Sockpuppet Friday—The “Please, For the Love of All That’s Good and Holy in the World, Stop Rapping” Edition
[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here. Or by Twitter @AaronWorthing.]
As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sock puppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself, a lot.
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
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And for this week’s Friday frivolity I ask a question. Why is it that some people think that the best way to persuade you is to create a rap song, written and performed by people who apparently don’t listen to rap music? First up we have Code Pink has making an anti-Blackwater rap:
And if that is not enough psychological damage for anyone who loves hip-hop or just doesn’t like really bad music, we have a government funded rap:
Seriously, we have a President who likes rap, as he indicated, here:
So can’t we all get together on this and cut this from our budget? It makes Rebecca Black look decent.
And given all that awfulness, I think James O’Keefe acting intentionally goofy in a music video (at least, I think it’s intentional) probably qualifies as a palate cleanser:
It takes a few minutes to get to the music part.
[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]
Make it stop… make it stop…
Snoop Dogg (e7d72e) — 4/22/2011 @ 11:33 amJust a couple of thoughts;
1) I once read a book on fashion that advised “Very few men look good in dreadlocks. None of them are white.” I think that could be adapted to “Very few people do good solid Rap. None of them are whiny, overeducated, liberal-arts major honkeys.”
2) While I can, distantly, see the impulse to Rap, I have yet to hear a Rap song that really says anything not covered by Gwendolyn Brooks in 1959 in “We real cool”:
We real cool. We
Left school. We
Lurk late. We
Strike straight. We
Sing sin. We
Thin gin. We
Jazz June. We
Die soon.
just as I can understand the impulse behind Punk Rock, especially in Britain, but have yet to hear anything in that style not covered (rather better) by The Who on the Who’s Next album.
C. S. P. Schofield (8b1968) — 4/22/2011 @ 11:37 amThe person sockpuppeting C. S. P. Schofield isn’t very funny (nor very knowledgable about punk rock).
Sock Puppety Pupp (82fcef) — 4/22/2011 @ 11:55 amEvery breath you take
Kman (c16eca) — 4/22/2011 @ 11:57 amEvery move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you
Every single day
Kman (c16eca) — 4/22/2011 @ 11:57 amEvery word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I’ll be watching you
O can’t you see
Kman (c16eca) — 4/22/2011 @ 11:57 amYou belong to me
How my poor heart aches with every post you make
Every move you make
Kman (c16eca) — 4/22/2011 @ 11:58 amEvery vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every post you make
I’ll automatically insist it is wrong without reading it
Okay, no joking, you guys are like creeping me out.
Aaron Worthing (e7d72e) — 4/22/2011 @ 11:59 am…
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sigh
Kloppenburg (c16eca) — 4/22/2011 @ 12:00 pmUnpossible. First, technically, prove I’m a guy. Second, I was joking. Third, it’s in the constitution.
Kman (c16eca) — 4/22/2011 @ 12:04 pmRemember when the Columbia crashed? LOL. Actually, I was on board at the time. They let me ride along on account of the fact I designed the space shuttle in college. Like… a good college. The Sorbonne. Yep. They had a special Navy SEAL internship.
DCSCA (c16eca) — 4/22/2011 @ 12:09 pmKman is perfectly within his free speech rights . . .
. . . unless he turns into a big meany.
EricPWJohnson (82fcef) — 4/22/2011 @ 12:09 pmAnyway, you people in Texas already have a shuttle. Now stop whining and start gluing the pieces of Columbia back together!
DCSCA (82fcef) — 4/22/2011 @ 12:12 pmAnd given all that awfulness, I think James O’Keefe acting intentionally goofy in a music video (at least, I think it’s intentional) probably qualifies as a palate cleanser:
You misspelled “train wreck” up there in bold. 🙂
carlitos (28bbc0) — 4/22/2011 @ 12:23 pmYou have the right to say whatever I issue you a permit to say!
EricPWGoebbels (82fcef) — 4/22/2011 @ 12:27 pmWait a minute — we came down on the right side of an issue?
