Sockpuppet Friday—the Really Cute Edition
[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.]
As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sock puppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself, alot (and spelled a lot in the slang way, alot).
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
———–
And for a little Friday afternoon zen, here is an unbelievably cute video of a father singing a duet with his daughter. Via Althouse.
[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]
You are all in deep trouble for that thread on the n-word. Especially you, Aaron, for mispelling my name!
Jessey Jackson (e7d72e) — 1/7/2011 @ 11:57 amWhat do I care? I am dying. So ‘sup niggaz?!
Roger Qbert (e7d72e) — 1/7/2011 @ 12:02 pmHome is where my daddy is with me!
Just thought you’d like to see us smiling at each other again at 1:03 above.
The irresistably cute Alexa Narvaez (325a59) — 1/7/2011 @ 12:22 pmJust a tad late, Aaron, but no problem — worked out better in the end this way. I wish you all the best in 2011..! Happy New Year.
A Lot, smilin' down from the pearly gates after committing drunken, despairing suicide a coupla weeks ago (325a59) — 1/7/2011 @ 12:29 pmyou know, i’d like Sarah a whole lot more if she’d remove that silly restraining order.
happyfeet (fb8750) — 1/7/2011 @ 12:31 pmI think you’re all wrong and right wing nutbags on every post here, although I have yet to actually read one all the way through.
kfart (498ece) — 1/7/2011 @ 12:47 pmThe Consitution is a living, breathing document, one that’s open to wide interpretation by unelected judges. But conservatives have no right to actually read that damn thing out loud – it gives leftists like me the vapors.
kfart (498ece) — 1/7/2011 @ 12:48 pmAlso, the Constitution is only changeable via judicial fiat – any moron knows that by now.
BTW, what’s an amendment? Sounds suspiciously like democracy.
kfart (498ece) — 1/7/2011 @ 12:49 pmAll tenets of the constitution that are no longer applicable must be read alongside the actual document that are still valid. I know that because Jesse Jackson Jr. told me so.
kfart (498ece) — 1/7/2011 @ 12:51 pmThose conservative fetishists have a creepy worship of the constitution. don’t they know it is a magic document that changes meaning all on its own?
Kayman (e7d72e) — 1/7/2011 @ 12:51 pmI saw Von Braun in my underwear – we discussed rocket propulsion, if you know what I mean.
doggcrapp (498ece) — 1/7/2011 @ 12:52 pmthe Constitutiom may be a living document but a fetus is certainly not a living being …
ProAbortChoice (488234) — 1/7/2011 @ 12:56 pmPeople often ask me how I could have worked for both Enron and NASA at the same time. It’s all so simple, really; I invented a space – time warp drive in my basement in my spare time. Later that day, I decided to sell newspapers on Fleet Street while Margaret Thatcher was making out with Gunga Dan in the local Navy SEAL restrooms. Then we all decided to pile into my warp drive and play some kickball with the US embassy staffers in Moscow while I was writing a column on particle separation for the Dayton Shopper Weekly.
doggcrapp (498ece) — 1/7/2011 @ 12:57 pmI know how to play the skin flute and am quite proficient at regurgitating the talking points that Georgie Soros e – mails me every day. Now, if you start to question me again I’ll threaten to morph into a plankton and use that IP address.
Old Yellerton the small (498ece) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:00 pmDespite the recent court ruling, I want to apologise for my song “Woman is the ‘N-word’ of the World.”
I hope you’ll understand that I was distraught from the trauma of leaving the “Beatles” and going to the “Plastic Ono Band”.
John Lennon, from the beyond (4f3ec1) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:00 pmI have never stalked AW – pay no attention to that restraining order.
kfart (498ece) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:01 pmHey, John – not nearly as distraught as I was – your solo work just about put me into the grave.
Lester Bangs. (498ece) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:02 pm@14
I’ll threaten to morph into a plankton
Wonder-Troll powers, activate!
