Patterico's Pontifications

1/22/2014

Women Taking Their Husbands’ Names, and Extra Points in Football

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 7:30 am



Politics is boring again today, so how about a couple of topics about the culture? (Don’t worry: everything is still lifted from Hot Air, as usual.)

First: should women take their husbands’ names? A piece by Mollie Hemingway argues, among other things:

How is using the name your father and his patriarchal privilege forced on you somehow less oppressive than taking the name of the man you chose to be your husband and the father of your children?

I told Mrs. P. it didn’t matter to me whether she kept her name or not; I was used to her the way I met her, and part of me didn’t want to change that. But she changed her name so there would be less confusion when we had kids. It was the right choice for us.

Second: should the NFL eliminate extra point kicks after touchdowns? The NFL commissioner says maybe:

“You want to add excitement with every play,” Goodell said. “So there have been some proposals. Some are still going through the process of creativity, but there’s one proposal in particular that I’ve heard about (where) it’s automatic that you get seven points when you score a touchdown, but you could potentially go for an eighth point, either by running or passing the ball. But if you fail, you’d go back to six.”

Allahpundit notes that this would barely be different from what we already have, and proposes a more interesting idea:

If you want to liven up the PAT [point after touchdown], there’s an obvious solution: Move it way, way back. TDs would remain six points but afterward coaches would have a choice. Either go for two from the two-yard line or try a 45-yard kick for the extra point. If your goal is more excitement then you should be increasing the incentive for teams to try two-point conversions by decreasing the incentive for them to kick instead — and if they do kick, you want some real suspense in whether they’ll make it. I’d be all for it, but I realize that the first time a team loses by a point because their kicker missed the PAT by six feet, their fans would be screaming bloody murder and demanding the return of the chip-shot PAT. That’s why we can’t have nice things, America.

My solution would be: don’t mess with football. Sometimes the best solution is to leave it be.

What say you?

P.S. I realize the topics are not particularly related. If you want related topics in a single post, I’m gonna have to demand a raise.

67 Responses to “Women Taking Their Husbands’ Names, and Extra Points in Football”

  1. I am in agreement with Allah Pundit on the 45 yard extra point. I’d move the 2 pointer back to 3 yards, though. And in the end, it doesn’t matter. I’m watching less and less Pro Football anyway. The men are too large and too fast. And they are too immoral, too rich, too conceited… They interest me less and less every year.

    dfbaskwill (a55c84)

  2. In some cultures, a person takes the last name of both the father and the mother. For example, when you see a Spanish person named First name, surname X y surname Y, the two surnames are his mother’s and fathers.

    This in fact was quite common in America about a century ago. Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s mother was a Delano, and John Fitzgerald Kennedy’s mother was a Fitzgerald.

    Bored Lawyer (badb9a)

  3. What they need to eliminate from football is measuring for a first down. To an engineer, this is the stupidest thing in all of sports. You get the chain crew out there, stretching the chains and measuring very precisely the position of a ball that has been spotted by eye. It’s laughable.

    Chuck Bartowski (11fb31)

  4. The general Greek tradition is: The child, whether boy or girl, has the father’s first name as his or her middle name in the possessive, and the father’s last name in the nominative if it’s a boy and in the possessive if it’s a girl. When a woman gets married she replaces her father’s names, middle and last, with her husband’s, still in the possessive. We didn’t do it like that. My wife kept her name. Our daughter has my name. The American way, no middle name at all and no genitive declension of the last name, on her birth certificate. The traditional form on the Greek baptismal certificate.

    The NFL is a criminal enterprise and should be dissolved. And I’m not talking about (only) the players.

    nk (dbc370)

  5. How about requiring that PAT kickers be female?

    Kevin M (536c5d)

  6. My wife kept her name when we got married. I lobbied for both of us to adopt a merged version of our family names, or to make up a completely new last name, but she shot that idea down.

    I really didn’t care much about whether she took my name or not when we actually got married, but now that we’re several years in, it kind of tickles me that she kept her name. It serves as a constant annoyance to some more backward members of my extended family (who also seem appalled that she works – that’s rural Appalachia for you), and that’s always a bonus.

    Robin Sizemore (139795)

  7. I will make the motion to double Patterico’s blog salary from his 2013 salary.

    phaedruscj (dc2574)

  8. I don’t trust the decision-making abilities of NFL executives. After all, they are the ones who decided to play the Super Bowl outside … in New Jersey … in February. So this is what MetLife stadium looks like today. Good thing the Super Bowl isn’t this weekend.

