“In This Today, I Get To Live Well”
[guest post by Dana]
Kara Tippetts, the woman who urged Brittany Maynard to reconsider her decision to take her own life before inoperable brain cancer took it, is now herself close to death. She has been in hospice care since December.
As you might recall, in supporting Maynard’s choice for physician-assisted suicide, Maynard’s husband and mother moved with Maynard to Oregon where physician-assisted suicide laws are in place. Tippetts had urged Maynard to see death and suffering through the eyes of faith:
“Dear heart, we simply disagree,” Tippetts wrote. “Suffering is not the absence of goodness, it is not the absence of beauty, but perhaps it can be the place where true beauty can be known. In your choosing your own death, you are robbing those that love you with the such tenderness, the opportunity of meeting you in your last moments and extending you love in your last breaths.
A family friend has made a film about Tippets and her struggle and resolve to yield to God. The trailer gives viewers a glimpse of Tippets’ family and the love that envelops her:
As the debate continues in the US about the laws for legal protections for terminally ill patients who want doctor-assisted suicide, over at Patheos, Wesley J. Smith looks at family-supported suicide, and asks:
Is it right or wrong to support a loved one’s suicide? This seems to be one of those issues, increasingly prevalent in our society, about which debate is not possible: The answer depends on one’s overarching worldview.
Some will believe that their duty is to support their family member’s choice, come what may. Others, including this writer, believe that supporting suicide is an abandonment that validates loved ones’ worst fears about themselves—that they are a burden, unworthy of love, or truly better off dead.
Arguing that family-supported suicide harms society, he suggests that it “furthers the normalization of hastened death as a proper response to human suffering.” In other words, a duty-to-die mentality will increasingly pressure the afflicted, disabled and elderly to do their duty to family and society by ending their lives before their situations cause financial and emotional hardships for loved ones. Sacrificing for the greater good. Could it become the expectation of “love” in our society?
No, a day won’t come when the euthanasia police kick down doors and force unwanted lethal injections upon the sick and elderly. But legal compulsion isn’t the only way to push people out of the lifeboat. The more public support families and friends give their ill or debilitated loved ones’ suicides, the greater the prospect that a moral duty to die will become culturally legitimate.
Regardless of where one falls on the argument of assisted suicide, it’s a good and wise thing to take Tippets’ words to heart in quiet thanksgiving:
“This is the today I have been given, and in this today, I get to live well.”
–Dana
Hello.
Dana (86e864) — 3/21/2015 @ 5:14 pmHeartbreaking and soul-building, all at the same time. Thank you for this post, Dana.
Simon Jester (f1e8ac) — 3/21/2015 @ 5:45 pmVaya con Dios, Kara. I am glad that you are leaving earthy life in the way you wanted, just as Brittany was able to leave life as she chose. There is no doubt in my mind that your family and friends love and support you just as Brittany’s family and friends so clearly did for her. End of life decisions for ourselves and for others are painful and personal. I wish we could leave it at that.
elissa (67292b) — 3/21/2015 @ 5:47 pmthis makes no sense
with assisted suicide you still have last breaths what can be as chock full of love as you want
that’s not even a thought problem it’s just obvious
happyfeet (831175) — 3/21/2015 @ 6:00 pmEnd of life decisions for ourselves and for others are painful and personal. I wish we could leave it at that.
I now tend to believe that’s how it should be, elissa, but given the nation is divided over laws allowing essentially that, it’s not how it is, nor will it be.
Dana (86e864) — 3/21/2015 @ 6:09 pmMarrying and having children gave me a deeper understanding of love, and I suspect I will never completely understand love until I (hopefully) join God. I also developed a deeper appreciation for peace, love, and family in dealing with cancer, but it only came after many months of suffering.Maybe other people don’t need suffering to pull themselves away from “me” but I think they are rare.
