Sockpuppet Friday—The “Bristol Pwns Olbermann” Edition!!!
[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.]
As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sock puppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself, alot.
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]
I think I was just cornholed by Bristol Palin!
Keef Oldermann (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:12 amI diddle cats and bugger goats. And I eat my boogers.
William Yelverton (0d2ffc) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:17 amUh, that was me.
Hillary (a18ddc) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:20 amIn response to #1, that is.
James, I’ll up the ante and give BHO both of mine. Then we’ll each have two.
Hillary (a18ddc) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:21 amHillary, don’t start stealin’ mah jokes.
James "Snakehead" Carville (26be8b) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:28 amYou do know I’m not really a word, right?
ALOT, who gets mistaken for "A LOT" quite a lot by the lot of you (325a59) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:30 amWell, I am a word.
Refudiate (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:45 amAnd you better not try to refudiate that.
Sarah Palin (9d1bb3) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:47 amHey! Yelverton dug up a post of ME drinkin’ and called that DWTS-crashing beyotch a slut instead.
Is this a great country or what?! You can get people to call the Palins names over like totally EVERYthing!
Levi Johnston's sis (325a59) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:47 amHey, Keith. Didn’t I say the kids are off limits?
Jon Stewart (9d1bb3) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:52 amMy third cousin twice removed lives with a spinster whose great granfather was an alcoholic with a gambling problem, which proves that willie yelverton is unfit to care for a pet rock, and is a bad person.
yelverton's kitteh (0d2ffc) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:54 amKeith wishes he had two hot chicks wanting him at the same time. He should be good looking like me.
Pete Orzag (9d1bb3) — 12/3/2010 @ 11:54 amUsing a ghostwriter? How amateur can you get?
JFK's editor (cac12c) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:04 pmSorry about confusing Bristol Palin and a person she is not related to by blood or marriage. To me all white people look alike.
Perez Shilton (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:09 pmIf I had Sarah’s looks and my smarts, I would be president now.
Hillary Rodham Clinton (9d1bb3) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:11 pmCan you believe this hypocritical politician? He wrote that all men were created equal and yet owned slaves.
He should have been consistent and written that n—-rs have no rights. And Bristol Palin should tell teenagers to have sex and use protection.
ajb (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:28 pmI thought I had the Palin Vagina Micron Telescope (TM) perfected, but, ajb, I bow to your pwnzrness.
(btwwouldyoulikemetodoanythingelseforyouwhilei’mdownhere?)
Andrew Sullivan (325a59) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:47 pmI can’t touch Israel, which has Jewish-only roads in the West Bank. No American would tolerate that — white-only roads.
Oh wait… did I just conflate Zionist with Judaism? Oops. I guess that means I’m the hateful nutcase the Zionist Illuminati said I was.
Helen Thomas (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:52 pmHey Jon Stewart. Didn’t I say islamofascist lunatics shouldn’t be at a rally to restore sanity?
Salmon Rustdie (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:54 pmAnd after I finish as Secretary of State, I’m getting a divorce from slick willie, taking 2/3rds of his ill gotten gains and finding me a cabanna boy in the islands.
HRC, soon to be HR (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 12:57 pmHi Karzai, thought I’d call you on the phone since I was in the area.
Obamaman (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:00 pmHilldawg would be 99% more effective as a politician if she dumped Bill. As it stands, she has no self respect. She seems too hungry for power.
You gotta occasionally act against your political needs, if the personal issue is powerful enough, or people think you’re a weirdo like Hillary.
I’m not convinced Obama’s worse than Hillary as President. They are both extremely weird people.
Judgey but Right (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:02 pmHey Joe, I’m going to visit our hard working American troops. Do me a favor and announce the new jobs report.
Obamaman (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:03 pmHow can anyone say the unemployment rate is 9.8% now? I dare them to prove it.
B. Obama (9d1bb3) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:08 pmLook Barak buddy, face it. Nancy and Harry really mucked things up for you. You guys could have fixed the tax issue back in February. Now you can’t do anything without the support of the poor hapless minority party you smacked around with Obamacare. So bend over, grab your ankles and say: “Thank you sir, may I please have another?”
Soon to be Speaker Mr. B (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:09 pmDeer Mr
Levi Johnston (848837) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:12 pmOld manOlbermannupDeer Sir: Can you use more stuff about Bristol Palin? I can make up stuff reall good.
Afghan peace now up for auction. $25 Million, 25 million, do I hear 30 million? Thirty million, now 35 million. The lady (Hillary, is that you, honey?) on the left-do I hear 40 million? $40 million, now 40 million, going once…
Hamid Karzai (848837) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:17 pmDear Mr. Boehner: When you take over, can I come by and fondle your gavel? It’s so big and firm!
