Patterico's Pontifications

3/19/2020

Aloha ‘Oe, Warrior Princess

Filed under: General — JVW @ 10:22 pm



[guest post by JVW]

Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard, forever and always My Little Aloha Sweetie, announced earlier today that she is ending her campaign to be the next President of the United States.

Listen to her announcement; it’s worth the five minutes of your time. Sure, I joked a great deal about my crush on the Congresswoman and I would be Fauxcahontas-level lying to you if I tried to claim that I don’t find Congresswoman Gabbard to be quite attractive, from her rich Island beauty invoking the Goddess Pele; to the dulcet tones of her voice, as pleasing to the ear as the soft song of the Puaiohi heard over gently rolling ocean waves; to her graceful and elegant bearing, appropriate for an athlete and soldier. When she stares into the camera it’s as if she is looking deep into my soul, healing all of my pain and exciting in me such an overwhelming feeling of–

Uh, what point was I trying to make?

Oh yeah.

Anyway, I know that her affection for big government runs counter to pretty much everything I have ever written on this blog, and while I greatly respect her pacifist and non-interventionist foreign policy as being heartfelt and authentic, I do have to grit my teeth at her rather blasé reaction to some of the world’s worst tyrants. I’m sure that if we were to sit down to discuss domestic and international policy I would find myself disagreeing with much of what she had to say as I stared deeply into those coconut brown eyes which haunt my dreams with desires of such longing–

[Dammit, man. Focus!]

The point of this being that even though I would disagree with much of what she says, I don’t think that she would readily dismiss me as some sort of neanderthal right-wing nutjob, in the way that the rest of her fellow candidates — with perhaps Andrew Yang exempted — would. Though she has pretty much garden-variety progressive left opinions, she distinguished herself on the campaign trail by not venturing out to the far fringes of social policy where her party’s center seems to have gravitated. Alone among the candidates — again, with perhaps the exception of Andrew Yang — Congresswoman Gabbard expressed some trepidation with late-term abortion, and suggested that the entire practice was not something to be “celebrated” or “shouted,” but should be considered a necessary evil. When Rush Limbaugh announced his cancer diagnosis, Tulsi Gabbard put aside the ideological warring to wish him well. Unlike a Nancy Pelosi or a Chuck Schumer or a Gavin Newsom, to name but a few, she was one Democrat who didn’t have contempt for those who had different beliefs from her own.

And of course I will be forever grateful that she ended the candidacy of the obnoxious Kamala Harris, realizing that unlike her friend Bernard Sanders she had the guts to go toe-to-toe with Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren and call both of them out on their mendacious bullstuff. It’s no wonder the Democrat Party hated her so.

As I said three-plus years ago, it would be a great idea for President Trump to bring her into his cabinet, should he win reelection later this year. She was allegedly considered for Donald Trump’s first cabinet, even perhaps for Secretary of State. I think I would offer her something more along the lines of Secretary of Veterans Affairs, but if President Trump needs a token Democrat for his cabinet he couldn’t do any better. Of course the President would have to swallow his pride and accept a woman who has harshly criticized him, although he can take heart that she refused to vote in favor of his impeachment. She would support President Trump’s reluctance to intervene in overseas affairs, though she would almost certainly try to move him to the big government left in domestic affairs. He would have to be strong to resist her island charms lest he start going all Green Mountain Gramsci on us. Speaking of Comrade Candidate, I would be interested in seeing if the foolish old Marxist would vote in favor of her nomination.

I’m glad that Tulsi Gabbard ran for President. She was a welcome break from the Ivy League overachievers, the mediocre lifelong “public servants,” and the riff-raff from the financial and dot-com worlds. I hope we see her reemerge in a leadership position in the next administration, no matter who the chief executive is, and I hope that both of our major parties can attract interesting, even unconventional, candidates such as My Little Aloha Sweetie.

– JVW

21 Responses to “Aloha ‘Oe, Warrior Princess”

  1. Well, I suppose that pretty much wraps up the election of 2020 for me. I guess I’ll just devote the rest of my blogging to bitching about the California High-Speed Rail Authority.