    DRJ (a83b8b)

  9. Sorry — wrong link. Try this one.

    DRJ (a83b8b)

  10. The wife should take her husband’s last name, and the “honorific” “Ms” should be eliminated from all use, everywhere; women are properly addresses as Miss or Mrs, period. I have spoken.

    The sexist pig Dana (3e4784)

  11. yeah Ms doesn’t work for me

    happyfeet (8ce051)

  12. Some pro football league (the XFL?) had what they called the “action point.” Touchdowns counted seven points, and teams had to attempt a non-kicked extra point for an eighth point, but there was no loss back to six points as Mr Goodell suggested.

    The Oakland Raiders' fan Dana (3e4784)

  13. Or, we could do as the Russians do, in which the child has a Christian name, a patronymic name (the middle name which is the father’s first name, with evich for son of, or evna or ovna, for daughter of) and the father’s family name as the surname, though with an a at the end for females. That way, women have doubled up male names! 🙂

    The extremely sexist pig Dana (3e4784)

  14. At least Wendy Davis was decent enough to take the name of the man who paid her way through law school. 🙂

    The amused Dana (3e4784)

  15. Some pro football league (the XFL?) had what they called the “action point.”

    That was the World Football League. They also gave us the Dickerod.

    Chuck Bartowski (11fb31)

  16. Sexist Dana,

    Points for seeing yourself in an honest light. That’s mighty big of you! Wendy Davis…heh.

    My young daughter opted to keep her past name, no hyphenated morphing or surrendering hers for his. He didn’t care. I think it’s way less a big deal these days… Of course if children become involved, that might get confusing. Some see it as a move away from biblical order. Others don’t see it as anything but cultural modernity playing out. Certainly there are bigger issues to quibble about.

    Dana (8def7b)

  17. Currently, even if the offense is lined up for a chip-shot PAT the defense still has to honor the possibility it might be a fake kick and array themselves to protect against a run or a pass for the two-point conversion.

    Allahpundit’s suggestion would effectively eliminate that uncertainty and allow the defense to concentrate on only one option, a powerful advantage. Better to leave well enough alone.

    ropelight (ea035d)

  18. He said he did not care one way or the other. I was never sure if that was completely true. But I did decide to take husband’s family name largely because I liked the way it sounded when spoken with my first name and looked when written in a signature with my first name. Easier to pronounce than my birth certificate last name, too.

    I’m not a fan of hyphenated names but I understand that’s sometimes the best/only option for people trying to assuage family feelings. I just wish people would use common sense about it though. Rosanne and Emory Plockworst-Swielingham* and Valeria and Dunston Pryzbielski-Loppenwahld* really need to think of the children–as well as their business associates.

    *these are for illustrative purposes only and are not real people as far as I know.

    elissa (ce2634)

  19. I live in coastal California where the number of women keeping their “maiden” name (how’s that for a beautifully sexist term?) is quite high. I’ve noticed that women who refuse to take their hubby’s name are, nonetheless, quite willing to accept another symbol of their oppression: the wedding ring. A good husband should take the loving and supportive step of honoring their beloved’s desire to stick her finger in the eye of the patriarchy by withholding a wedding ring.

    The PAT is the only play from scrimmage that is run, by default, from the center of the field. It has not always been this way. Why the PAT is now run from the center of the field, I do not know, but it was a bad idea. It leads to near-automatic one point conversions. Simply moving the PAT snap to the location on the two-yard-line that lines up with where the ball was called dead on the preceding touchdown would make the kick harder, which would be a good thing. A touchdown pass to the right corner of the end zone would mean the PAT would be run from the right hash mark. That minimal adjustment would make the one-point conversion less of a sure thing.

    To make the one-point conversion even harder, just move the hash marks back to where they were before the 1972 season (the wide hash marks used by high school and college football) and follow the above-described dead ball rule.

    These would be incremental changes that would advance the cause while at the same time comport with tradition.

    ThOR (130453)

  20. Greetings:

    Everyone gets a PAT.

    11B40 (a929e8)

  21. I’m not a fan of hyphenated names but I understand that’s sometimes the best/only option for people trying to assuage family feelings. I just wish people would use common sense about it though. Rosanne and Emory Plockworst-Swielingham* and Valeria and Dunston Pryzbielski-Loppenwahld* really need to think of the children–as well as their business associates.

