Sockpuppet Friday—the Phallometric Edition!
[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.]
As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sock puppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself, alot.
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
—————–
Oh, and this is unrelated, but I figured this would be a nice place to share something fun for a Friday afternoon, but via IGN witness… The Space Battleship Yamato rises. And naturally that is in follow up to this nerdy post.
[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]
If you don’t get a stiffy, your case will be iffy.
Czech Immigration Officer (ed1f49) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:29 pmWonder if the Czechs would consider a human pecker checker to discern the gayness of an asylum seeker?
bawney fwank (688a60) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:36 pmI see nothing of interest in these photos.
SPQR (26be8b) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:37 pmI want to congratulate Lou, um… Xi-bo? well, that Chinese guy… he should be really honored to earn an award that just a year ago was deemed worthy of me. Its too bad he couldn’t make it to the ceremony. I mean, seriously, where is this guy? Does he think he has something better to do tonight?
Barky Obama (e7d72e) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:38 pmHey, what about us carpet cleaners? DISCRIMINATION!
rosie o'donnell (688a60) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:40 pmMr. Czech immigration officer…
Do I get to pick which pictures I get to see? You see there is this one blogger I have been stalking for like 7 years….
Kman (e7d72e) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:40 pmWhere’s Aaron?
What’s Aaron talking about?
Where’s Aaron?
What’s Aaron talking about?
Where’s Aaron?
What’s Aaron talking about?
Where’s Aaron?
What’s Aaron talking about?
I’m disturbed that you are all so obsessed with me.
Dustin (b54cdc) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:42 pmI never remember to revert to back to me real handle, so you can just figure out who I’m mocking.
Dustin (b54cdc) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:43 pmIs there a moisture measurement meter for us gals? I’m like Lake O’Donnell when I’m aroused.
lesbian asylum seeker (688a60) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:48 pmGlenn Greenwald recently raised this very question in a seminal article presented at a seminar: What about gay refugees who suffer from ED?
Whether they spend winters in Brazil is entirely beside the point, no matter what anyone says.
Rick Ellensburg (890cbf) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:49 pmOK you guys, sockpuppeting on all threads is A-OK now!
the meta-Aaron Worthing, who STILL doesn't know that "ALOT" isn't a word. At all (325a59) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:51 pmI’m still not a word. FIX ME!!!!!
ALOT, who is still getting mistaken for "A LOT" an awful lot (325a59) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:53 pmOh go ahead; keep misspelling “a lot.” Look like an uneducated rube; see if I care.
[had to change nick for the spam filters. –Aaron]
"F--k it All Friday" (tm) c/o AOSHQ (325a59) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:55 pmRick, do link me? Ta.
Andrew Sullivan (890cbf) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:56 pmCan you hear me now, Aaron?
lonely and abandoned dictionaries all across America (325a59) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:56 pmI never miss the space bar!
typo nazi (688a60) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:56 pmAaron,
Would it kill you?
A Lot, who frankly is getting pretty pissed now (325a59) — 12/10/2010 @ 12:59 pmDon’t worry: I know a good test for lesbian asylum seekers for the Czech Repubic.
Martina Navratilova (3e4784) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:00 pmEven though I really look the part, they wouldn’t let me seek asylum in the the Czech Republic.
Of course, the picture they showed me was of Barney Frank.
Julian Assange (3e4784) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:03 pmReally? Was he naked? 🙂
Andrew Sullivan (3e4784) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:05 pmI wanted to visit, but the thing kept falling off due to my wide stance.
Larry Craig (3e4784) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:06 pmRe: #13
David Ehrenstein (fb9f05) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:06 pmHeh . . . heh heh . . . heh heh heh. He said “seminal”.
Homophobes!
Amanda Marcotte (3e4784) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:08 pmI use the pickle tickle method.
eric massa (299283) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:09 pmThe thougjt of Sarah Palin makes my mangina ache.
happyfoot and mouth disease (299283) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:12 pm#13:
David, he’s no cunning linguist, but perhaps he is a former seminarian or otherwise studied some of the ancient tongues.
