Sockpuppet Friday — the Debt Ceiling Media Narratives Edition
[Posted by Karl]
As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sockpuppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself.
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
Allow me to get the ball rolling by sockpuppeting the establishment media coverage and commentary on the debt ceiling talks:
Republicans are scorched-earth partisans; Democrats are only partisan out of principle and sound policy. Republicans opposing attaching tax increases to the debt ceiling are intransigent; Democrats demanding attaching tax increases to the debt ceiling (and no entitlement reform) are not. Republicans threatening to vote against a debt ceiling hike are recklessly endangering America; Democrats would never, ever, ever do such a thing. Our constitutional system of separated powers and checks and balances is utterly dysfunctional, preventing a progessive solution. Today’s conservatives are just plain crazy; why can’t we have more dead ones? The House GOP is the “Party of No,” having passed a budget and an overwhelmingly popular “Cut, Cap & Balance” bill to address the debt ceiling. In contrast, Pres. Obama shows real leadership by refusing to present a plan. “Sincerely,”
The Establishment Media
P.S. — We’ve always been at war with Eastasia.
–Karl
Why can’t those racist Republican teabaggers follow the wisdom of Ronald Reagan, whom I’ve always revered when convenient?
Paul Krugman (a18ddc) — 7/22/2011 @ 12:51 pmThis is a CRISIS. The debt ceiling must be raised before August 2, or else everyone’s grandma will die. So everybody, listen up; take the weekend off to visit grandma just in case.
Harry Reid (d78fd0) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:05 pmLet me tell you, you witless American Tea Baggers, borrowing and stimulating your economy really is the way to go; it works every time.
George Papandreou (3e4784) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:11 pmOf course, it does help if you have a witling like Angela Merkel to tax her people to bail you out.
George Papandreou (3e4784) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:13 pmI am leading by not having a plan. Not leading is leading. Just like not engaging in commerce is actually engaging in commerce.
BarAck Obama (dbec08) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:13 pmI’m all for deficit reduction, as soon as I’m out of office.
preznit mulligan (e7577d) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:14 pmSure, we authorized spending on these programs on April 15, 2011 when we passed the budget, but I want to re-vote on the deficit spending that I already voted for and which didn’t bother me from 2000 to now!
If you don’t give me what I want, then the economy gets it.
As the Speaker, I found the funniest thing so far was Karl’s assertion, (as a lawyer, no less) that the CCB is a workable law. (how does one limit one’s expenditures to 18% of GDP, when one does not know what GDP is until the end of the year….at which time the economy has generally grown even more!) Even I knew this was stupid; I just did it to stay Speaker and screw Cantor.
Otherwise, Karl’s disingenuous complaints about media bias, where one half a branch of government is turning a procedural vote into a Depression, are just stupid. Half a branch, controlled by me, and we direct all of Washington! Hell, it’s half of half of a branch, because no one cares what Senators say or those pansy House Dems say. Why, San Fran Nan, doesn’t even hand out lobbyist checks on the House floor like I used to.
Ah, my modern GOP, sticking it to America in the name of ideology
John Boehner (449046) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:23 pmIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’m still dead.
Ed McMahon (69b8a1) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:24 pmrisible takes of
ColonelHaiku (4de8c2) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:26 pmthe ferret-faced Paul Krugman
not worth a damn dime
Piss off and get off mah website you meanies.
CharlesJohnson (d54602) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:29 pmThe creepy stalkerish thingie is a lying disingenuous douchenozzle no matter what name he comments under.
JD (dbec08) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:31 pmDon’t worry about the debt.
Ben Bernanke (7b7c30) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:43 pmSoon as the banks pay me back the $16T I’ve loaned them, I can pay back the Gov’t, and we can retire the debt.
Didja hear how I said Sarah Palin’s family’s a buncha inbred weirdos right out of The Hills Have Eyes? Didja, huh? Calling a Republican’s spawn a bunch of mutants – now that’s good TV!
……What?…What’s a Piper? What do you mean, crying? What do I care if some pipe cries? C’mon everybody, laugh and applaud some more for ME!