    *these are for illustrative purposes only and are not real people as far as I know.

    If we take the hyphenation far enough, we could have Janet and William Schwinn-Lowe-Sweet-Cherry-Ott-Cummings-Forster-Gary-Meade-Holmes.

    Chuck Bartowski (11fb31)

  22. A family name is still a precious thing for many people. Sharing it is not insignificant, and involves the risk that it could be trashed. It’s funny how this question is only looked at from one angle.

    Couples who intend to create a family should be free to choose their new family name. Are not those who question a woman taking her husband’s name being, well, patronizing?

    Amphipolis (d3e04f)

  23. yeah Ms doesn’t work for me

    I reserve “Ms” for irony, such as Ms Zsa Zsa Gabor.

    Kevin M (536c5d)

  24. I say kick the commish, or his representative, thru the goal posts for three.

    Just in case you’re thinking only in WI, I saw a remarkably similar story from a warmer clime with a ‘woman’ driver in the past couple of years.

    gary gulrud (05efc5)

  25. 19. Comment by ThOR (130453) — 1/22/2014 @ 9:32 am

    I’ve noticed that women who refuse to take their hubby’s name are, nonetheless, quite willing to accept another symbol of their oppression: the wedding ring.

    Without a wedding ring, how are strange men supposed to know that she is married??

    The only other way is with an article of clothing, or maybe something special about the way she prepares herself to go outside.

    Sammy Finkelman (4227f2)

  26. “It’s funny how this question is only looked at from one angle.”

    Amphipolis – One? On this thread alone, several “angles” have been thrown out for discussion.

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  27. I’m not sure I follows Amphipolis. Do you mean that a family can prevent their children from using their honored name? Or at least bar their child’s poorly-chose spuse from doing so?

    Or do you mane newlyweds can just go pick one that suits them, like “Smith” or “Kennedy” or “bin Laden”?

    Kevin M (536c5d)

  28. *poorly-choseN spOuse.
    *mane mean

    Kevin M (536c5d)

  29. A number of my friends’ wives have kept their last name immediately upon marriage, but as their children have become school-age I have noticed that the women are starting to use the husband’s family name more often. I haven’t asked about this, but a couple of them have volunteered that it is easier for school administrators this way.

    I have one friend who combined his name with his wife’s name and created a new family surname. Not by hyphenating the two, but by creating a wholly new name. For example, it would be as if a Martinez married a Smith, and the resulting surname became Martmith. Kind of weird, but it works for them.

    JVW (709bc7)

  30. I chose not to assume my wife’s family name when I got married and kept my own name.

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  31. @19- Football jumped the shark when they moved the hash marks to align with the width of the goalposts. Previously they split the field into thirds (as some might recall). Not only did it change the kicking game, but it eliminated the strategy for both offense and defense to deal with the “short field” and the “long field”. As a drive began to falter the offense might even have to select plays that kept the ball more centered as the field goal became the most obvious scoring opportunity.

    Mrs. Gramps came with an impressive array of professional certifications, and having watched a co-worker’s trials and tribulations of getting hers changed over to the new “married” name, she opted to keep her name. Its only been 30 years so it might be too early to certify this decision as “OK”. Interesting that the name she kept was the married name from her first marriage….

    @ Raider Dana- Let ‘er snow. The 49ers and the Raiders will be watching the game from the well heated family room. 🙂

    gramps, the original (64b8ca)

  32. I told Mrs. P. it didn’t matter to me whether she kept her name or not; I was used to her the way I met her, and part of me didn’t want to change that. But she changed her name so there would be less confusion when we had kids. It was the right choice for us.

    Your wife and kids took Patterico as their family name? Interesting choice. 🙂

    Anon Y. Mous (8ec442)

  33. On the name thing I think it dates back to biblical days, when a child bore the name of his father or called by his father’s name. It wouldn’t make sense for the child to answer his father’s name while his or her mother had a different name. The name change for the woman is symbolic of her willingness to leave her father’s house and cleave to her husband. It is also a sign of her accepting his headship over her as head of the marriage. I don’t think it should be fixed, it aint broken.

    The Emperor (fc6588)

  34. Emperor, remember what the names were like: Jesus was properly referred to as Yeshua ben Yosef when he was walking the earth, and it’s not a naming system I think went badly. In a way, the Icelanders are still using that system.

