Patterico's Pontifications

8/16/2023

Feminist Academic Chicksplains Men’s Problems

Filed under: General — JVW @ 9:09 am



[guest post by JVW]

Oh golly, boys, our toxic masculinity has drawn the attention of yet another ivy tower academic who self-identifies as female (as far as I am willing to confirm):

“Niobe Way, a professor of developmental psychology at New York University and the author of ‘Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection,’ said many boys are raised with what she called ‘the cowboy mentality’ – ‘I can do it myself, I don’t need others’ – often perpetuated by ‘the father wanting the son to man up and not be so soft. … The whole model of getting help is part of so-called femininity,’” the article reads.

“Women end up being the therapist for their husband, and more are getting sick of it,” Way added.

Dammit, guys, even when we’re trying to spare the fairer sex from our anxieties and shortcomings, it turns out that we impose on them anyway. This reminds me of how every time we try to help with the laundry we end up folding the clothes the wrong way, and every time we offer to pick up groceries on our way home we end up botching the entire order. We just can’t win for trying. And Niobe Way would know a lot about paragons of perfect manhood; after all, she presented an honorary doctorate to that contemporary Robert Mitchum himself, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

First of all, it’s not our fault, Dr. Way, that your parents gave you a pretentious name from Greek mythology related to a nutjob breeding sow who issued forth fourteen children and then watched as the gods cut them down one by one after mom ran her mouth about her mega-fertility. I had nothing to do with that. Nor am I at all impressed that she has spent her academic career banking money from the Facebook cartel and serving up digestible banalities which comports pretty much exactly with conventual progressive wisdom about such leftist hobby-horses as “hate crimes” and “mass violence.” Her academic expertise, such that it is, would seem to be in interpreting the lives of young boys, and she has allies in the sort of dudes who grow their hair long and write ponderous essays for Ms. magazine while conning dipshit HR administrators into having them consult on the fashionable corporate blather and blarney that has taken over all of the most excitable and delicate halls of power these days.

If that’s not enough, our own government — at least while suffering under the distracted ambit of Joe Biden — tends to agree, and in the untarnishable name of Surgeon General Vivik Murthy has crapped out a study whose conclusions are so unbelievable as to be laughable:

Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling — it harms both individual and societal health. It is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity.

I’m really not trying to score points for Team Loneliness, but I think I’ll call into question the methodology of a study which claims it’s worse to watch television alone on a Friday night than it is to smoke three-quarters of a pack of cancer sticks each and every day or to have a pizza for breakfast on Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays.

But notwithstanding all of that, I’m inviting you fellas to use the comments section below to really share your feelings and to call upon the rest of los caballeros for succor and support. Ladies, I invite you to sit mutely in respect for our struggles as men. Or else mercilessly needle us. Either way is good.

– JVW

23 Responses to “Feminist Academic Chicksplains Men’s Problems”

  1. Sorry friends, looks like my masculinity is extra-toxic today.

    JVW (c60963)

  2. New meme: Toxic Statism, as in “The Life of Julia”

    Kevin M (ed969f)

  3. I don’t really think I’d have a productive discussion with her, but if stuck in an elevator and forced to converse with Dr. Way, I’d very much like her answers to 2 questions:

    1) Is there anything she thinks men, as a group, do right?
    2) Is there anything she thinks women, as a group, do wrong TOWARDS MEN?

    (I need to make #2 more specific, because it seems clear she’d say “letting men vent their frustrations at home,” or other such things that actually are just more hate directed at men.)

    Astonishing that a professor of psychology doesn’t recognize that social behavior includes emotional support.

    Eliot (c96dec)

  4. She’s an ignoramus who could only write that nonsense from an ivory tower.

    NJRob (10eb29)

  5. As the parents of boys, we raised them to have the cowboy mentality and would have been fine if they had actually become cowboys. Men need to be strong, determined, and focused. Women, too.

