Sunday Funnies From The Stable Genius, Sleepy Joe, And I-Just-Gotta-Yell Sanders
[guest post by Dana]
I’m annoyed. And it’s an altogether unbecoming look. Especially as this is the Lenten season and I made a decision to follow the lead of a friend and give up the 3 C’s: chips, criticizing, and complaining. But while I want to remain committed to my commitment, I just need a second to get this off my chest (but I’m still on track with the chips, so thumbs up, God!): The fate of our nation currently rests in the hands of two, maybe three old white guys, with only one of them winning the final contest. We’re looking at two old white guys who no longer seem capable of coherent trains of thought, or speech, or honesty, and inevitably ramble into the brambles of confusion and lies – without even batting an eye. It’s a disappointing game of Guess-what-I-really-meant Bingo. Disappointing because no one really ever gets Bingo!, and instead find themselves scratching their heads in confusion as they hold their empty Bingo cards, wondering What the hell was that?? Of course, if they’re loyalists, they will pretend that not only did they understand the word salad, but are in complete agreement with it too. And while the third old white guy in the mix still seems lucid and able to string sentences together in a coherent manner, he just keeps yelling, and yelling, and YELLING at us about what failures we are, without understanding that his proposals will doom us to real and lasting failure. He reminds me of a cantankerous grump sitting on his front porch and yelling at everyone to get off his lawn. The problem is, he doesn’t understand that, according to his own lights, that lawn belongs to everyone, including those walking on it. I just want him to pipe the heck down!
Honestly, 2024 can’t come soon enough.
At the end of his interview w/ Chris Wallace, Joe Biden boasts that he’s not “sleepy,” then thanks “Chuck” for the questions
“It’s Chris, but anyway.”
"No, I just did Chuck. I tell you what, man, these are back-to-back, anyway, I don’t know how you do it early in the AM" pic.twitter.com/jOx7jKnCh9
— Tom Elliott (@tomselliott) March 1, 2020
Trump at CPAC: “Joe’s not going to be running the government. He’s just going to be sitting in a home some place, and people are going to be running it for him.”
Biden: Is that the stable genius saying that? Oh, give me a break. God, love him. I’m going to resist saying what I feel like saying.
Wallace: No, go ahead. Don’t resist it. Go ahead, Mr. Vice President.
Biden: No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to try to assign names and insults to the stable genius. This is a guy who doesn’t know what he’s doing. He doesn’t know how to run the country. He is making us more unsafe the way he’s responding to the coronavirus. He has done virtually nothing well as far as I can see, and so I can hardly wait to debate him on stage. I want people to see me standing next to him and him standing next to me. We’ll see who’s sleepy.
Wallace: Mr. Vice President. Thank you. Thanks for your time. Please come back in less than 13 years, sir.
Biden: Alright, Chuck. Thank you very much
Wallace: Alright, It’s Chris, but anyway.
Biden: Chris, I just did Chris. No, no, I just did Chuck. I tell you what, man. These are back-to-back. Anyway, I don’t know how you do it early in the morning too. Thank you Chris.
I swear, if Biden and Trump end up on the debate stage together, there better be some serious double-dog-daring going on, only to be followed by feats of strength and Indian leg wrestling right then and there. And Bernie can yell at them from the front row. If this doesn’t happen, I am going to be mighty disappointed, because if I have to spend months listening to the lies and tall tales of Sleepy Joe and the Stable Genius, I expect there to be some serious entertainment value included in the deal. After all, they’re asking for my vote. And you gotta give to get. But honestly, that vote-getting is looking pretty dismal right about now.
–Dana