Patterico's Pontifications

I know! I f’d up getting thins started on time. Sure wish Aaron was still around!!!

Patterico (4e5566) — 12/30/2011 @ 4:59 pm

would you know my name
if I saw you in Iowa
would it be the same
if I saw you in Iowa
I must be strong
and carry on
cuz I know, I don’t belong
here in Iowa

Newt Gingrich (c26934) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:11 pm

Thanks for giving us a place to go.

Sockpuppet (fbe938) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:13 pm

If it is a choice between Obama adn Mitt, I guess I have to go with Mitt.

Ann of CT (fbe938) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:15 pm

buhdeeya, buhdeeya, buhdee… why does Fox News make all us guys wear lipstick?

Fred Barnes (c26934) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:18 pm

I really appreciate all of you suffering poor while I get in a nice round of golf here in sunny Hawaii. And Michelle appreciates your tax dollars going to the security to let her and the girls come out here early. Camp David is for wimps.

Obamaman (fbe938) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:19 pm

Don’t knock it Fred, if it were CNBC you’d be forced to wear nylons and high heels.

O'Rielly the man (fbe938) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:21 pm

I like burgers and hotdogs.

Wiener (a2b2b8) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:30 pm

Fred/Bill…you busy later?

Wiener (a2b2b8) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:31 pm

I know! I f’d up getting thins started on time. Sure wish Aaron was still around!!!

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

— The Real Patterico

Patterico (1c6e81) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:34 pm

That was not the real Patterico. This is a sock puppet thread and the real Patterico would not dare use his real name!

(as I just did…the REALLY REAL PATTERICO!)

Patterico (4e5566) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:36 pm

Ok, so my girlfriend turned down a threesome with another guy, but I’m trying to find a hot, open-minded Patterico reader who’d be interested in Huma. She is totally babelicious, and, as you’ve all seen before, I’ve really got the goods, too.

Anthony Weiner (f68855) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:41 pm

You got me, REALLY REAL PATTERICO.

Hey, I’m used to being called the “fake Patterico” or “hacked Patterico.” You can’t faze me.

— The Kinda Sorta Real Patterico But Who Really Knows on This Thread?

Patterico (1c6e81) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:41 pm

This could be your big chance for me to do to you personally what my Party has been doing to the whole country generally.

Anthony Weiner (f68855) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:41 pm

damn it, Fred, I’m watching O’Reilly right now and he has Rob Lowe wearing a red shade of lipstick. But now Colin Quinn’s on and he apparently told Bill to shove the lipstick.

Colonel Haiku (c26934) — 12/30/2011 @ 5:45 pm

Now I’m really confused: I still don’t know why Aaron doesn’t post here any longer…and just how Pattericos are there???

Dana (4eca6e) — 12/30/2011 @ 6:05 pm

Hey, just to let you guys know, I’m standing here in the shadows at the edge of the forest, watching your house and waiting for all the lights to go off before I come closer. No biggie….

Slenderman (40011c) — 12/30/2011 @ 6:11 pm

Heck, I’m still wondering how many Danas there are here! 🙂

the other Dana (f68855) — 12/30/2011 @ 6:12 pm

Give meh Romney or Give me death.

Dalyeorcksschexymangina (ef98f0) — 12/30/2011 @ 6:14 pm

Frosted Faces are part of a nutritious breakfast.

They’re grrrrrreat!!!

Tony the Wenis (800ea2) — 12/30/2011 @ 6:37 pm

Gee, I wonder who left #19.

An Idiot (dd1d7b) — 12/30/2011 @ 6:37 pm

I wonder what alter boys think of abortion?

Mitt (44de53) — 12/30/2011 @ 6:54 pm

What’s an alter boy?

An English Speaker (dd1d7b) — 12/30/2011 @ 7:09 pm

Newt is right. He DOESN’T belong in Iowa and Ron Paul just tried to bribe my Iowa chairper … hey, wait a minute … has anyone seen Kent?

Michelle Bachmann (a025dd) — 12/30/2011 @ 7:20 pm

But 999 was a good idea.

Herman Cain (c65c00) — 12/30/2011 @ 7:28 pm

Notice I still keep my maiden name. There’s a reason for that.

Huma Abedin (c65c00) — 12/30/2011 @ 7:29 pm

Would someone please tell me why I need to pretend the military are important. Oh, right. Election year.

