Patterico's Pontifications


Happy Halloween

Filed under: Current Events — DRJ @ 3:52 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]

Time for me to go hand out candy to Halloween princesses, Supermans, ghosts and goblins. Here’s hoping everyone gets all treats and no tricks.


UPDATE BY PATTERICO: Make sure you give the kids candy. Or else.

36 Responses to “Happy Halloween”

  1. The kids will get their choice of popcorn balls, assorted candy bars, or mini cans of playdough.

    The adults get pub draught cans of Young’s Double Chocolate Stoudt. It’s a tradition…

    Matador (e01f85)

  2. I’m going to Matador’s….

    gahrie (9d1bb3)

  3. That was a pretty funny video. I’m sort of bemused at the Disneyfication of Halloween. When I was a kid, Halloween was a night when little kids should stay close to home or inside. The teenagers ran riot and that was when the south side of Chicago was upper middle class. Rosenblum’s drugstore was the hangout on 71st street near the school I went to through 8th grade. Rosenblum hated kids and they thronged his store because it had the only soda fountain in the neighborhood. We would go in there and leave a glass of water upside down on the table so the busboy couldn’t get it off without spilling all the water (You put a piece of paper on top to hold the water in as you invert it, then pull the paper out). He hated us.

    Every Halloween, he would board up the windows of his store and teenagers would riot outside. We would all sing “We want Rosie with a rope around his neck.” One year, a bunch more rowdy than my crowd stopped an IC train and roamed through the train cars.

    There was an old lady who had a dress shop at 73rd and Paxton. La Mode Dress Shop. She was so mean to kids that she would run out and grab balls and model airplanes that landed in the little yard next to the shop. Every Halloween her windows got covered with parafin. Cherry bombs would be dropped in her mailbox. That was the night that kids got even with the jerks, like David in that video.

    It is completely different now. I shake my head sometimes. It was changing when my older kids were little. The Dean of the Medical School lived on the next block in South Pasadena. He had teenagers then. They would drape the entry hall of his house in black and have a table with candles and they would wear scary costumes. The little neighborhood kids had to come into the black entry hall and go up to the table while these three big kids sat there in scary costumes. The little kids had to be brave enough to ask for candy. It was here in a bowl but surrounded by haunted house decorations.

    Mike K (2cf494)

  4. I live near Seattle and all of the kids are going to get shade grown dark chocolate picked by happy fair trade diverse workers wearing Birkenstocks from farms that have a gender balanced ownership and management structure.

    Huey (b957d9)

  5. I’d give them what BHO is giving us, but that would land me in jail.
    A lump of coal is a good alternative, but I don’t think the enviro’s allow it to be sold in SoCal.

    AD - RtR/OS! (a63966)

  6. I think we’ve had 18 so far (not counting escorts.) Oreos or Rice Krispy bar and some miniature chocolates.

    htom (412a17)

  7. I do not care for Halloween. I do like Golden Tate.

    JD (abe6ab)

  8. Off topic, but I sent this to DRJ a while back. It’s true, and a salute to our women commenters:

    So…I don’t want to sound inappropriate, but I sure thought of a couple of the female posters at Patterico’s when I read:

    Eric Blair (dd11cc)

  9. It’s all about the clowns with you, isn’t it, JD?

    Eric Blair (dd11cc)

  10. Remember that mimes are the natural enemies of clowns. I’m thinking that “Shakes the Clown” was anthropological.

    Eric Blair (dd11cc)

  11. I’m leaving for a party in a bit, dressed as an MSM-hating blogger.

    Brother Bradley J. Fikes, C.O.R. (0ea407)

  12. The lights are now out; Halloween has come and gone. It was a good night with 153 kids. The first 114 cleaned me out of the 20 bags of candy I bought so the last 39 got money — 50 cents each except for this one little girl who got a buck for having the prefect Dorothy costume, right down to the ruby shoes and Toto in a basket.

    Most common was the Reaper. Then from my impression, came witches, princesses, vampires, ninjas, cats, fairies, transformers, batman, spiderman, …

    There were a few gangsters, one of which was pretty darn good, but none could name any. I did have a Cleopatra and she could actually tell me something about her.

    The embarrassment of the night was when I asked one teenager what the costume was, and the reply was “A boy.” I said, “I know that, but what are you dressed as?, and she said, “I’m a GIRL!” I said “Good costume!”, and gave her double the candy.

    Dusty (7bba43)

  13. In Qatar the Arabs are starting to like Halloween as they have a tradition of having young children (mostly girls) dress up in sequened long dressess and go around to mostly relatives where candy is showered on them

    So Halloween is a good fit

    My Favorite costume was Father Time and a 4 year old Japanese girl in an old fashioned box of theater popcorn (hand made costume)

    EricPWJohnson (a90a13)

  14. Oh the French like it too, its about the only time they ever talk to us Americans

    EricPWJohnson (a90a13)

  15. I want to live in your neighborhood, Dustin. The only unusual costume I had was a little Hispanic girl dressed as a Southern Belle.

    It would be fun to see your trick-or-treaters, too, Eric. They sound really creative.