Nancy Pelosi (848837) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:22 pmOk, so you called me down to the well of the house and gave me the licken’. Big f’en deal. What I am really upset about is having to pay for more back years’ taxes. Hell, the IRS let me off with just 5 years as the statute of limitations had run. Just because I’ve been the head minority/majority huncho on the tax writing committee shouldn’t make a difference.
Charlie R. from NYC (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:23 pmI will introduce a Senate Resolution making Charlie Crist my official bitch.
Marco Rubio (848837) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:25 pmAfter I play with my squeak hole, I always lick my finger.
ajb (eb5afc) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:28 pmCome on over here, Nancy and bend over. I’ll be happy to show you how big and firm it is as I am sure you enjoyed sleeping with it.
Mr. Boehner (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:29 pmThanks Mr. Boehner for that mental image. We might never be able to achieve an erection again.
All the Men in America (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:32 pmYou don’t need the image of Boehner and Pelosi — just think of me.
Helen Thomas (69b3db) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:35 pmTo: Nancy, Harry, E. Robinson of WAPO, moveon.org and etc.
Look you twits, you lost! It’s what I get for listening to you and letting you guys muck up the health care stuff. Now the bastard Republicans have me boxed in a corner. If I don’t give them everything they want now, I will have to in January. Letting taxes go to pre-Bush means 10% unemployment in Jan. 2011 which means goodbye Democrat in the White House. Y’all didn’t learn crap in 1993…..
Barak O. (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:43 pmWe will not play the Koyto game any more. It will cost us too much money. Korea and China are zipping by us.
Japan's Cancun rep. (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:48 pm“These goggles, they do nothin”
rainer wolfcastle (9d0688) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:48 pmYou know I am a blue dog at heart. I would really get ahold of this deficit… if I could just get this bucket off of my head.
Barky Obama (e7d72e) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:50 pmAll Men in America:
I was referring to the stupid gavel she was carrying to the Obamacare vote. Do you think for a moment I’d let her touch my junk?
Mr. Boehner (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:51 pmMy darling bride wrote:
If you had Sarah’s looks, I wouldn’t have been seeing Monica.
Bill Clinton. (3e4784) — 12/3/2010 @ 1:54 pmI’d touch your junk anytime you ask Mr. B.
Barney F. of the House (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 2:03 pmHey there! No one touches anybody’s junk but me or my minons!
Big Sis of HLS (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 2:05 pmYo Billy C., fist bump there buddy!
Barak O (0cd6a2) — 12/3/2010 @ 2:06 pmNow that Nikki is Governor, are my 15 minutes up?
Will Folks (9d1bb3) — 12/3/2010 @ 2:24 pmObviously you are all fascists applying a double standard in protecting only Bristol Palin. Where was the conservative outrage when righty pundits mocked Chelsea Clinton? I understand Glenn Greenwald has an incisive article on this very point in recent days.
Ellers (890cbf) — 12/3/2010 @ 3:17 pmEllers is right. Greenwald is THE man.
Thomas Ellison (890cbf) — 12/3/2010 @ 3:19 pmTrue dat, dog.
Ryan Wilson (890cbf) — 12/3/2010 @ 3:20 pm“Take it from me, Glenn is always right, guard”
matt hale (9d0688) — 12/3/2010 @ 3:24 pmVisit warm, sunny Brazil this winter and escape the American chill! We have room in shooting and non-shooting hotels.
Green Glennwald (890cbf) — 12/3/2010 @ 3:25 pmOlbermann is just Michael Moore in a suit, full of pretensions to intelligence without the brains to back them up.
Smart liberals like Glenn Greenwald don’t get TV shows — although he does have a New York Times bestseller, plus an instantly successful blog that’s read by many members of Congress and that’s the basis of many a front-page newspaper story.
Rick Ellensburg (890cbf) — 12/3/2010 @ 3:35 pmHey, did you see our wonderful ad?
Every down-on-his-or-her-luck celebrity alive (b8e056) — 12/3/2010 @ 5:02 pmWell, I used to bite the heads off bats on stage but now I’ll settle for Julian Assange’s toes.
Meat Loaf, the Other 80s White Meat (325a59) — 12/3/2010 @ 5:22 pmUhhh, Loaf, that was me what bit the head off a bat!
Ozzy Osborne (bd7e62) — 12/3/2010 @ 6:48 pmMy bad, dude, my bad. Memories get a little fuzzy sometimes when you’ve been through all the things I have. Knowmsayin?
Meat Loaf, who really did get hit in the head with a shot put (72db9b) — 12/3/2010 @ 6:55 pmThat’s all right, dude! We know that you ain’t been alrights ever since you filmed Rocky Horror.
