Sockpuppet Friday—the Superman Come Back (With Dinosaur!) Edition!
[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.]
With all this death and destruction, volcanoes erupting, 7,500 square mile ruptures in the Earth’s crust and I think a plague of frogs, we need a break. In fact we probably need to make a lot of really inappropriate jokes about today’s events. There is no longer any need to resist the urge to crack jokes about Mr. Miyagi or Godzilla. But do try to do something creative with it…
So as usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sock puppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself, a lot.
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
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And for a little more Friday afternoon fun, we have via Cracked.com some crazy knock off toys, such as the “Superman Come Back” playset (I would guess that was a bad attempt by a foreigner to say “Superman Returns”), who rides a dinosaur:
Sure, it makes absolutely no sense for Superman to ride a dinosaur. But it is so cool it’s hard to care. I mean its Superman, riding a dinosaur. The only way to make it better is if the dinosaur had a rocket launcher.
But for sheer craziness, it’s really hard to top the robot that transforms into… the Titanic.
I mean if the Titanic was a sentient robot from Cybertron, couldn’t he have transformed and avoided that iceberg? Or at least flicked Leo DiCaprio off his body?
[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]
Let’s face it, we were overdue for one of these posts.
Aaron Worthing (e7d72e) — 3/11/2011 @ 1:00 pmUnfair. You can’t be the first commenter on your own sockpuppet post.
aaron worthless (6713b4) — 3/11/2011 @ 1:06 pmDon’t forget me, with he giant worm.
paul mau'dib (a3a9aa) — 3/11/2011 @ 1:07 pmI blame the Koch brothers.
Paul Krugman (6713b4) — 3/11/2011 @ 1:09 pm*** ACTION ALERT ***
Can anyone find a Sarah Palin Facebook post which included a map of Japan, preferably with “crosshairs” on it?
This is TOP PRIORITY
Journolist (1db6c5) — 3/11/2011 @ 1:18 pmThis is all the fault of those people who deny the existence of
Chrissy Mims (e7d72e) — 3/11/2011 @ 1:21 pmglobal warmingclimate change.Reagan was the best Superman to ride a dinosaur.
Anon Y. Mous (cb1134) — 3/11/2011 @ 1:51 pmI don’t care about yellow people, either.
George W Bush (01d172) — 3/11/2011 @ 1:52 pmAnd I say unto you: Woe be upon thee in the land of the Nippon! Thou hast refused my words of global warming and a great calamity is put upon thee. The warmed seas shall part and crash down upon thee. So let it be written. So let it be done.
St. AlGore (848837) — 3/11/2011 @ 1:57 pmHuh-huh… he said nippon.
Butthead (e7d72e) — 3/11/2011 @ 2:02 pmI want all you #%#~@$^&* guys to get off MY internet.
Al Gore (848837) — 3/11/2011 @ 2:05 pmDude, where’s my house?
Ashton Kutcher-san (160e2d) — 3/11/2011 @ 2:20 pmDude, where’s my career?
Asshton Kutcher (e7d72e) — 3/11/2011 @ 2:21 pmI’ve put with this psycho for eight years, then he decides to throw it all away.
jon cryer (a3a9aa) — 3/11/2011 @ 2:28 pmI created that tsunami with my mind!
Charlie Sheen (848837) — 3/11/2011 @ 2:32 pmI have a squirrel. It is cute and I like to pet it. I would like for you to look at it. No, please don’t look at that ferret. Just look at my squirrel. Just look at my pretty squirrel. If you don’t look at my squirrel to the exclusion of all else, I will carefully explain in a condescending manner how your lying eyes are fooling you because, really, you are stupid for not looking at my squirrel. All the time.
david (efea1d) — 3/11/2011 @ 2:52 pmAnd I am totally sane.
Charlie Sheen (6b2e01) — 3/11/2011 @ 3:30 pmGojira!
