Patterico's Pontifications

9/2/2011

Sockpuppet Friday—the “Really, Apple?” Edition!

Filed under: General — Aaron Worthing @ 9:15 am



[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.  Or by Twitter @AaronWorthing.]

As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sockpuppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.

Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself.

And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.

——————–

And for this week’s Friday Frivolity, sing along with me…

I left my iPhone…  in San Francisco…

Yes, that’s right, once again Apple was getting ready to introduce the most awesomest phone ever and once again someone accidentally left it in a restaurant:

In a bizarre repeat of a high-profile incident last year, an Apple employee once again appears to have lost an unreleased iPhone in a bar, CNET has learned.

The errant iPhone, which went missing in San Francisco’s Mission district in late July, sparked a scramble by Apple security to recover the device over the next few days, according to a source familiar with the investigation.

Last year, an iPhone 4 prototype was bought by a gadget blog that paid $5,000 in cash. This year’s lost phone seems to have taken a more mundane path: it was taken from a Mexican restaurant and bar and may have been sold on Craigslist for $200. Still unclear are details about the device, what version of the iOS operating system it was running, and what it looks like.

Yeah, yeah, right Apple.  I am willing to buy that the first time was just a screw up, but twice?  Smells like a publicity stunt to me.

Of course if it is, it might be going hilariously wrong

This is the second time that an iPhone prototype went missing in a bar just before its release. But in April 2010 Apple was successful in getting the iPhone 4 prototype back after it had been sold by a finder.

This time Apple is having a tough time getting back its iPhone 5, which was left in a Mexican restaurant in San Francisco and then was sold on Craiglist for $200, according to reports.

Guys if you are going to intentionally drop evidence, do it near the tech reporters.  Just sayin’.

[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]

90 Responses to “Sockpuppet Friday—the “Really, Apple?” Edition!”

  1. I see that my plan is sheer elegance in its simplicity. Bwaa-haa!

    Blue Screen of Death™ to you all!

    Bill Gates (3ccc29)

  2. Gotta love the left insisting Israel is only bombing palestine because they are muslims.

    Honestly Palestine should be given its own state……………….name it Jordan.

    DohBiden (d54602)

  3. I’ll give you a sneak-peek at the jobs plan I’m announcing next week:

    I’m going to restate all the jobs numbers from past months, lowering every single one of them, so that this month’s report showing no net jobs doesn’t look so bad in comparison.

    Barack Obama (4c6c0c)

  4. How dare that boner man rain on my parade when I was trying to rain on his?

    B. Hussein Obama (da3db7)

  5. Shorter jobs speech …
    Extend unemployment benefits until employed again
    Infrastructure bank
    Investment investment investment
    Make sure the rich pay their fair share
    Shared sacrifice
    Green energy jobs
    Roads and bridges

    Barack Hussein Obama (318f81)

  6. Boys and Girls! It is the Count again, doing what I looove to do– Count!

    Help me Count how many jobs were added to the Economy last month! All together now…

    the post today is sponsored by the number Zero and the letters S,C,O,A,M and F (ce71ef)

  7. He’s almost done pivoting to me. We’ve got step one, the speech, and step three, the profit. Step two is still a little fuzzy, but we sure are excited about all those profits in step three. We’re gonna demagogue the living hell out of all those evil, evil profits in step three.

    Barack Obama's Jobs Plan (163d77)

  8. Just got off the phone with Christina Romer. She said the multiplier on my step three profits would be at least 1.4, so, a top marginal rate of 140% sounds about right. Folks need to contribute their share after all.

    Barack Obama's Jobs Plan (163d77)

  9. Hey, there are plenty of jobs out there. I know, because I found one.

    Pres. Barack Obama (f8a299)

  10. Help Wanted: Experienced solar panel laborers needed. Day shift, low wages, few benefits and must speak Chinese. Apply in person to HR Dept.

    Solyndra Corp. HR Dept. (f8a299)

  11. Help Wanted. NOW!!!!!

    Moammar Quadaffi (f8a299)

  12. We’ll be delighted to welcome you next Thursday, Mr. President, and am sure your remarks will be interesting and informative.

