion in 4 years. Of course he has spent far far more.

    At least his ethics are impeccable…

    online.wsj.com, April 26:

    Any president who targets a private citizen for his politics is de facto engaged in government intimidation and threats. This is why presidents since Nixon have carefully avoided the practice. Save Mr. Obama, who acknowledges no rules. This past week, one of his campaign websites posted an item entitled “Behind the curtain: A brief history of Romney’s donors.”

    In the post, the Obama campaign named and shamed eight private citizens who had donated to his opponent. Describing the givers as all having “less-than-reputable records,” the post went on to make the extraordinary accusations that “quite a few” have also been “on the wrong side of the law” and profiting at “the expense of so many Americans.”

    These are people…who the site outed for the crime of having “outsourced” jobs. [Or owning a firm that] that forecloses on homes. [Or involved in the oil industry and] accused of profiting from oil. [Or a CEO] slimed as a “bitter foe of the gay rights movement.”

    These are wealthy individuals, to be sure, but private citizens nonetheless. Not one holds elected office. Not one is a criminal. Not one has the barest fraction of the position or the power of the U.S. leader who is publicly assaulting them.

    The real crime of the men, as the website tacitly acknowledges, is that they have given money to Mr. Romney. This fundraiser of a president has shown an acute appreciation for the power of money to win elections, and a cutthroat approach to intimidating those who might give to his opponents.

    In the words of Obama’s former pastor and close adviser, “America, your chickens are coming home to roost.”

    Mark (411533)

  33. Obama saves dogs all the time, you wingnuts. Haven’t you ever heard of Tupperware?

    Jim Treacher (30ee2f)

  34. Romney saved a dog. Obama sauteed a dog.

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  35. Is it true that when Teh Won goes grocery shopping, he whistles “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window”?

    AD-RtR/OS! (dbd8a2)

  36. I hear that once the Mittster pulled the dog out of the water, he tried to dry it off in the microwave.

    Laughing At You (16787f)

  37. Lame ^^^

    Icy (6e8a1d)


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