Sockpuppet Friday (What’s Wrong with Democrats? edition)
[Posted by Karl]
As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sockpuppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself.
Sockpuppet comments about the Republican primary race are strictly prohibited. If you wish to use sockpuppets for that purpose, confine your comments to this thread. Same goes for any discussion that is not funny where people want to get angry at each other. Offending comments will be summarily deleted and the violators flogged.
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
—
If you have not seem today’s disappointing March unemployment report, James Pethokoukis has many of the lowlights. Meanwhile, Pres. Obama is holding a conference at which he is claiming he is creating “an economy built to last for America’s women,” which apparently does not include an economy that creates jobs for women (or men, for that matter). Unemployment for women has increased since Obama took office. The figures are even worse for the young, blacks, hispanics and the less-credentialed. Yet these demographics all lean Democrat, and will likely vote Democrat in November. Despite this, the chattering classes of the establishment will continue to ask “What’s the matter with Kansas?” in the misguided partisan belief that only the right votes against its supposed economic interests. The reality is that the economy has a very mild impact on the voting behavior of partisans, who will rationalize the economic performance of the administrations for which they voted.
–Karl
Ding!
Karl (f07e38) — 4/6/2012 @ 9:32 amIt would be unprecedented for the Supreme Court to overturn a law passed with strong majorities, except DOMA, which we are urging the Court to overturn.
Teh One (23d22f) — 4/6/2012 @ 9:38 amWell, prostitution is certainly an economy built to last, it’s the oldest profession. Superfly!
nk (52d02a) — 4/6/2012 @ 9:40 amThe economy is rebounding thanks to the Administration’s wise policies. The deficit will be tamed once we return to Clinton-era tax rates on the wealthiest Americans, and once ObamaCare is fully implemented we will be spending far less on health care as we weed out the inefficiencies. North Korea and Iran can be engaged by the Administration’s smart diplomacy, and Kofi Annan will take care of all the problems in Syria.
Meanwhile, the Republicans are bitterly divided by the Tea Party and have lashed out at women, minorities, the young, the elderly, the middle class, the poor, the progressive wealthy, and college-educated people. Mitt Romney wants to allow Paul Ryan to push poor seniors off of a cliff, Rick Santorum sneaks into the bathrooms of single women late at night to steal their birth control, and Newt Gingrich is working for a brokered convention at which Sarah Palin and Dick Cheney will be nominated.
The Big Media Complex (4d72aa) — 4/6/2012 @ 9:44 amWell The Bamster didi admit one “fail”.
He’s been unable to do much about women’s dry cleaning prices.
Mike Myers (dc4fc0) — 4/6/2012 @ 9:51 amAnnouncing today’s winner of our coveted “Nothing to See Here” award. The LA Times manages to write an article about the disappointing job numbers without once mentioning the Obama Administration. Congratulations to reporter Don Lee and his editors for successfully deflecting blame from the White House. Further kudos for making a valiant attempt in two separate paragraphs to put a positive spin on the news. Paragraph two begins “The nation’s jobless rate inched down to 8.2% from 8.3%. . .” and the fifth paragraph dares to begin, “On the positive side. . . .” Well done, Don!
The Big Media Complex (4d72aa) — 4/6/2012 @ 9:54 amA couple of decades ago, a 747 crashed into a mountain in Japan after flying for 30 minutes with a ruptured hydraulic system. No attempt was made to land or ditch and 520 out of 524 people died. This is the Democratic economic plan in a nutshell.
Some years later, a similar malfunction in a United plane resulted in an attempted landing at Sioux City in which over 60% of the passengers survived. Hopefully, the Republican plan would have a better outcome, but even if it didn’t it beats augering it in.
Kevin M (bf8ad7) — 4/6/2012 @ 10:07 amSarah Palin was right, we are going to let you die under ObamaCare, but I don’t want to talk about that.
President False Choices (bf33e9) — 4/6/2012 @ 10:08 amDistract. Distract. Distract.
This administration is going to be cussed and discussed for years to come.