Meechelle Obama (c65c00) — 12/30/2011 @ 7:31 pm

Hollywood is a bunch of bloody bitches.

M. Thatcher (7dbcdc) — 12/30/2011 @ 7:43 pm

What’s an alter boy?

NTTAWWT

Kevin M (563f77) — 12/30/2011 @ 7:54 pm

Remember that story a few weeks back about all of the info that gets tracked on smart phones, etc.?

Where are they all made, along with what were once known as IBM computers?

Compared to that figuring out which patterico is the real patterico is child’s play

Patterico, real or sockpuppet? Only my NSA handler knows for sure (3d3f72) — 12/30/2011 @ 8:08 pm

Wouldn’t it be funny if everyone here was actually using their real name?

Jimmy Hoffa (563f77) — 12/30/2011 @ 8:47 pm

Yes, Jimmy, it would.

Frank Fitzsimmons (a025dd) — 12/30/2011 @ 8:49 pm

Hmmm, I might want to “alter” a boy.

You show me your wenis, I'll show you mine (800ea2) — 12/30/2011 @ 8:58 pm

I’m surprised that Barak and Weiner haven’t hooked up yet.

M. Obama (7dbcdc) — 12/30/2011 @ 8:59 pm

What’s a “Michelle” Bachmann?

While we're at it ... (800ea2) — 12/30/2011 @ 9:00 pm

Wasn’t “Barak” the name of the sidekick on Space Ghost Coast-To-Coast?

And again ... (800ea2) — 12/30/2011 @ 9:02 pm

@#2- Let me just say in all candor, it’s utterly absurd to post poetry posing as an ‘imposter’ posting as me. It’s the kind of sophomoric prose you’d expect to find airing on a low watt PBS channel in Des Moines. And it’s corny. But when I’m president, and make no mistake about it, I will be the GOP nominee, the first thing I’ll do is kill off funding for Big Bird and his foul friends and get you back to home schooling where you belong so you can listen to Rush by day and read my books and your Bible, clutching your guns as you plow deep into the night. Because Rush, and God and I are celebrities, just like Ronald Reagan. Did I mention Ronald Reagan? There, I just did. Again. But it should be self-evident to all voters aross the Hawkeye state that picking a president isn’t as easy as picking corn. Or picking your nose, which, for the coarse corncobblers in Iowa outhouses who’ve deserted me for Rick or Rick or Ron or Mitt and Michelle seems to come second nature. Now it’s true my polls are slipping. Down twenty points in twenty days. But as the highest paid historian in the history of history, this isn’t as big a debacle as my failure to secure enough signatures to make the Virginia ballot. And that’s not just because I live there. Because that is as big a disaster for me, alone, as the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor in December, 1941 was for all of America, when over 2,400 Americans were killed and plunged the nation into the Second World War… or was that the second part of the First World War with a twenty three year break… we historians like to debate that for hours on end, just like Lincoln and Douglas debated, which is why you’ll love to hear me talk for hours on end about me when I debate the communist Kenyan, socialist Stalinist, friend of capitalist Wall Street Obama and beat him in November. Did you know on September 11, 2001, I compared the 9/11 attacks, which killed thousands of Americans, as disastrous to America as the Pearl Harbor attack as well? So Virginians to me are no better than Al Quida. But they are clearly better than the Iowans who deserted me for Rick, and Rick and Ron and Mitt. Of course my first marriage was as disastrous for me as Pickett’s charge was for the Virginian Confederate traitors at Gettysburg, and my second marriage as disastrous as Custer’s defeat at the Little Bighorn. But my ethics problems were only as troublesome as the Cuban Missile Crisis was for the world and my adultery as embarrassing as the shoot down of Gary Powers’ U-2 when he was spying on Russia for Eisenhower. Who knew Ronald Reagan. Did I mention Ronald Reagan yet? There, I just did again. Twice. But that doesn’t seem to be working in Iowa. They don’t seem to be responding to the name Reagan any longer. Let me try again… Reagan. REAGAN! RONALD REAGAN! Reagan, Reagan, Reagan. Did I mention Ronald Reagan?? How about Kemp. Jack Kemp! Reagan, Reagan, Reagan, Kemp, Kemp, Kemp! Did I mention I invented supply side economics for them? You have to respond to Reagan. Of course you do. Now Mitt tried to compare me to the leftist Hollywood pinko, Lucille Ball. Does Mitt know Lucy was a card carrying communist, red to the hairs on her head. Which was an illusion because they were dyed. Just like Ronald Reagan’s. And Reagan knew Lucy. Lucy worked with Reagan. Like I worked with Reagan. Did I mention Ronald Reagan? There, I just did. Again.