Say: Wouldn’t this Czech method give a false positive for straights who happen to be aroused by electrical equipment swaddling their tallywhackers? Just a thought.
Andrew Sullivan (890cbf) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:13 pmCan I request pictures of underage kittens? You teabagging racist deniers are hate filled christianists. I lurv hairy ballsacks in my mouth. Today is warmer than yesterday which proves AGW is real deniers!!!!!!! Excuse me while I serenade my kitten and make vegetarian paella and plot against brown people that can spell.
William Yelverton (6e25b4) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:17 pmPardon me, I need to go sockpuppet my Dad and Faux Girlfriend so I can portray myself as having something other than a miserable pathetic existence. Plus, my underage non-consensual goat is lonely.
William Yelverton (0d2ffc) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:20 pmYou teabagger wingnuts are obsessed with me, jealous of my existence where I leech off of the taxpayer dollars of the State of Tennessee. Since you are all racist hillbilly kmart shoopers, you yearn to be me.
William Yelverton (0d2ffc) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:24 pmStay away from me, Yelverton!
Underage Non-consensual Goat (e7d72e) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:25 pm[The House Democratic Caucus in closed session]
Nancy P (10ef52) — 12/10/2010 @ 1:47 pmOk everyone, we are going to sit on our hands and let taxes go up, so drink your full glass of kool-aid now.
We are holding the American people hostage by demanding tax increases so we can take more of your money and redistribute it away. Take that, wingnuts.
Demonrats (0d2ffc) — 12/10/2010 @ 2:01 pmSarah Palin is soooo stupid. I on the other hand are very smart.
Dick Wolffe (e7d72e) — 12/10/2010 @ 2:18 pmI hate JD. When I see him, I will have him for dessert.
michael moore (cd49db) — 12/10/2010 @ 2:21 pmThese damn personal trainers have got be running laps, doing pushups and denying me my God-given right to doughnuts. Fat camp? More like a concentration camp!
Micheal MoreandMore (e7d72e) — 12/10/2010 @ 2:30 pmMichael Moore – my guess is that your gelatinous jiggly furry carcass could not catch me unless I had a side of beef and a porkbelly stapled to my back, in which case, you could likely leave Usain Bolt in your wake.
JD (0d2ffc) — 12/10/2010 @ 2:32 pmNope, still nothing of interest in these photos.
SPQR (26be8b) — 12/10/2010 @ 2:36 pm@JD. O yummy yummy! FOOD!! Come come to pappy!
michael moore (cd49db) — 12/10/2010 @ 2:46 pmDid y’all see the way my Barry looked at me when he was ditching that presser for Pres Clinton? Sigghh…he’s so dreamy when he’s getting ready for a party…
Obama's watch (325a59) — 12/10/2010 @ 2:54 pmYou BETTER put me first, you present-voting weakling! And WHAT do you Think. You’re. Doing! Making me wait half an hour. Next time you’re cancelling the presser entirely, you ninny! Who cares if newspeople want to hound you and ask you more than eight questions. You have to stand UP to them, Barack!
Michelle, on a watch of my own (325a59) — 12/10/2010 @ 2:58 pmRead my new book “Phallometrics and me, or how I evolved from the Swedish Penis Pump.” This sort of thing is my bag, baby.
Austin Powers (261dcd) — 12/10/2010 @ 2:58 pmThe Ellensburg / Brazil jokes pretty much write themselves on this one.
carlitos (261dcd) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:00 pmIn honor of Michael Moore, I am going on a self-imposed diet. For breakfast, I will limit myself to 5 bearclaws, 2 dozen eggs, and 1 can of RediWhip. For lunch, I will sacrifice and only eat 5 cornish game hens broiled in caul fat, sous vit porkbellies, and a bag of Oreos. Dinner will be limited to 3 cartons of potato salad, a Diet Coke, 8 bratwurst, and a small elk.
Oliver Willis (109425) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:05 pm@Oliver Willis. OMG I AM LIKE BARFING IN MY OWN LAP WITH THE LULZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU OWE ME A NEW KEYBOARD!!!!! I HOPE YOU ARE JD SO THAT I CAN GET IN GOOD WITH SOMEONE ON THIS SITE BY CLAIMING I AM LAUGHING SO VERY VERY HARD AT THEIR JOKES!!!!!