    DRJ (95ee8b)

  6. God bless you, DRJ. I fear that parents like you are becoming increasingly rare. I’ve complained here for a while that we have almost thoroughly feminized K-5 education, and we’re well on our way to doing the same for grades 6-12. And higher education is now increasingly the domain of women, with almost 3 in 5 bachelors degrees being awarded to them each year, as well as now the majority of graduate degrees. I do believe that young girls face a lot of challenges growing up and need to be supported, but we’ve been pretty attentive to that for the last 30+ years. Now we need to pay attention to our boys, who continue to fall behind.

    JVW (61d333)

  7. Does everyone agree with me that the idea that being lonely is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day sounds like hogwash, or am I drastically underestimating the problem with loneliness? I mean, I’m sure there are degrees of loneliness, from not regularly pursuing companionship all the way to being a complete recluse and shut-in, and perhaps the latter truly is that much of a health problem. But that can’t account for the majority of men who report being lonely, can it?

    JVW (61d333)

  8. But that can’t account for the majority of men who report being lonely, can it?

    Nor do all men “report” being lonely. Even some apparent recluses are self-contained enough that they would never think of themselves as lonely. They have interactions (stores, work, etc) and at home they have other pursuits, such as books or hobbies, that allow them all the “companionship” (or stimulation, if you prefer) they want.

    I’ve know some engineers (a profession where high-functioning spectrum disorder is fairly common) that seem well-adjusted without ongoing relationships. Of course, they might all go home and stare at the walls, but I would be surprised.

    Kevin M (ed969f)

  9. @7

    Does everyone agree with me that the idea that being lonely is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day sounds like hogwash, or am I drastically underestimating the problem with loneliness? I mean, I’m sure there are degrees of loneliness, from not regularly pursuing companionship all the way to being a complete recluse and shut-in, and perhaps the latter truly is that much of a health problem. But that can’t account for the majority of men who report being lonely, can it?

    JVW (61d333) — 8/16/2023 @ 11:27 am

    It’s insane. Loneliness can be a problem, but I don’t think it’s systemic nor any worst than before. You can’t catch cancer simply being lonely.

    I have two boys, and I’ve raised them to be “manly” men that many feminist would scoff at.

    My eldest is in an engineering school, as a member of a frat house having a time of his life.

    My youngest is finishing out his Senior High School in a work-study doing carpentry and will join the union once he graduates, and is eager to move out with is girlfriend.

    Both exemplifies this “male toxicity” that this writer routinely rails against.

    The kids will be fine.

    whembly (5f7596)

  10. I think loneliness can be bad for your health when combined with 15 cigarettes and pizza 4X a week. There are women who try to isolate their male partner from his friends, activities and I would agree that is bad for male physical, emotional health. Nearly every guy has that male friend who got married, turned into potato shaped drone.
    The other problem with isolation is that it is harder to “play hurt” alone than as part of a team. Playing hurt can be physical, emotional or both. As time goes by, some men learn their pain thresholds in company of men and then develop the ability to play hurt when alone. Pain threshold is a skill/mindset can erode quickly in some men. If a person is enduring physical and emotional pain alone, I can see how that effects quality of life.

    steveg (9fd611)

  11. All of us, men and women, are alone at times in our lives. It can be good for us — helping us learn about who we are and what we want to be.

    But being alone us not the same as loneliness. Being lonely can cause depression and health problems, and I think men are more susceptible to this than women. That may be why married men live longer than bachelors.

    I highly doubt that loneliness is as bad for people in general as nicotine/alcohol/drug addictikns, but it is more difficult for single men who are lonely.

    DRJ (95ee8b)

  12. With the breadth of diseases that smoking can excite, it would be hard to imagine that the stress alone of loneliness would compete. Now maybe you add on additional bad habits that derive from loneliness…drinking, over eating, sedentariness, and blogging (!!!)….and maybe there is some catch up in terms of average years off of life. Add in suicide and who knows. “Inclusion” is a big buzz word for the wellness of big organizations. We’re all wired differently….I treasure my alone time.

    AJ_Liberty (5f05c3)

  13. JVW (61d333) — 8/16/2023 @ 11:27 am

    Does everyone agree with me that the idea that being lonely is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day sounds like hogwash, or am I drastically underestimating the problem with loneliness?

    It’s an example of how to lie with statistics.