Did I mention I want to detain all judges who make decisions I disagree with? Did I agree with Brown versus the Board of Education decision made by an activist Supreme Court? No matter, because although the liberal media elite insist tea is white, we know tea is brown. Like my shirts. And I look and sound very smart in my brown shirts– each with their own diamond stickpin, all gifts from Callista she iked up at Tiffany’s, especially when I wear them with my khaki lederhosen addressing crowds for $60,000 a speech. Now some liberals will say it takes a lot of ‘gaul’ to assert such hard line positions in an election year as crucial as that facing the divided America of 1860. In fact, it only takes having the courage of a gauleiter. And with a disposabel Chinese lighter, together we can light the world by the fires of our ignorance as we burn the laws and opinions we disagree with. Doesn’t that sort of sound like I know what I’m talking about? Of course not, but we’ve been dumbing you down for years, especially in Iowa, so when I profess twenty dollar concepts with five dollar words, exhausted farmers working three jobs with twenty-five cent intellects and ten second attention spans just trying to survive miss most of what I say. . Did I mention Ronald Reagan yet? There I just did. Again.

Middle aged conservatives at 45, adore Ronald Reagan. Worship Ronald Reagan. Did I mention Reagan? There, I just did, three times. Of course, if you turned 45 after November 6, 2011, you never voted for Ronald Reagan. Because you’d have been only 17 and the last time Ronald Reagan was on a ballot was on Novermber 6, 1984. When I was working with Ronald Reagan. Did I mention Reagan? There, I just did. Again. Reagan hasn’t been on a ballot in 27 years. But you voted for him… didn’t you… in your dreams.

Now my scared opponents have labeled me a “bomb thrower.” That’s utterly absurd. In fact, I’m a gas bag. Like the Hindenburg. And as I constantly fume and leak inflammatory remarks, I ignite controversy wherever I drift across the land. Which is why my campaign is bursting into flames, imploding as usual. Next stop, my headquarters in Lakehurst, New Jersey, where I will try to coax Governor Soprano to back me. But he is already pitching to be Mitt’s VeePee and his Jersey attitude should make all Americans west of Trenton and south of Secaucus swoon. And they’ll love him in Iowa, badda-bing. Of course, that’s a back-handed swipe at Italian-Americans. Who are all immigrants, just like the Mexicans who swarm across our unprotected borders at night to harvest our crops and steal our healthcare. Of course the borders could be protected if it was well lighted and I’ve repeatedly proposed putting mirrors into space to direct sunlight down to power streetlamps along the border at night. Any claim that it will fry them like ants on a sidewalk under a magnifying glass is utterly absurd. Because I can tell you it is dark at night for half the day at most places around the world. How do I know this? Because I’m a historian and I like to sound like I know something about the planet. Like how warm it’s getting, which Nancy Pelosi and I told you in a very popular TV commercial. I’m sure you saw it. The climate is changing at both poles, almost as fast as my polls in Iowa. Half of America is officially poor, according to the census, too. Of course that’s just another needless poll invented by liberal thinkers– the same liberals who penned it into the Constitution. Now I ask you matter of factly, would Ronald Reagan have signed on to that? Did I mention Ronald Reagan? There, I just did. Again. Did you know that the only bigger azz in America than me is stitched to the butt-end of the King Kong exhibit at Universal in Florida? =inhale= Let me just say in all candor…

Newt Gingrich (9d1bb3) — 12/30/2011 @ 9:05 pm

There’s no need to alter boys . . .

They’re wondewful just as they are!