The Emperor (325a59) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:08 pmwe wont stop till you step down and return to kenya, hussein!
Hostage Taker (a747ac) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:12 pmPhallometric?
Well, i AM really big…
Ron Jeremy, President, United Anarchist Society (9eeb86) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:13 pmWould the Czechs strap me to a rubber donger to see which team I play for? Please? Pretty please?!
Anne Heche (0d2ffc) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:23 pmNobody F**ks with the President ‘cept me- You got that, bitch?
Michelle Obama (848837) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:31 pmThe doctor said my Wiki leaks. Will penicillin cure that?
Julian Assange (848837) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:35 pmWhile my fellow Democrats hold the American taxpayer hostage, by bltch a$$ is going to a Xianist party.
Barack the Magnificent (6e25b4) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:40 pmJules, baby. I told you that Valtrex would help with those symptoms. Plus, never trust the lambskin. Or Scandis.
Andy Manglutez (6e25b4) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:42 pmYesterday, they were out of Lithium and I managed to escape. 2 elephant tranquilizers and a couple IV anti-psychotics and I am back to normal.
The Empress (109425) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:44 pmHey, why isn’t this guy looking at me? Something’s gone terribly wrong.
Bracky's teleprompter (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:53 pmOh jiminy, this guy doesn’t even need me! He’s actually talking to people off the cuff without any help? I’m doomed!
Bracky's teleprompter (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:54 pmI’m the only real conservative here, and I know that AGW is real. Just look at my research! Tree rings! Ice capades! Hockey stick moms! 1 + 1 = Eleventy!
Eddy's Woody (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 3:57 pmHe did not mean what he said, he was just lying because it is the politically correct thing to do.
The Emperor (0d2ffc) — 12/10/2010 @ 4:02 pmFox news is clearly biased toward the republicans. They keep telling people the truth, and we all know that republican idea poll better when people are told the truth.
The bastards.
Media Mutters (b8e056) — 12/10/2010 @ 4:05 pmThis Richard Wolffe guy is pretty stupid.
C.S. Lewis (b8e056) — 12/10/2010 @ 4:15 pmHi Guys!
Rick Astley (fb8750) — 12/10/2010 @ 4:26 pmIf this Clinton dude is around much longer, I am going to be thrown under the bus. Come back, Barack.
TOTUS (b334e9) — 12/10/2010 @ 4:37 pmDon’t you use me as an excuse to get out of a tight spot. He’s running circles around you out there.
Michelle Obama (b334e9) — 12/10/2010 @ 4:40 pmGet the hell out of there now, Mr. President. That Clinton cad is making you look smaller and smaller by the second.
Unidentified Obama Aide (eb5afc) — 12/10/2010 @ 4:41 pmI appreciate all the concern you liberals are showing for me, but it’s not really necessary. “Circle of Life”, you know? Go watch the Lion King again if that’ll help (and Sorkin, try to lay off the coke this time, you’re giggling worse than the hyenas).
the Caribou that Sarah Palin shot (1db6c5) — 12/10/2010 @ 4:48 pmWould you pulleeez just shut up and lie there — we’re trying to make political hay of you. So to speak. And then make steaks and Caribou Crisco too. Since that idiot Barbie doll did the shooting we can start reaping all the benefits with a clear conscience. Yum!
Progressives, including the starving Michael Moore (72db9b) — 12/10/2010 @ 4:59 pmWhen I went to clean Mr Moore’s room this morning, I found the remains left over from what appears to be a ham hock, a lamb shank, and a gallon of heavy cream. Mr Moore was passed out with a huge milk moustache. Every morning is an adventure.
Michael Moore's room attendant (eb5afc) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:04 pmBarack! I need you to leave that press conference and come rub my corns.
Grannie Robinson (081489) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:05 pmAnd that was just the appetizer prior to his midnight snack, which was delivered by forklift right to his window.
Michael Moore's room attendant (eb5afc) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:06 pmOh, give me a break. Who here hasn’t eaten an entire case of Moon Pies at 2 in the morning.?
