Patterico's Pontifications


Obama Campaign Slogan Contest Winners

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 6:46 am

It’s a day late in coming, but wasn’t the wait worth it? The selection was made through a careful selection process by conducting a vote of the readership by me. All judgments are final, no takebacks or returns.

AND NOW . . . the top 10 Obama campaign slogans — written by the staunch Obama supporters here at

10. “Racists.” — Noodles

9. “Be happy we don’t take it all.” — Kevin M

8. “The Audacity of Indifference.” — Col. Haiku

7. “Psst! Romney se reanudarán las deportaciones.” — Sammy Finkelman

6. “All of your bucks stop here.” — Icy

5. (tie) “It’s still Bush’s fault!” — Steve
“I still blame Bush.” — daleyrocks

5. “Do the math.. On second thought, don’t actually do it.” — Sammy Finkelman

4. “Uh…” — Dustin

3. “We’re so boned, does it even matter any more?” — Gazzer

2. “Who will pay for my daughters’ $85 million spring breaks?” — nk

And the top Obama campaign slogan:

1. “Obama 2012: Are you Better Off Now Than You Were 5 Trillion Dollars Ago?” — Colonel Haiku

Colonel Haiku will receive . . . .Turtle Wax.

. . . if he buys Turtle Wax.

What? You thought you’d do better than that?

Welcome to Obama’s America!

40 Responses to “Obama Campaign Slogan Contest Winners”

  1. Runners-up:

    “Give me more time, it’s taking longer to destroy America than I thought.” — d in c.

    “Hey, now I have more executive experience than Sarah Palin!” — Dana

    “Still Clean and Articulate” — Icy

    “Because fuck you, America.” — d. in c.

    Patterico (feda6b)

  2. “I agree it’s a gimmick” is a strong late entrant I think

    happyfeet (3c92a1)

  3. “God Damn America”

    — didn’t that foretell everything He’s done? Imagine Him unbothered by the prospect of re-election come November.

    Greater flexibility, indeed.

    koam @wittier (2bdf79)


    just wanted to share what slogans readers over at came up with a little while ago!! I think between the 2 groups, there’s some first class talent here!! lol

    becca (a3d0f2)

  5. Congratulations to the winners; sorry I missed the original contest. Let me submit this post-contest entry:

    Still trying to make this one thing clear.

    JVW (4d72aa)

  6. I feel like Sammy’s takes the cake, with Icy’s a close second.


    Leviticus (624ba1)

  7. I only wish to say that I thank Patterico, and I thank the academy, and should Colonel Haiku ever be unable to perform his duties, as next in line I will gladly step in.

    Dang, but I love this site.

    nk (52d02a)

  8. Good choices on the winners, Patterico, and kudos to nk on his first-runner-up speech.

    DRJ (a83b8b)

  9. Congrats to the winners, I thought there were a lot of good ones. Personally I liked “Do the math etc” and “all your bucks stop here” and also (don’t remember who) “His middle finger has more work to do.”

    As for “F#ck you America,” I’d add that it was certainly the motto of the Bush administration, too.

    d. in c. (1cdf0b)

  10. I still like “shut up and do as you’re told”

    pst314 (672ba2)

  11. What? You thought you’d do better than that?

    This was harder than it looked, in my opinion.

    I thought nk was the most consistent with teh funny.

    Noodoes (3681c4)

  12. I kind of like word “MOOCHERS” with the two O’s filled in with Obama’s Logo from 2008.

    Bill (af584e)

  13. Divide and conquer!

    daleyrocks (bf33e9)

  14. D’OH!

    Turtle 0bama Wax gives a hard shell finish, 0bama Wax!

    Colonel Haiku (c1775a)

  15. “Fool you twice, shame on you!” is the one of mine I thought would be picked. Shows what I know.

    Icy (e372e3)

  16. I’m all thats between you and the pitchforks !

    JeffC (488234)

  17. mulligan 2012

    SteveG (e27d71)

  18. “The Buck Starts Here”

    miked (04e8ba)

  19. Thanks Pat for the nod. I visit many sites but this is the only place I comment.

    Gazzer (75ef82)

  20. 6. Comment by Leviticus — 4/12/2012 @ 9:25 am

    I feel like Sammy’s takes the cake, with Icy’s a close second.

    That’s because mine are accurate. This is not parody. These are actually real Obama campaign tropes. The ones of mine he picked are about the most accurate of all.

    I submitted a lot. Icy also submitted a lot.

    Just today, there was a New York Post editorial


    Do the math.. On second thought, don’t actually do it.”

    …is borne out.

    When he first unveiled the tax-hike plan he dubbed the Buffett Rule, President Obama claimed it would “raise enough money” to “stabilize our debt and deficits.”

    “This is not politics,” he insisted,“it’s math.”

    Well, it looks like Obama finally double-checked the arithmetic.

    Because the White House now disingenuously claims that the proposed 30 percent minimum tax rate on high-earners “was never our plan to bring the deficit down and get the debt under control.”

    Instead, says the president, it’s all about “fairness” and making sure that “all Americans play by the same rules.”

    Sammy Finkelman (d22d64)

  21. Or I think probably will be. He hasn’t yet bombed Iran.

    Sammy Finkelman (d22d64)

  22. “0bama 2012: Do the last four years represent the best America can be?”

    Colonel Haiku (c1775a)

  23. Endorsed by Greg Packer

    SteveG (e27d71)

  24. I missed the contest, but here’s mine anyway:

    “Obama 2012: Wossamatta? Can’t you TAKE it?”

    Estragon (ec6a4b)

  25. I thought Haiku’s was the best one. “are you better off now than you were $5 tril ago” sums up the entire conservative argument, and the disaster of the past few years.

    I hope the younger voters understand what they are signing onto if they vote for Obama in November.

    Dustin (330eed)

  26. There’s a facebook page that a lot of my friends share, something like

    “We survived 8 years of Bush, you’ll survive 8 years of Obama”

    I think that might get a lot of independents mad, if they thought that was actually an Obama bumper sticker… snicker..

    Doug Bauman (4ab8d8)

  27. 0bama 2012: “I think most folks understand how hard I work”

    Colonel Haiku (5cc82a)

  28. iowahawkblog #poorwittlepwesident After leaving grad school, The Man made him get his first job, and it only had a $100 million budget.

    Colonel Haiku (5cc82a)

  29. Late entry from me:


    Patterico (c1aef2)

  30. “0bama 2012: His mouth signed a check that his ass couldn’t cash”

    Colonel Haiku (5cc82a)

  31. “0bama 2012: He’s got an enemies list that would make Richard Nixon proud”

    Colonel Haiku (5cc82a)

  32. and thanks, Dustin!

    Colonel Haiku (5cc82a)

  33. ask not what you can do with your own money

    EricPWJohnson (e83e82)

  34. fore more years!

    Love it.

    Dustin (330eed)

  35. “I can’t be overdrawn; I still have checks left!!!”

    orcadrvr (04bb24)

  36. “Do the math.. On second thought, don’t actually do it.” — Sammy Finkelman

    Don’t worry, thanks to our wonderful edumacashunal system, they can’t even if they wanted to.

    IGotBupkis, Legally Defined Cyberbully in All 57 States (8e2a3d)

  37. .



    Instead, says the president, it’s all about “fairness” and making sure that “all Americans play by the same rules.”

    “The same rules”…. means… special rules for very rich people?






    Smock Puppet, 10th Dan Snark Master (8e2a3d)

  38. I don’t expect to see this list on the lame david letterman show anytime soon…

    DJB (1995e6)

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    seo in Pakistan (a39ba0)

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