Nameless Japanese movie extra (6873d0) — 3/11/2011 @ 3:52 pmMeechelle and I have just concluded our Bullying Session. In other words, BS. We have made great strides in bullying. Or preventing bullying. Or something. Where’s JoeyB when I need him? HELP!
Barack Obama aka Barry Soetero (6b2e01) — 3/11/2011 @ 4:01 pmNational Public Radio would have been there, in Japan, bringing our listeners very well described word pictures, delivered in a calm tone of voice, and crafted so well that our listeners could picture the entire situation in their well-educated, highly sophisticated minds, appreciating the gravity of the situation and the unimaginable horror through which the Japanese people are having to live, their great courage bolstered by their modern, 21st Century culture, yet still tempered by their heroic Samurai past.
There will he heroes in Japan, the quiet, unassuming kind about whom you never read in the more sensationalized media, the brave men and women who put selfish thoughts of their own interests aside in order to help their fellow citizens deal with this terrible blow of nature’s fury.
National Public Radio would have brought you all of this, if only they hadn’t fired my ass!
Vivian Schiller (5a4fb2) — 3/11/2011 @ 4:13 pmAre we really expected to believe that this 8.9 magnitude “earthquake” was an “Act of God? Has anyone alive today actually ever seen this almighty deity?
Is it JUST A COINCIDENCE that this occured on the exact anniversary of the Madrid “Bombings”? and exactly six months before the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 “terror attacks”?
I suspect this was a government conspiracy to distract us. We need to find out the truth to prevent a cover up.
8.9Truth.com (a2a019) — 3/11/2011 @ 4:21 pmIf you can make a pledge today, 10% of the amount of your pledge will go directly to NPR’s reporting efforts in Japan, directly from our studios in Washington, DC.
Please, be generous in your support.
Betsy Liley (5a4fb2) — 3/11/2011 @ 4:23 pmTreehugger and Grist are claiming that the earthquake in Japan was caused by Global Warming. They say it has something to so with the ice melting and easing the pressure on the mantle of the Earth or some such, but we all know that the earthquake was caused by the omni-powerful Koch Brothers. The same goes for Global Warming .. the Koch Brothers are increasing the CO2 levels to enhance crop yields to make .. you guessed it .. $$$$$.
Antonin Scalia (03e5c2) — 3/11/2011 @ 4:36 pmObama is just doing the “cap-n-tax” just to stop them. He is so jealous that being “the Won” doesn’t let him heat or cool the Earth.
I disapprove of the actions of the elected officals of Wisconsin. Now if they had mandated double union dues and no termination of union employees, then I would support them.
Obamaman (e80054) — 3/11/2011 @ 4:53 pmI know who funds my campaign.
Hey city of Madison… I’ll make you a deal. I’ll drive a bus and even after overtime, it will be less than $159,000. Just as long as I don’t have to pay union dues. It will be a separate contract.
Poor backwoods wisconsin badger person (e80054) — 3/11/2011 @ 4:57 pmThe earthquake and tsunami were George Bush’s fault.
Barack Hussein Obama, President of the whole United States of America, of which I am a natural-born citizen (5a4fb2) — 3/11/2011 @ 5:02 pmHow in the Hell did this happen. What da mean, dat bastard Walker stopped us from extorting money directly from employee paychecks. We have to what, be approved by members every year?
Pres. Wis. Public Employees union (0cd6a2) — 3/11/2011 @ 5:21 pmI want you to find out where Walker and the son of a bitches republicans live and breed…
I want them dead, dead, dead!
Ha ha! My secret plan to destroy Japan working! First tsunami, then nuke meltdown, next coming my secret race of giant hulking supermen! How you say American imperialist running dogs, uh, WINNING!!!!!1!
Kim "Charlie Sheen" Jong-Il (f1c59f) — 3/11/2011 @ 5:26 pmFrankly I think this Japanese catastrophe is wonderful. Now I can swipe whatever I want to on Rodeo Drive, and everyone’s too distracted to even notice. WINNING!!!