Bill Maher (325a59) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:50 pmComment by John Boehner — 7/22/2011 @ 1:23 pm
Seriously, John, you limit spending to a percentage of GDP of the previous like odd/even year; since, you consider the budget for the coming FY in the Winter in the middle of a FY, and the only info you have is for the FY that ended the previous Fall (30 Sep): That is the GDP figure you use as your baseline.
This has the added benefit of putting a brake on expenditures as you’re always a bit behind current activity.
I thought I taught you better than that?
Milton Friedman (7b7c30) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:54 pmOf course there’s no gold in Fort Knox. Do you really think China’s been “loaning” us all that money out of the goodness of their little ChiCom hearts?
Axe me no questions (1def19) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:56 pmBill! Hey, dummy!
Steven Crowder (325a59) — 7/22/2011 @ 1:57 pmWell, I for one welcome our new socialist masters!
Kent Brockman (8096f2) — 7/22/2011 @ 2:36 pmKicking back to some Bing Crosby tunes after a few square meals and a good night’s sleep, I’ve come to realize that not everything I see on the Internet is connected to everything else I see on the Internet. Coincidence and how it fits into the laws of probability is making sense to me and I’m starting to see the value of common sense. I’d like to apologize to the real people I’ve treated as sockpuppets, and to the sockpuppets I’ve treated as real people.
ronbryn (707f3d) — 7/22/2011 @ 2:39 pmHey you twits in the Hosue, it is very simple. No BS crap, just raise the debt limit $500 billion, and cut $500 billion from spending, like funding NPR. That will delay things until say December. Pass that bill, then go on vacation. Tell the world, you have done your part, its up to Harry boy now.
C Kruthammmer (0cd6a2) — 7/22/2011 @ 2:53 pmRest assured, the Senate will not agree to raise the debt limit unless we get to tax somebody.
Harry the Reid (0cd6a2) — 7/22/2011 @ 2:58 pmHey, Harry, tax this!
Sonny Corleone (7b7c30) — 7/22/2011 @ 3:09 pmI’m going to step out in the Rose Garden this afternoon and give a press conference saying that Boehner has left me like a bride at the altar—many many times. Boo hoo hoo! {Ol Baracky actually said something like this this afternoon.}
Of course I’m not going to tell my admirers in the press that Boehner dumped me because he learned I had tertiary fiscal syphylis and a billion maxed out credit cards. Oh no, I won’t say that!
That Boehner is a faithless hussy I’m going to sue for breach of promise.
Barack O'Bozo (0e06a9) — 7/22/2011 @ 3:31 pmHe played on our fears!
Algore (1def19) — 7/22/2011 @ 3:37 pmJohn Boehner (7) doesn’t like CCB, but left out the budget he helped pass. Awfully forgetful of him. And for Speaker of the House, pretty out of touch with the whole checks & balances concept.
Timmah! (1c1b70) — 7/22/2011 @ 4:42 pmThe fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the U.S. Government can’t pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government’s reckless fiscal policies. … Increasing America’s debt weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means that “the buck stops here.” Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren. America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better.
The Adult in the Room, circa 2006 (1c1b70) — 7/22/2011 @ 4:49 pmThere will be no default even if we can’t reach an agreement to increase the debt limit, in which case I’ve issued an Executive Order to prioritize spending.
The US will pay every penny of interest on our debt obligations, Social Security, Medicare, VA benefits, military pay, welfare, and food stamps by simply withholding all pay checks from government employees starting with the President and Vice President, Congress, all my czars and other assorted flunkies, and every last overpaid and under-worked bureaucrat on the federal payroll.
I’m certain we can expect an overall improvement in efficiency with no untimely delays or loss of services.
Barack Obama (1def19) — 7/22/2011 @ 4:51 pmall demagogic
ColonelHaiku (4de8c2) — 7/22/2011 @ 4:53 pmarrogance and petulance
King Barry the First
#21 Hey Harry, Tax this!
My quote exactly.
Anthony Weiner (via twitter) (629361) — 7/22/2011 @ 5:13 pmOK, Smartypants, Mr Big-Shot Speaker, not returning my phone calls hurts my feelings and makes me look weak and silly, and a man in my position can’t be seen as weak and silly.
