One Year Ago Today
I awoke to this text from a reader of mine:
I think I just put “Andrew Breitbart” into Google and clicked on a link to Michelle Malkin’s site to see the news. I couldn’t believe it, so I emailed our mutual friends the Larrys: Larry O’Connor and Larry Solov, asking if it could really be true. Larry O’Connor replied with a single word: “true.”
I threw up a post that said in part:
Rest in peace, buddy. I want to give you a proper tribute, but I can’t muster it. All I see is the faces of the laughing jackals in my mind’s eye and I want to throw up.
I’m going to go stand in the shower and see if maybe this is a bad dream somehow.
It wasn’t a bad dream — nor was my vision of the jackals. But I am not going to focus on those people today.
Speaking of dreams, I dreamed about my dad last night. We were all sitting around a table, I think at a cabin in Big Bear (which he never visited). He wasn’t doing so well and he said to all of us: “The time has come. I want to say goodbye to all of you.” We all started to protest: he shouldn’t be giving up, he had time left, etc. But he was very calm and confident about it, and I decided he was right. It was time to say goodbye. I decided to give him a hug, but as I started to get out of my chair and stand up, I woke up.
I wish I could have slept just ten more seconds. I closed my eyes again and tried to recapture the moment, but it didn’t work.
I never got the chance to say a proper goodbye to Dad. The last time I saw him, he was being wheeled out of my childhood home on a stretcher. He had spent the night sleeping sitting up, battling congestive heart failure, and Mom called paramedics in the morning because he was doing so poorly. I had to leave town shortly afterwards and couldn’t visit him, but when I talked to him on the phone later he sounded like he was doing much better. At the end of the phone conversation we said goodbye, but it wasn’t a proper goodbye.
I guess last night my brain was trying to give me the chance to say one. I went to sleep thinking about Andrew and his last night on Earth, and woke up thinking about my Dad’s.
I never got a chance to say a proper goodbye to Andrew, either.
I’ll spend tonight in the company of people who knew Andrew, at the same Santa Monica home where I last saw him, on February 4, 2012. It was a wonderful night. People were wishing Andrew a Happy Birthday, as he had just celebrated the day three days earlier. The last people to leave were me, Andrew, and our friend Roman Genn, the artist. The three of us stood around for a good hour at the end of the night with the host, Dale Launer, and had a wide-ranging and often hilarious conversation. As I said in my memorial post last year:
The discussions are off the record as a rule, but I’ll break the rule to note this: Andrew said he loved his wife and kids in that conversation.
That’s the absolute truth.
This has to be a very difficult day for Susie, whom I have met, and for all of Andrew’s kids, whom I never had the pleasure of meeting. My thoughts are with them all on this sad day.
I’ve never been much for the “we are all Breitbart” meme. Andrew was Andrew, and he was unique. But I understand what people mean by it. In addition to having incredible energy, and being very funny and engaging, he cared little about day to day politics. He was about battling political correctness and the dishonest media, and about changing the culture in education and other ways.
On a day when ghouls who didn’t know him write nasty diatribes about him, I’m going to remember the person Andrew actually was. And I think he would have liked to have a video like this posted in his memory:
Rest in peace.
This is a really good post, P.
JD (b63a52) — 3/1/2013 @ 6:50 amWe must still get into everyone’s face and demand truth. As Andrew did.
Kevin P. (1df29c) — 3/1/2013 @ 6:54 amYou had me in tears and thinking about my own father’s passing last December 4th, of congestive heart failure. All of the last preparations he was making, because he knew the end was near. I miss him and miss Breitbart’s larger-than-life, inspiring presence.
Colonel Haiku (591848) — 3/1/2013 @ 7:11 amgive JD the rights to clean the thread today of the trolls who cannot help themselves that are going to show up today
Sorry about your dad, sorry about Andrew, I was driving home when they actully broke in the music that was playing and said that Andrew had died.