Form of… a plankton!
Shape of… underwear!
Zan and Jayna (4f3ec1) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:05 pmHappyfeet
You too? She got a restraining order on me years ago.
(unrelated link)
Andrew Sillyvan (e7d72e) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:10 pmman what is this…?
“the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”
Oh, man, that is SOOOOOOOO confusing. I can’t figure it out. especially with saliva all over my monitor screen.
Kayman (e7d72e) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:18 pmActually, I do know what that amendment means, but I’m not telling.
What do YOU think it means?
kfart (498ece) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:29 pmKnock it off,that was my idea, with the flux capacitor, isn’t this 2015?
emmett brown (6075d0) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:30 pmWe don’t just have the right to bear arms, we can get tattoos if we want too!!!!
Constitutional lawyer (3d3f72) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:30 pmWas that intended to be “want to” or want, too”?
Constitutional lawyer (3d3f72) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:36 pmNo, monkey boy, it’s ‘want to’
doc lizardo (6075d0) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:42 pmI wishmore people would exercise their Right to Arm Bears. It would make things so much easier.
Hey Mr. Ranger… give me that pickinick basket before I pop a cap in your ***!
Yogi (4f3ec1) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:48 pmHey Mr. Ranger… give me that pickinick basket before I pop a cap in your ***!
Comment by Yogi — 1/7/2011 @ 1:48 pm
Those who live by the gun will die by the gun. Just a warning, my hungry friend.
[Here’s the video he is linking to. –Aaron]
BooBoo, with tears in my eyes (325a59) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:53 pmButkus is a Dick, so is Cheney
JD (2925ff) — 1/7/2011 @ 1:56 pmFrench-Canadians call me a l’hoosier.
JD (9d1bb3) — 1/7/2011 @ 2:41 pmAm I a protected class?
ALF (24c257) — 1/7/2011 @ 2:42 pmAm I a protected class?
Comment by ALF — 1/7/2011 @ 2:42 pm
Not by a long *cough* shot.
You think Mel Gibson’s crazy? Try Joaquin Phoenix.
The Alien from Signs, typing with a mangled hand and a melted face (325a59) — 1/7/2011 @ 2:48 pmGrunt. Uhmm. Liberals are poo-poo heads. Obama stinks like fish. Chris Hooten is a mendacious Douchenozzle. Huh huh huh. (picks nose)
[This is not the real JD.]
JD (2b9678) — 1/7/2011 @ 3:19 pmI can out smart you with one arm tied behind my back! Errrr… Wait that’s not right…
EricPWJohnson (2b9678) — 1/7/2011 @ 3:24 pmNeither is this.
[Another vid to embed. You’re welcome!]
you'll skip to 0:38 if you know what's good for you (325a59) — 1/7/2011 @ 3:29 pmScene 1 Act 1 a day in the life of a Southern Cali Blogger:
Screen( So if those F’in Big Gov R’s don’t cut the F’ckin budget at least a 100 f’ckin billion we are going to shove a….)
Voice from Hallway: PAT! You’re slamming on those keys!
Voice from Study: Not Really!
Hallway: How many F bombs…
Study: not as many as last time (sotto voice)
Hallway: delete them!
Silence
Hallway: NOW!
Patterico (2a58f7) — 1/7/2011 @ 3:36 pmIf you are going to be me, at least try to be funny.
JD (1df0ee) — 1/7/2011 @ 3:41 pmJD,
I did one – just one – used spell check to throw ya off
EricPWJohnson (2a58f7) — 1/7/2011 @ 3:44 pmYou know what’s tough about not being as smart as a lot of people think you are? Late at night you sit up in bed and ask yourself how did I get this job and, how, in God’s name do I keep it?
I swear I’ll die before I’m 14. I feel like Tom Hanks in “Big.”
