Anyone who flies has experienced it. The voice comes over the loudspeaker and says your flight has been delayed 20 minutes. Well, that’s annoying. But you have two hours to make your connection, so you’ll be OK. A little while later, it turns out the delay is 40 minutes. Still no problem. After another wait, it turns out the delay will be an hour. Then, after another long wait, they say the flight has been delayed an hour and a half. Now that connection is looking pretty tight. But don’t fret! You won’t have to worry about rushing to make the connection . . . because, you see, as the new boarding time approaches, there is another announcement: It turns out the flight is delayed three hours and you have no chance of making it.
But this news always drips out, one announcement after another — and you always suspect that they knew all along that the delay would be three hours.
Which brings us to Cyprus. First, depositors were told that their accounts would be hit for 7 percent — 10 percent for the rich folks. Then — whoops! — it turned out it wasn’t 10 percent, but 30 percent. Whoops, we meant 40 percent.
What was next? Half?
HALF! (Language and content warning.)
(That clip is profane, misogynistic, and horrible. I don’t even know why I posted it.)
No, Cyprus is not planning to take half. No, no, no. Nothing of the sort.
More like . . . 60 percent.
Major depositors in Cyprus’s biggest bank will lose around 60 percent of savings over 100,000 euros, its central bank confirmed on Saturday, sharpening the terms of a bailout that has shaken European banks and saved the island from bankruptcy.
Initial signs that big depositors in Bank of Cyprus would take a hit of 30 to 40 percent – the first time the euro zone has made bank customers contribute to a bailout – had already unnerved investors in European lenders this week.
But the official decree published on Saturday confirmed a Reuters report a day earlier that the bank would give depositors shares worth just 37.5 percent of savings over 100,000 euros. The rest of such holdings might never be paid back.
See, they did it again! Did we say 60 percent? We meant 62.5 percent! In the space of just two paragraphs, depositors lost another 2 1/2 percent.
Officials are assuring the public that this is a “one off” — it certainly couldn’t happen anywhere else.
Oh hey, by the way? Your taxes went up a little at the beginning of the year, but Obama says you have to pay just a little more.
UPDATE: Thanks to Stashiu3 for the link.