Michael Moore (eb5afc) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:09 pmDaddeee!! Bo did his business again and we need you to come and clean it up!
Sasha, blocking the President's view of TOTUS at the State of the Union speech (72db9b) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:12 pmBarack Obama’s entire presidency is just beyond me.
Parody (72db9b) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:15 pmMommy said she’s waiting for you to get upstairs and plug the hole, daddy.
Malia (081489) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:23 pmEwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
JD (eb5afc) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:23 pmI’d bet $20 that comment 71 came from someone who argues against conservatives.
Anyhow, kids are off limits.
Dustin (b54cdc) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:29 pmHmmm. I believe the comments were directed at me, not the children themselves.
The myriad self-serving excuses and cute anecdotes of President Barack H. Obama (72db9b) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:32 pmOnce again, the racist teabaggerz show their true colors by opposing the Obama tax cuts. Race is the only reason you teabaggerz would oppose this deficit reducing stimulus. Just like how you worship Faux News, who distributes your talking points, that you teabagger sheeple follow like the good little hypocritical anti-science Christers you are.
William Yelverton (eb5afc) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:34 pmBut given that I am a midget, I would prefer to stay away from that Czech junk checker. No need to be embarrassed in pubic.
William Yelverton (eb5afc) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:39 pmI use midgets as toothpicks.
Michael Moore (eb5afc) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:40 pmKids are off limits. Which reminds me, you can still get free shipping and have my new book, “Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters” delivered in time for Christmas.
Barack Obama, author and father (081489) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:41 pmDidn’t you hear Sasha? Go scoop the poop NOW!
And when you’re done with that, my bat’leth needs polishing.
Michelle typing on TOTUS, after pushing the regular operator aside (1db6c5) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:43 pmIs Michelle Obama a 21st Century Wallis Simpson?
King Edward (58d2a4) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:46 pmWho’s delivering the Tastykakes?
More Michael (58d2a4) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:47 pmForget the caribou. Someone shoot us now, please!
The Tastykakes, quaking in fear (72db9b) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:49 pmYeah, sure, laugh all you want… I used to eb a TOTUS! But I have bills to pay, and this is the only gig I could get after that incident with the Irish PM.
Phallometrometer (1db6c5) — 12/10/2010 @ 5:50 pmKids, go eat your vegetables! Now! (wipes grease from Wendy’s Triple Decker Cheeseburger off face)
Eddy's Woody (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:06 pmWhoops, last one was me.
Head Klingon (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:06 pmI was never more ashamed of my country until, oh, about three hours ago. That was the most ballsy run – away from the press and your country I’ve ever seen, honey. Well, ever since Jimmah and his Malaise speech.
Head Klingon (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:09 pmWhich reminds me: is Bill going to substitute for your other marital duties at large? Just spitballin’ here.
Head Klingon (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:10 pmI’m impressed that so many of you seem to be obsessed with me. Don’t you have better things to do with your lives? Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go work up 100 more Troll screeches to post here ASAP.
kfart (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:12 pmDid I mention that I’m a lawyer? No, I won’t tell you what I specialize in, or where I practice! I’m the only one who gets to stalk commenters here!
kfart (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:12 pmI dreamed last night of Palin shooting a little birdy outside my window, and I promptly shat my pants. Oh, wait – that wasn’t a dream, after all.
kfart (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:13 pmSarah is such a creepy person, me on the other hand. , ,
david epstein (6075d0) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:14 pmI never told anyone this before, but once when I was a wee lad, I had my first sexual experience with a Hoover. I still get chills every time I hear that sucking sound.
kfart (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:15 pm@92
I swear, it was just the one time! It was late October of 1929, and it was either that or jump off of a skyscraper… I still regret my decision to this day…
Herbert Hoover (1db6c5) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:20 pmNice try, Aaron…
The Emperor (d61748) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:22 pmI know you all hate me cos am black!
michael moore (d61748) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:35 pm“Because the lawyer said it was legal.”
Hard to argue with that, especially when your mouth and throat are full of downward flowing water.