DRJ (e80d46) — 3/21/2015 @ 6:26 pmLook, the simple fact is, we are not “living naturally” any longer. We live on when the NATURAL thing to do was to have long since died. Society, until recently, simply could not AFFORD to make the efforts needed to keep someone alive an extra six months… when that costs thousands, tens of thousands, even hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Keeping — more critically FORCING — someone to remain alive when the pain is telling them to quit and let go — is flat out wrong.
This is a choice between them and GOD, and neither society nor The State has any business stepping into the matter.
That’s the Devil’s work, not God’s. If God wants them to remain alive, HE will provide adequate reason for them. To fail to have Faith in His power to act is … a lack of YOUR Faith in Him, not theirs.
It’s one thing to convince someone to continue fighting… It’s another thing entirely to use the power of government to deny someone the right to quit.
Or maybe it just hurts enough to be tired of the fight…. Naw. Can’t be.
This is between the individual and God, no one else. The State — and yes, society — needs to butt the fuck out.
IGotBupkis, "Si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses." (225d0d) — 3/21/2015 @ 7:53 pmNo, a day won’t come when the euthanasia police kick down doors…
phunctor (14c87a) — 3/22/2015 @ 12:13 amYou sure of that? Consider Wickard v Fillmore and its talus slope of devastation.
The national socialist party of Germany, practiced government assisted suicide with with their disabled population quite extensively prior to WWII. That was because the disabled were a burden on society and not the perfect aryan race. That would be the leftist socialist party,
joe (debac0) — 3/22/2015 @ 6:12 amIf you ‘need’ a doctor’s assistance to murder yourself, you are one weak, pathetic soul.
Why would any caring individual place anyone – doctor or not – in that position?
So-called ‘doctor assisted suicide’ is not ‘death with dignity’, it is one last show-boating hurrah of a cowardly person.
I’m not saying people shouldn’t make that choice if they only have bad choices. I’ve ALREADY made my personal choice should I ever be faced with making that call.
The idea of some stage-managed extravaganza of death, however? No thank you! All I need is a nice view of a sunset then my remains are headed to the body-farm in Knoxville in accordance with the explanation and instructions in the clearly marked envelope that will be nearby.
MJN1957 (f1b2f0) — 3/22/2015 @ 7:49 amEven making a collective decision to not re-insert a feeding tube, or honor DNR wishes is extraordinarily heart-breaking. I guess we should consider ourselves fortunate that nobody outside of our family tried to insert their wishes into the process. Should I ever go through that again, it will be too soon.
JD (86a5eb) — 3/22/2015 @ 8:03 amIf you ‘need’ a doctor’s assistance to murder yourself, you are one weak, pathetic soul.
this is not particularly true really, not in real life
happyfeet (831175) — 3/22/2015 @ 8:20 amNo, a day won’t come when the euthanasia police kick down doors and force unwanted lethal injections upon the sick and elderly.
No, the ER doctor will not admit the patient to ICU or call the hospitalist to intubate the patent who cannot breathe adequately. That is what has been happening in The Netherlands for 25 years. There are certain categories of patients who are allowed to die with no attempt to obtain their consent. A Dutch ER doc who admits an emphysema patient to ICU for respiratory failure loses his job. That’s it. None of this “consent” stuff. This is a slippery slope that is not being discussed honestly.
I have allowed patients to die after discussion and determining their views. Some, I have made comfortable and shut down the IV fluid to minimums to keep the nurses from getting alarmed. My professor of surgery had some private patients who were end stage breast cancer cases who he treated with steroids as a final attempt at comfort. When they got so bad they had to be hospitalized, he “forgot” to order continued steroids and they quickly faded away of adrenal insufficiency. That was always done with discussion with the family and the patient.
I have asked patients and families if they really wanted me to do this futile procedure, which was sometimes painful. I have had families vote 3 to 2 to continue IV fluid in a terminal parent.
I had a son fire me for doing a tracheotomy on his very ill father. The father was NOT dying with malignant disease, he was ill with a gangrenous gallbladder and the balloon on his endotracheal tube had ruptured. The son had told me that he did not want “special treatment done” but the respirator was standard care. The trach was done as an emergency since to extubate and reintubate would have been very dangerous.The son called me at home and my wife heard me ask him, “Do you want me to put a pillow over his face ?” She came out of the kitchen and asked, “What the hell was that ?”
