Patterico's Pontifications


Tiger Woods Enters Rehab

Filed under: Sports — DRJ @ 3:56 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]

Tiger Woods has entered an Arizona rehab facility for treatment of an addiction and to repair his tarnished image:

“Tiger Woods has entered rehab—possibly for sex addiction—at a cushy Arizona facility, pushed by an entourage desperate for him to start repairing his badly damaged image. “He has been there for a few days since his handlers forced him to enter the program,” a source tells X17online. “They feel that if he blames his cheating on addiction, the public will forgive him.”

The source also says Tiger wants to correct the problems that led to his infidelity and the decline in his standing with the public. However, for now, Wood’s freefall continues as AT&T dropped its sponsorship today.


22 Responses to “Tiger Woods Enters Rehab”

  1. pathetic

    happyfeet (e9e587)

  2. redemption takes a spot of effort

    happyfeet (e9e587)

  3. Boy, talk about rapid drops in life. The guy has really stepped on his d**k, as the saying goes. I wonder if all those people who ignored his behavior and concealed his previous incidents wonder if they did him a favor. This stuff gets passed off in the NFL and NBA but golf is a different group of people and does not tolerate the sort of anti-social actions that Raider fans seem to expect.

    Mike K (2cf494)

  4. not only did he step on it, he did so with golf shoes…..

    i have to say though, who gives a damn? Cheetah is not news, as far as i am concerned, all though i am curious as to which “addition” he is going to get treatment for…. %-)

    redc1c4 (fb8750)

  5. Always picking on the poor black man. White crackers hate to see an African American with class, competence and charisma get ahead. If not for a color barrier, wise politicos like Marion Barry, Wilson Goode, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and so on would be at the top of government. Sheer brilliance and charisma gave us a truly great leader as Potus now but all you vast rightwing co-conspirators are struggling to bring even Ear Leader down.

    At least the NFL players are color-blind and Philly made a worthy choice of Michael Vick for displaying great courage.

    aoibhneas (e04345)

  6. The fastest cure for a sex addiction is reputed to be a date with Helen Thomas.

    Official Internet Data Office (9aed74)

  7. “He has been there for a few days since his handlers forced him to enter the program,” a source tells X17online. “They feel that if he blames his cheating on addiction, the public will forgive him.”…and then they’ll get their sponsors back and be able to begin profiting off him again.

    It’s a shame he isn’t surrounded by people who have his and his family’s best interest at heart and that’s he continuing to allow himself to be *handled* by people really only looking out for their own interests. So much for manning up and owning his own bad behavior. Instead, he’s agreeing to allow these handlers to find an excuse for it.

    Dana (f64b7d)

  8. I give Tiger three years to be back on top – after his “therapy,” I foresee him going underground for a year, he’ll then be back to surpass Jack’s 18 Majors record, and he’ll be hailed.

    Doesn’t mean I’ll be caring though.

    I’d rather see him fall on his, um, sword.

    em (11cf60)

  9. Hopefully he’ll be able to keep away from the female counselors….

    Helen Thomas has been Ms. Aversion Therapy for 60 years running.

    SteveG (909b57)

  10. I think his wife turned that sword into a fingernail file… he’s lucky his wife didn’t superglue it in the “sit down to pee” position to make sure it stays home for a while.
    Then she could flee to Sweden and fight extradition… which seems to work OK

    SteveG (909b57)

  11. Sex addiction, whatever. Tiger couldn’t keep it in his pants once he got rich and famous; not a particularly uncommon problem. The only difference is that four or five decades ago people kept their mouth shut and the media didn’t go berserk.

    The continuous abuse of prescription drugs particularly as sexual enhancers is what he really needs help with, that stuff will haunt him for a long time if he doesn’t stop doing it now.

    chaos (9c54c6)

  12. Ah, the royal road to public forgiveness. My prediction is that Tiger wins at least one major this year, and that the divorce settlement is well into nine figures.

    M. Scott Eiland (c552ec)

  13. Golf is different. The players and the people who pay attention are really square. They like players to be married and have kids and the wife is there at the 18th hole when the player finishes.

    The LPGA is different, That is a big lesbian draw, sort of like women’s basketball, but the PGA is really square. Tiger really blew it big time. I wonder that he didn’t understand this. he could have played around if he wasn’t married and most people would not have noticed. What he did, though, is a near fatal case of career suicide.

    We’ll see how he comes back, if he can.

    Mike K (2cf494)

  14. Boy, his “handlers” really have his best interests at heart, don’t they?

    It’s too bad his dad isn’t around anymore to bring him up short and tell him like it is.

    May he find a true friend who can do that. His wife would have been ideal, but oh, well.

    Jeff Weimer (952d52)

  15. Addicted to blondes?

    mojo (74ba73)

  16. I think it was rather gentlemanly of him to let her leave the country so she didn’t have to face Domestic Violence charges….

    pitchforkntorches (8165c3)

  17. Pretty sure the real reason he checked into rehab was because his handlers realized that the fact that ever since he and Elin split he’s been hanging out with his top mistress Rachel Uchitel is not a good thing at all for his bank accounts (from what I’ve seen she is also his hottest mistress, so at least his eyes are still working), that if he kept partying with her in Florida as his career collapsed their paychecks would be gone… so off to rehab Tiger goes!

    chaos (9c54c6)

  18. Why does he need to fight sex addiction? After all, he’s going to be single soon enough, so it won’t matter if he’s running through the ladies, right?

    The inquisitive Dana (474dfc)

  19. Perhaps he needs to room with John Daly…they can share stories of what it is like at the bottom of the well?

    AD - RtR/OS! (cd4296)

  20. Perhaps he needs to room with John Daly…they can share stories of what it is like at the bottom of the well?

    They’re gonna need a bigger well.

    chaos (9c54c6)

  21. Can’t say I’m not enjoying the crash and burn, but all this Elin-is-a-saint stuff is pretty nauseating. After all, it was she who was polishing the cheating driver when Woods was exclusive (though not married to) with one Johanna Jagoda. Surely, she believed she was teh beautiful one that could tame the Tiger.

    Matador (176445)

  22. […] Woods has checked himself into a rehab facility in Arizona, presumably for his addiction to having sex with countless women who aren’t his […]

    Another Sponsor Cancels: AT&T Nixes Tiger Woods… Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You (video) « Frugal Café Blog Zone (a66042)

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