Sockpuppet Friday! The Electoral Schadenfreude Edition (Update: Now With Olbermann Schadenfreude!)
[Guest post by Aaron Worthing; if you have tips, please send them here.]
As usual, you are positively encouraged to engage in sock puppetry in this thread. The usual rules apply.
Please, be sure to switch back to your regular handle when commenting on other threads. I have made that mistake myself, alot.
And let me suggest this time, imitate a politician you particularly despised who lost and get your schadenfreude on! Or maybe imitate someone you liked but lost, and have fun with that. Update: Or you could just make fun of Olbermann for being suspended. Or do whatever the heck you want, I don’t care.
And remember: the worst sin you can commit on this thread is not being funny.
[Posted and authored by Aaron Worthing.]
http://yfrog.com/fy6k8mj
See this? I’m, uh….I’m hittin that.
Todd Palin (ded5f2) — 11/5/2010 @ 9:57 amAre there any other close elections I missed?
Just trying to find a place to hang out, guys!
Bag of Ballots (b54cdc) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:01 amGeorge W. Bush is the living incarnation of Satan, and must be staked through the heart, beheaded, his mouth filled with raw garlic, and buried in hallowed ground.
w (dce15e) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:05 amI suppose those voters wanted a tarantula instead of a rocket scientist.
Ruth McClung (9d1bb3) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:17 amI want to thank all my supporters from Harrah’s. They really came through for me.
Harry Reid (9d1bb3) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:18 amwhy the chinaman to be cross the road?
Bernanke’s devalued third world US dollar try to make sex with him!
shecky hu (a55ba0) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:20 am“You have this car, it’s been driven into a ditch. It got banged up a bit, but it still runs and has a lot of power under the hood. And then brushing off critics who said that neither I nor anyone else on my team had any mechanical experience at all, we went about fixing the car… by letting air out of two tires, yanking three plug wires and adding about a thousand pounds of ballast into the trunk.
And the GOP could have helped me but no…. all they wanted to do was stand atop the ditch and complain about what I was doing to the car…”
Barack Obama (369bc6) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:22 amHey, I may have spent 10% of my net worth trying to be elected governor, but at least I didn’t waste money on an immigration lawyer for what would have been a fruitless effort to change the immigration status of the maid who had been like a member of my family for 9 years
Meg Whitman (28a423) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:23 am#8 looks like a thread-winner to me
happyfeet (a55ba0) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:24 amYou’re gonna have to pry the spotlight from my cold dead hands.
Christine O'Donnell (d25c82) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:30 amAll of you right-wing, mouth-breating @#%^$**@s can just get sick and die. You fundamentalist Taliban!
Alan Grayson (eccfd6) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:32 amIt’s a lot easier winning arguments against
a) those of you who support horrible torture, or those of you who wanted O’Donnell to lose, or those of you who lied about O’Donnell’s flaws because YOU HAVE NO CHARACTER!@!!!!!
than
b) those of you who actually exist.
So I’m thinking I’ll just debate option A a lot.
Cristoph (b54cdc) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:34 amStupid wingnutz cant even spel.
w (dce15e) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:52 amAll Christers are ghey and stoopid!
happierfeet (e7577d) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:53 amDamn Tea Party costs us credibility in the cocktail circuit!!!!!
Cocktail Conservatives (aka RINO) (a8a9b2) — 11/5/2010 @ 11:05 amIf not for the Tea Party, we might have picked up 300 Seats in the House and 123 in the Senate!
Lindsey Graham (a8a9b2) — 11/5/2010 @ 11:07 amdont even get me started on that Sarah Palin hoochie or teh Pam Tebow cumslut
happiestfeet (dce15e) — 11/5/2010 @ 11:09 amI will have you know that I am your intellectual and moral superior, in every way. I laugh at you godbothering jesuslanders while I live the life of luxury on the taxpayers dime . My academic resume far exceeds anything you racist anti-science wingnutz could ever dream of attaining. You teabggers need to examine you christer souls and see if jesus would approve of your torturing genocidal racist ways. Tell us about your personal relationship with Christ, baggers.