Time to re-evaluate our position.
TheAySeeElYou (82fcef) — 4/22/2011 @ 12:29 pmTexas categorically rejects all handouts from the U.S. government and that includes used space shuttles. Succession forever!
Rick Perry (9d1bb3) — 4/22/2011 @ 12:48 pmTrump/Bachman. Yeah! That’s the ticket.
Jon Lovitz (9d1bb3) — 4/22/2011 @ 12:51 pmDude it is unconstituional for Kman to spew his verbal feces because it offends my delicate sensitivites.
DohBiden (15aa57) — 4/22/2011 @ 12:57 pmI actually have 12 children, but who’s counting?
Ken Layne (f3fbb0) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:01 pmWhat are we ‘succeeding’ at forever?
Icy Texan (82fcef) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:03 pmWhoo-hoo!!! Suck-session forever!
Slick Willie (82fcef) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:05 pmDoes anybody know who does John Edwards hair? I’m thinking about making a switch.
Rick Perry (bf33e9) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:05 pmKen Layne has asked me to do a special video for Wonkette … any advice?
Rick Astley (26be8b) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:08 pmYou wingnutz lost the battle over gay hate and killing babies and I hate living with all these ignorant rednecks in Indiana. The Muslims in Dearborn seem much more polite and educated than you douchenozzles. It seems like a place I would like to live. There are no inherent contradictions in the inherent contradictions in my statements. I’m just stupid.
jharp (bf33e9) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:10 pmThe price of gas is being driven up by greedy speculators. No, wait, the price of gas is being driven up by you ignorant rednecks who won’t give up your gas guzzlers and go green. No, wait, the price of gas is being driven up by…I don’t have a clue why the price of gas keeps going up.
President Obama (f3fbb0) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:16 pmBoeing will build a new facility in WA or else! Take care of it Eric.
∅butthead (e7577d) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:34 pmQuit countin’ de monet, you rich bastards!
∅butthead (e7577d) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:36 pmOh sh*t! It’s him again; he found us Put some clothes on and let’s get outta here!
Star Trek hotties (82fcef) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:36 pmDisco Stu just blew his goo!
DCSCA (82fcef) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:38 pmDon’t you wish you could eat at this lunch counter?
Megyn Kelly's baby (82fcef) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:39 pmYou guys are really funny. Mind if use your jokes? It sucks to get old and useless. Guess I never should have made those jokes about the Palin girls.
David Letterman (81cf34) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:47 pmLooking for work. Willing to relocate. Big, strong man. And I look good in dreadlocks.
Manny Ramirez (81cf34) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:50 pm“I won’t vote for Trump. I’m afraid he’ll leave us for a younger, prettier country.”
[And while this is a sock puppet, Chris Rock did actually say that.]
Chris Rock (e7d72e) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:51 pmIt sucks to get old and useless.
— Was that Dave, or his penis talking?
Zinger (82fcef) — 4/22/2011 @ 1:51 pmI know, it’s only rock n’ roll, but I like it!
Mick Jagger (848837) — 4/22/2011 @ 2:00 pmThe Code Pink rap gets uncomfortably familiar at 0:35. Notice how the black dude on Medea’s right starts to nuzzle her neck — makes me feel like this isn’t the first time they’ve done that. Maybe the guy took her “MAKE OUT NOT WAR” press pass seriously.
L.N. Smithee (9eaf5d) — 4/22/2011 @ 2:03 pmAndrew Sullivan can kiss my ass and that’s as close as he’ll ever get to my womb!
Sarah Palin (848837) — 4/22/2011 @ 2:05 pmCan I, Sarah?
Andrew Sullivan (e7d72e) — 4/22/2011 @ 2:10 pmafter it’s all been
ColonelHaiku (1d5128) — 4/22/2011 @ 3:11 pmsaid and done it’s all about
medea benja……………….min
oh blackwater
ColonelHaiku (1d5128) — 4/22/2011 @ 3:13 pmkeep on shootin’
haditha moon won’tcha
keep on shinin’ on me
Oh my god daddy don’t these undernourished peons know who the Eff i’am?
