Patterico's Pontifications


Woman Assaults Boyfriend For Repeatedly Singing “Thrift Shop” Song

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 1:24 pm

This is no laughing matter, people:

Angered that her boyfriend would not stop singing that catchy “Thrift Shop” song by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, a Colorado woman allegedly choked and pushed her beau during a confrontation late Saturday.

After Malson briefly left the residence, she returned and “began to listen to Macklemore’s song ‘Thrift Shop,’ which Hansen was singing while laying on the couch.” Malson, pictured in the above mug shot, told cops that Hansen sang the lyrics “over and over,” and that she asked him to stop “25 times” before the fracas began.

“He just annoyed me,” Malson told police.

The defense is expected to argue that the attack was justified, and to present a single exhibit: the following video. [Content warning: video has profanity and also may enrage viewers, especially upon repeated viewings.]

42 Responses to “Woman Assaults Boyfriend For Repeatedly Singing “Thrift Shop” Song”

  1. You’ll be shocked to learn that the argument began with an argument over who drank all the alcohol.

    Patterico (9c670f)

  2. she be taking his love for granted, beating on him like that

    but like she said he was annoying her

    but that’s neither here nor there the thing to do *now* is to go bail her out of jail and have a bucket of chicken and bottle of fireball waiting at home

    then they can make sweet sweet love

    happyfeet (8ce051)

  3. I’d vote for acquittal. She was clearly provoked.

    SPQR (768505)

  4. happyfeet, I think you misspelled “sweat”…

    SPQR (768505)

  5. I didn’t have much sympathy for her until I heard the “song.”

    DRJ (a83b8b)

  6. Is there a defense fund that I can donate to?

    SPQR (768505)

  7. I really enjoy that song.

    JD (b63a52)

  8. Good grief, she’s a certified nursing assistant. I shudder to think what she would do to a struggling patient or worse, one unable to do what she told them to do. Thank God this ugly side of her came to light with someone not under her care.

    Dana (292dcf)

  9. “Jerry Springer’s booking producer is on line 1 !”

    Elephant Stone (8a7f08)

  10. “Damn, that’s a cold ass Honkey!”

    LOL. Must be talking about Pattrerico & JD.

    Funny song. Thanks for the link.

    Ipso Fatso (1e3278)

  11. She’s not good looking enough to cause problems fo anybody. Cut her loose.

    glenn (647d76)

  12. hey, if she gets off then I have a defense for slapping around a bunch of teenage girls who like to sing the song when I drive them home from school
    no, i didn’t, but yes, they do- though they did hear it on a radio station that deletes the cursing

    wearing your grandfather’s clothes…from the thriftstore down the road…

    of course, maybe you need to be in a social group that frequents thrift stores to appreciate the song to its fullest

    MD in Philly (3d3f72)

  13. I couldn’t get much beyond the first minute of that song. She would want me on that jury. I think she was subjected to cruel and unusual punishment.

    Mattsky (d6e293)

  14. Wow! Can we send these two to Mexico? It seems only fair all things considered…

    WarEagle82 (2b7355)

  15. The MSM does not report on all the assaults and violence that take place in DisneyWorld outside the ride where “It’s a small world after all” plays non- stop.

    elissa (615e64)

  16. I must say, listening to the “Beeped out” version without looking at the video is, um, less distressing than watching it unedited

    MD in Philly (3d3f72)

  17. I really enjoy that song.

    — JD


    Patterico (9c670f)

  18. OK – are we Progressives on here with no sense of humour ?

    Or do we recognise that even things of dubious taste have their own right to exist – as we have the right to *ignore* them if we don’t care for ’em ?

    Mattsky – *you* are just jealous of the jammies !

    Alasdair (a28b33)

  19. I’m gonna pop some tags,
    only got 20 dollars in my pocket…

    I’m in your grandad’s clothes,
    I look incredible.
    I’m in your gandad’s clothes
    from that thriftshop down the road…

    MD in Philly (3d3f72)

  20. Is it worse, then ‘Friday’

    narciso (3fec35)

  21. P – there is no accounting for bad taste. Lol. Actually, my girls like it, and in comparison to the bubble babble bubble gum pop crap they love so dearly, I like it only to the extent that it is better than the other crap. I am in a Black Keys, Mumford, and Fun stage right now.