William Yelverton (109425) — 11/5/2010 @ 11:10 amI changed my mind, #7 rocks!
happyfeet (369bc6) — 11/5/2010 @ 11:23 amHow do I get the Unicorn blood out of my sandals?
Buzz in berkley (b065b1) — 11/5/2010 @ 11:26 amWho’s going to replace keith on the msnbc lesbian bowling team?
rachel madcow (936b00) — 11/5/2010 @ 11:54 amSpecial Comment:
………………………………………
Keeeef Overbite (fb8597) — 11/5/2010 @ 11:57 amHow can they suspend me? I am the Edward R. Murrow of our time!
(Yes, he really was suspended. Follow the links.)
Keeth Oldermann (e7d72e) — 11/5/2010 @ 11:59 amHey, guess what, I just found a quarter million or so ballots next to a middle school locker here in California, and they’re all straight party GOP! I’m sure the election officials will want to start counting these right away.
Uh oh, looks like my printer toner’s running low. So I gotta run to Staples right quick, and I may not have found these ballots until tomorrow.
turnabout is fair play (1db6c5) — 11/5/2010 @ 12:06 pmWorst person in the world:
Phil Griffin… who only thinks he’s the boss of MSNBC!
Keeeeef (b54cdc) — 11/5/2010 @ 12:07 pmSo, when do I start as the new guest blogger here?
Keith Olbermann (fb8750) — 11/5/2010 @ 12:12 pmHow did the American people dare to do that? I mean, how could they turn back the clocks from dawn to night? And how could the Florida people elect a Cuban – a Republican Cuban, to make things even worse? I don’t recognize this country anymore.
Arianna Huffington (0692b1) — 11/5/2010 @ 12:44 pmGee, I’ve been at the victory ballroom for a couple of days now and nobody’s showed. D’ya think that other dude won? Will the DSCC give me a cab slip so I can get my butt home?
Alvin Greene (eaa9e3) — 11/5/2010 @ 12:44 pmChris Coons can suck it.
Christine O'Donnell (d204b0) — 11/5/2010 @ 12:46 pmNot that I have anything against Cubans – I have many Cuban friends, like Alejandro and his younger brother Modesto; we had a conversation on Skype and they are as devastated as I am over the election of that reactionary, tea-bagging traitor Rubio.
Arianna Huffington (0692b1) — 11/5/2010 @ 12:48 pmThe GOP leadership all have hariy palms. I’ll leave it up to you to decide if it’s due to a spell I cast on them or, you know, that other thing…
Christine O'Donnell (1db6c5) — 11/5/2010 @ 12:52 pmI’m definetely not anti-Cuban. I own all records of Xavier Cugat, Perez Prado, Tito Puente and Cumpay Segundo. And Cuban literature is so rich, so deep, so varied. Really, I’m not anti-Cuban at all.
Arianna Huffington (0692b1) — 11/5/2010 @ 12:54 pmViva Cuba Libre!!!!!
Arianna Huffington (0692b1) — 11/5/2010 @ 12:55 pmViva Cuba Libre!!!!!
Arianna Huffington (0692b1) — 11/5/2010 @ 12:55 pmNot that it isn’t free now – Cuba is a wonderful place, with a healthcare system that we should take as an inspiration to build the single-payer system we need so badly.
Arianna Huffington (0692b1) — 11/5/2010 @ 12:56 pmWHAT!!??!!!
Keef Olbermensch (8096f2) — 11/5/2010 @ 1:12 pmWe have standards….
NBC News Corp (fd190b) — 11/5/2010 @ 1:15 pmWe know this may be *news*.
NBC News Corp (fd190b) — 11/5/2010 @ 1:16 pmDear Juan Williams: Are they still hiring over there?
Keith Olbermann (848837) — 11/5/2010 @ 1:31 pmDear
Keith Olbermann (848837) — 11/5/2010 @ 1:34 pmFauxFOX News: Attached is my resume’ for your consideration.This is yet another example of the authoritarian tight wing teabaggers shutting down a voice that does not agree with them, beacuse they fear facts and science.