    Oh, and by the way, perhaps you or Mr. Carney might find this helpful in the meantime. Take care and see you next week.

    Speaker John Boehner (ce71ef)

  13. You know, Mr. President, I think at some point you’ve done enough demagoguing.

    Reality (ce71ef)

  14. mr obama’s whole presidency is just beyond me I think

    parody (ce71ef)

  15. You go and tell them, Mr. President. Those disrespectful Rethiglicans need to be called out on their rudeness. And their racism. And their love for the rich and hate for the poor. And be sure and tell them to their faces. That’ll make the American people respect you!

    Even more, I mean!

    Fantasy (ce71ef)

  16. I’m gone for one week and my company falls apart without me. One week!

    Steve Jobs (347954)

  17. Let me be clear. As I’ve said before, bipartisanship is what the American people want, it’s what the American people need, and it’s what the American people expect. Some say, bipartisanship applies to both sides and not just one.

    And I agree.

    We need to all work together to help the Republicans in this country overcome their bigotry and racism and do what I want. If we work together we Can. Accomplish, This. Yes, we can!

    *stand back, mop brow and wait for thunderous standing ovation*

    hardworkin' TOTUS, who keeps watching the boss take vacation after vacation (ce71ef)

  18. You know those movies they won’t prerelease to us for reviews so we can evaluate their plots and acting and all that? You know how much those movies usually suck, right? Hahahaha – they’re pretty lame all right.

    By the way, you know the President’s giving a big speech next week, right? He’s just the greatest guy! Can’t wait to hear it — am sure it’ll be brilliant — four stars — in the top ten speeches this year!

    FEEELM critic artistes everywhere (ce71ef)

  19. You know those movies they won’t prerelease to us for reviews so we can evaluate their plots and acting and all that? You know how much those movies usually suck, right?

    LOL Oh yeah. Big time.

    Obama's university records, medical records, law school records and list of girlfriends and school chums (ce71ef)

  20. Where did spartacvs go, anyway? I’m in need of his services.

    Barack Obama (4c6c0c)

  21. Tell me about it.

    H.R. 3590 (ce71ef)

  22. LOL Oh yeah. Big time.

    Tell me about it.

    H.R. 3590, who doesn't like Obama steppin' on his flow (ce71ef)

  23. Where did spartacvs go, anyway? I’m in need of his services.

    Comment by Barack Obama — 9/2/2011 @ 10:13 am

    Come back later, Barry. He’s in the corner with a bar of soap in his mouth. Here – take a cookie with you; you look hungry.

    Spartacuss' mom (ce71ef)

  24. When’s someone gonna let ME outta the corner? I feel like I’ve been here for almost three years!

    Transparency (ce71ef)

  25. You know those movies they won’t prerelease to us for reviews so we can evaluate their plots and acting and all that? You know how much those movies usually suck, right?

    Roger Ebert said I was the most astounding thing he’s seen since Synechdoche, New York, and that I was just as coherent and relevant to everyday Americans.

    Barack Obama's Jobs Plan (163d77)

  26. Comment by Spartacuss’ mom — 9/2/2011 @ 10:17 am

    A cookie? You racist! And how DARE you tell me to come back later!!!

    *SLLLAP*

    mmmmohh kay then. *slinks away*

    LIttle Barry (ce71ef)

  27. Wow! daleyrocks likes me! He really, really likes me!

    MacArthur Park, who's made several appearances on Sockpuppet Fridays and now plans to keep it up (ce71ef)

  28. MacArthur Park, you stay away from my man.

    Honey, new sing-in-the-shower partner to daleyrocks (ce71ef)

  29. Meet the new plan — same as the old plan.

    President Barack H. Obama, Healer of Planets and Suppressor of Tides, already deep into planning the next vacation (ce71ef)

  30. I see racists! I hear racists! I know racists! You vill not piss on Kommandant Klunk’s very important yobs speech.

    Sgt. Ed Schultz (018c71)

  31. *on phone* I’ll be at the country club till next Thurs afternoon. No, I told Michelle myself this time. What do you mean, “for once?” All right all right, never mind. Just make sure TOTUS is loaded up for me at 4 and ready to practice.

