Patterico's Pontifications


A Fool and His Car Are Soon Parted

Filed under: General — Aaron Worthing @ 1:29 pm

[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.]

This story made me smile more than a little:

WASHINGTON – D.C. Councilman Marion Barry had his car stolen over the weekend, according to D.C. police.

The former mayor parked his 2002 Jaguar outside the Patricia R. Harris Education Center in Southeast D.C. Sunday morning with the keys still in the ignition.

When he left the building, the car was gone.

D.C. Police have no suspects.

Police spokesman Paul Metcalf says the car was recovered Tuesday afternoon.

(Emphasis added.)  That is, I smiled, until I actually thought about it for a moment: Wait a minute, he was in Southeast D.C. and he parked his jag… with the keys in the ignition?

Okay, something is up with that story.  Something is going on that we don’t know about.  Because no one is fool enough to leave their keys in the ignition in that part of town.

Mind you, I have no special insight on the guy.  I don’t know any more about him than you do.  So this is just an opinion, but this is fishy as hell.  This does not add up.

[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]

30 Responses to “A Fool and His Car Are Soon Parted”

  1. you’d have to be a crack smoking idiot to so something like that…..

    redc1c4 (fb8750)

  2. red’s reposte is great. Marion is a drug addled moron, after all.

    But this does smell like a payoff/insurance scam.

    It’s either that, or the guy is trying to cover up what actually happened to the car (it was in an accident he wants to hide his involvement in and he had to hide the car, etc).

    Dustin (b54cdc)

  3. dustin

    well, about a year ago, we had a story when a car crashed into a jazz festival in the city. the woman ran down like 40 people and eyewitnesses said she was laughing and people claimed to see a crack pipe in the car.

    and then me and the wife literally did a spit take when they said this about the driver: “she worked in the office of counselman marion barry.”

    i shit you not.

    Aaron Worthing (e7d72e)

  4. wow

    Dustin (b54cdc)

  5. Barry might just have been running into the building to get something IYKWIMAITTYD.

    daleyrocks (c07dfa)

  6. Have you seen the reliability reports on 2002 Jaguars? The thieves could simply drive it down the road and scoop up the parts as they fall off. No chop shop needed!

    Icy Texan (0b469d)

  7. Homeboys love bling.

    Smarty (b78ca5)

  8. Nobody likes a grammar cop (even when that cop is correct).

    Icy Texan (0b469d)

  9. Bitch meter maid set him up.

    Blue Ox (ff919a)

  10. He’s The Man. Nobody would dare. Homies didn’t get the word.

    Richard Aubrery (59fa91)

  11. Is it possible, Richard, that Marion really does gallivant around town as though common sense rules don’t apply to him?

    Kinda like a congressman who doesn’t realize she has to show ID?

    I think he’s had too much trouble with the law, and criminals, to be naive. He’s either hiding the truth (my guess) or his faculties are too degraded from crack cocaine.

    Dustin (b54cdc)

  12. Quick, somebody call the trial lawyers and sue Toyota, they’ve got to be behind all of this somehow. As for Mr. Barry, this is the same district that defeated their reformist mayor in his last election, yet re – elected the crack piper. ’nuff said.

    Dmac (498ece)

  13. Traded it for crack.

    SPQR (26be8b)

  14. Lots of states have laws against leaving your keys in an unlocked vehicle. In Tennessee, doing so can make you liable for the actions of a car thief.

    Blue Ox (ff919a)

  15. Yo, payback is a beyotch!

    He always knew that one day he would have to pay the crack-piper.

    You know your habit is bad when they repo a 9-year-old car.

    It’s okay. This will lead into his new career: as a bomb-sniffing dawg on the Metro.

    Icy Texan (0b469d)

  16. Got pissed and left it there after he burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

    Icy Texan (0b469d)

  17. Ah, mystery solved.

    Karl Rove stole it.

    Dustin (b54cdc)

  18. The Icy Texan wrote:

    You know your habit is bad when they repo a 9-year-old car.

    It is fortunate that I had set down my can of Mountain Dew before I read that. 🙂

    Of course, he prob’ly didn’t think it would take so long to score a babe or some blow.

    The Dana who loves this story (bd7e62)

  19. Icy Texan is on a roll. Love it. Of course, with Marion Barry all of these reasons could be true. It sounds like an insurance scam, but was the car even insured.

    I was utterly dumbfounded that the people reelected this crack smoking fool.

    PatAZ (b334e9)

  20. The question is:
    What item/items were in the trunk that the Councilman was not aware were there when he parked the car, and were no longer in the trunk when the car was recovered by the police?

    This couldn’t smell worse than if it was dead-center in a Farmer John processing plant.

    AD-RtR/OS! (b8ab92)

  21. The rest of the report is a couple of lap tops and $27,000 in concert tickets were also missing.

    That works in detroit.

    Jim (844377)

  22. Aaron, we are talking about the former mayor of the District of Columbia. You know, the guy caught in an FBI cocane sting. The creator of the quote “The bitch set me up, the bitch set me up!” Also known for directing city money to his girlfriend. The fact his car was stolen just goes to show that God does have a sense of humor.

    Cheshirecat (0cd6a2)

  23. Insurance scam… leave your lemon on a crime ridden street with the keys in it is a classic scheme.

    SteveG (cc5dc9)

  24. — He reported it stolen so that, when they find the body in the trunk, he can claim that he wasn’t the one that put it there.

    — He didn’t want them matching the outline of the radio antenna to the bruise on his ho’s a$$.

    Icy Texan (0b469d)

  25. Saw all of the oil dripping on the ground and panicked, thinking his “cargo” was compromised.

    Icy Texan (0b469d)

  26. Vision-impaired ghetto thief thought he had scored a Chrysler New Yorker.

    Icy Texan (0b469d)

  27. “The bitch set me up!”

    Marion Barry (816b66)

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