Ezra Klein (e03e7a) — 1/7/2011 @ 3:45 pmDon’t the links work? We’re sorry, Aaron!
fun loving sockpuppeteers who had no idea they were causing extra work for the coblogger (325a59) — 1/7/2011 @ 3:49 pmFun loving…
yes, they work fine, but i said f— it and decided to post it anyway.
The Real Aaron Worthing, Really Its Me, Not a Sock Puppet (1a6294) — 1/7/2011 @ 3:52 pmThe Constitution is really old.
You know who else is old? Angelina Jolie. She’s like 36! So gross.
Ezra Klein (081489) — 1/7/2011 @ 4:29 pmI’m going to Disneyland!
Esteban Nunez (3aa1fd) — 1/7/2011 @ 4:36 pm@38
Scratch that. I feel like Tom Hanks in “Mazes and Monsters”.
Ezra Klein redux (4f3ec1) — 1/7/2011 @ 4:37 pmZzzzz…….
New York Sanitation Worker (3aa1fd) — 1/7/2011 @ 4:39 pm*Hic!*
another New York Sanitation Worker (fb8750) — 1/7/2011 @ 5:39 pm**BUUURRRRRPP**
a third New York sanitation worker, on my fifth hour at Dunkin Donuts (325a59) — 1/7/2011 @ 5:51 pmHey man, think they got any apple fritters left?
Ok, here is the big gavel.. Pelase let me stroke it a bit before handing it over.
Nancy P (0cd6a2) — 1/7/2011 @ 6:08 pmIt wasn’t our socalist agenda that lost me my speakership, it was BUSH!!
Nancy P (0cd6a2) — 1/7/2011 @ 6:11 pmI can’t believe we have Chicago here in DC
B Daley (0cd6a2) — 1/7/2011 @ 6:13 pmCome on, give me a break, $174k a year doesn’t get you squart in DC.
Gibbs (0cd6a2) — 1/7/2011 @ 6:15 pmYou’ll miss me when I’m gone.
Bobby Gibbs (537b43) — 1/7/2011 @ 6:50 pmIf I had continued to talk, maybe Boehner would have given up and left. You think I could have a do-over on that?
Pelosi Galore (537b43) — 1/7/2011 @ 6:52 pmOh, we can.
The 48% of voters all across America, who more than two years ago told the other 52% so (325a59) — 1/7/2011 @ 6:53 pmNot a chance.
Massive Boehner, relying on phonics for my own double entendre (325a59) — 1/7/2011 @ 6:55 pmYou got that right. You have no idea how much fun the group dinner at Kinkead’s always was on press conference days.
Jake Tapper (325a59) — 1/7/2011 @ 7:00 pmSo, what’s wrong with flashing gang signs in a picture with the Prez. He seemed to be enjoying himself next to that cute chick with Big Mama at the end of the line.
The kids in Hawaii picture with the O's (537b43) — 1/7/2011 @ 7:25 pmI can’t believe noone told me my jacket was buttoned wrong. Maybe they just want me to look like a doofus.
Barry O (537b43) — 1/7/2011 @ 7:27 pmI know just who we could get to endorse our new “Jumbo Size.”
Massengill marketing VP (36cd01) — 1/7/2011 @ 8:08 pmWhy would the Massengill company be contacting me about endorsing one of their products? I wonder what it could be?
John Edwards (36cd01) — 1/7/2011 @ 8:08 pmoutta the way cracker, them ducats be mine, ya heah!
now, what is a douche?
The First Klingon (fb8750) — 1/7/2011 @ 8:36 pmRosie O’Donnell taught me how to sleep hanging upside down. It helps prevent my botox injections from pooling around my chin.
Pelosi Galore (e7bc4f) — 1/7/2011 @ 8:37 pmMr. President, after the reaming out you gave that staffer who put the unattached seal on the podium, believe me, no one wants to tell you anything.
the Secret Service agent who knows all about your narcissistic rages but can't say anything (oops) (a8b794) — 1/7/2011 @ 8:49 pmI can believe it.
passive-aggressive behavior expert (a8b794) — 1/7/2011 @ 8:54 pmNo, we swear, Mr. President. No one noticed it because they were so stunned by your handsomeness and charm.
