Dylan Klebold’s Mother Speaks
[Guest post by DRJ]
Susan Klebold, the mother of Columbine murderer Dylan Klebold, has written an article for The Oprah Magazine. Her focus is on Dylan’s suicidal thoughts and her belief that they led to his acts:
“From the writings Dylan left behind, criminal psychologists have concluded that he was depressed and suicidal,” Susan Klebold wrote in one passage. “When I first saw copied pages of these writings, they broke my heart. I’d had no inkling of the battle Dylan was waging in his mind.”
She added: “Dylan’s participation in the massacre was impossible for me to accept until I began to connect it to his own death. Once I saw his journals, it was clear to me that Dylan entered the school with the intention of dying there. And so in order to understand what he might have been thinking, I started to learn all I could about suicide.”
It would be easy to dislike Klebold for what her son did but I can’t because of this part:
“For the rest of my life, I will be haunted by the horror and anguish Dylan caused,” she wrote. “I cannot look at a child in a grocery store or on the street without thinking about how my son’s schoolmates spent the last moments of their lives. Dylan changed everything I believed about myself, about God, about family, and about love.”
Suicide is a cruel act for those left behind. It’s even worse if you take innocents with you.
— DRJ
I agree – his parents were not neglectful of their duties to their son; there are bad seeds that, no matter what you do, still end up the same.
Dmac (5ddc52) — 10/10/2009 @ 3:30 pmSometimes mentally ill people find each other and make a bigger mess of things…. together.
Mrs. Klebold has a heart, and mine goes out to her.
SteveG (97b6b9) — 10/10/2009 @ 3:41 pmWhat a coup for Oprah.
happyfeet (71f55e) — 10/10/2009 @ 3:44 pmA thoughtful post, DRJ. Thank you.
Machinist (79b3ab) — 10/10/2009 @ 4:27 pmThose kids were driven to what they did. Maybe more by their own demons, but they were also bullied and tormented and marginalized by their classmates. Don’t call somebody a “faggot” and a “nerd” and a “creep” and make his life miserable day after day after day. He might kill you.
nk (df76d4) — 10/10/2009 @ 4:35 pmColumbine was a tragedy of enormous proportions when you look at what led up to Klebold and Harris’s actions that day.
The press did a terrible job reporting on this leaving many myths such as “they were loners” and
“they were only going after jocks in white hats that picked on them” drivel.
A very objective and well researched book about Columbine written by Dave Cullen is well worth reading.
It is chilling to learn just how much these boys did fit in and appear like the “guys next door”.
Yes there were signs (especially the writings which much of was hidden except what little they put online) but when put in context,there are thousands of kids with the same “symptoms” in every city.
Klebold and Harris created a potent cocktail that feed off of each others metal problems which finally lead them to try and blow up and kill most of the kids that they grew up and hung out with.
No doubt this case study opens the doors to many modern behavioral problems of today and the more we learn (such as Mrs. Klebold speaking out) the better we will become in finding solutions to prevent such tragedies in the future.
Baxter Greene (af5030) — 10/10/2009 @ 4:52 pmComment by Baxter Greene — 10/10/2009 @ 4:52 pm
You got it in one. I lived in Denver when this happened. The media got nearly all of it wrong in the early days reporting and not much was ever corrected effectively. As usual.
God bless Mrs. Klebold. What a horrid thing to live with, that she has obviously faced it is really amazing.
Vivian Louise (e35449) — 10/10/2009 @ 5:42 pmI invite everyone to read Dan Savage’s article about Columbine, Clique…Clique…Bang!
Jim C. (b33a68) — 10/10/2009 @ 6:42 pmI can’t agree. They ignored what was apparently months of those two jackasses building bombs and blowing crap up to test them.
While their parents get some sympathy for me, it stops well short of anything useful.
Scott Jacobs (d027b8) — 10/10/2009 @ 6:49 pmnk
Klebold and Harris were not abused by their classmates at all – Harris in particular was quite popular, in fact. Don’t make excuses for them – they were evil.
packsoldier (c95e03) — 10/10/2009 @ 6:53 pmI’d had no inkling of the battle Dylan was waging in his mind.”
As anyone who has raised children knows, one of the most crushing things a parent can face is discovering your child has been struggling horribly with something and you as the parent and protector, had no clue.
Mrs. Klebold has been amazingly brave to confront this knowledge, accept it, and then proceed to find out all that she can about the issues of suicide and the desperation her son acted upon.
Two agonizing burdens she will forever carry: knowing it was her beloved son who murdered, and knowing that she had no idea how far gone he was before it was too late. Both burdens would wreck a parent.
Dana (863a65) — 10/10/2009 @ 7:09 pmThis would never have happened if those two boys hadn’t been so very, very white.
Van Jones (6b707a) — 10/10/2009 @ 7:29 pmYa know, I hate when people use fake names to comment. When adj-Dana does it, he maintains his blog-link in his moniker so everyone knows who it is. But when “Van Jones” does it, who on Providence’s green Earth is “Van Jones”???