    JD (b63a52)

  22. Damn.

    I grew up on Yes and Emerson, Lake & Palmer – you know: musicians who were MUSICIANS.

    What’s become of this world? I give up.

    RKae (728ba8)

  23. And The Lumineers.

    JD (b63a52)

  24. Agonizing, and that was only 15 seconds.

    narciso (3fec35)

  25. Mattsky – *you* are just jealous of the jammies !

    Alasdair batman jammies don’t really work for me. May be some Dr Seuss Dr Dentons.

    Mattsky (d6e293)

  26. Yay Lumineers, Black Keys and Mumford. Good taste there, JD.

    Dana (292dcf)

  27. Comment by JD (b63a52) — 4/14/2013 @ 7:32 pm

    “Ho, hey”, JD

    I was asked why I sat in the car when I came home the other night. “I’ve Seen All Good People” was on the Sirius
    family was made to watch a youtube of roundabout live, yes, musicians…

    MD in Philly (3d3f72)

  28. I listen to Lumineers in the pool for an hour and a half 4x a week. They are happy, and have a good tempo. Black Keys during bike workouts – good rhythm, and drive. Mumford while I run. They make me happy, and running does not.

    JD (b63a52)

  29. Although Fun, is nearly at the jump the shark point, IMHO, and Bruno Mars is bipolar, or schizophrenic?

    narciso (3fec35)

  30. Fun is my favorite all-around workout music. But sometimes their tempo is too quick for running.

    JD (b63a52)

  31. They all kind of run together now, there isn’t really a distinctive voice,

    narciso (3fec35)

  32. Any type of assault charge will cause her to lose her CNA license

    Freedomfighter101 (411224)

  33. Watched the video.


    Jim (205d26)

  34. They don’t compare to David Allan Coe.

    SPQR (768505)

  35. In defense of the young man in question, I have an awful habit of getting a song stuck in my head, repeating itself over and over and over again. Sometimes they aren’t even catchy songs: I once got God Save the Queen, all three verses, playing over and over.

    The gentleman in question was simply thinking aloud.

    The Dana with tinitus (3e4784)

  36. I didn’t have much sympathy for her until I heard the “song.”

    Comment by DRJ (a83b8b) — 4/14/2013 @ 4:22 pm

    What she said!!!

    What ever happened to real music? I really haven’t heard much I liked since the early eighties. Does that make me an old fogy?

    Jay H Curtis (804124)

  37. 17. I really enjoy that song.

    – JD


    Comment by Patterico (9c670f) — 4/14/2013 @ 7:18 pm

    I have to agree with JD. I was cruising the Walmart earlier wearing a White Tail Deer shirt just like the one that shows up around the one and a half minute mark in the video.

    So a couple of girls stop to talk to me. Real hotties. They were wearing their Daisy Dukes. They had only lightly worked over their thighs with a ball peen hammer.

    I’m thinking, “Score!”

    But then some guy with a wolf t-shirt shows up on his electric shopping cart. And they’re like, “That’s a nice wolf t-shirt. You must be a wild man.”

    I knew then my White Tail Deer shirt had been undone.

    Steve57 (b238b6)

  38. Comment by Jay H Curtis (804124) — 4/15/2013 @ 10:27 am

    What ever happened to real music?

    It goes into hibernation 11 months a year.
    There’s usually some radio stations that play it in December.

    I really haven’t heard much I liked since the early eighties.

    There was real music in the 1980s??

    Does that make me an old fogy

    Well, since real music hasn’t been much written (or at least been a commercial success) since about 1955, if then, maybe go back to the 1940s, if to be an old fogy was to be around when real music was the only music and you like only the older music, your frame of reference would have to be much older than the 1980s to be an old fogy.

    They weren’t making real movies then, too. Star Wars doesn’t count.

    Sammy Finkelman (d22d64)

  39. Wonder what she would have done if he kept singing tran— marry me too her ?????

    christen (9e81e8)

  40. Wow. I kept waiting for it to actually get interesting or something. I finally cut it off at about two minutes.

    A singularly useless excuse for sending bits around. Static is slightly less interesting. But not a lot.

    I thought the girl was nuts, but I can see her reasons. Not go along with them… but understand them.

    Smock Puppet, 10th Dan Snark Master and Gender Bïgǒt (98ae1f)

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