EPWJ (1ea63e) — 3/1/2013 @ 7:28 amWe are not Breitbart.
But
Breitbart is Here.
SPQR (768505) — 3/1/2013 @ 7:44 amBeautiful sentiments. I especially like the comment by SPQR as well
Monitor (03ef85) — 3/1/2013 @ 8:34 amI had the chance to tell my mother goodbye when she died in October. My father told me that the hospice people said “any day now.” So I flew down, student demands be damned. It was an expensive ticket, and my father and brother offered to pay for it (I swallowed the insult I felt; what was money for, if not telling family goodbye?). I arrived in SoCal at 10PM on a Friday night.
My nephew was with my mother, and called to say she wanted to see me. So I made my brother drive me over to the house, despite his sadness (my mother was dying of ovarian cancer, which had taken my brother’s wife two years before).
My mother looked terrible. The hardest thing I have ever done was to smile and joke with her. She was in and out due to all the morphine the hospice people were giving her. She wanted to get up, but the nurses instructions were for her to lie down until they arrived to help her (there were all kinds of complications that embarrassed my poor mother). So I sat next to her sickbed to talk with her, wearing the vest she had made me.
And all my complicated feelings about my upbringing went away. I felt that this was a critical time, like the morning my first son was born. Time seemed to slow down.
“Nice vest,” my mother said tiredly, taking my hand.
“Someone who loves made me it,” I replied.
She smiled, fingering the vest. “Workmanship could be better.”
“That’s true for all things,” I said.
She nodded. Psychologically Amish, my mother was.
My mother became upset with my poor father a bit later that evening, who kept trying to keep her from getting up. At one point, my father swore under his breath, and said “I can’t find the notebook.” The notebook the hospice people use, to keep track of the morphine doses.
“Oh, I know where it is,” my mother murmured, eyes half closed.
“Where?” my father asked.
“Let me up, and I’ll tell you,” she said clearly, turned her head toward me, and winked.
She didn’t wake up on Saturday and passed away early that Sunday morning.
The poet Rilke wrote that Death is large. Because it is.
It’s large when a loved one passes, and large when people who fight on our behalf pass away.
We are all Breitbart, in a way, because of how he stood up for others. Because he did.
Patterico, I understand about dreams and parents. Best wishes to you and yours on this sad day.
Simon Jester (c8876d) — 3/1/2013 @ 9:27 amDeath is moving in my life. It recently claimed my sister. A friend called yesterday to tell me that it took his mother. It is stalking my mother-in-law, and a coworker’s aunt. It took both my parents years ago.
But Death Shall have No Dominion
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/and-death-shall-have-no-dominion/
Pious Agnostic (6ff605) — 3/1/2013 @ 9:33 amI like that, SPQR. I think its the truth.
SarahW (b0e533) — 3/1/2013 @ 9:45 amBTW, where can one get a “Breitbart Is Here” poster?
askeptic (b8ab92) — 3/1/2013 @ 9:59 amGood post, Pat.
Dustin (73fead) — 3/1/2013 @ 2:10 pmOf recent losses, his is the greatest.
Tears, Pat. Darn you.
Ed from SFV (bc726e) — 3/1/2013 @ 2:33 pmAs Red Skelton would say ” May God Bless”.
mg (31009b) — 3/1/2013 @ 7:56 pmYeah, me too. My babe’s dad just died.
He was a good guy. She’s pretty torn up.
I really have laid in a supply of smokes and enough propane and wine to get through whatever sequestration brings. (Plus I gave her an SKS and a thousand rounds of ammo; the mortality thing is eating at me and maybe I won’t be there when she needs me.)
And if she wants to get snot slinging drunk I’ll watch the kids because otherwise what good am I?
Steve57 (60a887) — 3/1/2013 @ 8:20 pmI’ve got way too many leaflets on my kitchen counter from funerals.