William Yelverton (306f5d) — 11/5/2010 @ 1:39 pmDear Keith-
Have you tried ABC, CBS, NPR, PBS, CNN, WPO, NYT,The Daily Show, Colbert?
FOX News (fd190b) — 11/5/2010 @ 1:40 pmHere’s one for ya … via Redstate …
“In the 36 contested races the Republican candidate averaged 52.64 %.
The Democrat candidate averaged an anemic 44.08%.
Of the 37 races, the GOP won 24 while the Democrats won only 13.
Finally, just to further show how awful the night was for the Democrats in the Senate races, they had no less than FIVE candidates who got a smaller share of the vote than Alvin Greene.”
awww, shucks.
Alvin Greene (9e3371) — 11/5/2010 @ 1:41 pmhttp://www.redstate.com/barleycorn/2010/11/04/incredible-numbers-for-the-gop-in-the-senate-races/
I have never been a Republican. I only was playing one for awhile.
Arianna Huffington (9d1bb3) — 11/5/2010 @ 1:41 pmI forgot to thank Bob Shrum in my Tuesday night speech. I couldn’t have done better than 5 other loser Democrat Senate candidates without his advice … to them.
Alvin Greene (9e3371) — 11/5/2010 @ 1:55 pmAny comment from Greene other than “Demint started the recession” just sounds unrealistic to me.
I guess you could go for a hyper silly version of Greene that is extremely cerebral and responsive.
Dustin (b54cdc) — 11/5/2010 @ 1:58 pmWhat we had here, uh, was a failure, uh, to communicate.
Barack Obama (9e3371) — 11/5/2010 @ 2:01 pmSome economies… ya jes cain’t reach…
Strother Martin (8096f2) — 11/5/2010 @ 2:06 pmWho’s filling in for Olbermann? I hope it’s Glenn Greenwald!
Rick Ellerson (f07e38) — 11/5/2010 @ 2:07 pmNow that you mention it, Glenn Greenwald would make an excellent substitute — or replacement — for Olbermann. A constitutional scholar and best-selling author would lend MSNBC some much-needed gravitas.
Wilson (f07e38) — 11/5/2010 @ 2:09 pmYou know, with Sen. Russ Feingold leaving the Senate, we nead a national outlet for Glenn Greenwald. Maybe he could fill in for Olbermann?
Ellers (f07e38) — 11/5/2010 @ 2:11 pmI thought we were sacking Shultz to get Grayson in here ……
Keith Olbermann (aec19b) — 11/5/2010 @ 2:25 pmI’ve already applied for Keith’s position, since I’m at least as even handed as he is.
happyfeet (fb8750) — 11/5/2010 @ 2:29 pmDon’t worry about your forthcoming firing, Keef – you’re going to have a lot of company about four weeks from now.
Comcast Management (ad2c6a) — 11/5/2010 @ 2:38 pmBoosh is a torture freak and Cheney his evil handmaiden – I want to see them both strung up at sunrise tomorrow. BTW, Republicans are the most violent and nasty people that exist on the earth.
little "w" illie (aka Zamfir) (ad2c6a) — 11/5/2010 @ 2:40 pmI also am going to link to sources that point to memes discredited and hooted out of even the MSM about two years ago, on average. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to practice some more on my skinflute today – this evening I’m providing the accompaniement to another performance of Bad Lesbian Dance.
little "w" illie (aka Zamfir) (ad2c6a) — 11/5/2010 @ 2:43 pmI’ve seen Bad Lesbian Dance, and let me tell you – it’s simply awful, couldn’t be worse! Encore! Simply terrible!
Leonard Pince Garnell (ad2c6a) — 11/5/2010 @ 2:44 pmSorry Meg, you’ve been outbid.
eBay (b54cdc) — 11/5/2010 @ 2:45 pmIt’s not Barack Obama’s Senate Seat. It’s mine. This time anyway.
