Patterico's Pontifications


Colonial Golf Tournament Memories

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 11:19 pm

My sister has the post.

I’ll never forget sitting at the 14th Green with my dad and Grandma. Walking up and seeing the murderer Cullen Davis’s mansion on the hill, and seeing Priscilla Davis turn heads as she strolled around the course. Hearing a golfer call out during a Pro Am to to Seve Ballesteros, who responded in Spanish — prompting an amateur to declare, in a Texas accent: “Wouldn’t that be something, to be bilingual in six or seven different languages?” Following around Peter Jacobsen, who declared that he was going to win the tournament for his dad, who had just been diagosed with cancer. (He did.) Following Tiger Woods back in the good old days, when he was a hero and not a laughingstock, and seeing him outdrive anyone I’d ever seen hit a ball on the 11th hole by a good 50 yards. Sitting with Grandma and Dad and just soaking it all in.

Every year. Year after year.

Go to my sister’s site for more memories and a special picture of “the tree.” And then buy something through her Amazon search box. (She has one too.)

I wish I could be there this week. Wow. All those memories.

How Do You Simultaneously Make the Schwarzenegger Scandal More Sleazy and Ahnold More Sympathetic?

Filed under: General — Aaron Worthing @ 9:02 pm

[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.  Or by Twitter @AaronWorthing.]

Easy, it’s the Hulk strategy: make the enemies worse* than the protagonist.

Forget the T-1000. The Sperminator has a new, even more powerful foe to contend with: Gloria Allred.

With Arnold Schwarzenegger coping with a love child scandal, the powerhouse attorney is stepping forward with a blast from his past.

A former child actress who says she had a extramarital fling with Schwarzenegger.

So who is she and what does she want?

“I represent Gigi Goyette, who had an intimate  relationship with Arnold,” Allred tells E! News.

The attorney, however, declined to comment on why Goyette is coming forward now or her intentions for going public.

Because the point of this was to go public, not to actually get anything.  I especially love the classy detail of calling him the “Sperminator.” Hey, I admit I laughed when someone called him the Inseminator, but that doesn’t belong in a news article, even on E!’s website.

And don’t you love how the article has link to this piece?

MORE: Why do cheating scandals all involve Gloria Allred?

I have a theory…


* And yeah, when you think about it, the Hulk is a bad character and Banner is kind of a selfish person.  When he is in a rage he is a danger to everyone around him.  If Banner was a hero, he would take himself out—in a way that destroys the body so no one can exploit what they learned from him.

There, I said it.

[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]

Does This Sound Like a Governor With No Aspirations Towards Higher Office?

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 6:45 pm

Rick Perry:

Gov. Rick Perry today issued the following statement regarding President Barack Obama’s speech on the Middle East:

“President Obama’s speech today continues a misguided policy of alienating our traditional allies, in this case Israel, one of our strongest partners in the war on terror. As someone who has visited Israel numerous times, I know that it is impracticable to revert to the 1967 lines. President Obama is asking our Israeli friends to give up too much security and territory as a prelude to a renewed peace process.”

Does the Governor of Iowa talk that way?

Is Colbert Smart Enough to Know He Just Proved That Citizens United Was Correctly Decided?

Filed under: General — Aaron Worthing @ 11:00 am

[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.  Or by Twitter @AaronWorthing.]

Update: Hot Air has very similar thoughts, here.

From the very first reactions to the Supreme Court’s decision in Citizen United a certain irony permeated the debate.  As I wrote back then:

On January 23, the New York Times denounced the Supreme Court’s ruling in Citizens United v. F.E.C., stating that “the court[] … has paved the way for corporations to use their vast treasuries to overwhelm elections and intimidate elected officials.” In a twist worthy of Monty Python and the Life of Brian, this editorial was unsigned, representing the voice of the New York Times Co., itself a corporation. It amounted to “this corporation says that no corporation has a right to free expression.”

Next I suppose the entire staff will gather together and chant, in unison, “we are all individuals.”

And that irony was repeated months ago when Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert held dueling rallies in Washington D.C. as I noted in a post entitled This Rally is Brought to You By Citizens United:

Anyway, watching it, and seeing that Comedy Central is running it live—indeed, according to my TIVO, there will be no commercial interruptions, and there haven’t been so far—I realized that none of this would have been possible without the Supreme Court’s ruling in Citizen’s United.  This is corporate speech.  Comedy Central is a corporation, a subsidiary (most likely through multiple shells) of Viacom, another company, donating it’s on air time to this political rally.

But according to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, the government should have the power to ban this kind of thing.  Mind you, of course, that is only my reading of Colbert’s satiric remarks; I believe what he is trying to do is say the Supreme Court is wrong to say a corporation deserves any first amendment protection at all, but since his satire is so thick rational minds can disagree.  Stewart’s mockery, meanwhile, is a little more straightforward and it’s easier to discern his point.