I told the son that I would allow them to find another physician who would do what they wanted (Take the father off the respirator) but until they did, I would continue to do what was needed. It took them about three days to find one and by that time, the father was able to come off the respirator and survive. A week later, the family asked me to come back. He went home to New Jersey a month later,.
Mike K (90dfdc) — 3/22/2015 @ 8:58 amThese are such grievous and heart-rending cases.
Therefore, the choices on how to deal with them are better left to the individuals involved.
For our “suffering is ennobling” crowd, that means the one doing the suffering gets to decide how much “ennobling” he/she wants (whether that “ennobling” is thought to redound to the family or to the individual).
Everybody is free to have their own opinions, of course, but it’s the person doing the suffering who should have the choice. [ AND, the everlovin’ State should keep its grubby paws out of the process….]
A_Nonny_Mouse (4c56b9) — 3/22/2015 @ 10:43 amIt’s the proverbial camel’s nose under the tent.
Example is the Netherlands, where it all started – at least legally. Doctors now routinely make the determination without even consulting families or informing them.
They don’t have to knock down the door if they can just walk into your hospital room.
Estragon (ada867) — 3/22/2015 @ 1:35 pmthis is not particularly true really, not in real life
happy,
Come’on! Unless you are in some indeterminate wilderness area, within a single mile from wherever you are there are innumerable ways to facilitate the death of oneself. Some will be pharmaceutical, some will be mechanical, some may be a combination (Heavens Gate?), many will be of the ‘no drama – no trauma’ variety, but ALL will be effective.
I have yet to know of a terminally ill person who doesn’t have the means at hand at all times well before their end-time reaches the final phase (in the form of narcotic medications if nothing else).
Again, my position isn’t about anyone NOT making that decision for themselves, I’ve already made my decision should I ever receive a terminal diagnosis. It is about not burdening others with their decision, but MUCH more not making a circus of it.
MJN1957 (f1b2f0) — 3/22/2015 @ 2:36 pmIs there any method of inducing brain death, while keeping the rest of the body alive?
Michael Ejercito (d9a893) — 3/22/2015 @ 5:08 pmMr. 1957 dementia for example makes offing yourself very very difficult, and i suppose that’s one of my greatest fears, that I’ll wait too long and lose my choices
but there’s also a horrific and ghastly array of enfeeblings people can experience – sometimes as a result of fighting the good fight with aggressive treatments what leave them hopelessly incapacitated
happyfeet (831175) — 3/22/2015 @ 5:16 pmHappyfeet, Glen Campbell is way ahead of you.
I’m Not Gonna Miss You
I’m still here, but yet I’m gone
I don’t play guitar or sing my songs
They never defined who I am
The man that loves you ’til the end
You’re the last person I will love
You’re the last face I will recall
And best of all, I’m not gonna miss you
Not gonna miss you
I’m never gonna hold you like I did
Or say I love you to the kids
You’re never gonna see it in my eyes
It’s not gonna hurt me when you cry
I’m never gonna know what you go through
All the things I say or do
All the hurt and all the pain
One thing selfishly remains
I’m not gonna miss you
I’m not gonna miss you
Songwriters
felipe (56556d) — 3/22/2015 @ 5:35 pmRAYMOND, JULIAN / CAMPBELL, GLEN
oh man that’s stark
happyfeet (831175) — 3/22/2015 @ 5:42 pmSo, WHO is this steaming pile-of-presumption who asserts the right to judge me and my friends by the melanin-content of our skin instead of the content of our character?
A_Nonny_Mouse (dbc2d9) — 3/23/2015 @ 10:10 amAy-ay-ay! #21 is comment on wrong thread — it was for dum-dum Starbucks dude who wants to know how many other-race friends I’ve collected in order to prove my non-racist-ness!
Apologies!
A_Nonny_Mouse (dbc2d9) — 3/23/2015 @ 10:31 am