John Hitchcock (3fd153) — 10/10/2009 @ 7:32 pmI feel horrible for her. It is awful enough to grieve for her own son, but to grieve the loss of him and simultaneously be horrified by his final act must be an emotion beyond comprehension.
MayBee (34a54a) — 10/10/2009 @ 7:38 pmWhen you confront evil, it becomes very, very intimidating.
Richard Aubrey (814f2c) — 10/10/2009 @ 7:40 pmBetter look for root causes. “Bullying”, although not a factor here, was a handy escape.
Especially for the clergy. “Hey, preacher. This is evil. Isn’t this your job?”
“Um. Let’s look for root causes where we can blame somebody else, preferably somebody who’s conveniently dead.”
Jeez. I are rebuked and chastened. Hello. I am Van Jones. Except not really. It was just a clever ruse! I am baking my first-ever quiche right now, by the way. I hope it’s tasty but if it’s not that’s ok it’s just I had these eggs and spinach and figured why not give a quiche a shot.
happyfeet (6b707a) — 10/10/2009 @ 7:43 pmif you want a link here’s one you can click
happyfeet (6b707a) — 10/10/2009 @ 7:45 pmI thought it was hilarious. I have no idea why John Hitchcock complained, but you should have ignored his crankiness, happs.
MayBee (34a54a) — 10/10/2009 @ 7:45 pmthanks – I just – if it brings him peace of mind it’s no trouble… he’s gotten after me before about it but I can’t remember the particulars… at least I think it was him… it could have been someone else I guess… it’s not like I do that very often – it’s more of an Ace of Spades thing from what I understand and I hardly ever go over there… I used to never go over there cause I thought Jeff was so much way better than Ace and now I never go over there cause it just makes me sad Jeff is gone.
happyfeet (6b707a) — 10/10/2009 @ 7:51 pmfeets, get yerself a blog. Ya got some sweet commentary and a really amazing style. Then, put your blog into your name thingy. Then when you play games like that, you’ll always be known, ya know?
I just don’t much care for hiding, ya know? And playing those games without obvious ways to find out who ya are is just… well it grates, ya know?
John Hitchcock (3fd153) — 10/10/2009 @ 8:05 pmJH- you know the real-life Van Jones had some commentary about Dylan Klebold and other white kids shooting up suburban schools, right?
MayBee (34a54a) — 10/10/2009 @ 8:06 pmMayBee, I know you and feets are good people. I know that. But I also strongly object to fake names for any purpose if those fake names cannot be readily tied to known people. Like I mentioned, adj Dana does it from time to time. In fact, adj Dana has times when he does it a lot. But he always has his blog-tag to identify him. That’s all I’m asking for.
If you’re gonna fake someone else, have a blog-tag identifier. Ya know? Just to be on the up-and-up.
John Hitchcock (3fd153) — 10/10/2009 @ 8:13 pmIt’s easy to make me a fake footsie, ceptin I can’t talk so interestingly as footsie, he’s the bee’s knees. But I got me a blog. And you know who I am.
fake happyfeet (3fd153) — 10/10/2009 @ 8:16 pmthank you that was nice what you said and I’ll just be me from now on here at Mr. P’s…
the quiche is tasty but I wouldn’t call it quiche… more of an egg casserole really…
I need to get my mom’s egg dish recipes from somebody. Or I just need to crack open a Southern Living cookbook. Same dif.
happyfeet (6b707a) — 10/10/2009 @ 8:17 pmhey cut that out
happyfeet (6b707a) — 10/10/2009 @ 8:19 pmBut I also strongly object to fake names for any purpose if those fake names cannot be readily tied to known people.
Thanks for sharing your personal preferences.
MayBee (34a54a) — 10/10/2009 @ 8:22 pmI’m a big Southern Living fan, feets, but when it comes to recipes I prefer Tyler Florence.
DRJ (7fbae6) — 10/10/2009 @ 8:28 pmI gotta be me, but my heels won’t let me.
happytoes (3fd153) — 10/10/2009 @ 8:28 pmOMG, happytoes aka happyfeet, you’re killing me. BTW, I think quiche means ‘egg tart’, so you’re close.
Dana (863a65) — 10/10/2009 @ 8:33 pmI bookmarked and I will explore but for sure I’ll never not just run over to Ralph’s and buy a shell. Dough is very intimidating. I cook something from a recipe maybe once every two months really. My friend J goes to a cooking class and I’d like to go sometime just not with her.
happyfeet (6b707a) — 10/10/2009 @ 8:41 pmArtsy Dana, I gots me a blog. Sorry to confuse you. But I understand, it’s a girl thing to be so easily confused.
John Hitchcock (3fd153) — 10/10/2009 @ 8:41 pm…which just goes to show that having a blog doesn’t necessarily make a clear identity – one has to assume the reader will click the link to confirm the identity….which has nothing to do with egg tarts but to the real happyfeet, you’re still close with egg casserole.
Dana (863a65) — 10/10/2009 @ 9:01 pmhappyfeet,
I would use Ina Garten’s recipe for the pastry if I had to make it myself. But I cook for fun and making pastry from scratch isn’t fun to me.
