Patterico's Pontifications


A Vital Accessory in These Modern Times

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 12:15 pm

Simon Jester sends this link to a Home Depot item that has to be seen to be believed:

Screen Shot 2015-01-18 at 12.11.18 PM

From the reviews:

It’s a great device to multitask your every day routines. Now I don’t have to clean my Ipad as much. It also tilts upwords so there’s no more worries about dropping it in the toilet for when I’m standing. Love it.

I wish I could tell if this person is serious or not. If not, five points for understated humor.

But I think they’re serious.

24 Responses to “A Vital Accessory in These Modern Times”

  1. Yes, but my wife insists I tilt it down when I’m done.

    Kevin M (25bbee)

  2. Ding!!

    Kevin M (25bbee)

  3. Sometimes the reviews on Amazon are meant to be funny, like these about a plastic banana slicer:

    Which takes me to one of my favorites, from Yelp, about an Indian restaurant:

    We all need to smile more, Patterico. Glad I could make you chuckle.

    Simon Jester (dd0c72)

  4. It seem like a little attached holder for hand sanitizer would greatly improve this item’s functionality.

    elissa (dc39ef)

  5. The image of a roll of toilet paper calls to mind one of the grand paradises that people like the US’s current president (or champagne socialists and variations thereof worldwide) find so difficult, if not outright impossible, to truly criticize, much less to be truly appalled by and indignant about.

    Reuters, January 14, 2015: Governors in three Venezuelan states have banned overnight queuing amid huge and sometimes rowdy lines around shops across the scarcity-plagued country.
    Shortages of basic consumer products from milk to toilet paper have worsened since a lull in distribution over the Christmas and New Year holidays, prompting many to wait from the early hours on foot – or in hammocks – before shops open.

    The ubiquitous lines and frequent jostling for places when shop doors finally open are an embarrassment and irritation to Venezuelans across the political spectrum.

    The shortages have hurt the popularity of President Nicolas Maduro, which hit 22 percent in December, according to local pollster Datanalisis. Foes say 15 years of “Bolivarian socialism” under his rule and that of his predecessor Hugo Chavez are to blame for Venezuela’s economic recession, the highest inflation in the Americas, and shortages.

    But Maduro, 52, says a wealthy elite and opposition activists encouraged by Washington and foreign media are seeking an “economic coup” via hoarding and price-gouging. “It’s a strategy to try and upset the people and turn them to extremes, to destabilize the country,” Maduro told the Telesur TV network late on Tuesday during a visit to Algeria.

    Human nature isn’t vastly different in Venezuela compared with what exists in the US, Asia or Europe. It’s only a matter of degrees, and a warning to the wary, even more so since the case of Obama still not being as unpopular in polls — even at this late date — as George W Bush was really does move the needle of the gauge closer to the idea of “if it can happen there, it can happen here, it can happen anywhere.”

    Mark (c160ec)

  6. Simon – I think the Home Depot link needs a few more customer reviews IYKWIMAITTYD.

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  7. Yeah, that was the first thing I thought of, too, Mark.

    elissa (dc39ef)

  8. about dropping it in the toilet for when I’m standing.
    Wait. what… who poops standing up? Apart from the French, of course.

    Gazzer (c44509)

  9. “Wait. what… who poops standing up? Apart from the French, of course.”

    Gazzer – Upper Deckers. Take the lid off the tank and sky one in.

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  10. I sent the link to my brother, who commented, “Add a cupholder and a snack tray and make it really disturbing.”

    Dave (in MA) (db43c0)

  11. Make a nice guitar stand, because I often get the urge to strum while doing my business.

    papertiger (c2d6da)

  12. If that is an Apple device shown in the photo, then this apparatus is redundant.

    David Longfellow (c241d2)

  13. Available on Amazon, with questions and reviews:

    Top questions:

    Q: As it would be unsanitary to use my fingers on the iPad while crapping, is it ok to use my tongue for iPad input?

    A: You have 2 hands, one to wipe and one to swipe, right??

    Q: Does it feet for iPad mini?

    A: I believe it feets all iPad products. However if it doesn’t feet jour Ipad mini, maybe ju can call dem for a refund, senor.

    Kevin M (25bbee)

  14. My wife and I are wondering how many inadvertent and inappropriate selfies will result from this.

    MD in Philly (f9371b)

  15. A pron stand in every bathroom is a constitutional right!

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  16. I’m thinking that this is a comment about what is available on the internet, excluding, of course, Patterico’s Pontifications and The First Street Journal.

    The obvious Dana (1b79fa)

  17. Gazzer wrote:

    Wait. what… who poops standing up? Apart from the French, of course.

    The French have a separate model, which swivels from toilet to bidet.

    The Francophile Dana (1b79fa)

  18. Our Philadelphia physician wrote:

    My wife and I are wondering how many inadvertent and inappropriate selfies will result from this.

    What makes you think that they’d be inadvertent?

    The Dana on Twitter (1b79fa)

  19. Great when using to hold sheet music! I nailed great vocals on “Standing on Shaky Ground” and on the old song “Troglodyte”, a growling masterpiece that’s among my best work. Two smudged thumbs up!

    Colonel Haiku (2601c0)

  20. Someone inform Carlos Danger, stat.

    Gazzer (c44509)

  21. The Colonel wrote:

    Great when using to hold sheet music!

    I saw what you did there. 🙂

    The Dana who noticed (1b79fa)

  22. The gag gift for 2015. And I like the idea (@10) of a cup holder and snack tray to make it complete.

    LTMG (94c4c3)

  23. Well, re selfies, it turns out that now you actually need a specialized accessory. I think these two items could be marketed together, though.

    Beldar (fa637a)

  24. Then there’s the selfie that wasn’t a selfie, but the person in the picture had to pretend, because of Hezbollah and other considerations, that the picture of her was taken unknowingly.

    A Lebanese beauty queen pleaded self-ie defense after a Facebook pic of her posing with an Israeli pageant competitor caused outrage in Lebanon, which forbids its citizens from fraternizing with Israelis and is threatening to disqualify her.

    “Since the first day of my arrival to participate to Miss Universe, I was very cautious to avoid being in any photo or communication with Miss Israel ([who] tried several times to have a photo with me),” this year’s Miss Lebanon Saly Greige, who​ is set to compete in ​the Miss Universe contest​ in Miami​ on Jan. 25, wrote on her Facebook.

    The green-eyed brunette begged fans back home for their continued support in spite of a photo that Miss Israel, Doron Matalon, posted online that showed the two beauties of warring nations smiling side-by-side.

    Most of her followers posted positive comments after the apology, but her government may not be as forgiving.

    In 1993, the country stripped its Miss Lebanon, Ghada al-Turk, of her title after Agence France Press distributed a photo of her smiling arm-in-arm with her Israeli contender.

    This time around, the Lebanese government has vowed to “launch an investigation” and will decide this week whether the offensive photo will get her crown snapped, too.

    That’s exactly what Miss Israel was shooting for, said Miss Lebanon’s delusional agent, who likened the beauty to a stealthy saboteur, stalking his client with her camera drawn before she “photo-bombed” Greige standing with Miss Japan and Miss Slovenia, according to Lebanese media.

    Sammy Finkelman (e806a6)

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