You’ve got no idea of the grief I’ll get from Michelle and Valerie, those harpies never shut-up, and they’ll make me move the goalposts. And, it’s all gonna be your fault, so there.
Barack Obama (1def19) — 7/22/2011 @ 5:14 pmWhy can’t those racist Republican teabaggers follow the wisdom of Ronald Reagan, whom I’ve always revered when convenient?
Comment by Paul Krugman — 7/22/2011 @ 12:51 pm
Didn’t Obama vote against raising the debt ceiling in 2006 saying the Bush administration was guilty of overspending?
Ronald Reagan (aa856e) — 7/22/2011 @ 9:43 pmThat’s what I’m talking about.
AZ Bob Tucson (aa856e) — 7/22/2011 @ 9:44 pmRonald Reagan,
See #25
The Adult in the Room, circa 2006 (1c1b70) — 7/22/2011 @ 9:56 pmThat is what I was talking about.
AZ Bob Tucson (aa856e) — 7/22/2011 @ 10:24 pmI really WAS the only adult in the room!
That’s why there was nothing childish about me picking up my ball and going home.
Teh Big "Oh Shit, We're Fucked!" (90394c) — 7/22/2011 @ 11:21 pmYou choir preachers are completely full of crap!
But I don’t really have an opinion on this issue. I’m neutral.
But seriously, you wingers are totally wrong in your view of the thing that I take no sides on.
Danni (90394c) — 7/22/2011 @ 11:32 pmI can fill this hole if you’ll all just shut up and keep digging. . .
Dick "Shovel Ready" Obama (daf1dc) — 7/23/2011 @ 4:20 pmThe fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the U.S. Government can’t pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government’s reckless fiscal policies.
Over the past 5 years, our federal debt has increased by $3.5 trillion to $8.6 trillion.That is “trillion” with a “T.” That is money that we have borrowed from the Social Security trust fund, borrowed from China and Japan, borrowed from American taxpayers. And over the next 5 years, between now and 2011, the President’s budget will increase the debt by almost another $3.5 trillion.
Numbers that large are sometimes hard to understand. Some people may wonder why they matter. Here is why: This year, the Federal Government will spend $220 billion on interest. That is more money to pay interest on our national debt than we’ll spend on Medicaid and the State Children’s Health Insurance Program. That is more money to pay interest on our debt this year than we will spend on education, homeland security, transportation, and veterans benefits combined. It is more money in one year than we are likely to spend to rebuild the devastated gulf coast in a way that honors the best of America.
And the cost of our debt is one of the fastest growing expenses in the Federal budget. This rising debt is a hidden domestic enemy, robbing our cities and States of critical investments in infrastructure like bridges, ports, and levees; robbing our families and our children of critical investments in education and health care reform; robbing our seniors of the retirement and health security they have counted on.
Every dollar we pay in interest is a dollar that is not going to investment in America’s priorities.
Senator Barack Obama
Sen Barack Obama, Liar-in-Chief (318f81) — 7/23/2011 @ 6:46 pmSenate Floor Speech on Public Debt
March 16, 2006
Blub, blub, blub.
Rudolph Hess's Ashes (2d6125) — 7/23/2011 @ 11:08 pmI’am not a stalker.
DohBiden (d54602) — 7/24/2011 @ 2:59 pmI haven’t posted on here in over a year.
I have a new name.
DohBiden (d54602) — 7/24/2011 @ 3:05 pmBoil the federal govt down to a ‘family’ where (just hypothetical) the husb & wife both work to bring in revenue of $2.2 and they spend $3.7 per year — the deficit is put on a low interest credit card that they AND their kids must pay off in the future — they enter ‘negotiations’ at the kitchen table and the wife, who makes most of the spending decisions — says “I will only accept a reduction in our spending down to $3.6 if YOU get an extra job for Saturday nights to bring in extra income !! “
steve bourg (8fcd8e) — 7/25/2011 @ 4:41 amDohBiden @ #40, can you be coaxed to not post here again for another year?
Summit, N.J. (75c9eb) — 7/25/2011 @ 7:41 am