Patterico's Pontifications


Sullivan Falls on His Ass, Claims: “I MEANT to Do That!!”

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 11:41 pm

Yesterday the blogger formerly known as RAWMUSLGLUTES (link not safe for work) published the following embarrassing post:

Cheney Indicted

For abuse of prisoners. And some don’t believe God exists.

As I (and others) pointed out, Sullivan’s excitement was stunningly misplaced. The prosecutor who brought this turkey is a lunatic, and the case is going nowhere.

Sullivan, mortified, pulled the trick performed by little kids all over the world, after they yell: “Hey, Mom! Watch this!” . . . and then fall right on their ass.

They bluster through it. They stand up, put on a serious face, and say: “I meant to do that.”

When a kid does it, it’s cute. When Andrew Sullivan does it, it’s just pathetic.

Sullivan tried to shrug off his embarrassing comments as a joke, in a post titled Patterico and Code:

It seems that the right-wing blogger [that’s me! — P] was immune to the irony in my post about Cheney that noted he was indicted for “abuse of prisoners.”

Oh, it was ironic. I see.

It was that trademark deadpan wit!

Patterico describes this obviously wry remark thus: “Anderson Sullivan”; “shrieking, hysterical”; “wets his pants”. Drudge had the same headline, without the deadpan commentary. Was he shrieking and hysterical?

No, because Drudge didn’t include the stupid line about how there really is a God, and you did, Sullivan.

Let’s closely examine the concept that Sullivan didn’t get fooled by the news that Cheney had been indicted. Yes: let us carefully consider that possibility — and then laugh heartily and discount it entirely. Because if Sullivan didn’t get taken in by this stupid story, it would be the first stupid story in history that didn’t take him in.

Let’s review, shall we?

This is the hysterical blogger who was taken in by the idiot Kos rumor that Trig Palin was the offspring of Sarah Palin’s daughter. Even the morons at Kos were so embarrassed that they deleted the post. Not Sullivan. He still wants the medical records!

This is the moron who, when there was a bogus rumor that Sarah Palin had been involved in an affair with Todd Palin’s former business partner, immediately wrote two breathless posts about it, including one that said, and I quote:

Todd Palin’s former business partner files an emergency motion to have his divorce papers sealed. Oh God.

“Oh God.”

Note the studied irony and the wry tone of this deadpan remark! Golf clap, everyone!

Some idiot reader of his wrote him to say that Sarah Palin had named her kids after characters in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and he fell for it.

Sullivan hastily concluded that McCain had “clearly” said “horseshit” during a debate — and then took down the post when it became clear McCain had done no such thing.

There is a pattern here, and it is not a pattern of studied reflection and wry, deadpan commentary. It is a pattern of jumping to conclusions like a teenaged girl screaming OMG!!!11!1! at every idiot rumor out there.

I deemed Sullivan to be “shrieking and hysterical,” not out of homophobia, but rather because he is shrieking and hysterical — as the above examples amply demonstrate.

This is not a man with high journalistic standards. His idea of research is quoting Wikipedia — or if he’s feeling really energetic, Democrat-penned opposition papers. His idea of Serious Journalism includes discussing the love life of Sarah Palin’s sister and the MySpace page of Levi Johnston. His idea of debate commentary consists of incisive observations like this: “Piper is poking Trig in the eye!”

Having implied that I am homophobic, Sullivan goes on to criticize me by pointing to . . . my commenters.

So we’re judging each other by our commenters, eh, Andrew Sullivan? I’m happy to play that game.

Because, you see, shortly after Sullivan linked my post, this blog got a rush of nasty comments coming here from his blog, saying disgusting things the likes of which we haven’t seen here in quite some time.

Here are some of the comments left by Sullivan’s fans. Keep in mind that — according to his own standards — these comments all reflect directly on Andrew Sullivan. First we’ll hear from “timpundit”:

But, I’m guessing you don’t care as long as you can call a gay man a a’faggot’, right?

Nobody had used that word until “timpundit” did. Another commenter stole the name of a regular commenter here named “Icy Truth” and said:

My wife is fat and a raging bitch, but it sure is fun to make fun of Sully! Heh.

Then we have “RightWingTruthTeller” who addressed another of my commenters by saying:

Scott, I suspect that your wife falls into the obese category as well. 1-800-JENNY-CRAIG.

But the classiest Sullivan fan was clearly Mitch, who left this charming comment about Sarah Palin:

Really, Karl? Sarah is so hot I’d lick her asshole ten ways till Sunday.

Normally, I’d delete such comments, but I have decided to let them stand as a testament to the class of Sullivan’s fans — and therefore, according to Sullivan’s own rules, to Sullivan himself.

In a separate post, Sullivan salves his wounded ego by posting an e-mail from a “reader” talking about what a great blogging day he had. Various topics are listed, including one he stole from my site without attribution from a Justin Levine post. Sullivan then says:

You never know what you’re going to be blogging about from day to day. As I got up this morning and removed my urine streaked boxers, put on my hysterical dress, and sat down to shriek, the world just opened up.

Wow. I really wounded him.

But, Sully? When I said you had wet your pants with excitement over the prospect of a Cheney indictment, I didn’t mean you had wet your boxers with urine.

You shrieking, hysterical moron.

Revisiting George Costanza’s “Worlds Collide” Theory — What Will Happen When The Obama Administration Doesn’t Function Like the Obama Campaign?