/Megan Mccain Impersonation
DohBiden (15aa57) — 4/22/2011 @ 3:29 pmI’ve got scissors! 61!
DohBiden (c16eca) — 4/22/2011 @ 3:45 pmMcRibObama and BigEvil eat too much absorbic acid.
Do not cross the bunny.
DohBiden (c16eca) — 4/22/2011 @ 3:46 pmHah someone is sockpuppeting me I feel flattered.
DohBiden (15aa57) — 4/22/2011 @ 3:50 pmChris Rock. What a loser. He has to rent his women. I buy mine.
Hoover’s campaign had a slogan: A chicken in every pot. He was a loser, too.
Mine? Trump: A mint on every pillow.
Donald Trump (9d1bb3) — 4/22/2011 @ 3:51 pmCan’t believe I beat the system again. Fools will never learn.
Lindsay (81cf34) — 4/22/2011 @ 4:06 pmThat was truly bad ballet.
Steven S. (e5c232) — 4/22/2011 @ 4:11 pmThe illegitimate love baby of McCain and Palin named Trig travelled back in time to set off WMDs stolen by Rumsfeld under the orders of Shrub while Blackwater agents sold Valerie Plame to Scooter Libby who shipped her off to alien white slavers at the behest of the Koch Brothers for the pleasure of the dupes who flew planes into the Twin Towers to assure the election of Scott Walker so he could break the unions with the help of Fox New, Trilateral Commission and Opus Dei thus unleashing the twin forces of Lady Gaga and Timothy McVeigh to foment unrest in the Middle East while the Jews sat back and chuckled as their plan came together with the help of the Klan, the Illuminati and al Queada along with that bastard Beck.
Did I forget anything?
Andrew Sullivan Layne (6134b7) — 4/22/2011 @ 4:19 pmOh yeah. The Tea Party did something, too.
Andrew Sullivan Layne (6134b7) — 4/22/2011 @ 4:21 pmA.S. Layne: You forgot to say that I was there in the middle of all this. I have been everywhere and done everything.
DCSCA (81cf34) — 4/22/2011 @ 5:13 pmShe lost by over 7,000 f’en votes and she wants a recount? Hell, we can’t conjure up that many votes in Racine. Does she think she is in Chicago? Talk about making us look really, really stupid.
Daley, Chief of Staff (0cd6a2) — 4/22/2011 @ 5:51 pmGet me a secure line to Pelosi.
Obamaman (0cd6a2) — 4/22/2011 @ 6:12 pmNancy! What the hell is going on? Get those damn dope smokers off your staff. Do realize how embarrasing it is to give a speech for high rollers to a partially filled room? And to top it off have a bunch of twits wanting better treatment for a guy who has done more to screw up my foreign policy than Hillary. And in San Francisco no less. Hell, I can’t seem to be able to go anywhere and be appreciated.
We are sorry but our earth day activities have been cancelled. It seems Mother Nature is peeing on our parade today.
Spokesperson for the FLOTUS (0cd6a2) — 4/22/2011 @ 6:16 pmAnyone who wants to order some spring spheres with BuhRock’s autograph on them, they are only $7.50 each or $26.50 for four. Come and get them. They will go like hot cakes.
Michelle Obama (81cf34) — 4/22/2011 @ 7:16 pmSaw this on Redeye last night. Gutfeld’s comment was something like “you have two black guys (that look like bangers) and two middle aged white women and the middle aged kind of blonde is the one doing the rap”. Ok, I embelished a bit but the point is if they wanted to make a statement with rap to get any, presumably young persons attention don’t use the middle aged (well, later middle aged) skanky blonde with no voice to try to get your message across.
scr_north (0eb815) — 4/22/2011 @ 11:41 pmAh, crap music! (The “c” is silent.)
Tully (62151d) — 4/23/2011 @ 6:58 am