Mark Kirk (9d1bb3) — 11/5/2010 @ 3:30 pmThanks Fox News for allowing me to contribute to GOP candidates while on contract. I know… we say fair and balanced … but everyone knows, we’re really not cable news, we’re cable truth!! And thanks for that million dollar donation to the GOP governors!
Sarah Palin (9df40f) — 11/5/2010 @ 3:33 pmThey are coming unglued again.
JD (0c5de4) — 11/5/2010 @ 3:35 pmOK Last time I had no idea what I was doing. This time, Linda won’t be around so I won’t be distracted. Be prepared for real governing this time.
Governor (elect) Jerry Brown (9d1bb3) — 11/5/2010 @ 3:38 pmI take full responsibility for my loss … or for anything, really.
/sarc
But thanks for the campaign funds!
Christine O'Donnell (8ec277) — 11/5/2010 @ 3:39 pmWe have plenty of cash to spend on elections, because we can Live rent free in leftists heads.
Tea Party (0c5de4) — 11/5/2010 @ 3:39 pmI lied about the whole girlfriend and splitting wood today. I needed to go molest my underage goat and cat.
William Yelvton (0c5de4) — 11/5/2010 @ 3:40 pmHonest, there is nothing suspisious about the head CT democrat finding a bag of undelivered votes in Bridgeport. (We’ll have to send him to Chicago for lessons).
Danny boy M (0cd6a2) — 11/5/2010 @ 3:55 pmThere’s always more Democrat votes to be found. I am living proof.
Al Franken (9d1bb3) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:01 pmLook Karl, it really wasn’t necessary to toss ballots into the creek in this district. Ain’t enough republicans here anyway. Now we have to fill out this stupid report.
SF Police detective (0cd6a2) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:04 pmDamn, I thought she would leave.
Steny H (0cd6a2) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:06 pmThese elctions results are what I get for listening to Eugene of WAPO
Obamaman (0cd6a2) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:07 pmAfter all the money I put up for you characters and this is what you have to show for it? Crips, you spent more than the Republicans.
G. Soros (0cd6a2) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:11 pmThanks for voting for me. You may cash your vote for Harry vouchers at your nearest union hall.
Harry the R. (0cd6a2) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:15 pmThank you all of you California liberals, illegal aliens, dead people, and those voting twice and multiple times for me.
And call me Senator, not maam. I really worked hard for this job, even though I have nothing to show for it.
Barbara B (0cd6a2) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:20 pmReally everyone, just like the last time, I have no idea what to do.
Jerry Brown (0cd6a2) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:22 pmOh, shit. You mean the Republicans actually control all of Florida?
Obamaman (0cd6a2) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:26 pmThe Republicans control HOW many governships and ledgislative bodies? Crap.
Nancy P (0cd6a2) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:28 pmCongratulations, Jer!
Mary Nichols (a18ddc) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:33 pmWith your help, I can finish my job of destroying the California economy!
BWAHAHAHA!</b
Memo to White House.
Nancy P (0cd6a2) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:35 pmSince I will no longer get top military flights with lots of liquor for me and my family and freinds, please arrange for Airforce 2 to be at my disposal. After all, the minority leader of the House deserves something.
We take the House, Pelosi stays and Olbermann goes. Yes, it has been a very good week for our side.
Mephostopheles (9d1bb3) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:37 pmI’m just lucky that I caught this wave of popularity for zombies.
Harry R (743fd1) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:39 pm60.OK Last time I had no idea what I was doing. This time, Linda won’t be around so I won’t be distracted. Be prepared for real governing this time.
Comment by Governor (elect) Jerry Brown
What? No Linda? That was the only good part of your being governor before and why I voted for you this time! And I won’t even be able to stay stoned to help ignore you. If this gets any worse, I’m going to sneak back into Mexico.
Average Californian (3d3f72) — 11/5/2010 @ 4:57 pm“Thanks for voting for me. You may cash your vote for Harry vouchers at your nearest union hall.
Comment by Harry the R. — 11/5/2010 @ 4:15 pm”
Or use them for a free meal at any Harrahs Casino.
Hairy (9d1bb3) — 11/5/2010 @ 5:05 pmWe do not believe it can be proven that people who filled in the bubble next to Joe Miller actually intended to vote for Joe Miller.