Bawney (800ea2) — 12/30/2011 @ 9:11 pm

Michele, Michelle, John Wayne, John Wayne Gacy …

Michelle Bachmann (a025dd) — 12/30/2011 @ 9:30 pm

Mr. Gingrich, I find this graph … HILARIOUS!:

Now my scared opponents have labeled me a “bomb thrower.” That’s utterly absurd. In fact, I’m a gas bag. Like the Hindenburg. And as I constantly fume and leak inflammatory remarks, I ignite controversy wherever I drift across the land. Which is why my campaign is bursting into flames, imploding as usual. Next stop, my headquarters in Lakehurst, New Jersey, where I will try to coax Governor Soprano to back me. But he is already pitching to be Mitt’s VeePee and his Jersey attitude should make all Americans west of Trenton and south of Secaucus swoon. And they’ll love him in Iowa, badda-bing. Of course, that’s a back-handed swipe at Italian-Americans. Who are all immigrants, just like the Mexicans who swarm across our unprotected borders at night to harvest our crops and steal our healthcare. Of course the borders could be protected if it was well lighted and I’ve repeatedly proposed putting mirrors into space to direct sunlight down to power streetlamps along the border at night. Any claim that it will fry them like ants on a sidewalk under a magnifying glass is utterly absurd. Because I can tell you it is dark at night for half the day at most places around the world. How do I know this? Because I’m a historian and I like to sound like I know something about the planet. Like how warm it’s getting, which Nancy Pelosi and I told you in a very popular TV commercial. I’m sure you saw it. The climate is changing at both poles, almost as fast as my polls in Iowa. Half of America is officially poor, according to the census, too. Of course that’s just another needless poll invented by liberal thinkers– the same liberals who penned it into the Constitution. Now I ask you matter of factly, would Ronald Reagan have signed on to that? Did I mention Ronald Reagan? There, I just did. Again. Did you know that the only bigger azz in America than me is stitched to the butt-end of the King Kong exhibit at Universal in Florida? =inhale= Let me just say in all candor…

Michelle Bachmann (a025dd) — 12/30/2011 @ 9:36 pm

Wow, someone doesn’t like Newt.

NTTA…etc.,etc.

Not enough time on my hands (1f2371) — 12/30/2011 @ 10:09 pm

Wow, someone doesn’t like Newt.

There’s really no argument FOR Romney. Just hope the other candidates can be destroyed.

Bashing Newt as a smartypants with those silly long comments (the same exact joke several times now?) is really all the Romney hack has to offer.

Dustin (cb3719) — 12/30/2011 @ 11:19 pm

Hey, speaking of Aaron, where is he? I got a, uh, package for him. It’s only ticking a little.

Brett Kimberlin (05313d) — 12/30/2011 @ 11:47 pm

@#37

Um, uh, that is. Um.

.
.
.
.

Never mind.

Gov. Perry (563f77) — 12/31/2011 @ 12:49 am

Say there, Congressman Weiner, I heard that you also like to “double dip”. Wanna come across the aisle?

Governor Percy Dovetonsils (826c59) — 12/31/2011 @ 2:38 am

Hey obamma-You want your helicopter back? Get on your knees and beg like a dog.

Mohamhead (44de53) — 12/31/2011 @ 2:42 am

Berkshire Hathaway owes over a billion in taxes since 2002. Pay me.

uncle sam (44de53) — 12/31/2011 @ 3:06 am

Mr. Mohamhead, I am inviting you to a BBQ of Pork Shoulder, it’s smoked for 12 hours at 220 . Finger licking good.
May your new year end, soon.

uncle sam (44de53) — 12/31/2011 @ 3:41 am

Uh, Nancy … gotta get off the couch. There’s a certain global warming guru of mine I need to shamelessly throw under the bus.

Newt Gingrich (1936c6) — 12/31/2011 @ 8:53 am

But that’s where they go!

Sarahw (b0e533) — 12/31/2011 @ 9:11 am

it I forgot my hilarious pseudonym. No, wait, *Patterico*
did.

Sarahw (b0e533) — 12/31/2011 @ 9:13 am

Get in mah carbon-powered undercarriage!

Squishy the tidy bus (b0e533) — 12/31/2011 @ 9:15 am

[X] Nudie Bar. [ ] Newtie G.

Al Bundy votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 12:39 pm

Newt, all the way, baby! Texans for Gingrich! Whooooo!!!

Even the most vehement Perry supporter will throw the Rickster under the bus in a heartbeat when it becomes apparent that he cannot possibly win (826c59) — 12/31/2011 @ 3:50 pm

[X] Fig Newton [ ] Newt Gingrich

Cookie Monster votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 4:41 pm

[ ] Rick Perry [X] Rick Santorum

Oops.