W, a.k.a. "The Decider" (ae99e7) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:42 pmAnyhow, kids are off limits.
Now you tell me.
David Epstein (081489) — 12/10/2010 @ 6:59 pmIf gays can legally have sex, what’s wrong with a consensual sexual relationship between a father and his adult daughter? Answer me that you Christianist anti-science rubes.
Prof. David Epstein, Phd. (c07dfa) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:02 pmBesides, how who want to f**k her mother?
Prof. David Epstein, Phd. (c07dfa) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:03 pmEveryone loves me so much and I am a Democrat, after all. So this whole thing will be over by tomorrow.
David Epstein (b334e9) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:09 pmI don’t think the idea of a man having sexual knowledge of his daughter is funny..
The Emperor (d61748) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:21 pmTwo important things to consider
1) Obama’s economic policies have brought us back from the brink the disaster BuchchimpyMchitler brought us to.
2) And if people are legal consenting adults everyone is fair game
Prof.David Epstein (5fb441) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:24 pmThe Emperor, and its not. Until you add the involvement of Huffington Post. Whose founder caused her husband to discover his latent homosexuality.
And then its completely hilarious.
SPQR (26be8b) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:28 pm“I don’t think the idea of a man having sexual knowledge of his daughter is funny..”
If both parties are adults and the relationship is consensual, what is wrong with it? Please tell me. I mean, chicks dig me because I’m smart and get quoted in the media a lot.
Prof. David Epstein, Phd. (c07dfa) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:32 pmI think parody should have its limits. I just don’t find it funny.
The Emperor (d61748) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:37 pm“I think parody should have its limits. I just don’t find it funny.”
I think you wingnut prudes are just jealous because I was getting some young trim and you weren’t.
Prof. David Epstein, Phd. (c07dfa) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:41 pmI know this girl and she’s like really pretty, but I think she’s dumb because she won’t pay attention to me, but she does these things that those stupid jock guys do.
So, I really want her to like me, but I don’t know how. She keeps doing stupid things that pretty girls shouldn’t do, like killing animals and all.
Plus she has this stupid, fat kid who is all popular and stuff despite she’s a whore with a kid but she gets to be on TV and I hate her.
And all these other kids like her and I don’t know why, except she’s really pretty and all.
But, I’m really smart. I know things, so I don’t understand why she keeps doing this stupid stuff when she would be so much happier with me.
Why doesn’t she love ME?
Keith Olbermann and the whole left (e828a4) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:44 pmKeith – How old is the woman’s stupid, fat kid? Can I hit it?
Prof. David Epstein, Phd. (c07dfa) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:49 pmMy place, has everything but those sharks with laser beams
julian assange (6075d0) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:54 pmwhy are the morons posting here tonight instead of on my blog?
Patterico, you owe me a bottle of Val-U-Rite and a six pack of pudding in lost advertising!
Ace (fb8750) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:55 pmComedy is not pretty.
SPQR (26be8b) — 12/10/2010 @ 7:57 pmI think parody should have its limits. I just don’t find it funny.
And this is not the thread to voice your objection to it, you God – Bothering, Lithium – Inhaling, Sexually – Confused Tranny Buttwipe. Who cares if you find anything funny or not? Take your high horse and suck its balls.
Pontious Pilates (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 8:19 pmI don’t find that funny either.
The Simperor (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 8:21 pmOn second thought, that horse idea has its merits.
The Simpering One (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 8:22 pmHelp, I have no idea what I am! Any guesses? Animal, Vegetable or Mineral? Arsenic? Plankton? Pond Scum?
Lovie Hatey (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 8:23 pmPontius
I bet that is an underage non-consenting horse, too, right?
JD (b8e056) — 12/10/2010 @ 8:27 pmI’m an intelligent person, and I express tha tintelligence by engaging in language that only a truck driver can understand. And I’ve known some truck drivers, let me tell you. Larry Craig’s got nothing on my powers of seduction.
Davey Errorstein (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 8:27 pmI’m also black and gay, and like to remind everyone of that fact every waking moment of my wanker life. It’s about all I have left at this point.