Steve57 (60a887) — 3/1/2013 @ 8:24 pmI met Breitbart at the RightOnline conference in Minneapolis in 2011 and he changed my life. I had worked in Hollywood many years before, and meeting Andrew was more exciting for me than working with any Hollywood star that I had met(or worked with).
He made me an activist.
You can run a site on the internet, contribute to a site on the internet, post opinions on the internet, but there is nothing more important than getting the message out to the public and taking ACTION. Face to face. The Left has this down to a science. Andrew knew this, and I hope everyone who reads this fantastic site will take some ACTION today or tomorrow that will spread the truth about the bullshit that is spewing from the media/White House.
God bless Andrew Breitbart and his family. I met the guy, briefly, and think of him often.
Tamminator (4205b9) — 3/1/2013 @ 8:26 pmWe may not be able to BE Breitbart, but we can emulate him and carry on to stand up for the truth.
Sorry for being in a weird mood.
Quan’s ‘wrong note’ on lock-picking class
Reality isn’t doing a whole hell of a lot to make me recover from reality.
Steve57 (60a887) — 3/1/2013 @ 8:36 pmAndrew Breitbart’s mother just passed away, on Wednesday.
Elephant Stone (3c2d77) — 3/1/2013 @ 8:38 pmI think that was an elective at Baghdad U, in the mid oughts, their version of shop class,
narciso (3fec35) — 3/1/2013 @ 8:39 pmThanks, Patterico,for a very moving post — both about Breitbart and your dad. Simon, dittoes to you.
We are not Breitbart.
But
Breitbart is Here.
Comment by SPQR (768505) — 3/1/2013 @ 7:44 am
Well said. He left far too soon.
Had never before actually grieved someone I never met. A bizarre experience — and still miss him so much.
no one of consequence (ecc99a) — 3/1/2013 @ 8:40 pmI know exactly what you mean NOOC. It’s just not the same without Andrew is it? Considering most of us did not have the pleasure to know him personally he sure seemed to take up a lot of space in our minds. The tribute Orson Bean wrote about his son-in-law titled My Boy, Sweet Andrew is very moving. I often think how different the election season and the run up to November whould have been with Breitbart on the prowl and keeping us focused.
Simon, your remembrances of your mom and her grace and humor at the end were lovely and you captured them beautifully in your comment.
elissa (86dd3d) — 3/1/2013 @ 9:18 pmdoes anyone know who took that classic b&w breitbart photo what has the whole yousuf karsh homage thing going on?
some things are hard to ask the googles
but man Mr. B really did luck out to get that one
he’s like the teadoodle james dean
happyfeet (8ce051) — 3/1/2013 @ 10:47 pmthis one
who took it?
happyfeet (8ce051) — 3/1/2013 @ 10:50 pmSaint Lucia in Sweden
I don’t know what it is, but I like that version of Santa Lucia.
I played that song for about a week, trying somehow to convince my grandma she had had her 100th birthday and it was ok to die. She was one tough old broad. And I can say that because I’d go home on leave and our conversations would start out with her opening up with, “They can’t kill me, Steve.”
What can you do? Hold their hands. They did it for you when you were a kid.
Vivere o niente, nonna.
You know, if I was half as tough as she was I’d have been a SEAL.
Steve57 (60a887) — 3/2/2013 @ 12:00 am22. Mr. feets, great photo and caption.
mg (31009b) — 3/2/2013 @ 3:14 amBreitbart as a family man, as a dad, as a friend, the first aniversary of his premature passing is well worth remembering, as for any who fulfilled these roles and more.
But then, undeniably, there is this:
I would humbly suggest that some introspection is in order as this anniversary is observed.
Perry (329aa5) — 3/2/2013 @ 8:54 amPerry,
That’s like a masked gunman walking into a bank and announcing, “Why can’t we all just get along ? If you people would just hand over your money to me, then I’d stop threatening you, and then you would no longer have to resist my efforts, and everything would be ‘kumbaya’ !”