Rick Perry votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 4:45 pm

Newt, all the way, baby! Texans for Gingrich! Whooooo!!!

Comment by Even the most vehement Perry supporter will throw the Rickster under the bus in a heartbeat when it becomes apparent that he cannot possibly win

Bizarre how stupid and angry these romney fanatics have been. I’ve always been relatively critical of Perry. They just can’t answer my Romney criticisms, so they insist I’m making it up because only a biased person would claim Romney is a progressive (Even though Romney himself called himself that).

Oh well. There is no argument FOR Romney. Gotta bash the rest. Must be hard work.

Dustin (cb3719) — 12/31/2011 @ 4:54 pm

[ ] Rick Perry [X] Perry Mason

Oops.

Dustin votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 5:08 pm

My PLDC instructor was named Perry Mason. The guy’s reaction on 9/11 was one I’ll never forget.

Anyway, my vote will be against Romney more than for anyone else, and that’s not because Romney’s supporters are dishonest and incredibly ugly (worse than Ron Paul’s by a long shot). Romney’s record is terrible. To the left of the vast majority of democrats. Hillary Clinton is probably about as conservative.

[X] Anybody but Romney.

Dustin (cb3719) — 12/31/2011 @ 5:14 pm

[ ] Mitt Romney [X] yenmoR ttiM

Mitt Romney votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 5:19 pm

Self centered progressive who wants to run in 2012?

[ ] John Mccain [X] Barack Obama

I wouldn’t bet against it.

Mitt Romney's 2008 vote (cb3719) — 12/31/2011 @ 5:20 pm

Anyway, my vote will be against Romney more than for anyone else, and that’s not because Romney’s supporters are dishonest and incredibly ugly (worse than Ron Paul’s by a long shot).

When will the crapmeister give it a rest?

Colonel Haiku (760682) — 12/31/2011 @ 5:21 pm

[ ] From Russia With Love [X] Russia House

Sarah Palin votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 5:22 pm

[ ] bong [X] brownies

Simon Jester votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 5:28 pm

[ ] weed [X] crabgrass

John McCain votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 5:31 pm

[X] rule of men [ ] rule of law

Robert Bork votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 6:50 pm

[ ] leave the gun [X] take the cannoli

Chris Christie votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 6:55 pm

[ ] sharing massive amts of food donated by others with the homeless [X] more goat cheese ravioli for ME

OWS votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 6:56 pm

[X] Edie Adams [ ] Jack Lemmon

Percy Dovetonsils votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 6:58 pm

[ ] proving my “faith in humanity” by putting myself on the railroad tracks [X] putting my four year old out there; WTH I can make another one

OWS Mom votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 6:58 pm

[ ] colon itch [X] Preparation H

Colonel Haiku votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 6:59 pm

[ ] tell on everybody [X] names changed to protect the innocent

Jack Webb votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:00 pm

[ ] me [X] myself & I

OWS votes again (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:01 pm

[X] Hardrock [X] Coco [X] Joe

Santa votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:02 pm

[ ] Obamacare [X] Obama cares

Oops.

Michelle Bachmann votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:04 pm

[ ] millions of dollars and a steady gig [X] WINNING

Charlie Sheen votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:05 pm

[X] You’re a mean one [ ] Newt Gingrich

The Grinch votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:06 pm

[ ] the Americans paying my way here in the White House [X] four more hours in Hawaii

Michelle Obama votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:08 pm

[ ] selling lots of records relying on my talent alone [X] selling lots more records, and my soul, relying on weirdness + salaciousness + giving God the finger

Lady Gaga votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:16 pm

[X] meat [ ] potatoes

Lady Gaga votes for real (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:18 pm

[ ] running on my record [X] running on empty

Obama votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:21 pm

[ ] expensive comestibles [X] food that is value

happyfeet votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:24 pm

[X] send in the clowns [ ] send them the bill

President Obama votes for real (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:25 pm

[ ] blogging in 2012 [ ] not blogging in 2012 [X} aauuuuggh

Patterico votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:26 pm

[X] Red Lucy [ ] Blue Ethel

happyfeet votes for real (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:26 pm

[ ] “MacArthur Park” [X] “Honey”

daleyrocks votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:27 pm

[X] To be [ ] Not to be

Shakespeare votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:28 pm

I am now hearing a few really bad things about Ron Paul.

