[guest post from JVW]
Here is the latest post from your Patterico’s Pontifications campaign merchandise correspondent, me.
I have just been made aware that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has her own merchandising store. No, you can’t get replica pens with her embossed signature like the ones used in signing the Articles of Impeachment then handed out as souvenirs, but you can purchase all sorts of items with her schoolmarm neat autograph (a replica autograph and not the real McCoy for you, plebe), as well as many other items with a “Yassss Queen!” vibe suitable to the female leader of a gaggle of elderly timeserving hacks, painfully woke nincompoops, and callow social media influencers who have somehow found themselves elected to office. But just in time for the coming election, her team has coughed up some apparel so breathtakingly ugly that it seems like it is almost an epic joke being played on the social justice hipsters whom we all believe Wicked Aunt Nancy secretly despises:
But gosh, gang, they express the universal and nonpartisan exhortation to vote — sorry, Vote — so even those marking their ballot for the Glowing Orange or for some third-party loser can purchase those overpriced odes to democracy! And because they are in fact nonpartisan, we can proudly wear them to the polling place to cast our votes, even if we’re actually going to cast them at home this year and then present them to the nice young purple-haired gender-nonconforming person with the eleven eyelid piercings whom the DNC thoughtfully sends to our door to collect and deliver our ballot. As to the pricing for this limited-edition collector’s item that will always remind us of that fantastic year 2020, well, I’ve seen worse.
Supplies are limited; make sure to order right away.