    People who are objectively lonely are les likely see doctors in a serious situation, and be less well connected with the medical system, Doctors can hurt you, but they can also anticipate things.

    “Lonely” people may consist of a higher percentage of drug addicts — and smokers too!

    I mean, I’m sure there are degrees of loneliness, from not regularly pursuing companionship all the way to being a complete recluse and shut-in, and perhaps the latter truly is that much of a health problem. But that can’t account for the majority of men who report being lonely, can it?

    Sammy Finkelman (1d215a)

  14. I mean, I’m sure there are degrees of loneliness, from not regularly pursuing companionship all the way to being a complete recluse and shut-in, and perhaps the latter truly is that much of a health problem.

    It’s not a health problem in itself.

    Lonely people may also commit suicide more often, and so on.

    But that can’t account for the majority of men who report being lonely, can it?

    It doesn’t need to. All you need for this statistical effect is a slightly higher death rate – and you may have smokers in both groups.

    Sammy Finkelman (1d215a)

  15. Who cares? For some reason conservatives care about this silly social minutia when they are not worrying about transgender bathrooms or playing sports. This is what you should be worried about. For years democrats have been arguing with working class whites about why they vote republican when they support social security, medicare and education. They agree that republicans are for the wealthy establishment and about those issues ;but say the democrats want to take away my gun so I have to against every democrat on the ballot. Now democrats say they agree with republicans on crime and wokness is going to far ;but they have to vote against every rethugliKKKan on the ballot to protect abortion rights! This is what you should be worried about.

    asset (73a959)

  16. (as far as I am willing to confirm):

    HA!

    Loneliness is normal, the brain informing you of useful info, like hunger or happiness. Helplessness is what you want to watch out for – even a little can be tragic, like panic.

    felipe (5879c1)

  17. Noibe suffers from a condition once spoken about by Roseanne [I poorly paraphrase]:

    Girls, you know, the first thing you gotta do when breaking in a new boyfriend (pause for laughter), is you gotta fix all that crap their mother’s did to them.

    felipe (5879c1)

  18. note: “mother’s did” is a colloquialism for “mother has done.”

    felipe (5879c1)

  19. Who cares? For some reason conservatives care about this silly social minutia when they are not worrying about transgender bathrooms or playing sports.

    Or, you know, maybe we worry that mindless dreck from nonsense social science academics is being taken seriously and is in fact doing great harm to our society. But we know, asset, that you and your kind only care about intersectional power struggles and pseudo-intellectual claptrap that high-strung leftists are happy to accept at face value with no questions asked.

    JVW (d3ec65)

  20. happy to accept at face value with no questions asked.
    JVW (d3ec65) — 8/16/2023 @ 4:45 pm

    asset’s comments certainly seems that way, doesn’t it? Skepticism is a highly valuable practice, especially the way you practice it, JVW, and contributes to the search for truth.

    Sketicism seems to be highly frowned upon in politics (sometimes described as grandstanding) and the media (you know well how), resulting in summary dismissal from participation in the marketplace of ideas. I do not see it as irony that one commenter voices skepticism and is immediately shut down by another commenter. I see it as evidence of intellectual, moral, and spiritual rot. I include myself as an occasional practitioner.

    felipe (5879c1)

  21. She’s a misandrist. Which is acceptable in modern society. Same with being a black supremacist or anti-white racist. Both are considered tolerable opinions.

    NJRob (eb56c3)

  22. Who cares? For some reason conservatives care about this silly social minutia when they are not worrying about transgender bathrooms or playing sports. This is what you should be worried about. For years democrats have been arguing with working class whites about why they vote republican when they support social security, medicare and education. They agree that republicans are for the wealthy establishment and about those issues ;but say the democrats want to take away my gun so I have to against every democrat on the ballot. Now democrats say they agree with republicans on crime and wokness is going to far ;but they have to vote against every rethugliKKKan on the ballot to protect abortion rights! This is what you should be worried about.

    asset (73a959) — 8/16/2023 @ 3:24 pm

    asset, do you know why blogs typically give each post its own comment thread, as opposed to having one continuous comment thread for all posts?

    It’s about topics, and staying on them. Capiche?

    lurker (cd7cd4)


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