The Alaskan Supreme Court (2ac8b3) — 11/5/2010 @ 5:25 pmKeith Olbermann stopped after flight to Canada, discovered to actually be young Asian male.
NBC Breaking News (2ac8b3) — 11/5/2010 @ 5:27 pmI don’t know about the rest of you guys, but the only way I can bang Linda is roll her around in flour and look for the wet spot.
(Blatantly stolen from the 1970s-era National Lampoon’s letters section. Substitute “Liz” for “Linda” and “John Warner” for “Jerry B.)
Jerry B (743fd1) — 11/5/2010 @ 5:31 pm#42 ~ Arianna, shhh…
The Governator (fe91ca) — 11/5/2010 @ 5:37 pmDon’t give our secrets away,I still have a few folks fooled in this state!
Dear Rory: I wish I could have given you some of my charisma and vitality.
Harry Reid (f29528) — 11/5/2010 @ 5:57 pmNow that I’m about to replaced MSNBC’s chief Jeff Zucker with the Comcast takeover of NBC, I can screw this socialist Olbermann. When I served as key fundraiser to George Bush, and on Bush’s Council of Advisers on Science and Technology, I wa raising huge bucks for the GOP. So…. bottom line, it’s perfectly fine for Joe Scarborough and Pat Buchanen to contribute to the GOP, but sorry Olbermann, I’m in charge now. It’s perfectly OK by me that Fox News’ Sean Hannity gave $10,000 to Rep. Michele Bachmann this year. We know that they are fair and balanced.
Steve Burke (9df40f) — 11/5/2010 @ 6:41 pmNow that I’m about to replaced MSNBC’s chief Jeff Zucker with the Comcast takeover of NBC, I can screw this socialist Olbermann. When I served as key fundraiser to George Bush, and on Bush’s Council of Advisers on Science and Technology, I wa raising huge bucks for the GOP. So…. bottom line, it’s perfectly fine for Joe Scarborough and Pat Buchanen to contribute to the GOP, but sorry Olbermann, I’m in charge now. It’s perfectly OK by me that Fox News’ Sean Hannity gave $10,000 to Rep. Michele Bachmann this year. We know that they are fair and balanced.
Steve Burke (9df40f) — 11/5/2010 @ 6:42 pmYou know, the Republicans drove this car into the ditch, and now they think we can just put it in reverse and back out into the same old tired policies. But that’s not what we’re going to do, that’s not why we won. Instead, we’re going to give it the gas, and blast through this ditch into the future!
Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States (bd7e62) — 11/5/2010 @ 6:47 pmDon’t worry, Mr President. So you stove in the grille, busted the headlights, knocked the front end out of alignment and just generally tore the car all to pieces. We have the parts to make it good as new again.
Manny, Moe and Jack (bd7e62) — 11/5/2010 @ 6:49 pmDon’t worry, Mr President, half of the cars we fix don’t need a new transmission.
Of course, that means the other half do.
Aamco (bd7e62) — 11/5/2010 @ 6:51 pmDon’t worry, Mr President, we have special rates for good drivers.
The Gekko (bd7e62) — 11/5/2010 @ 6:52 pmWhere did this idea that Olbergasm got fired for making a political donation start? I predicted a while back that they would try to make him into a martyr, some kind of symbol of conservatives squelching their voices, and sure as the sun rising in the east, you can see from the comment above a narrative forming …
JD (c8c1d2) — 11/5/2010 @ 6:57 pm@83 Instead, we’re going to give it the gas, and blast through this ditch into the future!
At 88 miles an hour with a deficit of 1.21 gigadollars!