We instrospected.
And we conclude that during this Obama Era of Fire-Breathing Scorched Earth Left Wing Kookery, the late Andrew Breitbart is needed to fight against them, now more than ever.
Perry, greedy guys such as yourself will never quit. Your thirst for other people’s money has no quench. I’d kindly suggest you become a man and go make your own money, if I thought you were capable.
Elephant Stone (728e31) — 3/2/2013 @ 9:11 amPerry – That sounds more like a pre-obit for Obama than an accurate description of Breitbart, but nice try.
daleyrocks (bf33e9) — 3/2/2013 @ 9:17 amPerry likes shltting on graves.
JD (4f721c) — 3/2/2013 @ 9:20 amPerry is an angry wanker.
daleyrocks (bf33e9) — 3/2/2013 @ 9:48 amAs Andrew Breitbart made it a point to not let an obnoxious dishonest person have the last word in an argument, there is ample reason to engage Perry in Andrews memory.
There is also reason to remember the saying that if you can’t say something good about someone, don’t say anything. And that would leave one to ignore him….whoever that “him” may be.
I choose the latter, others feel free to choose as you wish.
MD in Philly (3d3f72) — 3/2/2013 @ 9:58 amI return to these wise words which address the objections voiced by you Breitbart acolytes:
Perry (329aa5) — 3/2/2013 @ 10:17 amPerry – Nobody takes Frum seriously. Plus Breitbart got Sherrod right. The media just lies and misreports about what he originally reported.
daleyrocks (bf33e9) — 3/2/2013 @ 10:32 amNow Perry is peddling lies.
JD (4f721c) — 3/2/2013 @ 10:49 amPerry, we realize you’re angry at the late Andrew Breitbart for being so effective at exposing the lies and Machiavellian ways of the institutional left. His courage and energy and tactics were unique.
He couldn’t be bullied into silence as our friend MD in Philly is resigned to.
As Dayleyrocks points out, Breitbart got Sherrod correct, but the media just continue to mischaracterize what he did.
But this is typical of the deconstructive strategy that is chapter one in the Alinsky Playbook for angry repressed lefties such as yourself—you guys attempt to put a magnifying glass to any perceived pimple on the good guys, all the while elevating the bad guys to hero status, conveniently ignoring all of their evil, generally proclaiming, “But Stalin’s/Castro’s/Che’s intentions were good !” or “So what if he drugged and sodomized an underage girl—Roman Polanski is a good film director !”
Only in the Democrat party can a drunk such as Teddy Kennedy drive his Oldsmobile into a bay, leave a woman to drown, not report it until after lunch the next day, and then continue to get re-elected for the next 40 years.
You don’t sound like the kind of guy who might know this, but Andrew was a longtime key facillitator of the Drudge Report, and then he literally set up the Huffington Post for Arianna Huffington, as a subversive means of finally getting lefties such as Rob Reiner to put an actual public by-line to their kooky political ramblings.
Elephant Stone (728e31) — 3/2/2013 @ 11:28 amFacts don’t matter to the little troll, whereas David Corn, got an award for the edited ‘47% tape,
narciso (3fec35) — 3/2/2013 @ 11:32 amwhich left out the context
Yep, Perry trotted out a lie, and calls truth poison.
SarahW (b0e533) — 3/2/2013 @ 12:35 pmSo “Perry” is going to quote an article by (as SF writer and pundit Jerry Pournelle calls him) “the Egregious Frum.”
You might want some better context, dude. Your fly is unzipped.
http://dailycaller.com/2012/03/02/andrew-breitbart-r-i-p-2/
But it’s aaaaaalllllll about Teh Narrative™ with these sorts. Mickey Kaus is no conservative, and he can be fair. Interesting to see who cannot.
Simon Jester (607b9c) — 3/2/2013 @ 12:49 pm