    One does wonder, however, what happens when Jón Einarsson finds out that his mother, Jóhanna Guðmundsdóttir had actually been cuckolding his supposed father Einar Jónsson, and his biological father is named Umgwana kik Booti.

    The historian Dana (3e4784)

  35. (Following up on #19) Another way to fix the PAT problem would be to move the line of scrimmage closer to the end zone, rather than farther away. If the line of scrimmage of the PAT is moved from the 2 yard line to the 1 yard line, the 2 point conversion becomes more of a sure thing and the 1 point conversion loses its appeal. This would be a minimal adjustment to the rules that would have the same effect as the more extreme fixes proposed by Commissioner and Allahpundit.

    All this leaves me wondering: Has America forgotten how to tinker?

    Let’s give credit to Richard Dreyfuss’ character in What About Bob? – “babysteps” are where its at.

    ThOR (130453)

  36. The one shares a family name, the other gives one up. This give and take is what relationships are all about.

    Amphipolis (d3e04f)

  37. One does wonder, however, what happens when Jón Einarsson finds out that his mother, Jóhanna Guðmundsdóttir had actually been cuckolding his supposed father Einar Jónsson, and his biological father is named Umgwana kik Booti.

    Comment by The historian Dana (3e4784) — 1/22/2014 @ 10:59 am
    In which case Mrs Johanna has some ‘splaining to do.

    The Emperor (e1814e)

  38. Can’t recall where I saw it now, but I was intrigued by someone’s suggestion that the PAT rules remain the same — except that the player who scores the touchdown must be the one to make the extra point attempt. I’d perhaps go one better for that — PAT attempts to be made by a randomly selected fan wearing that team’s colors.

    As for surnames, I’m all for individual choice. But I’m reminded of Tolstoy’s opening line in “Anna Karenina”: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Has anyone ever done a statistical study to see if there’s a correlation between divorce rates and the taking of a common (typically the husband’s) surname? My ex didn’t take mine, and it didn’t bother me a whit at the time, but after our divorce I occasionally wondered if that ought to have been a warning sign to me of what was eventually revealed as her lack of commitment to the idea of being married. FWIW, I’ve told my two daughters that I’d not be at all disappointed, much less offended, if they choose to take a husband’s surname, and I’ve told my two sons that they ought to defer to their prospective brides’ preferences (but pay attention to their potential implications, even if they end up dismissing all concerns).

    Beldar (8ff56a)

  39. How about requiring that PAT kickers be female?

    And she should have to hyphenate her last name with the last name of the holder.

    Dave (in MA) (037445)

  40. My son in law took daughters last name. Daughter is only child and her father is only male in his generation, so to keep family name going they opted to keep her last name.

    freedomcosts (1d915e)

  41. Re kicking.

    If you want to make it hard, do what they do in rugby. The ball has to be kicked from a spot in line from where the touchdown was scored.

    I.e. if the line was crossed at the far end, the kick has to be taken from the side of the field, which makes it a difficult angle.

    scrubone (c3104f)

  42. I think Allahpundit stole my idea. I suggested that the conversions have to be done from the last line of possession. So if you do a hail Mary from 60 years out, you’d have to try for another hail Mary and the two-point conversion, because you couldn’t score the one-point from that far away.
    http://agentintellect.blogspot.com/2013/11/a-suggestion.html

    Jim S. (94591b)

  43. Honest to God, I read the headline and thought girls had worked up a new system for betting the sportsbook.

    papertiger (c2d6da)

  44. My son in law took daughters last name. Daughter is only child and her father is only male in his generation, so to keep family name going they opted to keep her last name.

    That’s a very noble move. Winston Churchill’s family name ought to actually have been Spencer. The Churchill name would have died out in the early 18th century when the Duke of Malborough, John Churchill, died with his two sons having preceded him in death. His daughter had married into the Spencer family, so the estate (Blenheim Palace) passed to her son. Around 50 years later, in a nod to the importance of the Churchill name, the Spencers petitioned King George III to allow them to change the family name back to Churchill, which the king granted.

    JVW (709bc7)

  45. Names are a social construct and another means of oppression by the patriarchy. We should all just be known by a number or symbol like that formerly known artist whatzisname.

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  46. Better Half wanted me to take her name. I told her to make me a sammich and I would think about it.