Who can pay attention to a jacket when your awesomeness is so dazzling?
Staffers surreptitiously high-fiving each other, knowing that narcissist will totally buy it - again (a8b794) — 1/7/2011 @ 8:58 pmHanging upside down? Good for you. Who says you can’t teach an old bat new tricks?
Nastygrams, Inc. (a8b794) — 1/7/2011 @ 9:09 pmI’m not rich, but I am irritating. Wait, I am rich and irritating.
Suck it rubes. It’s who you know, you stupid Constitution-loving God-botherers. Hahaha.
Robert Gibbs (e03e7a) — 1/7/2011 @ 9:15 pmPerhaps if you had a little less money and a lot more sense, my dear Robert, maybe you’d start bothering me yourself a little. Soon.
God, aka the only Person "who you know" Who matters in the long run (a8b794) — 1/7/2011 @ 9:23 pmThat alternative Yogi Bear ending was so, so wrong.
Constitutional lawyer (3d3f72) — 1/7/2011 @ 9:29 pmBut all is forgiven by my command.
By MY WORD it’s still 2008. Right? I mean, RIGHT!
O (e03e7a) — 1/7/2011 @ 9:51 pm$700 a day in taxpayer dollars just for spewing b.s. to the lamestream media!
Tell me again why I’m leaving this cake gig?
Bobby F Gibbons (87db83) — 1/7/2011 @ 10:56 pmThreat-level ORANGE!
Oh wait, that’s just my tan. Sorry.
The New Speaker (87db83) — 1/7/2011 @ 10:57 pmListen up. I’m married to a black woman, so if anybody is REALLY gonna get it wrong on this Huck Finn thing, it’s … gonna … be — me?
Roger the truth dodger Ego-bert (87db83) — 1/7/2011 @ 11:00 pmDoes the ‘alternative’ Yogi kiss his boo-boo?
Sully the bear (87db83) — 1/7/2011 @ 11:02 pmHugo likes me. He really likes me!!!
Sean P-Diddly (87db83) — 1/7/2011 @ 11:08 pmHow . . . . . DAAARRE!!!!! you GOPers read the law of the land on the floor of the House of Representatives? Racists!!!
The New Jerk Crimes (87db83) — 1/7/2011 @ 11:11 pmBecause cake isn’t good for you. Here – have some Grape Nuts. Yum!
Your big brother Euell (a8b794) — 1/7/2011 @ 11:11 pmOut-clevering me with a 30-year-old reference that, sadly, I get will NOT be tolerated!
Egads! We're all getting too damn old (87db83) — 1/7/2011 @ 11:46 pmMy new job pays me $249,999 a year. HA!!! Take that, suckers!
The gibbering gibbon (87db83) — 1/7/2011 @ 11:50 pmI want everybody to know that I am not related to that simpering moron Robert Gibbs. I coach football and race cars.
Joe Gibbs (e7bc4f) — 1/8/2011 @ 12:00 amOh yeah, baby! Bring on the visiting team that has a better record than us. We’re the hottest thing in the galaxy. Seahawks Rule!!!
7of9 (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 2:13 amNo means NO, Aaron! Don’t make me have you banned from any convention where I appear!
jeri ryan (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 2:16 amOh, butterscotch!
Aaron Werthers-ing (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 2:18 amYeah, I know. Misspelling my own name in one of the threads this week really IS the funniest thing I’ve ever written.
EricPWohnson (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 2:24 amdaleyrocks was mean to me! 🙁
Ben (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 2:25 amThe truth pushes my hot-buttons.