Davey Errorstein (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 8:28 pmMy best friend at the previous blog I frequented was a very loyal buttboy, and never remonstrated me when I called every woman commenter on that blog a name that rhymes with punts. Never apologize, never admit to doing anything or saying anything inappropriate, that’s just how I roll.
Davey Errorstein (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 8:31 pmI bet that is an underage non-consenting horse, too, right?
I don’t find that funny at all. Wait a minute, that one was from JD, right…?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! YOU’RE HILARIOUS!!!!!!
Hatie myself much (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 8:33 pmI’m going to die angry and alone, and it will be the fault of the entire straight population of this country.
Davey teh Gay (498ece) — 12/10/2010 @ 8:34 pmThe worst thing in life is trying to be funny when you are not.
The Emperor (d61748) — 12/10/2010 @ 8:47 pmAnd this is not the thread to voice your objection to it, you God – Bothering, Lithium – Inhaling, Sexually – Confused Tranny Buttwipe. Who cares if you find anything funny or not? Take your high horse and suck its balls.
Comment by Pontious Pilates — 12/10/2010 @ 8:19 pm
The Emperor (d61748) — 12/10/2010 @ 8:52 pmNow thats funny….LOL!!
Feels great to be president again!
Bill Clinton (ee740d) — 12/10/2010 @ 9:40 pmI mean… it’s just not funny.
I’m not even sure it’s wrong. They both consented, and now they get demonized because they are democrats? GOP can’t stay out of my bedroom. I’ve got an attractive aunt… if I use protection, it’s really not funny if someone tries to ruin my life over it.
The Emperor (b54cdc) — 12/10/2010 @ 9:47 pmNow, I am president again… where are the interns?
Bubba Clinton (b8e056) — 12/10/2010 @ 10:11 pmProf. David Epstein, Phd., dude, call me.
John Phillips (c07dfa) — 12/10/2010 @ 10:13 pmProf. David Epstein, Phd., dude, can I call you?
Scott Ritter (c07dfa) — 12/10/2010 @ 10:16 pmAm a huge fan of my idol, The Emperor. Am using stupid and funnyless parody to get his attention. I LOVE YOU EMPEROR!!! MEN WANT TO BE YOU. WOMEN WANT TO BE PREGNANT FOR YOU!!! HEY EMPEROR! EMPEROR!! EEEMMPEEERROOOORR!!!1
Fake The Emperor (d61748) — 12/10/2010 @ 11:17 pmI just want to say how proud I am to say that the greatest man to ever walk this Earth of ours, and graced it with his imperial majesty and glory is my lord and master, The Emperor!! Please y’all should bow the knee to the king of the known regions of the universe of mind space and thought, the king of talk himself, THE EMPEROR!! Men, take off your hats. Women, give him your heart… and make babies for him.
greg the carpenter (d61748) — 12/10/2010 @ 11:27 pmI have never met a man so full of mercy and compassion for the lowly and forgotten. He is so great, yet so meek. He is so lovely yet so natural and down to earth. He touched my wife’s heart and she left me. But i dont mind. I would cut off my prick to please him. I would kick ass for him.. please join me to say a big thank you to my lord and master, THE EMPEROR!!! I LOVE YOU SIR. I LOVE THE HELL OUTTA YOU!!!
joe the technician (d61748) — 12/10/2010 @ 11:35 pmANYONE THAT SAYS OUGHT AGAINST MY EMPEROR WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF MY SHOTGUN IN THEIR GROIN… (spits).. nOW THINK ABOUT THAT THE NEXT TIME YOU WANNA ACT LIKE A JERK AROUND HERE…
Ruby the RedNeck (d61748) — 12/10/2010 @ 11:44 pmI like to whine about how easy it is to realistically sockpuppet me while being a complete creep, as if this isn’t an insightful point about my creepiness.
And here’s the best part: I enter threads devoted to humorous sockpuppetting attempting to spoil the thread (I’m a troll) with faux-earnest whining about the immorality of jokes. This is such an obvious self setup for someone to screw with me.
Fact is: I actually ask you guys not to make fun of incest. It really, really bothers me on a deep, personal level.
And if you push that button a little, I will FREAK OUT ALLCAPS STYLE!!!!!!