Harry S. Truman (255b30) — 4/6/2012 @ 11:09 amSomebody PLEASE dig me up so I can slap the fool out of Al Sharpton!
ghost of MLK (686f5d) — 4/6/2012 @ 11:15 amBush is the first President since the Great Depression that Joe Biden watched on tv to preside over an economy that had a net job loss. Bush. Uh er huh um …. nevermind.
Sen Horseface Kerry (58f1a2) — 4/6/2012 @ 11:19 am“Well done, Don!”
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Don Lee (08336c) — 4/6/2012 @ 11:22 amHow dare you question my reign!!
Be happy I let you work at ALL!!
As my good friend Bill once said “I love all women”.
I will protect you from all of those evil Republicans, just worship me and I will allow you to have unlimited sex with free birth control!!
I have spoken, now you may all bow to me, the true “god king”!!
Xerxes (2a89ae) — 4/6/2012 @ 11:44 amYou people are stupid!
(This is dedicated to Harpo, aka JHarp)
POS POTUS (2a89ae) — 4/6/2012 @ 11:46 amNO_LIMIT_AMMO
Saint Skittles (721840) — 4/6/2012 @ 12:06 pmShari Lewis wants to cook me for Easter Dinner!
Lampchop (672ba2) — 4/6/2012 @ 12:31 pmThe Dems are doing just fine, leave ’em alone.
jpalmercass (877ee1) — 4/6/2012 @ 12:33 pmTreyvon Martin did not assault that White (so-called Hispanic) cracker busybody in Sanford, Florida. It’s a complete physical impossibility the brother done committed that crime, he was with me at the time in my church praying to Allah for Obama’s reelection.
That’s why we have decided to sweeten the bounty on George Zimmerman’s head, the righteous brother, or sister, who collects the reward will also get a free set of steak knives and a bean pie personally delivered by Malik Shabazz in addition to a life-time subscription to Muhammad Speaks.
The Honorable Louis Farrakhan (badcbe) — 4/6/2012 @ 12:55 pmI may not have had a cell phone, a laptop, or a flat screen television, but I knew a little something about the existence of Marbury VS Madison (1803), unlike this ignorant fool who currently “occupies” the White House.
Then again, back in my day, we didn’t “misplace” our birth certificates or college transcripts.
Rutherford B. Hayes (0ae97d) — 4/6/2012 @ 12:58 pmWE ARE THE LEFT. LOGIC IS IRRELEVANT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED BY THE MARXISTS.
😛
The Borg (1dd0a1) — 4/6/2012 @ 1:13 pmThere is nothing wrong with the Democratic Party that repealing the 22nd Amendment wouldn’t solve.
Bill Clinton (3e4784) — 4/6/2012 @ 1:17 pmReally? Oh, Bill, you’re going to be President again? That would be so cool! And I’ll have a very special present for you when you are inaugurated again.
Monica Lewinsky (3e4784) — 4/6/2012 @ 1:19 pmWhat? Repeal the 22nd, so that white cracker can run against me? I’ll give him a war on women he won’t believe!
The Honorable Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States (3e4784) — 4/6/2012 @ 1:20 pmHello, again, everyone, it’s Charles Johnson of LittleGreenFootballs.com, the anti-anti-jihadist website.
You all know our motto—“We fight the people who are fighting the jihadists.”
Anyhow, I just want to go on record as saying that I think most of you are racist, sexist, homophobes for the way that you attempt to enter facts and logic into your arguments.
And my assertion has nothing to do with the fact that I can’t get legally married in the state of California !
Charles Johnson, proprietor of LittleGreenFootballs.com (0ae97d) — 4/6/2012 @ 1:22 pmPut me in coach!
The Blue Dress (3681c4) — 4/6/2012 @ 1:22 pmDamn that April Fools joke was funny.
Me and my buds all laughed our asses off when we realized we’d been had. I felt a bit silly at first, but then I realized, it’s all in good clean fun, right?
Daily Kos Commenter (67668c) — 4/6/2012 @ 1:41 pmIt would be unprecedented for me to be straight with the American people — so stop asking me to do that!
The Lie-Worker (91e0b5) — 4/6/2012 @ 1:50 pmAnd you all know how astute we are over at Kos – attuned to subtext, and whatnot.
Daily Kos Commenter (870be5) — 4/6/2012 @ 1:52 pmWhy are we bickering about laws being overturned when tornadoes are killing our children and grandchildren? Give us all of your money now or the kids are done for!