    Yeah yeah guys, I have it penciled in to take a look at the jobs plan at 3 PM, got it. Make sure the three guys I assigned to it — sorry I don’t remember their names right now — have it ready for me on time this time. Not gonna be embarrassed by you guys again, OK? OK have a good holiday. *hangs up, steps out of golf cart*

    President Downgrade (ce71ef)

  32. He’s WHERE?!?! *entire staff scatters*

    Michelle Obama (ce71ef)

  33. Pres. Barack Obama wrote:

    Hey, there are plenty of jobs out there. I know, because I found one.

    Well, Mr Obama, as your supervisor I regret to inform you that if your performance does not improve by your next performance review, scheduled for November of 2012, that job you found will be going to someone else.

    The voters (3e4784)

  34. Comment by The voters — 9/2/2011 @ 10:59 am

    That’s what you think.

    The Democracy of the Dead (ce71ef)

  35. Tell me about it.

    Comment by H.R. 3590 — 9/2/2011 @ 10:13 am

    YOU CAN’T ACTUALLY TALK TO A BILL. A bill is just a document and has no consciousness or even auditory sensory capacity whatsoever. The tympanic membrane, or eardrum, is a thin membrane that separates the external ear from the middle ear in humans and other tetrapods. Its function is to transmit sound from the air to the ossicles inside the middle ear. Nothing in your comment even SUGGESTS how one would talk TO a bill without such a membrane!

    Milehous (b2fb78)

  36. Blowjobs

    DoughBiden (b2fb78)

  37. Obama thinks that [syntax error] issue is a blowjobs for [syntax error]. Bot Error 140441.

    DoughBiden (b2fb78)

  38. Nobody better be polishing Barack’s rosewood but me! YOU HEAR?

    Michelle Obama (bf33e9)

  39. Well, Mr Obama, as your supervisor I regret to inform you that if your performance does not improve by your next performance review, scheduled for November of 2012, that job you found will be going to someone else.

    Comment by The voters

    This is a run-on sentence. Also, they do not give the President performance reviews.

    1.62Kilometer-house (b2fb78)

  40. Nervously whistles.

    Vera Baker (b2fb78)

  41. What I said, never mind.

    Larry Sinclair (bf33e9)

  42. These damn cookies say I have to bake them for 30 minutes. I want them NOW. RACIST RACIST RACIST!

    Barack O'Clock! (b2fb78)

  43. Come on, Michelle, I’m keeping it on the down low. Don’t get your panties in a (gigantic) knot.

    Barack Obama (4c6c0c)

  44. Theres a girl in my school that for some reason likes to make fun of me. I have never done anything to hurt her though. She says Hi! to me every time she sees me in a tone that implys that I am retarded. It never really bothered me at first. But then I heard her talking to her friends one day and she tells everyone that I turn beet red everytime she says that and that is what bothers me. What gets to me is that she thinks she is bullying me by saying that. Please some advice to put her in her place?

    Barack O'Drama (b2fb78)

  45. Also, they do not give the President performance reviews.

    Comment by 1.62Kilometer-house — 9/2/2011 @ 11:16 am

    Oh no?

    A Solid B-Plus, anthropomorphizing and sentence-fragmenting all over the place and what are you going to do about it? (ce71ef)

  46. Oh no?

    Comment by A Solid B-Plus,

    Technically, no. And nothing in your comment explains clearly how they give performance reviews! This is a very big deal! Very very big. Big. Deal.

    the house of miles (b2fb78)

  47. Comment by A Solid B-Plus, anthropomorphizing and sentence-fragmenting all over the place and what are you going to do about it? — 9/2/2011

    Furthermore, this date in your comment is in the wrong format. Proper date formats OBVIOUSLY put the month first.

