In a story that does not mention Ted Kennedy’s role in causing Mary Jo Kopechne’s death, his sexual assault of a waitress, or anything else unfavorable about the lovable scamp who left a woman to drown while he dried out (figuratively and literally), the L.A. Times today informs us of Sen. Ted Kennedy’s very, very, very moving funeral.

We are not told of how a child was exploited to move ObamaCare. But we are told that “deep loss pervaded the cold, rain-lashed morning” under “doleful gray skies.” We are assured that Teddy’s “triumphs and tragedies had touched and inspired many around the world.” We are told that Obama delivered a “moving eulogy” and that a singer delivered “a heart-stopping rendition of Schubert’s ‘Ave Maria.'”

I think reporter Bob Drogin was moved. Did you get that impression?

I also think Bob Drogin is seeking an award for poetic writing. His bid will be more powerful if he writes in complete sentences. This is not a complete sentence:

He will buried near his assassinated brothers, President John F. Kennedy and Sen. Robert F. Kennedy.

I think there’s a missing in that sentence.

Oh: did you know that the casket was gleaming? Because it was:

A white pall was placed over the gleaming wood coffin. . . . . After the service, the honor guard unfolded the flag and replaced it atop the gleaming casket as organ music swelled and church bells tolled solemnly overhead.

The thesaurus is your friend, Mr. Drogin.

But I shouldn’t criticize Mr. Drogin’s writing. It’s admirable that he was able to fight through the tears and complete the story at all.

We just got a new laptop and may get another. I’m hooked on the mobility.

However, the screensize sucks — and if you get one with a bigger screen, the battery sucks. So what I’d like to do is get a setup where I have a single large-sized monitor on my desk, and can hook up any laptop to it — whether it’s my Dell laptop from work, my new Gateway laptop, our aging HP laptop with the large screen, or any other brand we choose to get in the future.

Ease of connection is important. I don’t want to have to screw in a DVI or VGA connection every time I hook the sucker up to the desk monitor. That means some sort of docking station, or a USB-controlled monitor. I see Samsung has a new one out this year, and it seems kind of pricey but I’ll still get it if it does the job. But it’s a little low in height; I want one on a stand so it can sit on my desk and be at eye level.

I have a new assignment (did I mention this? I am no longer in Compton but am assigned to the gang unit in Long Beach) and my workload is very heavy. (Have you noticed the slowdown in my blogging? I think I did around 35 posts last month. Nice thing is, the less I blog, the better our traffic is — this month was the best traffic month since the election.) I spend a lot of time at the desk at home now, and I need a good setup with a good-sized monitor. By which I mean at least 19 inches. 21 would be better.

I’m also willing to listen to suggestions on desks. We need to scrap the one we have and get a roomier one, given the amount of time I will be spending in the home office. I saw a nice desk at Staples today that is sizable and L-shaped, with a nice hutch, for around $500 for the whole set. Reviews say it scratches easily but is otherwise very nice.

Thanks for your thoughts. Please keep my particular specifications in mind when you make suggestions.

Mock it if you like, but here’s a sample of what you’re missing.

From Jim Treacher:

He was called the Lion of the Senate. Not for his white mane or mighty roar, but because he mated without limits and killed without remorse.

And from the sublime to the ridiculous, here is my favorite new feed: Shit My Dad Says. It’s all good, as the kids say nowadays, but here are some samples:

(watching the Little League World Series) “These kids are all fat. I remember when you were in little league…. You were fat.”

“The dog don’t like you planting stuff there. It’s his backyard. If you’re the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that.”

“You need to flush the toilet more than once…No, YOU, YOU specifically need to. You know what, use a different toilet. This is my toilet.”

“Don’t touch the bacon, it’s not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i’ll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing.”

“Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me.”

I want to meet this guy.

Unbelievable:

As Allahpundit says:

Enter this poor little boy, charged with politicizing a prayer because the gutless pols around him didn’t have the balls to do it themselves.

. . . .

Exit question: Anyone have any young’uns at home they’d be willing to volunteer to lead prayers at the next big GOP funeral? We might as well make use of the camera time while we have it. “Dear god, please grant us the strength to privatize social security and construct a robust missile defense shield. We pray to the Lord.”

I would really like to know who came up with this idea.

[Guest post by Jack Dunphy]

The Latin admonishment regarding speaking of the dead (nil nisi bonum de mortuis dicere) is one best followed in most circumstances, but some of the paeans being lavished on the late Sen. Kennedy are such appalling whitewashes of history that a bit of record-correcting is called for. In Friday’s Washington Post, for example, Eugene Robinson closed his encomium to Kennedy as follows:

But we sorely miss Kennedy’s moral clarity. He believed our nation has the responsibility to ensure that every American has the right to affordable health care. Perhaps his life as an eternal prince taught him that happiness and salvation lie in sacrificing self-interest for the greater good.

Mary Jo Kopechne would have benefitted from some health care, affordable or not, on that night in 1969 when Mr. Kennedy swam away from his sunken car and left her to die. Where was that “moral clarity” and “sacrifice of self-interest” then?

–Jack Dunphy

[Guest post by DRJ]

Drug smugglers are finding inventive ways to avoid border security. Twice this summer, federal officials have found marijuana plants illegally being cultivated in Colorado’s national forests, including a “recent discovery of more than 14,000 plants in Pike National Forest” valued at $2.5M:

“Forest Service officials said they believe illegal immigrants are being brought to Colorado by Latin American drug cartels for mass cultivation of marijuana.

Michael Skinner, a law enforcement officer with the U.S. Forest Service in Colorado, said warning signs of possible drug trafficking include “tortilla packaging, beer cans, Spam, Tuna, Tecate beer cans,” and campers who play Spanish music. He said the warning includes people speaking Spanish.
***
“Our goal is to not allow organization using foreign nationals or any other persons involved in illegal drug production to take over our national forests,” the department warned.”

Hispanic groups objected to this characterization, claiming federal officials are unfairly targeting Hispanics.

— DRJ

[Guest post by DRJ]

Ed Klein, former Newsweek foreign editor, remembers his friend Ted:

— DRJ

[Guest post by DRJ]

In fairness, the Texas Governor’s race was already interesting because it has an honest-to-goodness GOP primary race between Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison and Governor Rick Perry. But it’s even more interesting now that Richard “Kinky” Friedman will reportedly enter the Democratic primary race:

“Friedman ran as an independent for governor in 2006, coming in fourth in a five-man race.

Friedman will join Fort Worth businessman Tom Schieffer, Tyler rancher Hank Gilbert and former Railroad Commission nominee Mark Thompson in the Democratic contest.

On the Republican side is Gov. Rick Perry, U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison and Wharton activist Debra Medina.”

Coming in 4th in a 5 man race may not sound like much but there aren’t many candidates like Kinky, best known for his band ‘Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys.’ For one thing, he sells cigars online. For another, one of his first campaign events is a Bloody Mary Morning with Willie Nelson.

— DRJ