Dick Durbin (5e35cd) — 4/6/2012 @ 2:03 pmI’m hoping my mustache will distract people from noticing I have a weak chin.
I’m hoping David Axelrod’s mustache will distract people from noticing I have a weak argument.
And I refuse to make any cracks about Barack’s beard—whose name is Michelle !
After all, just because we can’t confirm the identities of any “former girlfriends” of Barack, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have any.
His “former girlfriends” are kind of like the situation with his college transcripts—they’re so ugly, he can’t reveal them in public !
Ok, and the truth is, his “former girlfriends” just happen to have exotic names like, Adam, Steve, and Hakeem.
Eric Holder (0ae97d) — 4/6/2012 @ 2:10 pm“There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.”
[Individual Mandate, anyone?]
Robert A. Heinlein (91e0b5) — 4/6/2012 @ 2:22 pmSo true, Eric. The Hakeem does have the most marvelous moustache. But I have to point out; you forgot about Reggie.
Barack H. Obama (08336c) — 4/6/2012 @ 2:27 pmBut haven’t we already told you peons that we know how to spend your money much better than you do?
DimoRats (08336c) — 4/6/2012 @ 2:30 pmYou wage your War on Women, I’ll wage my War on Religion, and we’ll see who wins.
See you in the trenches, bitches!
President G.D. America (91e0b5) — 4/6/2012 @ 2:31 pmI have that winning ticket someplace. I seem to have misplaced it. It’s mine and not part of the group I was in at McDonalds.
M. Wilson of Baltimore (a1fcca) — 4/6/2012 @ 2:54 pmHey, I’m just a regular guy trying to eek out a living. The fact that I am every democrat’s favorite socialist, which got me a white house czar gig, hs nothing to do with me being a radical.
Van Jones (a1fcca) — 4/6/2012 @ 3:02 pmMy Cardinals seem to be acquitting themselves well without #5.
JD (34d969) — 4/6/2012 @ 3:04 pmObama can insult jews and the Israeli government all he wants as long as dumb liberal jews keep giving money.
D. Wasserman Schultz (a1fcca) — 4/6/2012 @ 3:06 pmWe need to arrest asian business owners, take their assets and give them to african-americans. No more dirty shops.
Marion Barry DC Councilman (a1fcca) — 4/6/2012 @ 3:22 pmBut all of the people out of work don’t need to buy gasoline.
Steven Chu (ae7ee1) — 4/6/2012 @ 3:35 pmHere’s a fun little game to play. The Democrats are giving away free bumper stickers. The stickers are typically obnoxious — they say “Not a Republican” (I find it interesting that the Democrats have to define themselves by who they are not rather than who they are) — but I figure that if they send me one then I win both ways because (1) I have forced the Democrats to spend money to send me something I won’t use and (2) I have taken up a resource that I won’t display which hopefully leads to one fewer stupid bumper stickers on the back of some Volvo.
Warning, if you do get one of these stickers and give them your real email you will be inundated with email messages from their various sleazy party apparatchiks asking for money. It’s actually quite pathetic, but depressing too.
Flunkies at the DNC (4d72aa) — 4/6/2012 @ 4:36 pmHey, if the Court gets rid of that Obamacare thing, does that mean I can (a) grow more wheat and (b) tell Claude R. Wickard to kiss my butt?
Roscoe Filburn (063632) — 4/6/2012 @ 6:12 pmWe are happy to report the addition of new jobs and the drop in the unemployment rate. Please ignore the fact that the number of people no longer in the work force (not looking for employment) had jumped to 88 million.
White House & MSM (a1fcca) — 4/6/2012 @ 6:20 pmWhat happens in Vegas should stay in Vegas.
GSA spokesperson (a1fcca) — 4/6/2012 @ 6:22 pmThanks for getting your memberships paid on time.
Masters Chairmen Hootie Johnson (44de53) — 4/7/2012 @ 2:13 amNow on the first tee, Bill Gates and Warren Buffett.
It’s those Neanderthal genes that made us so smart.
The Geico Caveman (d22d64) — 4/10/2012 @ 10:21 am