    JVW (54fd0b)

  2. This is a terrific post! Hilarious and informative, and with a keen insight into where someone like her might find a place in a future administration. I really respected her boldness in bucking the Party by making a stand against late-term abortions. I agree entirely with your assessment of her, although I wouldn’t get lost in her coconut brown eyes. But I understand how you might, er, would…

    Dana (4fb37f)

  3. I will be forever grateful that she ended the candidacy of the obnoxious Kamala Harris, realizing that unlike her friend Bernard Sanders she had the guts to go toe-to-toe with Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren and call both of them out on their mendacious bullstuff.

    The enemy of the enemy is my friend (regardless of all her otherwise anti-conservative views).

    That’s how I justify my nose-held vote for Trump. That, and the fact that he actually could defeat said enemy.

    Matador (0284e8)

  4. It’s no wonder the Democrat Party hated her so.

    Do we know whether ANY other women voted for her?

    LOL.

    Dave (1bb933)

  5. I started watching the video and … what were we talking about?

    frosty (f27e97)

  6. Great post. I’m glad you were the one to comment on this development.

    Patterico (115b1f)

  7. JVW,

    Did you just commit a Title IX violation against Tulsi Gabbard?

    norcal (a5428a)

  8. Did you just commit a Title IX violation against Tulsi Gabbard?

    I sure hope ASU isn’t called upon to make that determination.

    JVW (54fd0b)

  9. Touche!

    norcal (a5428a)

  10. But John Kerry can windsurf. 😉

    DCSCA (797bc0)

  11. Next stop-a gig at Sputnik News or RT interviewing fellow travelers Jill Stein, Edward Snowden, or Bernie Sanders and hobnobbing with Putin.

    RipMurdock (18cf88)

  12. Something tells me she’ll keep her dance card open until Pappa Joe chooses his running mate.

    Although I think she would be a disastrous choice (even when she was polling at 2-3% nationally, she had like 0.0% support from women).

    Another victim of sex discrimination!

    Dave (1bb933)

  13. You’re going to love her when she’s on Fox.

    Time123 (ca85c9)

  14. Dave (1bb933) — 3/20/2020 @ 3:48 am

    Another victim of sex discrimination!

    Is it sex discrimination or gender bias? I think I need to review the video … what were we talking about again?

    frosty (f27e97)

  15. She’s a left-wing Democrat with a few conservative positions. Why would any R bring her into the Cabinet? She’s going nowhere, since the Liberal/Left has a lock on the party and she’s been labeled a Russian Agent by Hillary.

    rcocean (1a839e)

  16. #StandWithTulsi. The tango is not the only vertical expression of a horizontal desire.

    nk (1d9030)

  17. She’s a left-wing Democrat with a few conservative positions. Why would any R bring her into the Cabinet? She’s going nowhere, since the Liberal/Left has a lock on the party and she’s been labeled a Russian Agent by Hillary.

    rcocean (1a839e) — 3/20/2020 @ 6:05 am

    The AOC wing doesn’t like her. So this would upset AOC, that alone is reason for Trump to do it. He could also use her to say there is bi-partisans support for whatever verbal tick he makes lately.

    Time123 (797615)

  18. There’s a Greek song for everything (with nice seascapes too):

    Eyes like yours, [Tulsi],
    They’re not in the common herd
    And who kisses them sweetly
    Will fear Charon nevermore.

    Let me kiss them sweetly
    So I can find the cure
    For the burning in my bosom
    Kindled by your allure.

    nk (1d9030)

  19. It’s nice to have a place like this, where you can work out your feelings about Ms. Gabbard, JVW. 🙂
    It’s sad to see her go. If Nikki Haley could be a UN Ambassador, then why not Gabbard in the Biden administration.

    Paul Montagu (df60ed)

  20. She’s a left-wing Democrat with a few conservative positions. Why would any R bring her into the Cabinet?

    If she were Secretary of Veteran’s Affairs, I think she would do a great job advocating on their behalf. I don’t think that position requires someone who is a free market disciple or a social conservative.

    JVW (54fd0b)

  21. Why would any person with a gag reflex want to be in Trump’s cabinet?

    nk (1d9030)


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