Patterico's Pontifications

1/2/2008

New Year’s Predictions by Consul-At-Arms

Filed under: Current Events — DRJ @ 6:42 pm



[Guest post by DRJ]

As I get older, one of the worst things about a new year is facing the same old New Year’s resolutions that I failed at before, such as “I will eat healthier food/exercise more” or “I will spend more time with my family and work less” (or vice versa, as the case may be). However, one of the best things about the new year is the fun of New Year’s predictions, especially now that we can share predictions on the internet.

Consul-At-Arms has posted what I think are this year’s best predictions. Here are his first 10 (of 20) predictions:

“1. Fidel Castro will continue his quest to outlive every U.S. president ever elected.

2. Hollywood and network television will step up their recycling of old themes, fads, and scripts, moving into the re-hashing of the early 1990s.

3. Someone in Hollywood will be bold enough to make a modern war movie (Iraq, Afghanistan or some other aspect of the GWOT) that actually makes the U.S. seem like the good guys and not victims. It will be wildly successful.

4. An illegal alien with a prior arrest/deportation record will kill an American family and/or children in a drunk driving incident.

5. Paris (the socialebrity, not either of the cities) or Brittany or some other papparazzi-magnet will do something pointless that gets a lot of press.

6. William Shatner will win critical acclaim for a dramatic portrayal.

7. The Chinese government will do something incredibly boneheaded in connection with their preparations for hosting the Olympics.

8. The U.S. fighting soldiers, marines, sailors, and airmen will continue their valiant and underappreciated service to this country. Politicians will undercut their efforts.

9. Some perfectly awful musicians will make a great pile of money for performing some utter crap.

10. Putin will remain in control of the Soviet Uni. . . . , er, Russia.”

Check out the next 10 (here’s the link again) and add your own predictions here … or there.

— DRJ

10 Responses to “New Year’s Predictions by Consul-At-Arms”

  1. fwiw, the Writer’s Strike had better end soon.

    The national commercial for the upcoming SAG Awards had a Chyron which read:

    The Screen Actors Guild Awards,
    Where Hollywood Honors It’s
    [sic] Own

    My predictions:

    1. Patterico will reads one issue of the LAT without incident.

    2. The November election will cause a record numbers of attornies being put on standby

    3. Ben Ginsberg will look even more like a Gremlin who’s had water after midnight than he did last election cycle when he appears on CNN.

    4. Bill Clinton will do something spectacular to sabotage Hillary’s campaign

    5. Glenn Reynolds will post ‘heh’ 49 times between now and the election.

    6. JibJab will post a video that sorta-kinda sucks.

    7. Markos Moulitsas will become a mini Stephanopolous-like corporate shill, only posting on dKos intermittently throughout the Spring and Summer.

    8. Chris Matthews will ruin at least three silk ties from either his own spittle or that from Larry O’Donnell.

    9. Karl Rove will pardon Scooter Libby.

    10. The Republican Convention will erupt in Chicago ’68-like chaos when the Huckabee evangelicals lose control of the snakes they were handling on the convention floor causing the Romney delegates to defile their magical undergarmets.

    Resulting in a Fred Thompson/John McCain brokered convention.

    BumperStickerist (350875)

  2. 2, 4,5,8, and 9 on the original list are kind of cheating.

    A “New Year’s prediction” shouldn’t be a foregone conclusion.

    It’s kind of like saying “water will continue to be wet.”

    Merovign (4744a2)

  3. BumperStickerst,

    Heh.

    DRJ (29b04b)

  4. 1) The Mainstream Media, having learned absolutely nothing from Rathergate, will publish/broadcast AT LEAST one major anti-Republican story during the run-up to the election that will blow up in their collective face in less than a week.

    2) Hillary, having done less well than she expected in the primaries, will use the muscle of the Clinton machine to get the nomination at the Democrat convention, causing bad feelings in her own party that will become a major problem for her in the General Election.

    3) By publishing stories on Iraq and the Election that prove to be based on Wishful (Left-Wing) Thinking, the New York Times will continue its devolution from important news source to universally acknowledged partisan hack-rag.

    4) At least one terrorist organization will have the bad judgement to time a major attack just before the General Election, in the mistaken belief that this will intimidate American voters.

    C. S. P. Schofield (42b660)

  5. “Fidel Castro will continue his quest to outlive every U.S. president ever elected.”

    He’s planning to live forever. So far, he’s 100% successful!

    Kevin (4890ef)

  6. Sure. Castro’s an atheist. He doesn’t have anywhere to go. 😉

    nk (5221ab)

  7. Just one: the recent successes of The Surge will continue in Iraq to the point where General David Petraeus will get his own version of the “Chuck Norris Facts”.

    Actually, I’ll make another one: TIME will come to its senses and make General Petraeus its 2008 Person of the Year.

    Rock (841cc0)

  8. Fidel Castro will continue his quest to outlive every U.S. president ever elected.

    Well, so far he’s outlived everyone but the two George Bushes, Bill Clinton, and Jimmy Carter, so he’s 40/43rds of the way there.

    Dana (d671ab)

  9. Thanks for the quote and the link. I had fun writing my predictions, I’m glad you had fun adding to them.

    Consul-At-Arms (9a38d4)

  10. One day castro will croak off and just wait for the liberals including that idiot JIMMY CARTER will want us to fly our flags at half mast AND WE CAN TELL CARTER TO GO BACK TO PLAINS GEORGIA and PICK HIS PEANUTS and there will be a big time party for castro down there in that flaming place with the fellow with the pitch fork and horns

    krazy kagu (c6ad08)


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