    Bradley — Does that mean you went in your PJs?

    DRJ (dff2ca)

  16. Yes, Eric. It does pretty much center around my increasing phobia of clowns. And midgets. You can add adults in costumes to my list. This whole day just creeps me out.

    But, I heard my illini beat the sh*t out of Muck Fichigan today. Awesome games on right now.

    JD (0b1bd3)

  17. Mimes are just a non-speaking French-ish version of clowns, and as such, are every bit as creepy.

    JD (0b1bd3)

  18. DRJ,
    PJs & bathrobe, sign saying “Down With The MSM” held by a light saber, foil hat with another sign, “Bloggers Rule!”

    Brother Bradley J. Fikes, C.O.R. (0ea407)

  19. It is nice to get a lot of treaters, DRJ. I did get quite a lot of different ones that I didn’t think to list … a Marilyn Monroe, two Wendy’s (the hamburger one), a lady bug which I knew as soon as I saw her red knee highs with black dots (it was cold here so she had a coat over her dress), several butterflies and a really good Count Dracula (who also got double candy). Oh and now that I thnk of it, I had a pretty good mummy who was wrapped up in gauze.

    I didn’t have a chance to get ready this year but most years I dress up, too, and it’s always the same — overalls and flannel stuffed with hay and I put a carved pumpkin on my head. Then I sit all evening in a chair with the candy in my lap waiting for them to come onto the porch.

    The newbies are a sight to watch. A couple of kids actually asked where pumpkin head was tonight.

    Dusty (7bba43)

  20. The best part of Halloween in our historical district is that the police close off several blocks where the old grand Victorians are fittingly attired in every sort of Halloween stuff imaginable. Some are giant pirate ships with a skeleton captain at the wheel up on the roof’s widow walk, cobwebs draped everywhere. Some are haunted mansions, or witches “brewing” cider in a big cauldron. It’s fabulous. The effort that these homeowners put it into the night just to keep the towns’ children entertained and provide such a safe place for families is really priceless. Very small town Americana even though we are not technically a small town. It’s really a great night to take in the area. On the costume side, who knew so many little ballerinas and pirates lived in my town.

    Dana (e9ba20)

  21. JD, I respect if not understand your concern with clowns. But remember the principle that “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Mimes hate clowns. Perhaps they are their natural predators.

    Of course, it mimes removed too many clowns from the ecosphere, it would lead to a population explosion of mimes, which is a problem in and of itself. But if we hang on, there would be a eventual crash in their population too.

    It’s the price we may have to pay for a clown-free world.

    Eric Blair (dd11cc)

  22. Eric – Mimes are inherently evil. I suggest Mace. Or tazers. Even if enemies of clowns, they themselves are enemies of all that is good and right in this world. But I am deathly afraid of Oompa Loompas, so my neurotic issues have to be taken into account in any assessment of the relative evil-ness of mimes and clowns.

    JD (3164f4)

  23. I played them the Barack Hussein Obama ummmm ummmm ummmm song and then confiscated 2/3 of their haul

    SteveG (ece883)

  24. I used to love Halloween. I think the statute of limitations has run out by now.

    Ag80 (c46598)

  25. Steven Crowder should have incorporated your ummmm ummmm ummmm song into his video, SteveG. It would have been even funnier.

    Dana – Have you taken/posted photos of those houses? They sound remarkable.

    DRJ (dff2ca)

  26. I wonder if Anita Dunn went out dressed as one of the characters from the TV show “V” ?

    Alasdair (205079)

  27. My Halloween started at 1:00 o’clock in the afternoon on Friday and just finished (maybe). I was the Phantom of The Opera in the school play and then it was the cast party at my house and my parties always with up with a sleepover for some of the guests and then it was time for bacon and eggs and pancakes and candy and pizza and munchies and grilled lamb chops and more whiskey and wine and I think I have the DTs and it will take me the next year to sort out which of the neighbors’ wives are mad at me for getting their husbands drunk.

    nk (df76d4)

  28. always *wind* up

    nk (df76d4)

  29. Anita Dunn should have gone as the “Scarecrow”!

    AD - RtR/OS! (c181ce)

  30. ‘Grand-theft Choco’ committed by some very creative kids this year… and an annual Halloween ritual- replaying Orson Welles’ radio masterpiece, ‘War of the Worlds’ at 9 PM. Safe night to one and all.

    DCSCA (9d1bb3)

  31. Halloween is a great night for War of the Worlds. Good night to you, too, DCSCA.

    DRJ (dff2ca)

  32. If you are unfortunate enough to have your trees dressed in toilet paper, break out the garden hose.
    It works quickly.

    Paul Albers (663ee0)

  33. I get all the candy my son can’t eat (wheat & milk allergies). We give him $ in place of it.

    JEA (e719af)

  34. To my chagrin, none of my allegedly savvy reporter colleague knew what MSM stood for, and I had to explain my blogger costume to them. But a good time nonetheless, at least for me: I sang kareoke for the first time!

    Brother Bradley J. Fikes, C.O.R. (0ea407)

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