    JD (a7ea1e)

  47. I think they should add extra points after field goals.

    Andy (b63f79)

  48. I think this name taking goes way back in American culture/history. Almost every recognizable name in history bears testimony to this. Women have always taken after the names of their spouses in marriage. It’s a no-brainer. My wife bears my name. I have three daughters and no son. Somehow I hope they marry spouses who won’t mind them bearing their father’s name. 🙂

    The Emperor (98014f)

  49. After a touchdown the ensuing kickoff must go through the uprights to get the point after.

    mg (31009b)

  50. Somehow I hope they marry spouses who won’t mind them bearing their father’s name. 🙂

    I have a hard time imagining anyone being proud to bear your name, Chimperor.

    Chuck Bartowski (11fb31)

  51. @chuck. Miracles do happen, it seems..

    The Emperor (98014f)

  52. “My wife bears my name shame.”

    FIFY, Chimperor

    Colonel Haiku (ddd528)

  53. Comment by JD (a7ea1e) — 1/22/2014 @ 2:34 pm

    Hah

    In my family the now extinct matriarchal family name has been maintained as the middle name, through 2 generations so far.

    Seriously, I guess one can think of taking the patriarchal name as some kind of subservience thing, but one could also look at it as a responsibility thing. The woman’s welfare, especially in a more primitive society where brute strength was a bigger factor than law, was no longer the responsibility of her father but her husband.
    So, if you don’t want the guy to look after your welfare, maybe you shouldn’t marry him.

    MD in Philly (f9371b)

  54. @MD. Spot on.

    The Emperor (7dd451)

  55. So. Do you guys want a sports story related to marriage?

    Jim decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.
    One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes. His wife was standing there watching him.
    After a long period of silence she finally speaks. “Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married I think it’s time you quit golfing. Maybe you should sell your golf clubs.”
    Jim gets this horrified look on his face.
    She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
    ”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”
    “Ex-wife? I didn’t know you were married before.”
    “I wasn’t.”

    nk (dbc370)

  56. hahaha…HA!

    Colonel Haiku (5a3fc1)

  57. If a change is required for the extra point(s), just require all the players that were on the field when the TD was scored to remain on the field for the 1 or 2 point conversion.

    Scott (eb1e63)

  58. I don’t think that the last name is an issue of patriarchy so much as identity. Mollie Hemingway incorrectly posits the issue as to which man’s name you would prefer, as if all brides change their name upon marriage, either to their husband’s name or to their father’s name. Crazy feminist that I am, I would posit that your last name is also your name. Mollie bizarrely implies that the name is somehow more your father’s name than your name.

    If hell froze over and I were to wed, I don’t think I would change my name; at the very least, I would keep my last name professionally and use this hypothetical husband’s name in personal interactions. This is partly because total strangers know my name and of my work; it is also because my surname is a woman’s first name. I would guess that most people, upon hearing something like, “Bridget Kelly Jones”, would not know that it is Bridget Jones, née Kelly.

    bridget (37b281)

  59. So, if you don’t want the guy to look after your welfare, maybe you shouldn’t marry him.

    Alternatively, if you think he’s a sexist pig, find a different husband or no husband at all.

    bridget (37b281)

  60. The dumbest idea of all is the hyphenated name, because if everyone did it, it would be very cumbersome along about the fourth generation.

    PATs don’t slow down NFL games, so adjusting them won’t speed them up, and that’s what would make games more exciting.

    The game is done for anyway once the plaintiff’s bar figures out they can sue helmet makers for concussive injuries. Drive out the helmet makers, you kill football at all levels.

    Estragon (19fa04)

  61. Move it back, but give them the choice of either a place-kick (1-pt), or a drop-kick (2-pts).
    (can anyone still do a drop-kick?)

    askeptic (b8ab92)

  62. Well at least Mooch channels her rage into much displaced diversions:

    http://www.jammiewf.com/2014/report-french-first-lady-goes-nuts-smashes-up-3-million-of-national-treasures-at-elysee-palace/

    Seriously, this Hollande dude isn’t even a millionaire, what gives? He’s homely.

    gary gulrud (05efc5)

  63. 62. Second, doomed.

    gary gulrud (05efc5)

  64. 64. RIP, the French First Family. Splitsville for Holland and Sonja Red.

    gary gulrud (e2cef3)

  65. I like the idea of equalizing the risks for the point after attempts in football. At 97%+, the kick is dam-near automatic.

    As for the name change, that could also be a hybrid. One point to keep your own, two points for changing it. Three if you’re a man who changes it (ala Sandra Day, this rule would expire in 25 years).

    NeoCon_1 (f04c87)


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