Well, he managed to prove my point again on his own show, when talking about whether he could promote his PAC on his show:

Seriously, does he not understand that he has managed to prove that, if anything, Citizens United didn’t go far enough?  Here he is talking about asking for an advisory opinion about whether he should be free to speak without giving up all of Viacom’s corporate secrets.  Here he is talking about having to wait sixty days to find out if he is allowed.  Here he is telling us that he wouldn’t be able to speak if the ruling came out against him.

He is asking the government for permission to speak and if he has any understanding of how appalling that is in a free society, he gives no indication of it.  The man is clever and, in small doses, funny, but he’s not particularly smart.

Hat tip: This WSJ editorial which has much more on the subject.  Really, read the whole thing.

[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]

Ace Reporter Elliot Spitzer on the Case!

Filed under: General — Aaron Worthing @ 7:52 am

[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.  Or by Twitter @AaronWorthing.]

Get out your fedora, Client Number 9, because it is time to be a real reporter!

As as you might have noticed from a throwaway comment I made yesterday, when Cnn did a retrospective on famous political sex scandals in response to the Schwarzenegger scandal, well… there was one name missing:

Suzanne Malveaux‘s story, which aired at 2:30pmET, made mention or showed images of politicians ranging from John F. Kennedy to John Edwards; also former Governors James McGreevey and Mark Sanford, and former Sen. Larry Craig and current Sen. David Vitter, former Pres. Bill Clinton, and 2012 presidential candidate Newt Gingrich — their private indiscretions made very public. But no mention of Eliot Spitzer who resigned as Governor of New York after it was revealed he had patronized a prostitution service. Spitzer now hosts CNN’s 7pm show “In the Arena.” We’ve learned the producer/editor on the story, who use their own judgment on what to use and what not to use, chose not to include Spitzer in the story. has a slideshow of 17 recent political sex scandals. On it, Spitzer is #10.

I mean that is obviously not ideological, but rather simply a case of protecting one of their own from embarrassment.  Meanwhile on Spitzer’s show they avoided the topic.  Which actually I think is semi-defensible.  Besides the fact that Ahnold is a celebrity, what is the relevance of this story?  I don’t believe he is ever going to run for office again, and as far as his acting career, he is far from being the only celebrity with an appalling personal life, and he’s not even close to being the worst.  Still it is interesting that Spitzer is just about the only Cnn host who wasn’t interested in covering it:

And last night, the Governor-turned-cable news host, went one further. He didn’t touch the story of Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s love child. The Wrap’s Dylan Stableford writes,

Instead, Spitzer, who stepped down as New York governor in 2008 after news of his own affair with a prostitute rocked the state, focused on a sex scandal with less parallels to his own — Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the French IMF chief jailed on New York’s infamous Rikers Island.

Ah, well, while there are less parallels to Spitzer’s situation, it turns out that Spitzer might have a personal connection to all of this:


A Very American Story

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 7:38 am

It’s a heartwarming story about a grown man who chooses to act like a baby. Literally.

Why, of course we’re paying disability money to this guy. What kind of heartless nation would we be if we didn’t?

I think my favorite quote is this, around 2:22:

To avoid public shaming, Stanley switches to adult mode when he leaves the house.

Yeah. Which worked pretty well . . . until you appeared on television sucking on a pacifier and wearing a diaper in a crib.

I also love the bit where the psychiatrist implicitly tells us that it’s our problem for thinking this dude is a weirdo.

Via Hot Air, we get Baby Stanley’s reaction to Tom Coburn’s suggestion that he doesn’t merit government disability money:

“Given that Mr. Thornton is able to determine what is appropriate attire and actions in public, drive himself to complete errands, design and custom-make baby furniture to support a 350-pound adult and run an Internet support group, it is possible that he has been improperly collecting disability benefits for a period of time,” Mr. Coburn wrote in a letter Monday to Inspector General Patrick P. O’Carroll Jr…

In an email response to The Washington Times, Mr. Thornton threatened to kill himself if his Social Security payments are taken away, and said the television episode showing him doing woodwork oversold his abilities.

“You wanna test how damn serious I am about leaving this world, screw with my check that pays for this apartment and food. Try it. See how serious I am. I don’t care,” the California man said. “I have no problem killing myself. Take away the last thing keeping me here, and see what happens. Next time you see me on the news, it will be me in a body bag.”…

I think government’s response should be along the lines of what Dennis Miller once said of capital punishment: at some point you have to thin the herd. I’m not suggesting that anyone kill themselves, but I am suggesting that a government with no money can’t be held hostage to someone who, while fat-bodied, is able-bodied and able to earn his own living.

I know, I know. I have a very cold heart.

If this guy didn’t exist, we’d have to make him up. He’s a walking metaphor for the whiny American citizenry crying for their handouts. Slap a “welfare recipient” label on him and a “U.S. Government” label on the nurse, take your screenshot, and your editorial cartoon is already drawn.

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