Lindsay Lohan (f1c59f) — 3/11/2011 @ 5:29 pmPlease do not be confused.
NPR Spokesperson (0cd6a2) — 3/11/2011 @ 5:39 pmEven though we paid these people more than Obama gets every year (he and Clinton have a better pension deal, honest).
We did not sit down at lunch and discuss a $5million contribution and did not make fun of ordinary americans.
And the person who promised these fackers that we would bury the source of the contribution and not report it to the IRS as required spoke out of turn.
We would never engage in political activity in favor of one party. We could lose our tax exempt status. After all if we did, and lost the cover of being supported by Congress, we’d a shit’s creek without a paddle.
So what if my big purse cost $1,000. All you taxpayers can afford it. Thanks loads.
Michelle Obama FLOTUS (6b2e01) — 3/11/2011 @ 6:18 pmI can snort enough coke to kill two and a half men!
Charlie Sheen (5b724e) — 3/11/2011 @ 6:37 pmMr. Ashton just had a #1 movie what had a budget of $25M and grossed $70M just in north america and that’s very very good for an R-rated chick flick I think.
happyfeet (ab5779) — 3/11/2011 @ 7:07 pmThe Soggies have finally won: Cap’n Crunch is quietly sailing into retirement.
Long derided by health experts for its high sugar content – a single serving contains 12 grams – the cereal is no longer being actively marketed by Quaker, DailyFinance reports. It appears parent company PepsiCo is forcing the good Cap’n to walk the plank.
All a shore that’s goin a shore, get Cap’n Crunch
Rodan (03e5c2) — 3/11/2011 @ 7:59 pmat your favorite storeno moreCap’n Horatio Magellan Crunch on his own newly-created Twitter account dispelled the rumors Thursday.
Rodan (03e5c2) — 3/11/2011 @ 8:07 pmIn a tweet, Crunch wrote, “I’m hearing the rumors. I would never retire. I love being a captain too much!”
I am still not a crook. But you might want to keep an eye on the one in the White House now.
Richard M. Nixon (6b2e01) — 3/11/2011 @ 8:33 pmSeriously, do you think we would really meet with a dhimmi like that Schiller person, how stupid do you take us for.
ibrahim kasaam (a3a9aa) — 3/11/2011 @ 8:38 pmListen, you dummies. I told you it was the Koch brothers!
Paul Krugman, Nobel Prize Recipient (6713b4) — 3/11/2011 @ 8:42 pmHe was taking in, by a fake trading floor, what a maroon?
enron board of directors (a3a9aa) — 3/11/2011 @ 8:45 pmWhereas I have been nothing but helpful with every post I have ever written, Patterico was WRONG once; therefore, he is never to be trusted ever again.
And he is a hypocrite for pointing out the failure of others to correct themselves — even though a failure is a failure, and the corrections are necessary regardless of who points out the mistake. So sayeth I, the one that is never wrong.
Ever.
Foo Bar (680204) — 3/11/2011 @ 10:58 pmOoops! I farted. Pardon me.
Godzilla (680204) — 3/11/2011 @ 11:09 pmI have Godzilla blood, WINNING!!!
Charles Not-in-charge-of-all-his-faculties (680204) — 3/11/2011 @ 11:11 pmQuaker is beaching Capt. Crunch because of too much sugar? Wow, after standing behind him during the whole child molestation thing, they get rid of him over sugar, I don’t believe it.
michael jackson (2f2a28) — 3/12/2011 @ 12:27 amHe’s not fired but rather promoted.
Meet the new and improved Commodore Crunch.
Sailing the fleet onto a breakfast table near you!
papertiger (a3070a) — 3/12/2011 @ 6:31 pmHelpless people on subway trains scream “My God!” when I look in on them.
Godzilla (a3070a) — 3/12/2011 @ 6:33 pmWill you guys quit blaiming me for everything?
Thanks.
God (a3070a) — 3/12/2011 @ 6:35 pm