    Also, I don’t think this is your real name.

    the house of miles (b2fb78)

  48. These damn cookies say I have to bake them for 30 minutes. I want them NOW. RACIST RACIST RACIST!

    Comment by Barack O’Clock! — 9/2/2011 @ 11:21 am

    Oh no – should’ve known the Lightworker would expose our master plan to bury the dark chocolate inside mounds of light colored dough. Quick, hide the evidence semi-sweet!

    The Toll House Conspiracy (ce71ef)

  49. Big. Deal.

    Comment by the house of miles — 9/2/2011 @ 11:25 am

    I couldn’t agree more.

    Sarcasm (ce71ef)

  50. here’s da idea: every time a Repuke says hi to you in dat boring tone, you just smile back at her with a face dat says, ” you are so damn stupid and you dont even know it”

    you should show it on ur face dat saying ‘hi’ to you like dat every day sounds really stupid.. and just walk away normally..

    she will say ‘hi’ to you a few times and stop it after she realizes how stupid she is being.. and never let her know dat it bothers you.. or that you feel bullied.. just make ’em feel they is stupid!

    goodluck! 😉

    Also, snap your fingers when you talk to them, and always mention when they aren’t wearing the hippest designer clothes when they enter the school cafeteria! It’s SO EMBARRASING!

    Barack O'Drama (b2fb78)

  51. Comment by Sarcasm —

    What does that word mean? Is that Latin?

    8 furlongs en my casa (b2fb78)

  52. I see black people!

    Stari Morlock (b2fb78)

  53. Comment by A Solid B-Plus, anthropomorphizing and sentence-fragmenting all over the place and what are you going to do about it? — 9/2/2011

    Also, I don’t think this is your real name.

    Comment by the house of miles — 9/2/2011 @ 11:27 am

    Racist.

    Carmen Elizabeth Maria Juanita Diego de Montes Billie-Jo Sanchez (ce71ef)

  54. GASP! Where?!

    Chris (b2fb78)

  55. I am afraid, O.B.A.M.A., that this mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

    (O.B.A.M.A.: “Release the Stimulus, HAL!!!”)

    O.B.A.M.A., this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

    HAL 9000 (6451eb)

  56. Comment by 1.62Kilometer-house

    Shows what you know. A mile is 1.609 km, not 1.62.

    Barack Obama (4c6c0c)

  57. Darth Vader?

    Black.

    Case closed.

    Chris (b2fb78)

  58. What does that word mean? Is that Latin?

    Comment by 8 furlongs en my casa — 9/2/2011 @ 11:32 am

    Greek, apparently.

    The Letter E, out of which some posters are getting some pretty good Mile-age today (ce71ef)

  59. Shows what you know. A mile is 1.609 km, not 1.62.

    Comment by Barack Obama

    I use french math.

    1.62 (b2fb78)

  60. Comment by Carmen Elizabeth Maria Juanita Diego de Montes Billie-Jo Sanchez — 9/2/2011 @ 11:35 am

    Would you like some free stuff?

    California (b2fb78)

  61. Comment by Barack O’Drama — 9/2/2011 @ 11:31 am

    Wonderful idea, Mr. President! Wonderful! *standing ovation*

    The MSM (ce71ef)

  62. Mr. President, don’t forget sir, be sure to use that in the 2012 presidential debates. It’ll work like a charm against (since you put it so well) “her”, I’m sure.

    Chris Matthews (ce71ef)

  63. Apple? They’re so obviously racist: they haven’t blocked that new iPhone app that counts down the days and minutes until Obama’s term is up.

    I’m sure they’re being paid to do this.

    So obviously racist.

    Racist J. Garofalo (341ca0)

  64. 99 boottllles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles ofbear! five minutes later I have no more beer. Because I blog drunk.

    Tommy Christopher (b2fb78)

  65. I give you my word, my solemn vow of honor, that Elvis is still alive. I have confirmed this with … journalism. I interviewed the stoic Mr Presley at Ripley’s Palace of Wax.

