Patterico's Pontifications


A 20-Year-Old Girl for President

Filed under: General — JVW @ 12:56 pm

[guest post by JVW]

Of course our dreary, old, and confusing Constitution won’t allow that, so the next best thing would be to vote for the hilarious Ryan Long, whose campaign platform promises to govern according to the standard opinions of a sophomore college coed. After all, as he rightly points out, Joe Biden “has 20-year-old girl talking points” and Donald Trump “is like a 20-year-old girl on Twitter.”

The agenda promised needs some work, but it wouldn’t be entirely unrecognizable to Our Daffy Socialist Niece and her friends: use high-interest credit cards to finance the national debt because, like, five years is a long ways away; end homelessness by giving every homeless person a million dollars; free mental therapy in which you learn that nothing wrong in your life is your own fault; and the criminalization of “being a meanie.” It makes about as much sense as anything else in his crazy and stupid year.

UPDATE: It occurs to me that Ryan Long might not be familiar to everyone. He’s obviously a comedian, and here is an amazing video he released a couple of months ago:


10 Responses to “A 20-Year-Old Girl for President”

  1. Note the subtle use of certain celebrities in the video.

    JVW (ee64e4)

  2. end homelessness by giving every homeless person a million dollars

    Can I have the MD 20/20, Thunderbird and crack concessions near skid row?

    Kevin M (ab1c11)

  3. If we give every person a home, we will end homelessness.

    If we give every person a job, we will end joblessness.

    The opportunities are limitless…

    Hoi Polloi (dc4124)

  4. In real politic news democrats have got the green party kicked off the ballot in wisconsin while complaining about republican vote suppression. In montana democrats have contacted voters who have signed petitions to put green party on ballot and throated to doxx them if they don’t rescind their signatures. In michigan and pennsylvania the democrat party is trying to stop the green party from getting on the ballot. Talk about vote suppression!

    asset (afee05)

  5. @ 3

    If we give every person a job, we will end joblessness.

    There was once a comedy show on Broadway, where a politician declaimed “the reason for high unemployment is that there is a lack of jobs.”

    Bored Lawyer (7b72ec)


    This is the impact to voters in violent wracked cities.

    Three-out-of-four voters who’ve had violent anti-police protests in their community rate those protests important to their vote in the presidential election. Among these voters, a sizable majority like the job President Trump is doing.

    whembly (c30c83)

  7. Like whatever. I can’t even.

    nk (1d9030)

  8. A fair response to Dan McLaughlin, Danielle Pletka and other folks who NeverTrumped in 2016 and are YesTrumping in 2020. The title:

    I never considered voting for Trump in 2016. I may be scared into voting for him this year because of my exaggerated fears.

    Because McLaughlin et al engaged in a War on Hyperbole and in eliciting the irrational and wrong fear that the choice is between Trump and socialism.

    Paul Montagu (cad685)

  9. I was once a 20-year old girl. Basing anything meaningful on the whims of a 20-year old girl is generally, a very unwise thing to do.

    But here we are.

    Dana (292df6)

  10. @ 6

    Just read today that in Lancaster PA they arrested rioters and held them on substantial bail. And in Pittrburgh, they charged protestors who harrased elderly restaurant goers with various crimes (probably misdemeanors).

    So when law enforcement is determined and not in bed with the rioters, then they can be controlled. Pennsylvania seems to have more respect for law and the rights of all than some other places.

    Bored Lawyer (7b72ec)

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