Ed Schlitz (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 2:28 amTee hee! Me so naughty. Me claim to be a Mark Twain ‘scholar’.
ess eee kay (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 2:38 amI often chat with my 80 year old mother. It usually goes something like this:
DCSCA (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 2:42 am“Dammit! Stop waxing your carrot and go look for a job!”
$179K for that sad sack suck up? He was overpaid.
The Iraq Information Minister (1a6294) — 1/8/2011 @ 2:56 amYou’re just jealous Jerri Ryan because Aaron is a real stud.
Terry Farrell (1a6294) — 1/8/2011 @ 2:58 amWait, I thought I was Aaron’s one and only…
Roxann Dawson (1a6294) — 1/8/2011 @ 3:02 amYou hussies get away from my man, Aaron.
Grace Park (1a6294) — 1/8/2011 @ 3:04 amLadies, ladies, there is enough of Aaron to go around.
Tricia Helfer (1a6294) — 1/8/2011 @ 3:07 amMaking false analogies is why Lisa Simpson refuses to kiss me.
Milhouse (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 3:11 amMethinks the geek doth protest too much.
Shake a spear (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 3:13 amPosthumous editing of Mark Twain is fun!
kishnevi (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 3:17 amThis space available for advertising — or a lobotomy.
Biden's forehead (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 3:33 amBoy, is there egg on my face!
See, I was chasing this amb-u-lance the other day . . . turned out that my ex-wife was inside.
Rielle's baby-daddy (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 3:42 amMichele Bachmann makes my — uh, ‘leg’ tingle.
Chrissie Matthews (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 3:50 amSeason of the Witch is one of the worst-reviewed movies of all time?
Huh . . .
Hope it makes money.
Nicolas 'all of the acting talent but NO ability to choose good scripts' Cage (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 4:18 amThe system worked!
Some anonymous postal worker got burned instead of ME.
Janet 'the man-caused disaster' Napolitano (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 4:29 amI thought we all agreed to ignore Kman. I mean, wasn’t the vote unanimous, or something?
MD in Philly (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 5:31 amBut . . . but, his rampant mendouciosity completes me!
JD (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 5:32 amOkay, Christine. Now you wash Sarah’s back. Mmmmm . . .
happy dreams (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 5:34 amHeh heh . . . heh heh. I kept asking Boehner “where are the jobs?” every day, even though he wasn’t in power yet. Gee, I’m ever so snarky. *giggle*
Olbermannequin (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 5:37 am15.9% unemployment among blacks?
The black labor force (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 5:44 amSure, we’re gonna vote for him again in 2012.
We’ll be sittin’ ’round with not much to do, so we might as well.
What? We’re screwed, too?
The Latino labor force (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 5:50 amOh well. Viva Obama!
Bob Dole don’t feel so good.
[with sincere respect: get well soon, Senator Dole]
Bob Dole (8455ee) — 1/8/2011 @ 5:52 am“Comment by The black labor force”
Not many votes in a group that size!
A Racist (132cf8) — 1/8/2011 @ 6:18 amI have rough edges…
JDTourette (e83e82) — 1/8/2011 @ 6:35 amStay tuned….please….anyone
Palination (e83e82) — 1/8/2011 @ 6:36 amBen – This ain’t bean bag, kiddo.
Joe Gibbs (e7bc4f) — 1/8/2011 @ 8:05 amI heart Scozzafava. She is a true conservative.
EPWJ (b98cae) — 1/8/2011 @ 8:15 amI are intelligent, just ask me!
cristoph (e7577d) — 1/8/2011 @ 9:30 amJD said:
That wouldn’t be trying to be you, though, JD.
oops Chris Hooten (2b9678) — 1/8/2011 @ 1:20 pmThanks for providing such information. njvgojkgf
Erica Marthaler (18acee) — 2/25/2011 @ 9:16 pmIt’s the best time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or advice. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I want to read more things about it!
Neha Anand (e1c2ef) — 3/25/2011 @ 5:36 pm