Filed under: General — WLS @ 7:14 pm

[Posted by WLS Shipwrecked]

I was reminded of the Seinfeld episode that introduced us to the George Costanza “Worlds Collide” theory when I read this article yesterday about how the “military-like” and “disciplined” Obama campaign was giving way to an Administration stuffed with out-sized political personalities.


Pot Helps Memory?

Filed under: General — DRJ @ 6:27 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]

The Austin American-Statesman noticed a recent study from researchers at Ohio State University (or, as their football fans call it, The Ohio State University) that use of pot might help memory. The linked article is interesting but the comments are priceless.


Obama Names Tom Daschle as HHS Secretary (Updated)

Filed under: Obama — DRJ @ 2:55 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]

The Chicago Tribune reports Barack Obama has named former Senator Tom Daschle to be his Secretary of Health and Human Services. (Perhaps this explains in part Obama’s revised lobbyist rules that focus on the area of expertise. Daschle’s wife is an established lobbyist regarding aviation matters.)

This position will likely make Daschle the point man on health care — especially since he wrote a book on the subject earlier this year– so let’s look at his record:

  • Voted to allow more affordable drugs via Canadian imports.
  • Voted YES on allowing patients to sue HMOs in state and federal courts & collect punitive damages up to $5M.
  • Voted YES on increasing tobacco restrictions, an anti-smoking vote.
  • Voted NO on means-based testing for Medicare insurance premiums.
  • Voted YES to block a plan which would allow tax-deductible medical savings accounts.
  • Voted to increase funding to combat the global HIV/AIDS epidemic.
  • The Publishers’ Weekly review of Daschle’s book adds this: “Daschle proposes creating a Federal Health Board, similar to the Federal Reserve System, whose structure, functions and enforcement capability would be largely insulated from the politics and passion of the moment, in addition to a merging of employers’ plans, Medicaid and Medicare with an expanded FEHBP (Federal Employee Health Benefits Program) that would cover everyone.”

    Given his background and connections in Congress, Daschle’s appointment suggests Obama is considering comprehensive health care legislation and wants an experienced politician to handle it.

    Bad news for the free market. I know this isn’t the only reason but no wonder the Dow is under 8,000. What’s worse is Obama hasn’t even taken office yet.

    UPDATE: Chief of Staff-designate Rahm Emanuel says Obama wants universal health care because incremental increases in coverage won’t be acceptable.

    — DRJ

    Kathleen Parker: Martyr

    Filed under: General — Patterico @ 8:25 am

    Kathleen Parker, Martyr:

    So it has been for the Grand Old Party since the 1980s or so, as it has become increasingly beholden to an element that used to be relegated to wooden crates on street corners.

    Short break as writer ties blindfold and smokes her last cigarette.

    Which is to say, the GOP has surrendered its high ground to its lowest brows. In the process, the party has alienated its non-base constituents, including other people of faith (those who prefer a more private approach to worship), as well as secularists and conservative-leaning Democrats who otherwise might be tempted to cross the aisle.

    Oh, the courage!

    Between Parker’s martrydom and Barack Obama’s “Being the President (Elect) Is a Lonely Job” schtick, we’re surrounded by selfless, courageous people, aren’t we?

    It’s a very special time.

    (Link fixed.)

    Cheney Indicted in Clearly Bogus Indictment; Sullivan Wets His Pants with Excitement

    Filed under: General — Patterico @ 7:07 am

    [Welcome to readers of Andrew Sullivan, or as he was known when he posted ads seeking promiscuous gay sex, RAWMUSLGLUTES. Link is not work-safe. This fact is amusing because he was simultaneously denouncing promiscuous gay sex. But then, he has always been a stinking hypocrite. My response to his dishonest claims of deadpan humor is here.]

    Yesterday, Andrew Sullivan wrote a post that said, in essence: ZOMG CHENEY FINALLY INDICTED I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG OH THERE IS A GOD!

    Here is his entire post:

    Cheney Indicted

    For abuse of prisoners. And some don’t believe God exists.

    Calm down, Excitable Andy. Let’s listen to what lefty Steve Benen says about this TREMENDOUS NEWS over at the Washington Monthly:

    At first blush, the headline looked pretty extraordinary: “Texas Grand Jury Indicts Cheney, Gonzales on Charges Related to Prisons.” Wait, Dick Cheney’s been indicted? It sounded too good to be true, in large part because it is.

    . . . .

    The AP report noted that the indictments “have not yet been signed by the presiding judge, and no action can be taken on them until that happens.” And that, of course, is unlikely to ever happen.

    The prosecutor in question is Willacy County District Attorney Juan Angel Guerra, who’s apparently developed a reputation for being something of a … how do I put this gently … legal eccentric. A lawyer for Democratic state Sen. Eddie Lucio, Jr., who is also charged in the Cheney/Gonzales indictment, called Guerra a “one man circus.”

    . . . .

    I don’t doubt there are many Bush administration detractors who’d be thrilled to see Cheney and Gonzales get indicted, but this probably isn’t a development to get excited about.

    Unless you’re Andrew Sullivan, who takes as true any development unfavorable to Republicans, no matter how freaking wild it sounds.

    This is why people mock you, Sullivan. Because you’re a shrieking, hysterical, gullible moron.

    And that’s me pulling my punches.

    UPDATE: Sullivan now says he meant to do that! Mr. Trig Trutherism was just being ironic, he says. Suuuure.

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