DRJ (7fbae6) — 10/10/2009 @ 9:01 pmI was pleasantly surprised to discover that Ina Garten was once a budget analyst for President Ford, doing stuff with nuclear energy budgets and such. What an accomplished woman.
Dana (863a65) — 10/10/2009 @ 9:05 pmAgreed.
DRJ (7fbae6) — 10/10/2009 @ 9:09 pmArtsy Dana, I hover over links to find out where they go. At the bottom of my screen, I see the full link. Issues come into play when people use tinyurl, where the tinyurl shows up at the bottom of my screen. I don’t follow those links, but that info is tangntial.
John Hitchcock (3fd153) — 10/10/2009 @ 9:16 pmSorry for jumping in but just got here…they do the fake name thing over at AOSHQ all the time, as happyfeet mentioned, and IMO it’s usually both hilarious and on point. Since people are giving opinions…JMO.
After all, who the H*** is “no one you know” anyway? Might as well make a point with one’s name, and I confess I have – only a time or two here, though, so as not to run afoul of the consistent-name rule on this blog.
no one you know (1ebbb1) — 10/11/2009 @ 6:04 amIs Ina Garten the Barefoot Contessa? Ina Garten kinda sounds like a fake name, along the lines of Seymour Butz.
JD (243ec7) — 10/11/2009 @ 6:32 amMy friend, an amazing cook, gave me this easy way to make pastry base for quiche:
4 T butter
1/4 c milk
1 c self rising flour*
melt butter and add milk to warm. Add flour and mix/ Press into quickhe dish around sides and bottom. Bursh egg white over bottom to seal, then add quiche filling.
Super easy and works every time.
*(or 1 cup flour + 1-1/4 t baking powder+ 1/8 t salt)
MayBee (34a54a) — 10/11/2009 @ 8:41 amIs Ina Garten the Barefoot Contessa?
I always thought Ava Gardner was The Barefoot Contessa.
AD - RtR/OS! (6e8409) — 10/11/2009 @ 9:03 am(especially the writings which much of was hidden except what little they put online)
I was under the impression that Klebold had written and filmed a short pic for one of his classes that depicted a gunman shooting up the school, and was asked later about it by his teacher after he submitted it. Is that correct, and were his parents contacted afterward?
Dmac (5ddc52) — 10/11/2009 @ 9:05 amI have a goal now to conquer quiche pastry. Next weekend.
self rising flour
who knew?
happyfeet (6b707a) — 10/11/2009 @ 9:16 amA nice quiche crust is no quiche crust at all, or barely any. – a dust of ground up oyster crackers and parmesan on the buttered side of a springform pan is nice especialy with one of those foofy quiches they have at the Trellis in Williamsburg.
http://tiny.cc/MYxOs
SarahW (692fc6) — 10/11/2009 @ 9:43 amOr publish pictures of the prophet Mohammed.
Harris and Klebold had much in common with the homicide bombers in Israel.
I have read letters in the Los Angeles Times advocating the juveniles should not be sentenced to life without parole on the basis that juveniles are more impulsive.
Just because juvelines are more impulsive does not mean that they are always impulsive. The Columbine massacre was premeditated.
Michael Ejercito (6a1582) — 10/11/2009 @ 10:13 amI enjoy the fake name thing over at AoS. Cracks me up, but it’s got to be witty.
Ina Garten reminds me a little of Julia Childs.
Vivian Louise (e35449) — 10/11/2009 @ 11:15 amIn re: #41, Dmac:
IIRC, Klebold and his partner made a disturbing video of masked assassins roaming the halls of their very school, using fake bombs and rubber guns for a social studies class.
This so upset the teachers and the school adminstrators they called in both sets of parents and showed them the video project.
ROBERT_RUDZKI (7cca33) — 10/11/2009 @ 4:00 pmJD,
Ina Garten is the Barefoot Contessa.
DRJ (7fbae6) — 10/11/2009 @ 4:46 pmReal men can eat quiche. Real men can also wear pink.
JD (2eff36) — 10/11/2009 @ 4:53 pmROBERT_RUDZKI,
Do you have a link for your statements? The official Columbine report mentions videotapes but says they weren’t found until after-the-fact and it sounds like no one else knew about them.
DRJ (7fbae6) — 10/11/2009 @ 4:55 pmJD, I demand you retract your outrageous statement! Real men would not be caught dead in pink! If they were dressed in pink for their funerals, they would sit up and deck the morticians! And quiche? That sounds like something that seeps through your toes while walking barefoot through a marsh. No men with any testosterone in their bodies would eat toe-jam!
Take it back, JD, or be rejected by real men!
John Hitchcock (3fd153) — 10/11/2009 @ 5:18 pmQuiche is tasty is all I know. SarahW’s sounds easy, too.
happyfeet (6b707a) — 10/11/2009 @ 5:24 pmReal men wear what they want and eat what they want.
nk (df76d4) — 10/11/2009 @ 5:35 pmAnd the two things are not mutually exclusive.
nk (df76d4) — 10/11/2009 @ 5:35 pmDRJ:
http://www.acolumbinesite.com/hitmen.html
ROBERT RUDZKI (7cca33) — 10/12/2009 @ 9:32 am