I heard Mitt Romney isn’t honest or sincere.

I heard Rick Perry can’t think.

I heard Michelle Bachmann gets things wrong.

I heard Herman Cain doesn’t know much and then maybe some other things.

I heard John Huntsman was Obama’s Ambassador to China.

Every 10 minutes or so I am hearing something bad about Newt Gingrich on TV.

Who’s left??

Rick Santorum!!

I think I will vote for Rick Santorum.

The only bad thing I heard was that he voted for the bridge to Nowhere and that he lost his last election.

Iowa caucus Go-er (b17872) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:29 pm

[X] state pen [ ] county jail

daileyrocks votes for real (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:29 pm

[ ]bottle in front of me [X]frontal lobotomy

doh biden votes (760682) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:31 pm

[ ] polish the apple
[X] bob for baby’s arm holding an apple

Gulrud the Destroyer votes (760682) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:34 pm

[ ] To lose Iowa [X] Toulouse Lautrec

Newt Gingrich votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:35 pm

[ ] hobo huntin [X] Jello Pudding Snak Paks

AOSHQ votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:37 pm

[ ] Cartier’s [X] Tiffany’s

Callista Gingrich votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:37 pm

yay value! speaking of value I got the black eyed peas for tonight they smell so good!

They were sorta pricey cause of I had to order them as sides and they didn’t have like a family size one

but they smell so good!

I don’t think they really do black eyed peas here in California for New years though but that’s probably just cause they’re mostly stupid socialists. I expect some resistance.

happyfeet (3c92a1) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:39 pm

[ ] Mothra [X] annoying Japanese man screaming in the street

Godzilla votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:41 pm

see i told you everyone goes and tries to contradict me and see i was right

happyfeet's original vote (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:42 pm

[ ] remake [X] original

Godzilla votes again (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:42 pm

[ ] see I am right [X] see I am wrong

happyfeet votes again (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:44 pm

[X] why [ ] because

Icy votes (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:45 pm

[ ] my choice of ten horrible headed demons [ ] letting them choose Mr. Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man

Gozer the Destructor (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:46 pm

Bizarre how Dustin thinks that #54 was all about him.

Gardasil has warped my fragile little mind! (826c59) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:47 pm

[ ] churches are fair game [X] nobody steps on a church in my town

Bill Murray (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:47 pm

[ ] sanitarium [X] Santorum

Crazy Iowans vote (9d1bb3) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:50 pm

[ ] Jeri Ryan [X] Grace Park

Aaron Worthing votes (ee5d89) — 12/31/2011 @ 7:52 pm

The only thing worse than a candidate that flip-flops on the issues — is a voter that flip-flops on the candidate.

Oscar Wilde (826c59) — 12/31/2011 @ 9:55 pm

It’s no coincidence that I’m here in Hawaii, the place in the U.S. where the calendar flips to 2012 last.

Putting off the inevitable — the end of my political world, not that Mayan thing — as long as possible.

Duffer-in-Chief (826c59) — 12/31/2011 @ 10:01 pm

Hey, this trading by blackberry thing is real cool. Let’s see what position I can take the entire MF Global fund in European debt!

Jon Corzine (721840) — 12/31/2011 @ 10:28 pm

106.The only thing worse than a candidate that flip-flops on the issues — is a voter that flip-flops on the candidate.

I beg to differ. Flip-flopping on sexual orientation can make it worse. You never did flip-flop regarding the manmeat thing, did you? Well played, sir!

Anthony Weiner (721840) — 12/31/2011 @ 10:33 pm

Sir, I care neither where you flipped it, nor where you flopped it.

Your lovely wife, on the other hand? She cares.

Guaranteed.

Meet The Man (826c59) — 12/31/2011 @ 11:00 pm

Whooo! Aggies win!!! Boy howdy, that’s worth a double dip . . . of chaw.

Governor of the Great Estate (826c59) — 12/31/2011 @ 11:10 pm

Well, I don’t care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my Texas Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all the primaries and debates,
We will travel every single state,
With my Texas Jesus we’ll go far.