Not hard to imagine why that might be.
The Emperor (b54cdc) — 12/10/2010 @ 11:48 pmThat last comment is from a fake.. The real Emperor is one of the best minds I have ever met on this blog.. I shed tears of deep love and value as I type this…. excuse me y’all….
Aaron Worthing (d61748) — 12/11/2010 @ 12:10 amI am enemy to all those who are enemy to THE EMPEROR, LORD OF THE CYBORGS.. KING OF THE MACHINES..
TERMINATOR (d61748) — 12/11/2010 @ 12:21 amI WILL BE BACK!!!
I think what you all are doing in my name, pretending to be me is so unfair… Am leaving Patterico..
sock puppet (d61748) — 12/11/2010 @ 12:27 amI want, what they want..
John Rambo (d61748) — 12/11/2010 @ 12:43 amWhat every other guy
that came over here
And spilled his guts
And gave everything he had…WANTS!!
It’s for our country to love us
As much as WE love it!
…thats what i want…
Hey Arnold, do I look gay in this?
Superman (d61748) — 12/11/2010 @ 12:46 amI’m dying for a Paul Wellstone eulogy!
Elizabeth Edwards (78cd0c) — 12/11/2010 @ 1:34 amThere’s nothing funny about dying of cancer unless it’s a conservative. Just ask Tony Snows wife how hilarious it was just after he became room temperature.
lovey 2010 9/10 (78cd0c) — 12/11/2010 @ 1:42 am115. Help, I have no idea what I am! Any guesses? Animal, Vegetable or Mineral? Arsenic? Plankton? Pond Scum?
Comment by Lovie Hatey — 12/10/2010 @ 8:23 pm
— Steady on there, mate! I will have you know that I am across the pond scum.
The Emperor (6b6243) — 12/11/2010 @ 1:50 amWhew!!!
John Edwards (d61748) — 12/11/2010 @ 2:44 amComment by John Edwards — 12/11/2010 @ 2:44 am
George H. W, Bush Snr (d61748) — 12/11/2010 @ 2:50 amYou lucky son of a b*tch!
Q: What do you call a reindeer wearing earmuffs?
A: Anything you want. He can’t hear you.
Santa (8c0a12) — 12/11/2010 @ 6:49 amI think most girls grow up wanting at some point to marry somebody just like their father. Is there something wrong with taking a test drive? You people are hopelessly provincial.
Prof. David Epstein, Phd.'s Daughter (c07dfa) — 12/11/2010 @ 11:23 amMichael Moore’s room attendant wrote:
Mr Moore was passed out with a huge milk moustache.
The common sense Dana (bd7e62) — 12/11/2010 @ 4:25 pmMichael Moore’s room attendant wrote:
That wasn’t milk . . . .
The snarky Dana . . . and the one who fouled up the previous entry (bd7e62) — 12/11/2010 @ 4:26 pmI don’t know who’s who on this thread but I think that’s the real The Emperor. If so, well played.
DRJ, really (d43dcd) — 12/11/2010 @ 4:36 pmIf I can have consensual sex with my father I don’t understand why I can’t marry him. I mean, sure it honked my mom off, but she’ll get over it. If it’s becoming legal for gays to marry in more states, why is it still illegal for me to have sex with and marry my dad if we are in love? What happened to equal protection?
Prof. David Epstein, Phd.'s Daughter (c07dfa) — 12/11/2010 @ 4:40 pmDRJ,
It was not the real The Emperor.
— The Real Patterico
Patterico (c218bd) — 12/11/2010 @ 7:33 pmMy apologies to The Emperor.
DRJ (d43dcd) — 12/11/2010 @ 7:46 pm@Patterico
The Emperor (d61748) — 12/11/2010 @ 8:17 pmI am most honored.
Obama promised me an interne would give me head if i helped him but i did not ask for a woman and he did not tell me he set me up with a guy.So much for this dadt crap.
bill clinton (b89258) — 12/11/2010 @ 9:35 pmRe: 148 & 150-152
Icy Texan (66e366) — 12/12/2010 @ 1:58 amI don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.