Doc Brown (1db6c5) — 11/5/2010 @ 6:59 pmHey Doc, it’s almost 2015, and there are no flying
Marty McFly (82637e) — 11/5/2010 @ 7:02 pmcars in Hill Valley
This Uberdouche case may be a tough nut to crack… something tells me he didn’t get
DetectiveMikeHunt (beb613) — 11/5/2010 @ 7:15 pmsuspendedfired for a violation of NBC ethics, because they have none… that dog don’t hunt… it has to be for reasons that aren’t readily apparent… still waters run deep… especially when they have an obnoxiously loud mouth like that mope… but have no fear… Mike Hunt is on the case… I’ll get to the bottom of this one and I’ll be knockin’ that bottom out.Hey, just because we receive immense amounts of money from money-grubbing capitalists such as GE, Soros, Jobs, Gates, Huffington, the Tides Foundation and every significant corporation in America, we really hate these people.
We wouldn’t do anything to promote their causes. We’re pure as the driven snow.
We only hate the dirty capitalists that disagree with us.
every left-winger (743fd1) — 11/5/2010 @ 8:17 pmOh God, I hope so!
Really big scrotum (d504ec) — 11/5/2010 @ 8:30 pmIt looks like she is carrying Shaquille O’Neal’s scrotum.
Joan Rivers (c8c1d2) — 11/5/2010 @ 8:34 pm.tfel ot thgir morf gnitirw ma I yhw s’tahT .mami oreZ dnuorG eht rof namsekops laiciffo eb ot lliw boj txen yM
nnamreblo htiek (ee5c8d) — 11/5/2010 @ 8:48 pmHey, let me be serious here for a minute. Yes, I see you over there Arianna. Yes, yes.
We see the way. We know our cause is true. We understand the way. The way is righteous. The way is a long, slow fight, but it is only the right way.
We can say we have had a set-back. We can say our path is obscured by those who don’t, those who can’t, those who sit, while we say we believe in those that do, those who can and those who stand up for what is right.
I believe in what is right. I believe in those that can. I believe you want a world that says yes we can, instead of those who say no we can’t.
I believe in a world that understands that ideas surmount ideals.
I believe in the words of a long-dead poet who simply said “Imagine.”
Of course, everything I said has no practical meaning, but, heck, I am the President. So, you know, submit.
The President (743fd1) — 11/5/2010 @ 9:45 pmDetective Hunt is correct (#92).
Bat Man (645bed) — 11/5/2010 @ 10:24 pmKeith saw that he was about to be let go (bad ratings maybe) and created another reason to be let go so it wouldn’t look so bad.
The following is a paid political broadcast on behalf of . . . ME!!!
Olbermannequin (6b61f8) — 11/6/2010 @ 1:54 amCBS and the AP shellacked me!!!
Da Prez (6b61f8) — 11/6/2010 @ 3:23 amWe can’t spell ‘Olbermann,’ but we sure will go out of our way to defend him!
w, kman, disco stu & timmah (6b61f8) — 11/6/2010 @ 3:24 amI’m still cute as a bug’s ear, which — coincidentally — was the secret ingredient in my latest potion.
Witchy-poo O'Donnell (6b61f8) — 11/6/2010 @ 3:27 amI can’t wait for the leader to stroke me in the hallowed halls of the Capitol!
Reid's pet Coons (6b61f8) — 11/6/2010 @ 3:29 amWatch it!!!
Tom Foley & Larry Craig (6b61f8) — 11/6/2010 @ 3:31 amAnd that’s the news for Friday, November 5th, 2010 . . . 1 day since I screwed the pooch.
K.O. (6b61f8) — 11/6/2010 @ 3:35 amI’m more of a sackpuppet, really.
Really big scrotum (d504ec) — 11/6/2010 @ 7:56 amI may be soft spoken but you would be surprised how big my stick is. And I know how to use it.
Harry Reid (9d1bb3) — 11/6/2010 @ 8:42 am—112 That statement is proof as to why Harry is never allowed to be alone with children.
highpockets (d42ce5) — 11/6/2010 @ 6:48 pmBreaking News – Animal Planet is proud to announce an exciting new series for upcoming television season, Hunting RINOs, starring self-proclaimed genius and everybody’s favorite rage toad Mark Levin. We will debut this new series in January 2011 if Mr. Levin manages to get his feet out of his mouth by then.
Marlin Perkins (940075) — 11/6/2010 @ 7:19 pm