Tea Party Volunteer (bf33e9) — 1/1/2012 @ 5:43 pm

Let me just say, as my final pitch for your support across the great and corn-flaked state of Iowa, that Callista and I will be available for pictures and autographs throughout the day as the caucuses begin before we forget about this small piece of flyover country. A flat, chilly piece of America’s heartland, whose climate is nurtured by the increasingly warmer rays of the sun and the countless blocks of blue-green ice falling from jetliners passing far overhead. Later, we’ll wing our way to New Hampshire as fast as we can by a very expensive, private chartered plane which will fly high enough to add our exhaust to the ozone layer and keep all true conservatives happy. Why? Because we’re wealthy one percenters. And we’re celebrities. Just like Ronald Reagan. Did I mention Ronald Reagan? There, I just did. Again. Most of you voters in Iowa have seen a great deal of negative ads about me for a month or so from my good friends Mitt and Ron. So let me stop being Newt and start being ‘frank’ for a minute and go negative myself…. as any Frank, Tom, Dick or Harriet could plainly see, their dirty ads were terrible but effective. Why? Of course, they’d have had no impact on you if there wasn’t a grain of truth to them, but that’s an another issue entirely. Because my record isn’t the issue. My cameo in a Spielberg movie is a much better way to remember my presidential potential. I played a small role in Indiana Jones And The Temple of Doom as an out-of-control Ford Tri-motor that slammed into a mountain and burst into flames, just like my campaign here in the Hawkeye state. Memorable to be sure. Of course, Henry Ford, who built those wonderful aeroplanes was a wealthy one percenter, too. Like me. So was Ronald Reagan. And Reagan was in the movies, too. And Reagan became our party’s nominee. Just like I will be the nominee. Did I mention Ronald Reagan yet? There, I just did. Again. Several times. =inhale= Let me just say…

Newt Gingrich (9d1bb3) — 1/2/2012 @ 10:57 pm

GOP was having trouble
What a sad, sad story
Needed a new leader
To restore its former glory
Where, oh where was he?
Where could that man be?
We looked around
And then we found
The man for you and me
And now it’s…

Springtime for Gingrich and GOP
Maddow is giddy and gay
Reagan them in a frantic pace
Look out
A Romney-Newt debate

Springtime for Gingrich and Tiffany’s
Winter for Cartier’s in France
Springtime for Gingrich and Tiffany’s
Come on, Newties
Go into your dance

I was named Newton Leroy
And liked the zoo as a small boy

Don’t be stupid, be a smarty
Come and join my ‘New-‘T’-Party’

Springtime for Gingrich and GOP
New Hampshire’s the next place to play
Bomb throwing wrapped in lies again
Reagan is on the rise again

Springtime for Gingrich and GOP
Iran’s gone shopping once more
Springtime for Gingrich and GOP

Means that soon we’ll be going
We’ve got to be going
You know we’ll be going to war

Mel Brooks (9d1bb3) — 1/3/2012 @ 8:45 pm

Stick a fork in me, y’all. I’m done.

Rick Perry (9d1bb3) — 1/3/2012 @ 9:01 pm

Ah yes, Romney fans being classless. Water being wet.

Dustin (cb3719) — 1/3/2012 @ 9:16 pm

Remember the Alamo. Best dang rental cars in San Antonio.

Oops.

Rick Quit (9d1bb3) — 1/3/2012 @ 9:17 pm

Dun got my arse kicked. By that thare Yankee Rick. So I quit.

Secessionist Rick (9d1bb3) — 1/3/2012 @ 9:21 pm

I’m in. I’m out. I’m in a’gin… I live for that there In ‘N’ Out. Best dang fries north of Austin.

Vanilla Shake Perry (9d1bb3) — 1/4/2012 @ 11:59 am

Dun got my arse kicked. By that thare Yankee Rick. So I quit.

Comment by Secessionist Rick

Romney fans have so much contempt for this guy. They can’t even keep it together long enough to know what he’s doing.

Sure, Rick ain’t perfect, but anyone who actually hates him is quite a nutcase… or of the lefty persuasion (which is fine, but own it).

Romney fans are so often nothing more than trolls. You can go to a dozen sites and see it. It’s a huge mistake to have that mentally further infect this party. It’s tearing it apart for a cult of personality.

Dustin (cb3719) — 1/4/2012 @ 12:02 pm

12/30/2011

Sockpuppet Friday — Belated Edition

120 Responses to “Sockpuppet Friday — Belated Edition”

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