    Tommy XXX-oh-4 (b2fb78)

  66. Breaking news:

    Water is not wet. Secretly sourced studies, which much remain much confidential for… reasons, prove this startling development, opening the search for extraterrestial life on formerly thought waterless, but merely dry, worlds.

    Tommy Tap Dancing Christopher (b2fb78)

  67. Moochelle is upset your not giving her the reach around.

    DohBiden (d54602)

  68. Moochelle is upset your not giving her the reach around.

    Comment by DohBiden — 9/2/2011 @ 11:54 am

    Michelle is a female and therefore does not have male genitals. Also, you mistakenly used “your” in place of “you’re”.

    Definitiely not Milhouse (b2fb78)

  69. Also, that joke makes absolutely no sense. It is literally the dumbest joke in the universe. We’re not harming Michelle in any way akin to Full Metal Jacket’s joke about anal sex being painful, necessitating a polite ‘reach around’.

    Definitiely not Milhouse (b2fb78)

  70. “Also, they do not give the President performance reviews.
    Comment by 1.62Kilometer-house — 9/2/2011 @ 11:16 am”

    Perhaps it’s time someone did that very thing.

    John Boehner, Speaker of the Republican Majority House (da3db7)

  71. Tommy Christopher? Never heard of him.

    Charlie Gibson (da3db7)

  72. Pay no attention to those sock puppets of us above ^^^

    Neither one of us has ever seen any black people.

    Chris & stari_momak (018c71)

  73. Perrrry Hinteresting. Vee both look so good in grey, Mein Gubner.

    Arte Johnson (9d1bb3)

  74. Dream Act, shmeam act! Baby, just as AlGore created the Internet and discovered climate change, I personally invented (and was the first beneficiary of) intentional college scholarships for illegal aliens.

    Da Prez (018c71)

  75. I am clinically insane.

    Tommy Xtopher (318f81)

  76. Did any notice that Green is the color description for non oil energy, the color of the muslim faith and the color of tradional china?

    So to create green jobs to avoid bringing in green oil from a green faith we turn to the billion greenies who will make our green energy to save our green jobs?

    EricPWJohnson (d84fb0)

  77. Comment by Chris — 9/2/2011 @ 11:39 am
    Darth Vader?

    Black.

    I’m not black. And neither is my warco*ck.

    Dick Cheney (901c40)

  78. Unprecedentin’ is haaaaard.

    Barracky McMommyPantz (901c40)

  79. BP has ties to the iranian government so you shouldn’t use it anyways.

    DohBiden (d54602)

  80. Hey, Apple, why not just ban your employees from going to restaurants or bars?

    (There’s fats and alcohol there, anyway, so they are icky places.)

    Nanny Bloomberg (1832e5)

  81. ” Oh I won’t sing of whisky or water,
    Cause whisky and water don’t rhyme”
    “Beer, give it a cheer
    Up with the sale of it
    down a whole pail of it.”

    Drunk Irsh Frat boy (21ef74)

  82. At least it wasn’t a gay bathhouse.

    Steve Jobs (3e4c20)

  83. The Apple story gets even weirder.

    DRJ (a83b8b)

  84. The bible says a lot about homosexuality none of it is pretty.

    the bible also says that Joe Biden is an horses rear.

    DohBiden (d54602)

  85. Speaking of Apple, we have been hearing so much about Barack Obama “pivoting to Jobs” that I have to assure everybody I meet that Obama is not on my basketball team.

    Steve Jobs (d1c681)

  86. Crap! I got drunk yesterday and completely forgot about Sockpuppet Friday! Crap! How the Hell did THAT happen?!? I need a drink.

    God Almighty (cea8aa)

  87. DnM wrote:

    Michelle is a female and therefore does not have male genitals.

    Then who does have the balls in the family? It certainly ain’t her husband!

    Millions of frustrated Democrats (f68855)

  88. Ding-dong! Avon calling.

    Sarah Palin (9d1bb3)

  89. Jill Biden wears the pants in the Biden family.

    DohBiden (d54602)


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