Frank N Furter (bd7e62) — 12/3/2010 @ 7:05 pmDamn it, Janet, I really had the hots for that Columbia chick.
Brad Majors (bd7e62) — 12/3/2010 @ 7:07 pmha ha I didn’t get banned
Dustin (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 7:46 pmI do not promise to play nice. I have hard edges. Actually, if William Yelverton would promise to be honest, and epwj would promise to take his meds, I would certainly be nicer 😉
JD (6e25b4) — 12/3/2010 @ 7:52 pmYea, go ahead and change the name of the blog, you’ve banned just about everybody else, so ban yourself too!! (And, BTW, JD says to condemn your self first.)
Obama/Palin2012 Committee (cac12c) — 12/3/2010 @ 7:59 pmSweet. I’ve been yearning to support Mike Castle and Lindsey Graham, but nothing gets me going like Barack Obama.
Dustin ♥'s ☻bama (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:08 pmDoes it, or does it not, state that sock puppetry must be funny?
Rules Committee (b98cae) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:10 pmYou forget: she endorsed Mccain because she is a blessed RINO.
Dustin ♥'s ☻bama (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:12 pmhttp://vimeo.com/17057322
For you, Aaron.
Dustin ♥'s ☻bama (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:19 pmEric is the President of our club.
He Man Palin Haters Club (b98cae) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:22 pmWait, is that Palin a mistake? Was thinking more like Obama/Wright. Don’t know. Just a thought.. No offence..
Comment by Patterico
Nothing you believe is true. The cry will arise for a true bipartisan approach to govt. In fact, it ought to be the Obama-Palin 2012 Committee. Each of them can spend 1/2 of the year golfing, hunting caribou, hunting caribou with golf clubs, snowmobiling on Hawaiian beaches, just as long as they don’t argue on whose turn it is to be in DC.- and they won’t because they’ll play a best out of 6 one on one up to 12 by ones for who gets first pick.
When Palin is in the WH there’ll be no sign of that whatever it is that passes as a dog, rather a Alaskan wolf/Siberian Huskey mix will be top-dog. It is not only trained to sniff out bombs, it can sniff out leaders to harbor bomb-makers in their country. And Todd Palin, with dog at side, will hold the press briefings.
Obama/Palin2012 Committee (cac12c) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:40 pmIt’s the best I got!
Girl has a blog where she notes her intention was to act out your #comment 73, though. It just didn’t work out. I’m just a simple democrat shill trying to make my way in the tubes here… cut me some slack or I’ll send Karl Rove to undermine your aspirations and kick at least 2 puppies.
Dustin ♥'s ☻bama (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:41 pmYou really ought to try to be funny, epwj.
JD (306f5d) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:44 pmCome on, JD. That’s got a laugh right?
I guess I should admit I am easy to please.
Dustin ♥'s ☻bama (b54cdc) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:46 pmthat best out of 6 was a typo, BTW
The socks are not necessarily the puppets of who you think they are, and it’s all GWB’s fault.
Obama/Palin2012 Committee (cac12c) — 12/3/2010 @ 8:49 pmI deleted about 20 of these for not being funny. Someone went manic pretending to be me and several others and saying I had banned people and such. I moderated said manic person. This is not a sock puppet comment.
Patterico (c218bd) — 12/4/2010 @ 11:26 amThe unfunny sock was Yelverton aka Tman aka Pam aka W aka ajb etc.
Patterico (ae6941) — 12/4/2010 @ 1:17 pmIt was really showing his ass yesterday, Patterico.
JD (109425) — 12/4/2010 @ 1:48 pm> This is not a sock puppet comment.
Or so you say!
Btw, this is not a suck puppet comment either.
Or is it?
Aaron Worthing (b8e056) — 12/4/2010 @ 3:36 pmok, this is a late post, but a guy has to say what he has to say…
Yo Harry! What the hell were you thinking with the senate vote? Now I’m really in the box. Might as well make the Bush rates, alt min tax and estate tax fixes permanent.
Barak O (0cd6a2) — 12/4/2010 @ 3:50 pmThank you Sir may I please have another?
Barak O (0cd6a2) — 12/4/2010 @ 3:53 pmhttp://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/12/03/AR2010120304485.html?nav=rss_opinion/columns
Palination (2925ff) — 12/4/2010 @ 4:20 pmThought on sock puppet Fridays, rules don’t apply..? Shocka!
The Emperor (f40c50) — 12/5/2010 @ 6:46 pm$100,000 to anyone who knows Assange’s whereabouts.
Russian mafia (e8af2b) — 12/5/2010 @ 8:41 pm